Hello all, Sushi here. So I know those of you reading are probably Boxers, therefore,
you probably know that: A) I'm moving soon and B) I have been shooting scenes for
the long awaited Hair Legacy. However, being the easily distracted Sushi that I am, I
soon wanted to actually play the game rather than just build, decorate, and shoot
scenes for the finale. So I decided try another asylum... Dun dun duuunnn...
If you're confused as to the dramatic doom music allow me to inform you that every
asylum I have tried to accomplished has only ended in misery and death for all the sims
involved. So, bored and at the request of my fellow boxers I took all the playable teens
in Veronaville, put them in cocktail attire, placed them in a house full of mostly
decorations, and set off to work trying to actually finish one of these things without my
playable sim dying by ghost, fire, electrocution, hunger, or stupidity.... Pray for me.
I also made up a drinking game (who am I? Toast?) if you're bored, and like to drink
while reading a sims story. Every time you see a fighting cloud, take a drink (or eat a
cookie). These Veronaville kids hate each other with a passion, so you should be
wasted by the tenth slide or so.
WARNING! Not for light weights.
Did you think I was joking?
Three fights happened within the first five minutes of playing! But because I don't
want you to die of alcohol poisoning before we reach the middle of the story I'll only
show you one. I forget why Mercutio wants to put Juliette in a headlock, but these two
go at it as often as Romeo and Tybalt.
Bottom: “Obligatory job searching!”
Yes, my playable for this asylum is Bottom Summerdream. I forget her stats, but she is
awesome, a pleasure sim, and wants to become a Celebrity Chef.
The inmates are: Romeo, Mercutio, Tybalt, Puck, Hermia, Miranda, and Juliette (That
is a stupid way to spell Juliette!)
Tybalt: “About time. The service here is terrible! I'd like to talk to your manager, and
the least amount of time you can bring him to me the less I'll deduct from your tip.”
Juliette: “The spaghetti is a bit cold.”
Tybalt: “What!? Are you trying to give us food poisoning? I DEMAND that you
march your one cooking skill point butt BACK into the kitchen and make a fresh batch
Not everyone is spending their first day being entitled jerkwads. Some sims are
actually trying to get to know each other a little better.
Although if some people got TOO friendly this could come back to haunt them...
Like say the next day.
Hermia: “HOW COULD YOU?! With my COUSIN no less! YOU CAD!”
Puck: “Hermia! I didn—OW! Did you just hit me?”
Hermia: “WE'RE THROUGH!” *whack WHACK whack*
Puck: “I THOUGHT YOU WERE NON-VIOLENT VEGAN EMO CHICK!?”
Hermia: “You. LET. Her. WHISTLE. At. YOU!!!” *WHACKWHACKWHACK*
I do feel bad that Puck feels bad. He did still love Hermia, and really WHO is she to
TALK? She's got Mercutio and Puck around her little finger when she's a teen, and
then she gets mad to Puck for getting cat called by Miranda the Romance sim?
Please. We all know Puck is just SO better off without any of the Capp girls.
The day really doesn't get any better. I have had to learn to coordinate around the
various fighting that goes on. Bottom is far too eager to put away her studying to go
run off and watch a fight. But what I'm really worried about is someone leaving
something on the stove to go watch a fight.
That. Would. Be. Bad.
A couple of days into it Bottom finds a job in the Culinary career track. This is
something of a miracle, because most of the time there are only later expansion jobs
listed, and it's not like we can use a computer.
Even more amazing is the fact that everyone isn't dead, and there hasn't been a fire yet.
Note to anyone playing: never get an exercise bike. I lost three sims to it in my last go
at this. Also, why in heavens name did I only build ONE very small bathroom?!
Caller: *Heavy Breathing*
Caller: “HUFF... HUFF...!”
Juliette: “Ugh! Go to hell, pervert.”
Caller: “HUFF—heart attac...”
Juliette: *click* “The nerve of some people!”
Other than the fighting, and various phone calls from various friends and relatives
dying or otherwise healthy, life is pretty much mundane.
There have been no fires do to everyone being forced to watch the Cooking Network,
and life has not been so terrible as to cause any aspiration failures.
