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Ppt0000006

  1. 1. Mandatory Continuing Legal Education EFFECTIVE LEGAL WRITING  May 2014 BY REYNALDO U. AGRANZAMENDEZ
  2. 2. Some Suggestions On How To Improve Legal Writing
  3. 3. 1. Get to the point You must have a goal. Often, your goal is the assigned error or ground that you are raising. Omit whatever does not move toward your goal. In short, omit unnecessary preliminaries. Put the issue up front. Tell the reader what kind of case it is. By putting the context before the detail, you let the reader know what the case is all about. Explain your case in the first two or three pages. If you cannot explain the essence of the dispute in three pages, you probably have lost your first and best chance to keep the reader’s attention. Have a non-lawyer read your fact statement and see if that reader can tell you what the case is all about.
  4. 4. 2. Frame the Issue in Fewer than 75 Words The most important part of your appellate brief or memorandum is framing the issue. What is the question you are trying to answer? What do you want the court to decide? If you cannot state the issue in 75 words, you probably do not understand it very well, and neither will your reader.
  5. 5. 2. Frame the Issue in Fewer than 75 Words How to state the issue: 1.By using the words “whether,” you automatically incorporate the opposing views into one statement of that issue. 2.It should be comprehensive to cover all subordinate issue. 3.The statement of the issue must be specific and clear. Whether the law is valid is too ambiguous. A clearer statement is, Whether the Bouncing Check Law violates the constitutional right against being imprisoned for nonpayment of debt.
  6. 6. 3. State the Facts Succinctly You have already put the issue up front in 75 words or less. Then in your facts statement, you have to explain the case totally. After you have done your statement of facts, you weave them into the discussion section of your opinion – and you can add and expand there if you need to. Your first statement must give context – a roadmap. Be concise. The fewer the words, the more memorable the point.
  7. 7. 4. Avoid Overchronicling – Most Dates are Unimportant There is nothing wrong with stating the facts in chronological order. Your initial outline of the case should list all dates. But when you write your brief or memorandum, do not start every sentence with a date. Stating a date in every sentence may even confuse the reader. Unless the date is important, leave it out. Instead, tell what the case is all about. State only the material facts, and why they are important. Unless it has something to do with the timeliness of your appeal or pleading, say “in July 2010” rather than “on July 16, 2010,” or worse, “on or about the 16th day of July, 2010” – this is not an information or complaint.
  8. 8. 5. Headings are Signposts – They Should Inform Have headings that tell the reader what is it your are writing about. The heading should convey information. Simply stating “Facts” conveys nothing. It should be something like: “The market building’s demolition and its aftermath.”
  9. 9. 6. Write Short Paragraphs Short paragraphs give the reader a chance to pause and digest what has gone before. If you put three or four sentences for one information in each paragraph, that is enough. But each new piece of information should build on the old.
  10. 10. 7. Form Is Important – Make it Look Good The substance of the case is the most important, but to communicate the substance, use the best form possible. Just about the most unreadable font is Courier. The Efficient Use of Paper Rule requires size 14 of the font of your choice. Pleadings, etc. must be written in single space, with one-and-a half space between paragraphs on a 13x8.5 bond paper. A left hand margin of 1.5”; an upper margin of 1.2”; a right hand margin of 1.0”; and lower margin of 1.0”, with each page being numbered consecutively.
  11. 11. 8. Check Your Document Carefully Check every page of every brief, pleading, motion, or paper that leaves your desk. If your brief or pleading is not arranged in proper order or with some of the pages upside down – or with missing page, it breaks up the flow of your argument. Your staff may be good, but they can make mistakes.
  12. 12. 9. Keep it Short – The Page Limit is Your Friend We don’t have a rule on page limit. At least, none yet. But when writing a brief or memorandum, impose a page limit on yourself. The page limit is your friend. It requires you to write succinctly – write without wasting any word. Make every word count, and your document will be much more convincing. But there may be a complex case requiring more than twenty pages. The complexity of the case does not give you the freedom to write needlessly. You still have to impose a page limit on yourself, and strive to be concise all the time.
