Hello everyone. My name is Replica. I'm a simple girl, living a simple life here in PajibaVille. Maybe...maybe it's
a little too simple. It's a very nice town - all the amenities...spa, stadium, bookstores...you know. This is my
little green and brown house here on the bottom right.
I live my life, eat my food, read, walk...I...I do lots, really I do.
But sometimes...I feel lonely.
Those times? I go online, seeking...what I don't know. Change? Friendship? New ANYTHING at all?
I've found a few interesting people here on the pajiba.com website. I keep saying what a nice place PajibaVille is, if
anyone wants to visit sometime? Have a PajiCon with me?
But mostly I just end up going to bed, alone and feeling somewhat lost...my open invitations sent out on the digital
winds of time, space, and the intangible electric dance of interacting bytes seeking a connect with them, any them, that
needs a new home. Sigh.
Still, I dare to dream. Goodnight to you, far-flung Pajibans, wherever you are...
What apparitions doth resolve here in the dark of night?
New neighbors moved in across the street!? It worked! It worked! SEE?! Be a good person, and the world will be great to you too!
I must investigate!
This guy looks like a nice person - dressed all like Mr. Rogers like he is! Says he's from CA-NA-DA...huh. Never heard of it.
He invited me inside, but Canadians must like their green and yellow guy football or something because he quickly
delivers me to this guy in the cheesy Pukka shell necklace. Name of Tracer Bullet.
I ask him if that's because he's 'too quick' and always comes first - hahahahaha! (I don't think he liked my joke).
Canadians seem to think snow and nudity is compelling. Freaky!
Here's another one! Thank god there's another woman here! She and I are gonna be besties! (unless she's Canadian too,
I'm still not sure about them)
She seems a little...anxious?
Oh - he wants to talk now....
Xtreme: 'Come here...closer. Can you feel how you make my heart beat so fast? I feel something special between us already.'
Me: 'Really? I...this is so...I'm...'
Tracer: *playah, what?*
Xtreme: 'I get a little, excited...sorry. You're lovely. Really!'
Me *Oooookaaaaaay then. Canadians.*
Tracer: *That shit ain't right. Just sayin'. Muthasucka better not cramp my game or so help me god, up-chucky canucky
[Zoom to nearby park, one Peffy Bullet sits alone at table]
Peffy: 'fucking chess.'
XTreme: 'Hey! Sorry Guy! Let's forget about all that, hey? Throw a little pigskin in a manly, big dick, sort of way, why
don't we? Wheeee!'
Peffy: *Sigh. I go out for five goddamn minutes and those two diptards let Bambie here into my house. Let's just sort this
out right now, shall we?*
Meaux: *eeep! stayyyyyying out of it...Peffy can get...moody.*
Peffy: 'Hey Skipper. Looks to me like you'd need both hands and a lightbulb to find anything of worth right
Peffy: 'Hahahaha! Rackless little bimbo. Gaze upon the CLEAVER!'
Peffy: 'Oh! BooHooHoo...So you're the sad little waste of Clairol that lured us all over to this dump of a town. Well guess what,
Thumper, Mama Peff is what you ALL got to deal with now. Now go home and cry into your facebook why don't you.'
Tracer: 'ungh....gonna...ungh...get myself so ripped...ungh...chicks be lickin' MY tits...UNGH...they gonna...they gonna...'
Tracer: 'oooh Tracer! You SO HOT TRACER! That thing scares me it's so big! Oh Yes, uh huh! SmootchySmootchy Smooo...'
Tracer: 'Aw f*ck. Peffy is right there behind me, isn't she?'
Peffy: 'You think you're a smart man, Tracer?'
Tracer: 'Uh, yeah Peffy. Sure Peffy. What you're sayin'
Peffy: 'Good. You keep in mind the overall plan, here, and stay focused. None of this screwing around on my
watch buster, or I'll Huff and I'll Puff and I'll KICK YOUR ASS IN!'
Xtreme: *♫ Let's go to the malllll, todayyy! ♪ Gonna rock my body anyway!♫*
*Yup, gonna get ripped and join the sports career. I had a fantastic time throwing that ball - I bet I can go pro! Chicks gonna be on
my JOCK! Coo-rooo-coo-coo-cooo-coo-coo-cooooooo!*
Xtreme: *Oh, wait a minute...who is this FINE looking bookish dish? I wonder if she wants to get acquainted with my Bluenose?*
Replica: 'Hey, I'm gonna head out soon. Keep an eye out for that mean lady with the giant jugs. She's up to something that one.'