Although it is very, very, VERY dull. Therefore the inmates have devised ways to
Romeo: “You see how I'm not going through any of his things, drawing mustaches on
him, or putting shaving cream in his hand to later tickle him with a feather?”
Romeo: “I'm just watching him sleep...”
Puck: “Your vampire stalking skills are going to be kick ass if we ever get out!”
Mercutio: *whimper worry*
What's wrong Mercutio? Afraid everyone is going to die in a giant fireball of doom?
Cause really... That's more than plausible to happen in the next five minutes.
Mercutio: *whimper* “No! I'm afraid no one is going to think I'M worth watching
sleep... I'm as pretty as Bella Tybalt. But where is MY gorgeous Adonis of stalkery?”
Not really something he needs to worry about. There are enough creepers in the house
to make a whole series of books around, and turn me into a super rich millionairess.
Or maybe there's just not enough beds...
Life goes on in the Asylum house. Which progresses like so:
In the morning Button gets up to make breakfast, only to be distracted by some fight
that has broken out due to one sim stealing another sim's night time stalker.
Then the losing sim's big brother usually tries to smooth things over while Button is
serving cereal (because I don't want her using the stove in case of fire). After that
Button has a few minutes to freshen up before work...
And then the peons are left to their own devices for 6-8 hours.
The majority of the time I ignore them as they consistently complain that they can't
break out of the house to put the trash in the dumpster. Or that their needs are shot. Or
that they are smelly and someone has broken the shower or the toilet and they can't use
it so why don't they just piddle right on the carpet, hmm?
After Button gets home (sometimes promotion-less which makes Sushi go GRR) she
fixes dinner and then fixes whatever the peons broke before skilling/friending/or
whatever it is we need.
Hermia: “I broke the toilet again! Must be third time this week! Do you think your
brother who I dumped and am now starting to regret noticed?”
Hermia is one of the more amusing peons. After breaking up with the unspeakably
dashing Puck, she seems to have had a change of heart after her sister Juliette has set
her baby crazed sights on him.
Hermia: “GRR!! Can't you see my aspiration is FALLING! Oh it was a mistake to
leave Puck, I SEE THAT NOW!”
If you haven't noticed, she's bonkers. It really only goes downhill, for her, from here.
Hermia: “But HOW do I get him back?! True I have an armory of amazing charms
that would curl the toes of ANY male sim... But how to BEAT down Puck so that he
WILL take me back. THINK HERMIA!”
Puck & Juliette: “Simultaneous looking away from the crazy sim.”
Thinking really isn't her strong suite. Before long Hermia resorted to a very childish
problem solving method.
Hermia: *SMACK* “Stay AWAY from PUCK! No! Bad Juliette! BAD!”
Juliette: “What do you think y-you're doing. Hermy? Sniff-sniffle sob!”
It didn't really work with Puck either.
Hermia: *SMACK THROTTLE WHACK* “Please take me back, Puck! We
BELONG together!” *SLAP SLAP PINCH*
Puck let her know in his own way that he had no intentions of getting back together
I don't really know what she was thinking, but who really knows what goes on in the
minds of sims? For all we know, Puck's mad beat down meant reconciliation was
around the corner for Hermia... Why is there a big stinking pile of garbage just laying
WE. HAVE. ROACHES.
*sounds the alarms*
I instantly threw Bottom in to save the day. Roaches are BAD for an asylum. No one
allowed to go anywhere, everyone just staying in the same house with sickness and
never getting better--!!!
It could very well mean... That everyone is going to...
Bottom: “We're all going to d-d-die!”
Juliette: “I-I-I never got to have a baby!”
Hermia: “Serves you right... grumble mumble... Trying to take out the trash... Pfft. Put
some clothes on you hussy... twitch”
Bottom: “Readers, look upon the face that Sushi will soon have killed. If you can hear
me please tell my mother and father what has happened to their poor, little, tragic
Bottom. Who only wanted to be a Celebrity Chef--”
That's enough talking to the audience for you. True everyone in the house is sick due
to someone leaving garbage out, and it did take ALL NIGHT for the roaches to be
And even after they were all slaughtered the animation of them running around the
house lasted for two days... But still it's not so bad.
Bottom: “COUGH COUGH HACK! You could at least call a repairman for the
No can do, Bottom. Against the rules, but don't let sickness get you down.