  13. 13. 10. Edit as carefully as you compose Remember the earlier admonition to devote 30 percent of your time on a legal-writing project to editing. Justice Brandeis lived by it. “There’s no such thing as good writing —there’s only good editing,” he said.38 This is because different skills are involved in editing than in composing. The goal of composing is to solve an intellectual problem, whereas the goal of editing is to express the writer’s preferred resolution as clearly and persuasively as possible. For success in both endeavors, it’s wise to “compose early and edit late.”39
  14. 14. HOW TO SPOT BAD CONSTRUCTION: OMIT SURPLUS (OR NEEDLESS) WORDS  In every sentence, there are two kinds of words: WORKING WORDS and GLUE WORDS.  The working words carry the meaning of the sentence. WORKING, WORDS, CARRY, MEANING, SENTENCE are the working words.  THE, THE, OF, THE are glue words.
  15. 15. Examples  A full-blown trial was requested by the defendant. There are four glue words here. (A, was, by, the)  The defendant requested a full-blown trial. Now, there are only two glue words. (The, a)
  16. 16. Examples  The ruling by the trial judge was prejudicial error for the reason that it cut off cross-examination with respect to issues that were vital. The ruling of the trial judge - the trial judge's ruling Issues that were vital - vital issues For the reason that - because With respect to – on Answer: The trial judge's ruling was prejudicial error because it cut off cross-examination on vital issues.
  17. 17. Exercise The testimony that was given by Juan went to the heart of the defense that he asserted, which was his lack of intent to kill. (25 words) Answer: Juan’s testimony went to the heart of his defense, that he had no intent to kill. (16 words)
  18. 18. AVOID COMPOUND CONSTRUCTIONS  Compound constructions (such as compound prepositions) use three or four words to do the work of one or two words.
  19. 19. AVOID COMPOUND CONSTRUCTIONS
  20. 20. AVOID COMPOUND CONSTRUCTIONS
  21. 21. AVOID COMPOUND CONSTRUCTIONS
  22. 22. AVOID COMPOUND CONSTRUCTIONS
  23. 23. AVOID COMPOUND CONSTRUCTIONS
  24. 24. AVOID REDUNDANCY, AS IN:
  25. 25. AVOID REDUNDANCY, AS IN:
  26. 26. the fact that is a surplus, as in:
  27. 27. STRIKE OUT AND REPLACE FANCY WORDS  Use efficient, instead of perficient; scrutiny, instead of perscrutation; long, instead of sesquipedal. These words may not even exist.  Say: Motion to Vacate, instead of Motion for Vacatur.
  28. 28. MAKE THE STRUCTURE SIMPLE Thus, instead of: Say: ab initio arguendo ex contractu ex delicto in haec verba inter alia from the beginning for the sake of argument in contract, contractual in tort in these words, verbatim among other things (inter alia for things; inter alios when referring to people)
  29. 29. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  Absolved (of) (from). One is absolved of financial liability, but is absolved from wrongdoing.  All of. Omit of. (All the depositions.) (All the lawyers.) Except when a pronoun follows. (All of us were deposed.)
  30. 30. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  A.M.; P.M. (or a.m.; p.m.). Use only with numbers. The program began at 2:00 p.m. (Never say, at two in the p.m.)  Anxious. Unless you’re frightened of them, you shouldn’t say you’re “anxious to see your friends.” You’re actually “eager” or "excited." To be “anxious” implies a looming fear, dread or anxiety. It doesn’t mean you’re looking forward to something pleasant.
  31. 31. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  As per. Use under. Or, if you insist, per.  As to whether. Delete as to. Whether is sufficient.
