psychology notes on relationship management


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psychology notes on relationship management

  1. 1. Module -1 What is the definition of a True Relationship? If you break down the word Re-la-tion-ship: Taking a journey on a ship with your partner and learning how to relate to one another. It is a journey to relate or learn from each other and from everything around you. You are taking this life journey together, creating magic moments and working through the hard or tough times, and most importantly growing stronger together. It is like you are consciousnesses merging to become one - not just getting along Definition: A relationship is a bond between two individual or more. Stages of Relationship: There two key role in the life span of relationship. The actual task of the role holders is dynamics and changes at different stages of the relationship. The Good Time: The role of the individual here is fairly straightforward – provide a loving, Attentive environment for one another where trust and communication are vital factors. The Bad Time: In this stage trust and communication breakdown. Now the role of the middleperson change dramatically, their role is now to provide the “glue” in the relationship. The End Time: This is the end stage of relationship, if the Middleperson succeed to maintain relationship then both individual move back to the first stage otherwise relationship break. Ten Tips For Healthy Relationships Healthy relationships bring happiness and health to our lives. Studies show that people with healthy relationships really do have more happiness and less stress. There are basic ways to make relationships healthy, even though each one is different…parents, siblings, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, professors, roommates, and classmates. Here are Ten Tips for Healthy Relationships! 1. Keep expectations realistic. No one can be everything we might want him or her to be. Sometimes people disappoint us. It’s not all-or-nothing, though. Healthy relationships mean accepting people as they are and not trying to change them! 2. Talk with each other. It can’t be said enough: communication is essential in healthy relationships! It means— • • • • Take the time. Really be there. Genuinely listen. Don’t plan what to say next while you’re trying to listen. Don’t interrupt. Listen with your ears and your heart. Sometimes people have emotional messages to share and weave it into their words. Ask questions. Ask if you think you may have missed the point. Ask friendly (and appropriate!) questions. Ask for opinions. Show your interest. Open the communication door.
  2. 2. • Share information. Studies show that sharing information especially helps relationships begin. Be generous in sharing yourself, but don’t overwhelm others with too much too soon. 3. Be flexible. Most of us try to keep people and situations just the way we like them to be. It’s natural to feel apprehensive, even sad or angry, when people or things change and we’re not ready for it. Healthy relationships mean change and growth are allowed! 4. Take care of you. You probably hope those around you like you so you may try to please them. Don’t forget to please yourself. Healthy relationships are mutual! 5. Be dependable. If you make plans with someone, follow through. If you have an assignment deadline, meet it. If you take on a responsibility, complete it. Healthy relationships are trustworthy! 6. Fight fair. Most relationships have some conflict. It only means you disagree about something, it doesn’t have to mean you don’t like each other! When you have a problem: • • • • • • • • • • • Negotiate a time to talk about it. Don’t have difficult conversations when you are very angry or tired. Ask, "When is a good time to talk about something that is bothering me?" Healthy relationships are based on respect and have room for both. Don’t criticize. Attack the problem, not the other person. Open sensitive conversations with "I" statements; talk about how you struggle with the problem. Don’t open with "you" statements; avoid blaming the other person for your thoughts and feelings. Healthy relationships don’t blame. Don’t assign feelings or motives. Let others speak for themselves. Healthy relationships recognize each person’s right to explain themselves. Stay with the topic. Don’t use a current concern as a reason to jump into everything that bothers you. Healthy relationships don’t use ammunition from the past to fuel the present. Say, "I’m sorry" when you’re wrong. It goes a long way in making things right again. Healthy relationships can admit mistakes. Don’t assume things. When we feel close to someone it’s easy to think we know how he or she thinks and feels. We can be very wrong! Healthy relationships check things out. Ask for help if you need it. Talk with someone who can help you find resolution—like your RA, a counselor, a teacher, a minister or even parents. Check campus resources like Counseling Services at 532-6927. Healthy relationships aren’t afraid to ask for help. There may not be a resolved ending. Be prepared to compromise or to disagree about some things. Healthy relationships don’t demand conformity or perfect agreement. Don’t hold grudges. You don’t have to accept anything and everything, but don’t hold grudges—they just drain your energy. Studies show that the more we see the best in others, the better healthy relationships get. Healthy relationships don’t hold on to past hurts and misunderstandings. The goal is for everyone to be a winner. Relationships with winners and losers don’t last. Healthy relationships are between winners who seek answers to problems together. You can leave a relationship. You can choose to move out of a relationship. Studies tell us that loyalty is very important in good relationships, but healthy relationships are NOW, not some hoped-for future development. 7. Show your warmth. Studies tell us warmth is highly valued by most people in their relationships. Healthy relationships show emotional warmth!