The peons haven't let up on their daily routines of beat downs.
Mercutio: “No fair! Tybalt spends all his time getting ripped on the ballet barre!”
Tybalt: “And let THAT be a lesson to you! Ballet is truly a MAN'S SPORT!”
Or allowed frequent chills to inhibit their stand against clothing.
Juliette: “Who's a whiny little girl now?”
Mercutio: “I am.”
Juliette: “Who's your daddy?”
Mercutio: “You are... grumble”
Nor has the plague stopped everyone's favorite pass time of group sleep stalking.
However, Hermia seems to have regained some of her senses, and attacked the person
who she should have been upset with in the beginning... I guess.
Romeo: “Well, this is diverting.”
Mercutio: “You don't know the half of it.”
Romeo: “I thought Sushi said we'd be wasted by the time we came to the middle.”
Mercutio: “I think she would have just put down “fighting” but that happens in every
slide. We need people to READ her witty commentary.”
Romeo: “She pay you for all the PR?”
Throwing up, being tired, and constantly peeing due to illness seems to have tricked
Juliette into thinking she's pregnant. She's been carrying around the sack baby, which
she insists is for “practice”, for two days now.
Juliette: “Who's a fat squishy baby? Who's mummy's precious little sacky-ickums
Juliette: “Who's mummy's sacky-sookie-nimbly-numbly-wumbly? You're SO cute I
could just POKE your eyes out! LET me SEE those pretty eYeS!!!”
As her “due date” came and went Juliette brought out the sack baby more often... She's
actually starting to get a little scary...
Mercutio: “Think you can pick on a man IN LOVE? Huh? Who's the big scary ginger
Miranda: “You tell him Ro—I mean Puc—Whatever your name is.”
Ah... Nothing like a little ACR to make the house that much more messed up. Or it
totally would be messed up...
If jealousy was working properly.
Miranda: “I see you're enjoying your date!”
Mercutio & Bottom: “Slurp slurp slurp”
Miranda: “Kay, goose ya later!”
Even messed up Juliette is getting in on the action. Even though she already has a
boyfriend, and Puck was making slurping noises with Miranda five minutes ago.
Juliette & Puck: “Slurp slurp slurp”
I suppose there will be no ex-lovers fights then?
Onto a less spit swapping subject...
Note to self: Next time, don't buy skill building objects that need to be tuned.
Puck: “THIS IS IT! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!”
Tybalt: “Maybe if I look around like an idiot no one will think it was me...”
Juliette: “QUICK MR. FOOD PROCESSOR! JUMP INTO MY ARMS!!!”
Puck: “This may not be the time, but it looks like Mercutio's trying to pull a stick outta
Juliette's a—Is that a fire engine I hear?”
I've learn a bit about fires since playing various failed asylums. One thing everyone
should remember is to have a phone in ever single room of the house. Perhaps two
phones if you want your sims to survive...
Although phones do NOT help in a situation where the creator makes bad choices. For
Bottom: “B-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-A-P! :( “
Why do I even TRY to tempt fate?!
Bottom: “This is it! I'm DONE FOR!!!”
Juliette: “O-M-G! Who's going to cook for us now?!”
Romeo: “Bottom will die and Sushi will never play us again!”
Miranda: “I'm going to be stuck with with Woohoo want for the rest of my LIFE!”
Bottom: “THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONCERN. I'M ONLY DYING!”
Bottom: “Or... Not.”
I seriously thought she was a goner, but her needs were up enough that she DIDN'T
DIE! Only now she has an hour before work. QUICK! TO THE SHOWER-MOBILE!
Of course the rest of the house celebrates their (yet again) new lease on life the best
way they know how.
It really is quite touching.
Tybalt: “That last slide had fighting in it.”
Bottom: “Wow really? How out of the ordinary. DRINK”
Really, this game is fun for the whole family. Especially on holidays.
Oh crap. When did THIS happen?!
It seems sometime between Friday and Monday Hermia had died. Being the totally
vigilant sim player that I am, I did not notice that Hermia's portrait had disappeared
from the side panel until Monday morning when Bottom left for work...
We are really screwed when she starts to haunt...