  32. 32. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  As yet. Delete as. Yet is as good, if not better.  No decision has (as) yet been reached.  Exception is at the beginning of the sentence, where yet means something different.  Yet he has not succeeded. (Yet here means “despite everything”)  As yet he has not succeeded. (Yet here means “so far”)
  33. 33. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  A while; awhile. When introduced by preposition for, spell it as two words. He rested for a while. He rested awhile.  Bimonthly/Semimonthly. Bimonthly means every two months. Semimonthly means twice a month.
  34. 34. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  Can; may. Can expresses physical ability. (He can lift 500 pounds.) May expresses permission or possibility. (The defense may now close. – permission) (The trial may end on Friday. – possibility)
  35. 35. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  Case. This word refers only to a legal case, a medical case, or a case of beer. In legal writing, avoid such phrases as: in any case (say: in any event); in case (if); in every case (always or in every instance); as is often the case (often); as the case may be (reword the idea).
  36. 36. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  Collaborate/Corroborate. Collaborate means “to work and act jointly.” The two lawyers agreed to collaborate in prosecuting the case. Corroborate means “to confirm.” The second witness will corroborate the testimony of the first witness.
  37. 37. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  Compare (with) (to). Compare with means to place side by side, noting differences and similarities between the things being compared. Compare to means to observe or point only to similarities.  Consensus. Consensus of opinion or general consensus is redundant  Cope. An intransitive verb used with with, as in cope with. Cope up with is ungrammatical.
  38. 38. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  Complement/Compliment. Complement is something that fills up or complete. “A cake is a complement to any meal.” Compliment is an expression of praise. “He complimented her new hair style.”
  39. 39. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  Comprehensible/Comprehensive. Comprehensible means able to be understood. Although the law contains foreign words, it is comprehensible. Comprehensive means to include all, or covering a wide range. The comprehensive study of law leads to a well-prepared lawyer.
  40. 40. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  Consider as. When followed by a noun or a noun phrase, omit as. We consider him a brilliant lawyer. Poor construction: We consider him as a brilliant lawyer.  Counsel. The verb “to counsel” means “to advise.” And counsel as noun means “advice or consultation.” Counsel can also mean the lawyer who represents clients in litigation. When used to mean lawyer, the plural is also counsel [no s]. Several prominent counsel are present. (The Right Word at the Right Time, pp. 161-162)
  41. 41. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED • Damage; damages. Damage is loss, injury. Damages means monetary compensation for loss or damage.
  42. 42. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  Differ from/Differ with. “Differ from” applies to differences between one thing or person from others. My phone differs from her phone because it is touch screen. “Differ with” means to have a difference in opinion. His understanding of the law differs with mine.
  43. 43. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  Disinterested/Uninterested. Disinterested means “impartial, not swayed by personal consideration.” Thus, disinterested is lack of self-interest; while uninterested is lack of all interest. The disinterested judge listens in an unbiased way to the evidence of both sides. The uninterested judge falls asleep while the trial is in progress.
  44. 44. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  Doubtless. This is the correct adverb. Doubtlessly is wrong.  Due to (in the sense of because). It should follow the verb to be. His absence was due to illness. He was absent because of illness.  Each and every one. Every one is sufficient. It should be a lesson to (each and) every one of us.
  45. 45. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  Enclosed please find. Say: I have enclosed. Or, Enclosed is.
  46. 46. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  Enjoin. It may be used in two opposite senses: (1) to direct, mandate; (2) to prohibit. In sense (1), enjoin takes the preposition to; in sense (2), it takes the preposition from.  Evidentiary. This is the customary word, not evidential.
  47. 47. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  Et al. It is short for et alii (or et aliae, the feminine form); a Latin phrase meaning “and others” or “and other people.” Its use is limited to human beings. When the list is nonhuman items, the appropriate term is etc. But never say, and etc. (Etc. is the abbreviation of etcetera, meaning and other things. Thus, and etc. is repetitious.)
  48. 48. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  Expiry; Expiration. The verb “to expire” has three main meanings: a) to come to an end; b) to breathe out; c) to die.