Xtreme: 'Hee hee - you are SO funny. Jugs! Like milk jugs! HAhahahaha!'
Meaux: 'For some reason, this seems like the perfect meal tonight. Weenies for everyone!'
Meaux: 'Oh cooking is really relaxing! I'm sure my housemates will appreciate it too. I really want this new town to work out for us
all, especially considering our...last town and what happened there.
My buddies. They try so hard. Bless 'em.'
Xtreme: 'Heehee - I can see her crack!'
Xtreme: 'Oh sh*t. Here comes Peffy...act cool...act cool....'
Xtreme: 'So like I was saying, there's nothing like good ol' Maple Syrup, you know? Really adds to the weenie/sausage
flavor. Adds dimension...'
Peffy: *fricking Canadians.*
Tracer: *That's right. I look FIIIIINE.*
Xtreme: 'Well that sure was a lot of aerobics for one afternoon! I sure am dirty. Like, really, really dirty.'
Xtreme: 'La-da-da-deee....dee-dee-da-da-dummmm....rubber ducky...you're the one....'
(Note: I tried every angle.)
Gee, you know...despite that one chick, things are really looking...UP around here! It's probably best to get going, but I really feel like
life is finally getting interesting! Just gotta wash my mouth, like I do.
And I see the spy cameras are all in place. Yup. All systems go.
Xtreme: 'Gotta get up early to get to the stadium! Night folks!'
That's an awful lotta room under Tracer's blankie. Just sayin'.
SENT TODAY//::CONFIDENTIAL TO PEFCON-1: Baggage en route<stop>snitch suspected<stop>secure your
Peffy: 'Well Poo. Guess I better get the team in place. Time to call in some favors.'
Peffy: 'Tracer's on his way to do his thing. And it's time for ME to see an old flame. And take over that bastard's back
room. Oh well, the bookstore is the best cover. NOW OPEN UP BEHATCH! I don't care if it's nighttime and now you don't
What's Tracer doing at this broke down old warehouse exactly? It's the wee hours of the morning for gosh sakes!
I see how it is. Can I just say that this game is totally racist? I mean, the only black man is a criminal? Sheeeyit.
Tracer is now a 'Decoy'
There's Xtreme, joining the Athletic career. He's an official 'Rabid Fan'.
Ah! Pretty Meaux has joined the Science career! She's a bonafide 'Test Subject'.
Good lord. The BoPeeps have arrived.
(Imani, Geep, Jenn, Figgy)
I can see them from where I'm standing across the way - what's with the guy swanning around the flowers? He seems a
little...uh. Oh. Hot girlfriends and he's enjoying shrubbery. Sorted.
(Imani, Jenn, Geep)
This one....uh.....seems nice enough. Uh. Got a little Grace Jones thing going on, but it's working for her.
I agree, Pigtails. Girlfriend IS stacked. But she knows you're looking. Look away FAST!
(Geep, Figgy, Imani)
Jenn: 'Hey Gay Guy! We should knock boots sometime!'
Geep: 'Totally! If I ever touched those disgusting things of yours I totally would touch YOUR disgusting thing!'
Oops. I sense a loneliness to this guy. See the tear? I see the tear. Or maybe he just realized he has a house full of...atheists?
Well, I'll go say hi anyways, see what these folks are like.
He thinks I can't see him, but I know he isn't that happy to see another atheist. Sigh. I just can't catch a break with men.
Well this is going better! Thank god I studied Jive online!
Hello my sistah! Gimmie some bumps.
Jenn: 'Ohmygod so HI! It's totally great to fricking be here! I don't even know what's going on and I don't care - I go
where my gay says. So what are you about? We kinda have similar hair! It's like we could be hair sisters or something!
How totally weird - like what if we were actually sisters, or from the same town? Or Country?!'
Jenn: 'Let me tell you something, I don't mean to be totally weird or anything, but if I don't find me a few good men, I'm
totally going to go nuts, knowwhattimean? I think you do. And know what else? Those two chicks I'm here with? Total
bitches. I'd totally shank them good if it wasn't bad for business, you know?'
Jenn: 'Like, really screw up their faces and shit. Total gurners - HAHAHAHAHAHA - sorry, is this freaking you out? I come
on a bit strong, I know it. hahaha! I just noticed that we live so CLOSE to each other!'
Jenn: 'Anyways, one of these days I'm just gonna punch the crap out of them. It's gonna be SO great.'
Figgy: 'Oh hi. You came to say hi. Hi then. Glad I stopped having fun, there. Is that...do I smell...barf?'