Although the rest of the gang doesn't seem too worried, and are dutifully ignoring the
fact that there is one less member in their group (also one less bed and chair).
*Sim player has exited the room*
*Sim player comes back to story two months later*
What the frick are these little freaks doing? *checks notes * Mhmm... Hermia is dead.
Sims are stupid. Bottom is slowly climbing up latter... Uh huh. Fighting. Mhmm.
Refusing to eat. Mhmm... Ah, sims are now at the stage where their aspirations are so
low they will go to great lengths to boost themselves out of the red...
Like hook up with each other even though someone is already with a crazy red head
who starves herself until she is forced to block everyone else from the fridge so they
all starve too.
I really don't know why I didn't take out my auto-casual romance mod. Aside from the
fact that it's allllllllllll the way over in the documents folder and I was just too lazy to.
But it's given me some interesting conflict.
Mainly that it seems sims (who are in relationships with other sims) can flirt with
other sims (who are not their relationship sim) without any ramifications. As I know I
don't have no jealousy installed, I wonder how long this will continue until someone
finally notices something is off.
Lets take this time to actually focus on the sim I can control. A lot of the time I/other
players focus on the inmates, because lets face it... They is crazy!
However, Bottom Summerdream is now one of my favorite sims to play! (Why did no
one tell me she was so damn pretty? Why is she a kid in everyone's game and never
grows up? GROW HER UP! GROW HER UP NOW!!!!11!!1) So lets get to her daily
She is in essence the house's nanny. Her sole job is to keep food out, clean up piss
puddles, fix broken showers (why did I only give them one bathroom?), keep her
aspirations up, and skill her butt off so she can get promoted and get us out of here.
Oh yeah. And keep herself and one other sim ALIVE. Which IS REALLY HARD TO
DO WHEN I AM PLAYING!
Thankfully this story isn't all doom, gloom, and family squabbles. (It would be really
depressing if it was.) Because Bottom has found love!
Everyone with me, dwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwww...
Even better, it's someone in the house so if he dies she can beg for his life! Score!
Ahem. I mean, even better it's Mercutio who we all know gets a bum life, because he's
constantly bullied by Tybalt, his (dead) girlfriend was cheating on him, and his prat of
a brother is totally lame. Also Juliette hates him for some reason.
Speaking of random hatred and sims who randomly show up at the house uninvited.
What? We weren't talking about that? Oh well! A lot of weird stuff has been going on
One: Strange family members are showing up unannounced and uninvited only to try
and bug sleeping inmates by whacking each other around. Did I just repeat myself?
Two: Weird lightning strikes that occur during non-raining times that force otherwise
happy sims to dance around the burning ashes of a pine tree (in their underwear) in the
hopes that all will go well and they will not end up dead.
Three: Very bad things happening to my sims, but they survive. An example being
trying to catch fireflies only to be struck by lightning, complain about low motives,
and then making their way to the unoccupied toilet only to pee themselves before
getting to use it.
Four: Or if that's too complicated a way to almost die there is always fire.
Five: Or, ya know, starvation. Because apparently if you're starving the best method is
to NOT allow the best cook in the house (also the sim who is less likely to start a fire)
have access to the fridge so she can FEED YOU.
Cause you know, that's always the smart option.
Hermia: “BWAH HA HA! And you thought you've seen the last of me!”
Six: Hermia has started to haunt. We are all doomed.
Hermia: “YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I WAS DEAD!”
No I don't think saying we're all doomed is overly dramatic. She is scaring everyone
she can at least three times a night.
At least there is one mystery solved. It seems poor, dead Hermia died of starvation.
Probably caused by her obsession with the ballet barre...
Note to self: Freetime exercise equipment could be hazardous if not in control of sims.
Her favorite victims are Mercutio (former teenage crush) and Tybalt (obnoxious elder
brother). Who she both scares at least five times a haunting night. It's actually quite a
miracle that neither of them has died yet.
Bottom: “PLEASE! Mr. Grim, you don't understand! This is like her 100 th asylum! If
Tybalt dies, you KNOW we're totally done for! And I am SO CLOSE to becoming a
Celebrity Chef and getting the hell out of dodge!”