  49. 49. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED 1) to come to an end; 2) to breathe out; 3) to die Both expiry and expiration can be used for the first meaning (and, though rarely, for the third), but only expiration for the second. Thus, you may use expiry or expiration when you refer to the end of a contract, although there may be a slight difference. Expiry suggests a rather more automatic, long-planned, impersonal termination than expiration. The expiry of a lease; the expiry date.
  50. 50. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  Explicit; implicit. Explicit means expressed directly or precisely. Implicit means expressed indirectly or impliedly.
  51. 51. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  Fewer/Less. “Less” is reserved for hypothetical quantities. “Few” and “fewer” are for things you can quantify. The firm has fewer than ten employees. The firm is less successful now that we have only ten employees.
  52. 52. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  Forego; forgo. The first means “to go before”; the second means “to do without, to pass up”.  Former/Latter. These words should be avoided because they force the reader to refer back to what he has already read. But if you want to use them, be reminded of the following rules: (a) they must be used with reference to two similar items; (b) do not use latter when only one object is under consideration; and (c) do not use the former or the latter if three or more items are under consideration. If three or more items are under consideration, use the first and the last.
  53. 53. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  Hale, hail.  Juan was haled to court on a charge of homicide.  His acquittal was hailed as triumph of justice.
  54. 54. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  Hanged; hung. Criminals are hanged. Pictures are hung. (But hang is the present tense of hung.)  If and when. Use whichever word you mean, but not both.  Impact (on). Avoid using impact as a verb. Use affect or influence. Don’t say: Plaintiff’s argument strongly impacted on the court’s decision.
  55. 55. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  Impactful. It isn't a word. "Impact" can be used as a noun (e.g., The impact of the crash was severe).  Incredible/Incredulous. Incredible means unbelievable; a story, thing, or person that cannot be believed. The witness gave an incredible testimony. Incredulous means a person who is skeptical, unwilling to believe. The judge looked incredulous when he heard defendant’s testimony.
  56. 56. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  Indoor; indoors. Indoor is adjective (indoor fireworks). Indoors is adverb (stay indoors). Outdoor is adjective; Outdoors is adverb.  In the case of. Instead of in the case of Neypes v. CA, say in Neypes v. CA.
  57. 57. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  In order to. Write to.  In regard to. Often wrongly written in regards to. But as regards is correct, and it means the same thing. They all mean “concerning.”
  58. 58. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  With regard to (concerning). Take care not to add s. With regards to is wrong. To have regard to (to take into account) To have regard for (to show consideration for) Without regard to (without taking into account) Give one’s regards to (to greet) Kind regards (used when ending a letter)
  59. 59. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  Informant; informer. These two words are sometimes used interchangeably. The verb “to inform” can mean either “to tell” or “to provide incriminating information.” Informant is linked to the first meaning (to tell); informer can be linked to the second (to provide incriminating information).
  60. 60. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  Inside (of). Omit of. Outside (of), omit also of. Inside the house. Outside the house. Never say: He is inside of (outside of) the house.  But if used to mean “in less than”, then use inside of. Inside of ten minutes, I’ll be inside the house.
  61. 61. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  In spite of/Despite. In spite of means in opposition to all efforts of; notwithstanding. We held the picnic in spite of the rain. Despite means the same, but is written or spoken as: Despite the rain, we held the picnic. Despite also means extreme malice; contemptuous hate; or act of spite or contempt. His voice is full of despite.  Irregardless. Should be regardless. But, irrespective (which means regardless) is correct.
  62. 62. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  It’s; its. Don’t write it’s for its. The first is a contraction, meaning “it is.” The second is a possessive.  Judicial/Judicious. Judicial refers to legal proceedings – the courts, judges, and judgments. a judicial settlement. Judicious means “having or showing sound judgment; prudent and wise.” a judicious choice.