Replica: 'Oh that? haha, thought I got it out of my hair...so sorry. Kinda gross...heh. Yeah. Yuck. This guy was so into
meeting me yesterday, I guess he kinda barfed in his excitement. Kind of a weird thing to happen.'
Replica: 'It's totally true. Guy ralphed all over, it...'
Figgy: 'Shut your stinking liars mouth, seriously. I won't be disrespected like this you know! I come from a proud country!
You come to greet me smelling like a dead goat and I am supposed to take it, you pasty scum?!'
Figgy: 'You do NOT disrespect a Chola Queen, sad girl. Nuh uh. You BEST watch your step.'
Well, Here's a refreshed Geep off looking for work in the music career. They play films here too?
Imani's off to become boss of some shit. Don't matter what.
Figgy took a job as a Produce Quality Assessor at the local Marketeria.
(She knows a thing or two about melons)
Okay...uh...let's listen in to the thought stream here:
Imani: *So all the little minions crawled out of their holes and were like, save us Imani! Only you can solve our problems,
This one keeps checking out the perimeter...I wonder if she knows the community is wired? (I do it for the safety, not the sexiness!
Skitz: *Butter patties, glass walls, haystacks and sculpture. All it needs now....is LOVE.*
Cindy really likes Snath's Fish Wrangler styled room. Hope she doesn't kick him out of it. (We've got enough bossy wenches as it is.)
Just a tiny wardrobe change and a gussy up - Skitz is going out into the neighborhood to take some...er...make some friends today!
Cindy: 'Hey, Hi, Yeah! We're here...settling in, Skitz on meds, yeah. All good so far. Hmmm? Yup - it can only go up from the last
place. I'll keep in touch.'
Skitz: '<quazdilly>Looking good! That weasel came right out with floss<danglebellynumnum>'
NOTE: Skitz seems to have some form of tourettes or something...if anyone can figure out his psychosis, let me know!
Geep: 'NEIGHBOR! HI! HELLOOOOOO! Hi! Tell me...do you like Parks?'
Skitz: 'Uh, Yo. Sure, I guess<grmbledermalYAK!!!>'
Geep: *There is a GOD!*
See? TOLD you he was religious.
Imani: 'Oh HI! I don't think you've had a chance to meet ME yet! Wow - what with all my successes and varying projects that are so
cool and interesting, I don't even know where to start! Maybe I should start at the beginning - the moment I was born a had a strong
feeling that my momma's hootchie probably just achieved it's finest moment. I was a blossom of an infant, with a gorgeous natural
Geep: *ACK! NO! MINE!*
(Imani, Geep, Skitz)
Imani: '....and by that point, the forces of good and evil BOTH wanted me on the poster, on account of my body being able to contort
into positions previously unknown...'
Geep: *Just breathe...she'll be done soon...she's a friend...I...I...*
(Cindy, Imani, Geep, Skitz)
Imani: '...and then when I realized that the President still had the tapes and the General had LOST those goats, well, I knew it was
time for a rethink. So, to continue....'
Geep: *Would you LOOK at those biceps? That chest? I think I'm gonna SWOOON! WANT! SO! BAD!*
(Imani, Geep, Skitz)
Imani: 'So...how did the part with the torpedo go again? Something about a code that I had to insert in my....'
Geep: *OMYGOD WILL THIS BITCH PULEEZE SHUT UP!!!!!*
(Imani, Geep, Skitz)
Geep: *Aw! Here's my woman Cindy to the rescue. She does a fine penis size comedy routine, that one.*
(Geep, Imani, Skitz, Cindy)
Geep: *okay, just a few more seconds while she does the demo bit...and...I'll juuuust start moving overrrr here...*
(Geep, Imani, Skitz, Cindy)
Cindy: 'Oh hey Snath! How the hell you doing?'
Snath: 'Thinking of hitting up the Bullet place. I heard some cool rumours about those guys. Wanna come with?'
(Skitz, Geep, Imani, Cindy, Snath)
Cindy: 'Hey Skitz. Looks like Geep gave you something to think about there, but get your mind back in the game. The Bullets are
some hard traffic and no mistake. You'll wanna keep your wits about you.'
Cindy: 'Just follow my lead, alright guys? Skitz? I...ew. Never mind. Snath? Stay close. This could get heatie.'
(Cindy, Xtreme, Skitz, Snath)
Snath: *I just can't wait to get inside...if the rumors are true....*
(Xtreme, Maid, Cindy, Snath)
Snath: 'It's TRUE! You keep hot sluts here! Wheeeeee! This place is a DREAM COME TRUE!!!!!'