Grim: “Very well, in order to stop your pathetic whining you have one chance to
guess which hand contains Tybalt's soul.”
Bottom: “But Mr. Grim, Tybalt doesn't HAVE a soul.”
Grim: “Ha ha ha! Very funny, now let us proceed...”
Bottom: “Um... The left one.”
Bottom: “OH NOES!!!”
Grim: “It's been fun. I'll be seeing you soon... HA HA HA. No soul...”
Of course Hermia wasn't finished. All through out the week she tried to kill Mercutio.
Something I was not very happy with, because I was sure Bottom would be upset if
However that wasn't the only thing to happen.
Juliette found Puck and Miranda attempting to auto-woo on the sofa. (Which doesn't
work on the sectionals, FYI.)
It seemed the weird no jealousy glitch has finally worn off.
Juliette: “HOW DARE YOU, PUCK! I was okay with the whistling, and the goosing,
and the serenading, and the kissing, and the making out, and the heavy breathing, and
the tonguing, and the---”
Puck: “Oh for Grilled Cheese sake! Get on with it woman!”
Juliette: “YOUR CHEATING HEART WILL MAKE YOU WEEP, PUCK!”
Miranda: “Excuse me while I hack up a lung here. Don't mind the sim who's actually
dying of the plague.”
Bottom: “You stick at taking obligatory max creative skill picture taking.”
Yeah yeah yeah. Bottom has three non-work days in which she needs to: Max
creative, max cooking, and get herself into plat status so she can reach the top of her
Unfortunately time is running short.
Please please PLEASE don't get fire! Or ya know... DIE.
Meh, I'm not so much worried about these guys (although they could have aged into
better clothes). They are fixed in their routines, and honestly with Tybalt gone there
are far less fights in the house. Although if there is fighting it's usually a
Although they do leave more puddles than they use to...
Juliette: “JULiETtE CAn PIcK OUt BAbY'S eyES?”
And Juliette is still crazy. Perhaps a little more crazy now that she can't have a real
baby of her own. It's almost sad if she didn't look so scary...
Bottom: “You also suck at taking the max cooking skill too.”
Don't care, we need to get you on a date with Mercutio and then you can go to work!
Whoo! Lets get you promoted!
Tybalt: “Never thought you'd see me again, did you?”
No, go AWAY Tybalt! Bottom NEEDS to get promoted tomorrow! She'll be a
Celebrity Chef if she does. Now shoo! Go float and be pink some other day!
Bottom: “Hello? Ghost Busters? We've got two ghosts hanging around, and need an
emergency delivery of food before we all die a terrible death.”
Mercutio: “UHHH... I feel kinda funny...”
Bottom: “Mkay. Uh-huh. Okidasies, see you soon!”
Bottom: “PLEASE Mr. Grim DO NOT take away my FIANCE! I am one haunted
night away from being PROMOTED, and getting the hell OUT of this place. No
Grim: “None taken.”
Bottom: “Anyway, the death of Mercutio would put me so in the red I may get fired!
Oh, and I guess I'm kind of attached to the little nut ball.”
Grim: “Very well, you may keep your pet.”
Bottom: “YES! I ROCK SO HARD!!!”
Mercutio: “Auntie Em...? This line has been so abused I can't believe she used it...”
Mercutio: “Score one for the little man. Death doesn't come for me tonight!”
Grim: “Hmm. I do not understand why you want to keep him, but do try to keep him
alive. It is a very dangerous night.”
Bottom: “Mmmm... I could go for some Cap'n Crunch right about n--What? Oh yes,
yes. Of course.”
Even though they are on a date I really need Bottom to make sure everyone can get
food. Otherwise they may all starve to death.
And yes, Mercutio has been known to fight on dates... Not that it helps the dating
score as he usually loses.
Miranda: “Sob sob sob! My hair didn't convert when I became an elder... SOB SOB
Grim: “What did I say?”
Bottom: “HIGH SCORE!”
Grim: “I'll just be in the living room seeing how I'll probably be needed again.”
Finally, when the sun rose and the ghosts vanished we were finally able to get a
Dream Date. Now that Bottom is Platinum it's time for her to GO TO WORK!
Yay! I can't believe this. This is all happening so fast... I may actually WIN an
Bottom becomes a Celebrity Chef and the challenge is OVER! Whoo!