  63. 63. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  Juncture. As in, at this juncture. It refers to a crisis or a critically important time. Use at this time.  Kind of; Sort of; Type of. Never use a or an after these expressions. Kind of a pistol is wrong. Say, kind of pistol. Variety of an apple is confusing because an is used for one particular member of a class. Variety of apple is correct.
  64. 64. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  Legal; Lawful; Legitimate. These three words have the same basic meaning of “authorized by, or recognized by, or conforming with the law or regulations” as in: a perfectly legal (or lawful, or legitimate) move in chess. From this common meaning, they begin to differ because: lawful is often used in reference to moral or divine law (Is it lawful for a Christian to take up arms in the cause of liberty?); legal has the general sense of “concerning or relating to lawyers and the law” (the legal profession; legal documents; legal advice); legitimate may be used in several senses that legal and lawful may not be used (a legitimate child).
  65. 65. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  Medium. Plural is media. But when used to denote spiritualists or clairvoyants, its plural is mediums.  This kind or these kinds. Not these kind.  Myself. As reflexive: I recuse myself. I should not incriminate myself. As intensive: I myself will sue you. I will do it myself. Do not use myself as substitute for I or me.
  66. 66. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  People/Persons. The first is general, the second specific.  Plaintiff/Plaintive. Don’t confuse and misspell these two words. The noun plaintiff refers to the person or entity that brings legal action in court. His opponent is the defendant. Plaintive is an adjective, meaning “sounding sad or expressing sorrow, mournful.  Plead. The past tense is pleaded. Pled, as past tense, is old English.
  67. 67. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  Presently/At present. Presently has two meanings: “in a short while” and “currently.” Because of this ambiguity, it is best restricted to the first meaning. The judge will be here presently. The students are waiting for their test results, which will be posted presently. At present means now, happening currently. At present, he is in his office.
  68. 68. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  Provided that. The that can be omitted. You can go provided (that) you return before midnight.  Refer back. Refer is sufficient. Refer back is a redundancy.  Remand back. Omit back.
  69. 69. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  Request. As a noun, request is followed by for. His request for wage increase was turned down. As a verb, request is not followed by for; and it has two possible constructions. (1) You can request something of or from somebody. They requested help from the authorities. (2) You can request somebody to do something. They requested the authorities to help them. But, to ask is followed by for.
  70. 70. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  Since/Because. “Since” refers to time. “Because” refers to causation. Since I quit drinking I’ve married and had two children. Because I quit drinking I no longer wake up in my own vomit.
  71. 71. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  Said. This word should be avoided when used merely to displace the, that, this, or any pointing word.  Same. It should also be avoided as a substitute for a pronoun.  Sanction. This verb is ambiguous because it may mean (1) to approve (to sanction her conduct); or (2) to penalize (to sanction defendant’s counsel for his dilatory tactics).
  72. 72. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  That/Which. That and which are not interchangeable. Lawyers often use “which” when they should use “that.” “That” is appropriate in restrictive clauses, e.g., “Neypes v. Court of Appeals is the case that we discussed in class today.” The restrictive clause “that we discussed in class today” is essential to the sentence. “Which” is appropriate in nonrestrictive clauses, e.g., “Neypes v. Court of Appeals, which we discussed in class today, establishes the fresh 15-day period rule.” The nonrestrictive clause “which we discussed in class today” adds extra meaning to the sentence but is not essential. It is set off by commas, which should be your hint to use “which” instead of “that.”
  73. 73. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  Through/Thru. In formal composition, thru should not be used as a substitute for the word through.
  74. 74. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  Unique. The word “unique” means “without equal”. There can be no degree of uniqueness. Therefore, never say “most unique” or “very unique.”  Verbal; oral. The first is broader than the second. What is spoken is oral. What is written and spoken are verbal because they are both expressed in words.