  3. 3. 8. Keep your life balanced. Other people help make our lives satisfying but they can’t create that satisfaction for us. Only you can fill your life. Don’t overload on activities, but do use your time at college to try new things—clubs, volunteering, lectures, projects. You’ll have more opportunities to meet people and more to share with them. Healthy relationships aren’t dependent! 9. It’s a process. Sometimes it looks like everyone else on campus is confident and connected. Actually, most people feel just like you feel, wondering how to fit in and have good relationships. It takes time to meet people and get to know them…so, make "small talk"… respond to others…smile…keep trying. Healthy relationships can be learned and practiced and keep getting better! 10. Be yourself! It’s much easier and much more fun to be you than to pretend to be something or someone else. Sooner or later, it catches up anyway. Healthy relationships are made of real people, not images! Maintaining Healthy Relationship: 1. People are Realistic and Flexible 2. Sharing and talking 3. Care 4. Use fair fighting techniques Some other steps: 1. Speak a little less, listen a little more Most people get tremendous pleasure from speaking about themselves. But, here we have to be careful; if we always speak about our achievements or tribulations, people will get fed up with our egoism. If we are willing and able to listen to others, we will find it much appreciated by our friends. Some people are not aware of how much they dominate the conversation. If you find you are always talking about yourself, consider the advice of the Greek philosopher, Epictectus: “Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as we speak.” 2. Which is more important being right or maintaining harmony? A lot of problems in relationships occur because we want to maintain our personal pride. Don’t insist on always having the last word. Healthy relationships are not built through winning meaningless arguments. Be willing to back down; most arguments are not of critical importance anyway. 3. Avoid Gossip If we value someone’s friendship we will not take pleasure in commenting on their frequent failings. They will eventually hear about it. But, whether we get found out or not, we weaken our
  4. 4. relationships when we dwell on negative qualities. Avoid gossiping about anybody; subconsciously we don’t trust people who have a reputation for gossip. 4. Forgiveness Forgiveness is not just a cliché; it’s a powerful and important factor in maintaining healthy relationships. However, real forgiveness also means that we are willing to forget the experience. If we forgive one day, but then a few weeks later bring up the old misdeed, this is not real forgiveness. When we make mistakes, just consider how much we would appreciate others forgiving and forgetting. 5. Know When to Keep Silent If you think a friend has a bad or unworkable idea, don’t always argue against it; just keep silent and let them work things out for themselves. It’s a mistake to always feel responsible for their actions. You can offer support to friends, but you can’t live their life for them. 6. Right Motive If you view friendship from the perspective of “what can I get from this?” you are making a big mistake. This kind of relationship proves very tentative. If you make friendships with the hope of some benefit, you will find that people will have a similar attitude to you. This kind of friendship leads to insecurity and jealousy. Furthermore, these fair weather friends will most likely disappear just when you need them most. Don’t look upon friends with the perspective “what can I get out of this?”. True friendship should be based on mutual support and good will, irrespective of any personal gain. 7. Oneness. The real secret of healthy relationships is developing a feeling of oneness. This means that you will consider the impact on others of your words and actions. If you have a true feeling of oneness, you will find it difficult to do anything that causes suffering to your friends. When there is a feeling of oneness, your relationships will be free of jealousy and insecurity. For example, it is a feeling of oneness which enables you to share in the success of your friends. This is much better than harboring feelings of jealousy. To develop oneness we have to let go of feelings of superiority and inferiority; good relationships should not be based on a judgmental approach. In essence, successful friendship depends on the golden rule: “do unto others as you would have done to yourself.” This is the basis of healthy relationships. 8. Humour Don’t take yourself too seriously. Be willing to laugh at yourself and be self-deprecating. This does not mean we have to humiliate ourselves, far from it — it just means we let go of our ego. Humour is often the best antidote for relieving tense situations. Module -2 Individual Differences:
  5. 5. A learner's personal characteristics that can affect how he / she learns. Individual differences are often explanations for differences in learning and performance among learners. The ways in which people differ in their behavior, thinking, working style, Attitude, values etc. Bridging Individual Differences: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Perceived Interdependence Shared goal Sense of Crisis Respect Trust Communication Style: 1. Assertive Communication: The most effective and healthiest form of communication is the assertive style. It is how we naturally express ourselves. We communicate clearly and forthrightly. We care about the relationship and strive for a win – win situation. 2. Aggressive Communication: Aggressive Communication always involves manipulation. Although there are a few arenas where Aggressive behaviour is called for (i.e., sports or war), it will never work in a relationship. 3. Passive Communication: in this mode we don’t talk much, question even less and actually do very little. Passive have learned that it is safer no to react and better to disappear than to stand up and be noticed. 4. Passive Aggressive Module - 3 Types of Interpersonal relationship: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. Family Friends Co-worker Enemy Teacher Counselor Mentor Advisor etc. Categories of Personal Relationship: 1. Kinship Relationship: Which we got through genetically and marriage like- Father, Mother, Father in Law, and Mother in Law etc. 2. Formalized relationship: for example Boss, co-worker, doctor, counselor etc. 3. Non-formalized relationship: friends, family member, boy friend, girl friend etc. Module – 5
  6. 6. Impression Management Impression Management is the goal directed activity of controlling or regulating information in order to influence the impression formed by an audience. How to leave a positive impression: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. Eye Contact (70% to 80%) A firm handshake Smile on your face Sit with your back straight Never ever cross your legs or fold your arms. Wear blue cloth, blue gives the impression of loyalty and respect. Your tone of voice Social skills
  7. 7. Impression Management Impression Management is the goal directed activity of controlling or regulating information in order to influence the impression formed by an audience. How to leave a positive impression: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. Eye Contact (70% to 80%) A firm handshake Smile on your face Sit with your back straight Never ever cross your legs or fold your arms. Wear blue cloth, blue gives the impression of loyalty and respect. Your tone of voice Social skills