(Xtreme, Maid, Snath)
Cindy: 'Alright frilly britches. Hit it. I won't have you warping Snath on me now. Genny? Skitz? Get in here.'
(Genny, Maid, Cindy, Skitz)
Genny: 'Uh hi there guy. Nice place ya got here! Just want you to know - I'm always around to talk to, okay? Um...do you
Xtreme: 'bubble bath. It's Sport Axe! Thanks for noticing.'
(Genny, Xtreme, Cindy)
Meaux: 'Peffy! I found him wandering in the attic...um...Peffy? <he's got the SYMBOL! On his shirt!>'
(Meaux, Skitz, Peffy)
Peffy: 'Aw, big boy. Tell Mama Peff everything....'
Skitz: 'Well, it's like this...I keep hearing voices...they....make me....do things.'
Peffy: 'That sounds just AWFUL darling...maybe Peffy can help?'
Peffy: 'I'm a firm believer in planting seeds, am I. <heh>'
(Meaux, Peffy, Skitz)
Cindy: 'see these two fingers? Care to guess where I'd stick 'em, fresh?'
Xtreme: 'Ah, okay Miss Cindy. No worries. Hands off - haha!'
Snath: 'So like I was saying, I've got a HUGE collection, but it's just not the same as having your own home set up...'
(Cindy, Xtreme, Genny, Tracer, Snath)
Cindy: 'I mean, what's the end goal here, Jocko? Macking on the ladies, badly if I may say, all the time? Marriage? Babies?'
Xtreme: 'Forget THAT action lady! There is NO WAY I'm ending up with a ball and chain! haha, no, not me!'
Skitz: 'It was unsettling <yip!> It was like she could see into my <buttmunch!> SOUL or something. She said...she said I may not be
permanently forked up after all!'
(Cindy, Xtreme, Skitz, Genny)
Snath: 'I mean, I have pictures of them where they are doing things with their mouths...ike ith onwy biggu...that would
BLOW YOUR MIND!'
Xtreme: 'Haha. Me. Settle down. Kids. Regular sex. Someone to talk to. It...it... Yeah whatever. Forget THAT!
haha. heh. sigh.'
Peffy: 'Psst - You call me up, big boy. I'll be here.'
Skitz: 'I...I just might!<monkeydong!>'
Genny: *Oh Skitz. I better keep an eye on you, poor thing.*
(Cindy, Xtreme, Peffy, Skitz, Genny)
Peffy: 'Orrrr, you could just sit in a failure puddle of your own misery, sputtering obscenities and never finding peace.
Your call, buddy.'
Guys - there is something about this symbol...I don't know what has caught hold of this Skitz guy, but it bears watching.
Snath: 'This dinner reminds me of something!'
Cindy: 'So. Skitz. What do you think you'll do for work in this new town?'
(Skitz, Genny, Cindy)
Skitz: 'I love goats. Do they have any goats here? I could be involved with the goat industry.<balzac corinthians!>'
(Skitz, Genny, Cindy)
Skitz: 'Maybe keep a low profile though, because of what happened last town.'
(Skitz, Genny, Cindy)
Skitz: 'So, I've been thinking about what you said. We do need to make some easy money. How about...'
Cindy: 'No grow op.'
Skitz: '...Ok . Back to the <midgetlickastix> drawing board then.'
(Skitz, Cindy, Genny)
Genny: 'WHO the flip put a camera THERE?'
It was a bullshit commute.
(Tamatha, Daniel Day, Admin)
Lainey and Kolby are hardly talking anymore.
I think only Jeremy Feist enjoyed traveling in such close quarters. He was seated with Admin, but I don't really want to
ask too much about the arrangement they came to. It was a four seater.
DanielDay: 'What the hell is an artistic type like me doing in a hole like PajibaVille? I'm gonna drink until I don't care
Kolby: 'Holy shit I am SO hungry! But these beats are SO funky, and I need to shake off that horrid trip!'
(DanielDay, Kolby, Admin)
Admin: 'This is how I used to shake it when I worked with this stupid chick Nomi at the Tittay Review. God we were hot!'
Admin: 'We did this thing where I started to grind...hey Kolby! I didn't know you wanted to try this!'
Kolby: 'I'm looking for something to eat...not even a goddamned peanut under there? Jesus!'
Kolby: 'Aw YEAH! The bartender is here! Jeremy - make me up something sweet and hard!'