  75. 75. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  Where. Use “where” for location only. Lawyers are fond of writing sentences such as the following: “Where the employee was off on a frolic at the time of the accident, respondeat superior does not apply.” This is incorrect because “where” should refer to location only. The following sentence uses “where” correctly. “The employer did not know where the employee went on his lunch hour.” Typically, you can replace “where” with “when” or “if” to express an idea other than location.
  76. 76. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  Whether/If. Many writers seem to assume that “whether” is interchangeable with “if." Well, they are not. “Whether” expresses a condition where there are two or more alternatives. Usually, whether may be used without or not. “If” expresses a condition where there are no alternatives. I don’t know whether I’ll get drunk tonight. I can get drunk tonight if I have money for beer.
  77. 77. WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS CONFUSED AND MISUSED  Willful; wilful. Willful preferred in American English; Wilful in British English. Willfull is a misspelling.  Within. To refer to the within memorandum is to be guilty of legaldegook. Write the enclosed memorandum.
  78. 78. FOCUS ON THE ACTOR, THE ACTION, AND THE OBJECT  Focus on WHO IS DOING WHAT TO WHOM - the actor, the action, and the object of the action.  It is possible for the court to modify the judgment. (The court can modify the judgment.)  It is obvious that the summons was not properly served. (Obviously the summons was not properly served.)
  79. 79. FOCUS ON THE ACTOR, THE ACTION, AND THE OBJECT  There were no reasons offered by the court for denying exemplary damages. (The court offered no reasons for denying exemplary damages.)  Be alert when you find a sentence or clause that begins with IT or THERE, followed by a form of the verb to be. Does the IT or THERE refer to something specific? If not, you may be wasting words.
  80. 80. DO NOT USE REDUNDANT LEGAL PHRASES  Null and void is a lawyer's tautology - a needless string of words with the same or nearly the same meaning.
  81. 81. DO NOT USE REDUNDANT LEGAL PHRASES
  82. 82. DO NOT USE REDUNDANT LEGAL PHRASES
  83. 83. DO NOT USE REDUNDANT LEGAL PHRASES
  84. 84. USE THE ACTIVE VOICE  a) Active Voice is more forceful and concise  b) Active Voice is more definite
  85. 85. Examples  When you use a verb in the active voice, the subject of the sentence acts. The union filed a complaint. (The subject is the union, the active verb is filed.)  When you use a verb in the passive voice, the subject of the sentence is acted upon. A complaint was filed by the union. (The subject is complaint, and the passive verb is was filed.)
  86. 86. Examples  The passive voice has two disadvantages: (a) it takes more words; (b) it is ambiguous. John kicked the ball. Active voice The ball was kicked by John. Passive voice The ball was kicked. Truncated passive  "It has been determined that you do not qualify for benefits under this program." This is very troublesome. Who determined it?
  87. 87. Proper uses for passive voice: 1. When the thing done is important, and the one who did it is not. Meaning, you want to focus on something other than the actor. The accused was found guilty of homicide. The subpoena was served on July 16. The accused was brought to the city jail. (No reason to mention who brought the accused to the city jail.)
  88. 88. Proper uses for passive voice: 2) When the purpose is to place strong element at the end of the sentence for emphasis. When he walked through the door, he was shot. 3) When abstraction is appropriate. All men are created equal.
  89. 89. Exercises: Rewrite these sentences, omitting surplus words and using the active voice. Original: This agreement may be terminated by either party by thirty days notice being given to the other party. This agreement may be terminated by either party by thirty days notice being given to the other party. Suggested: Either party may terminate this agreement by giving thirty days notice to the other party.
  90. 90. Exercises: Rewrite these sentences, omitting surplus words and using the active voice. Original: It was insisted by the supplier that the goods were of merchantable quality. Suggested: The supplier insisted that the goods were of merchantable quality.
  91. 91. USE SHORT SENTENCES  Long sentences are hard to understand. The rules are: 1) In most sentences, put only one main thought. 2) Keep the average sentence length below twenty-five words.  The first rule does not say that every sentence should contain only one main thought. The second rule does not say that every sentence should be twenty-five words or less. You need an occasional longer sentence in which two or more closely related thoughts are joined.
