Elaboration ElaborationElaboration is the addition ofsupporting details and explanationsto develop a description, anarration, or an argument.
ElaborationImagine that you would like to get a dog.
ElaborationHere are two DOGS FOR SALEads you mightsee in the Dog for sale. $150.local paper. Lucky Call 555-8652Which ad is FUN-LOVING Golden/Yellow Labbetter? named Spot loves cats and children, plays catch. Spot is 1 1/2 years old,Why? weighs 55 pounds, and is in good health. Shots current. $150. Call 555-3223.
ElaborationTypes of DOGS FOR SALEElaboration Dog for sale. $150 Lucky Call 555-8652 Facts and Statistics FUN-LOVING Golden/Yellow Lab named Spot loves cats and children, Descriptive plays catch. Spot is 1 1/2 years old, Details weighs 55 pounds, and is in good health. Shots current. $150. Call 555-3223.
ElaborationAs you write and revise, remember to elaborate.Consider using...
Elaboration ElaborationSensory DetailsFacts and StatisticsIncidents or AnecdotesSpecific ExamplesQuotationsVisuals
Sensory DetailsSensory details are bits of informationyou can collect throughyour five senses. Use details to enrich your descriptive and narrative writing.
Sensory Details SENSORY DETAILSLITERARY MODELThe black stove, stoked with coal and firewood,glows like a lighted pumpkin. Eggbeaters whirl,spoons spin round in bowls of butter and sugar,vanilla sweetens the air, ginger spices it; meltingnose-tingling odors saturate the kitchen. . . . —Truman Capote, “A Christmas Memory”
Facts and StatisticsFacts are statements that canbe proved, and statistics arefacts expressed as numbers. Use facts and statistics to support your opinions, arguments, and ideas.
Facts and Statistics FACTS AND STATISTICSSTUDENT MODELThe Panama Canal is among the greatestengineering feats in the world. Begun in 1904, ittook ten years to build. By 1913 more than 43,400workers were employed on the canal. They had todrain swamps and cut through jungles. In all,5,600 workers died from accidents or disease.
Incidents or AnecdotesIncidents or anecdotes are briefaccounts of single events. Use them to round out your descriptions of people or events.
Incidents or Anecdotes ANECDOTESPROFESSIONAL MODELShow business tradition holds that whatever happens,“the show must go on.” . . . Once flutist James Galwaywas performing in an outdoor concert at Ravinia, justnorth of Chicago. At one point in the show, when Galwayopened his mouth to take a breath, a large bug flew intoit. For a moment, he stopped playing and considered whathe might do. Then realizing the show must go on, he tooka great gulp and continued with his playing. —Bob Sheperd, “The Show Must Go On”
Specific Examples Use specific examples to illustrate general statements or to show the characteristics of a group.
Specific Examples SPECIFIC EXAMPLEPROFESSIONAL MODELThe insurance industry has been burned recently byearthquakes, hurricanes, and tornadoes. Florida’sHurricane Andrew alone bankrupted nine insurancecompanies. —John F. Ross, “Risk: Where Do Real Dangers Lie?”
QuotationsDirect quotations are recordsof people’s exact words. Use quotations to illustrate ideas or to lend authority to your opinions.
Quotations QUOTATIONSSTUDENT MODELThe author Ambrose Bierce knew how to putpeople in their place. In his humorous dictionary,he defined edible as “good to eat and wholesometo digest, as a worm to a toad, and a toad to asnake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and aman to a worm.”
VisualsUse charts, graphs, and othervisuals to present complexinformation more simply.
Visuals Gestation Periods for Mammals400 365350300 275250200 Days 148150100 61 6350 19 0 Mouse Dog Cat Sheep Buffalo Whale
Practice and ApplyUse an example to elaborate thefollowing sentence. 1. Many problems, even serious world conflicts, have been solved without violence.
Practice and ApplyProvide facts or statistics to support thefollowing statement.To see statistics you can use, click here. 2. Although more women are working today than ever before, they still struggle for recognition and equal pay in the workplace.
Practice and Apply • In 1900, women made up about 18 percent of the work force. • In 1900, women were mostly employed in factories, on farms, and as servants. • In 1999, women made up about 47 percent of the work force. • Many women are underpaid and work in low-level jobs. • Women who have thrived in male-dominated businesses include Ann Fudge, a division president at Kraft Foods, and Muriel Siebert, the first woman to buy a seat on the New York Stock Exchange.return toPractice and Apply
Practice and ApplyAdd an incident to the followingstory idea. 3. I had never been afraid of bugs.
Practice and ApplyAdd sensory details to thefollowing statement. 4. It was cool, so we made a campfire.
Practice and ApplyUse a quotation to support thefollowing essay topic. 5. Students in our class have strong opinions about homework.