(DanielDay, Tamatha, Kolby, Admin, Jeremy)
Admin: *hot dayum! Check it - Tamatha is burning a hole in Kolby's ass with her eyes! Woot! This new place is gonna RULE!*
(Jeremy, Kolby, Tamatha, Admin)
Aw, hey man. What's up? Just came over to say hi. It's been a rough two days though. What are you guys about, then?
I mean, you all LOOK okay...but I've been fooled before.
DanielDay: 'I uh...need something to eat, I think.'
(Tamatha, Jeremy, Admin, DanielDay)
Kolby: 'That new guy is totally hot and dreamy! Wowzers! I could just eat him up! Literally. Where the hell is the kitchen?'
Tamatha: 'shit. Kolby totally hasn't noticed me yet. pretty, pretty Kolby.'
(Tamatha, DanielDay, Kolby)
Kolby: 'OUCH!! Holy shit, ADMIN! I didn't say you could grind, pinch or poke me! Yet!'
Admin: *Aw yeah!!! Tam totally goosed Kolby! I should post this shit to that collector site!*
(Admin, Tamatha, Kolby)
Jeremy: 'Pourquoi est cela que personne n'écoute jamais le barman ? J'ai très envie d'Admin, mais ne peux pas le dire.
Admin: 'Yeah. I like that saucy little number, yes I do. *fawn eyes*'
Kolby: 'Holy Crap! I'm really freaking hungry!'
(Tamatha, Kolby, Admin)
So hi! Your name sounds a bit familiar to me! I make pictures with an emphasis on sparkles...
Admin: 'You're freaking putting me on!'
Admin: 'New favorite! I can't wait to get back to you with this idea I have okay?'
Jeremy: 'L'amour est dans l'air ... partout je me retourne...Bon Appetite Cutie!'
Lainey: 'Dreamy. er...WAFFLES! yes. Waffles, dreamy, dripping syrup, dreamily... ...'
DanielDay: '>Hormph< Must soak up booze...'
(DanielDay, Lainey, Jeremy)
Lainey: ' HHHHSSSSHHHTTTT! JEREMY FISTING FEIST! YOU ARE CHEWING TOO LOUD!!! The man needs to digest!'
Jeremy: 'She is zo funny this one!'
(DanielDay, Lainey, Jeremy)
Lainey: "ZIIIPPPT!!! I will buy you a one way ticket to the monastery if you do not SHUT. IT. NOW.'
(DanielDay, Lainey Jeremy)
So Hi! I'm sorry we got off to such a lame start. I really just want to meet a new guy, friendship first would be okay...I...I'm so lonely. I
seem to have no luck with people. haha. Sorry - I don't know why I'm telling you all this.
DanielDay: 'It's cool, I was just thinking I'd better lie down...you could come too if....'
DanielDay: >BLORT!< 'Oh...God. Sorry, I'm not feeling too good after all the booze and waffles.'
ARRGGGGHHHH!!!! For the love of Betsy PLEASE STOP PUKING ON ME!!!!
He's still cute as the dickens though. A little puke...it washes off. Maybe there's an Emetophilia collection online
somewhere...we all need to grow, yaknow?
Lainey: 'Okay. I'm a Clothes Folder now at the Day Spa. I'm just calling to find out IF THAT BLONDE BITCH IS STILL ALONE WITH
Tamatha is now a Cash Register Specialist at the Bookstore. Good thing she looks so trustworthy!
Kolby is tearing ass up to the Military complex - aaaand is now a Latrine Cleaner. Helluva job, Kolby. We salute you.
What's this? Peffy got big? Whoah, I knew she had a big personality - maybe she better take up Tracer's workouts? Look at her
schmoozing in with Tamatha! Follow the money, that's how the Peff is.
I think Tamatha sees through you Peff. You gotta figure out her weakness I think!
Here's Bobainey - how is this gonna play out in the future?
(Peffy, Tamatha, Lainey)
Admin: *There she is. The Peff. Looka them gazongas! Wait - get it together. How'm I gonna turn this situation to my liking?*
(Admin, Tamatha, Jeremy, Peffy)
Admin: 'Oh! I gotta plan! But it's gonna take timing and every bit of brains and sparkle I've got!'
(Tamatha, Lainey, Admin, Peffy)
Admin: 'First I gotta talk with that ho on the corner. She just looks right there.'
(Jenn, Tamatha, Jeremy, Peffy, Admin, Lainey)
-------------------SO THIS CONCLUDES EPISODE ONE, EVERYONE! THANKS FOR READING!!! XOXOXOXOX--------------------