  92. 92. ARRANGE YOUR WORDS WITH CARE  Avoid Wide Gaps Between the Subject, the Verb, and the Object; Smaller gaps between subject and verb can be closed by moving the intervening words to the beginning or the end of the sentence.  Gap: This agreement, unless revocation has occurred at an earlier date, shall expire on July 16, 2014.  Gap Closed: Unless sooner revoked, this agreement shall expire on July 16, 2014.  You may close the gap by beginning the sentence not with the subject, but with the subordinate clause like in the example above.
  93. 93. ARRANGE YOUR WORDS WITH CARE  Another example:  Instead of: The court, in the course of the hearing, noted that the accident had occurred in La Trinidad.  Write: In the course of the hearing, the court noted that the accident had occurred in La Trinidad.
  94. 94. ARRANGE YOUR WORDS WITH CARE  Or, you may also put it at the end of the sentence:  Gap: The defendant, in addition to having to pay exemplary damages, may be liable for plaintiff's costs and attorney's fees.  Gap Closed: The defendant may have to pay plaintiff's cost and attorney's fees, in addition to exemplary damages.
  95. 95. ARRANGE YOUR WORDS WITH CARE  The problems is the same when the gap comes between the verb and the object.  Gap: The proposed statute gives to any person who suffers financial injury by reason of discrimination based on race, religion, sex, or physical handicap a cause of action for damages.  Gap Closed: The proposed statute gives a cause of action for damages to any person who suffers financial injury because of discrimination based on race, religion, sex, or physical handicap.
  96. 96. B) Avoid Nested Modifiers Example of nested modifiers: Defendant, who was driving a flatbed truck that was laden with a tangle of old furniture some of which was not tied down securely, stopped without warning. Defendant {who was driving a flatbed truck [that was laden with a tangle of old furniture (some of which was not tied down securely, stopped without warning)]}.
  97. 97. Exercise: Rewrite this sentence without the nested modifiers. As you rewrite, omit surplus words. Ex. Appellant, which was represented in this case by XYZ Law Firm, counsel of long experience in government contract litigation, a field that requires no small degree of expertise, must have recognized the weakness of his claim. Answers: Appellant must have recognized the weakness of his claim. It was represented by XYZ Law Firm, counsel of long experience in government contract litigation, a field that requires no small degree of expertise.
  98. 98. Tabulate  When necessary, tabulate. A long and complicated sentence may benefit from tabulation.  You can qualify for benefits under Section 1 if you are sixty-five or older and unable to work, and that section also provides benefits in the event that you are blind in one eye, or both eyes, or are permanently disabled in the course of your employment.
  99. 99. Example  You can qualify for benefits under Section 1 if you meet any one of the following conditions: 1) You are 65 or older and are unable to work; or 2) You are blind in one or both eyes; or 3) You are permanently disabled in the course of your employment.
  100. 100. Rules 1) Each item in the list must be of the same class. Don't make a list like this: a) bread; b) eggs; c) Attorney XYZ.
  101. 101. PUT MODIFYING WORDS CLOSE TO WHAT THEY MODIFY  1) Beware of "squinting" modifier - one that sits mid-sentence and can be read to modify either what precedes it or what follows it. A trustee who steals dividends often cannot be punished. Does often modify steals or does it modify cannot be punished?  The word only is a notorious troublemaker. To keep only under control, put it immediately before the word you want it to modify. If it still creates ambiguity in that position, try to isolate it at the beginning or ending of the sentence.
  102. 102.  Ambiguous: Lessee shall use the vessel only for recreation.  Clear: Lessee shall use the vessel for recreation only.  Ambiguous: Shares are sold to the public only by the parent corporation.  Clear: Only the parent corporation sells shares to the public.