Juliette and Mercutio celebrated by slapping each other around in the snow.
Antonio Monty: “You'd think I'd have something to say about the time paradox
happening here, but really I'm just glad to see you're all alive.”
Genie: “I AM THE GENIE OF THE LAMP, AND SHALL GRANT YOU THREE WISHES!
HOW MAY I SERVE YOU MASTER?”
Bottom: “Okay, so we're all alive and would like to stay that way. Could you return
some of our—er--”friends” back to life so they don't kill us?”
Genie: “YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND!”
Bottom: “Hmm. Forgot about the possible zombism. Yeah. If you could make Tybalt
LESS zombish that would probably be for the best. I don't think the world is ready for
a Zombie Tybalt.”
Genie: “YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND!”
Tybalt: “I RULE! OH YEAH!”
Bottom: “Many thanks, Genie. See ya around.”
Genie: “Of course, until you rub again.”
I kind of figured we needed something more than just “the end”, and everyone
deserves a chance at happiness. Also we had a really really cool magic lamp that I
have never used before!
However, Hermia's “misfortune” has totally made her wacko. Her LTW of marrying
off six kids is glaring at me at the moment. She is not a happy zombie.
A makeover does nothing to lift her spirits. Even after I told her she looked like my
favorite gargoyle from Gargoyles! Nothing. She just kept sobbing about being undead,
and smelly, and not being able to have babies.
Pfft. At least she's ALIVE (kinda).
Puck: “Finally, a chance to be a bridesmaid. It's my dream come true!”
Aww, Puck. I just thought people would enjoy seeing you holding a bouqet of roses.
He and Miranda are not exclusive with one another, but a dream date both saved them
from aspiration failure.
Speaking of which, Juliette finally got her man to propose. Romeo had no qualms
about marrying her now, but I'm not sure if that's because she is still adverse to
wearing clothing or because she can no longer have kids.
Juliette: “I've waited SO long for this! This is the happiest moment of my LIFE! And
Doctor Mustache says I'm doing wonderful in therapy. I don't even need to poke out
bABieS eYEs anYmORe.. Cough, excuse me. ”
I waited until morning to throw the wedding party as Juliette (who is glaring like
someone who knows she can't have babies) wanted to throw one, and I can no longer
give her three kids in the hopes that they graduate from college. Romeo looks pleased
for (someone who knows Juliette can't have babies) a romance sim who just got
married. He honestly had no fears about it.
Tatiana: “Look at our children, Oberon. OLD! This is what happens when you leave
the protection of the elves. You become mortal. And OLD.”
Oberon: “Yes, dear. And marrying one of these mortals no less. Really, we should do
something about this.”
Foreshadowing anyone? Am I going to take it anywhere? Probably not.
Anyway, yes it IS a double wedding! I figured, why not?
Oh come on, you know it wouldn't be a Veronaville party if no one had a fight. What
kind of sensible hood are you playing?
Little Antonio's offspring is totally distraught that her father is in a fight and ran into
the other room to cry. I don't know why the townie who doesn't know anyone is so
After a whole asylum challenge Mercutio finally fulfills his long held want to have his
first woo-hoo with Bottom.
… That kind of sounds dirtier than it is.
Tybalt: “Hello ladies... Look at your man! Now back to me...”
YOU ARE IN TIME OUT TYBALT! No fighting at parties, and ruining the party
score for your SISTER who has wanted to get married FOREVER!
At least until the tickets become diamonds. Cause if you can do that then you're totally
off the hook.
Hermia: “I AM A RAGING ANGSTY SIM WHO DESERVES RESPECT!”
Yawn. Seriously, Hermia. You will be lucky if I play this hood ever again.
And this is a bad thing? Pfft! Respect, you'll never get it from your sims.
Bottom: “Or from your sim player... Why do I have to take out the garbage on MY
wedding day? Why can't Juliette do it? She's in a freakin' dress too!”
Uh... Because it's umm... OH LOOK IT'S THE LIMO! *flees*
Sims: “Simultaneous running!”
Yay! I hope you're all sober enough to read this, because I have finally successfully
completed an Asylum Challenge and no one (important) died! This end really means...