  103. 103. Exercises: Rewrite these sentences to solve the modifier problems. If a sentence has more than one possible meaning, select whichever one you wish and rewrite the sentence to express that meaning unambiguously. Example: Being ignorant of the law, the attorney argued that his client should receive a light sentence. Answer: The attorney argued that his client, being ignorant of the law, should receive a light sentence.
  104. 104. Exercises: Rewrite these sentences to solve the modifier problems. If a sentence has more than one possible meaning, select whichever one you wish and rewrite the sentence to express that meaning unambiguously. Example: Defendant’s argument overlooks an amendment to the statute which was enacted in 1990. Answer: Defendant’s argument overlooks a 1990 amendment to the statute.
  105. 105. Exercises: Rewrite these sentences to solve the modifier problems. If a sentence has more than one possible meaning, select whichever one you wish and rewrite the sentence to express that meaning unambiguously. Example: Under Article 2208 of the Civil Code, attorney’s fees only can be awarded when the claim is brought without good faith. Answer: Only when the claim is brought without good faith can attorney’s fees be awarded under Article 2208 of the Civil Code.
  106. 106. Exercises: Rewrite these sentences to solve the modifier problems. If a sentence has more than one possible meaning, select whichever one you wish and rewrite the sentence to express that meaning unambiguously. Example: Apparently this special tax provision was intended to encourage the production of tobacco in the eyes of Congress. Answer: This special tax provision was apparently intended, in the eyes of Congress, to encourage the production of tobacco.
  107. 107. AVOID MISPLACED OR DANGLING MODIFIER A modifier clarifies a word not clearly stated in the sentence. When a modifier is misplaced or dangling, the meaning changes because the modifier describes the wrong thing. Gnawing on its bone, the man scolded the dog. (The sentence says that the man is doing the gnawing.) The man scolded the dog, gnawing on its bone.
  108. 108. AVOID MISPLACED OR DANGLING MODIFIER Watching the river, the doll was spotted by Juan floating near the bank. (A neat trick for a doll, to watch the river and float in it simultaneously.) While watching the river, Juan spotted the doll floating near the bank.
  109. 109. 1st RULE: Place a single-word modifier near the word or phrases that it modifies. Poor: He almost ate all the food at the party. Better: He ate almost all the food at the party. Poor: The judge can understand the Ilocano spoken by the witness easily. Better: The judge could easily understand the Ilocano spoken by the witness.
  110. 110. 2nd Rule: Place the modifying phrase or clause closest to the word that it modifies. Poor: I heard that my wife planned to throw a birthday party for me while I was outside her office. Better: While I was outside her office, I heard that my wife planned to throw a birthday party for me.
  111. 111. 3rd Rule: Name the doer to eliminate a dangling modifier. Poor: Having finished washing the dishes, the door was closed. Better: Having finished washing the dishes, Juan closed the door.
  112. 112. Rewrite the following: Example: Finding no error, the judgment of the trial court was affirmed. Answer: Finding no error, the appellate court affirmed the judgment of the trial court.
  113. 113. Rewrite the following: Example: Applying those principles to the facts of this case, it is clear that plaintiffs cannot recover. Answer: If we apply those principles to the facts of this case, plaintiffs cannot recover.)
  114. 114. Rewrite the following: Example: Finding the motion to be without merit, the same is hereby denied. Answer: Finding no merit, this court denies the motion.
  115. 115. USE BASE VERBS, NOT NOMINALIZATION If you use nominalizations instead of base verbs, surplus words begin to swarm like flies. You must reject nominalizations. This is another way to eliminate surplus words. Shun the temptation to turn verbs into nouns, thereby creating “nominalizations.”
  116. 116. USE BASE VERBS, NOT NOMINALIZATION Act - not “take action” Assume - not “make assumptions” Decide - not “make a decision” “Please state why you object to the question,” comes out like this: “Please make a statement of why you are interposing an objection to the question.”
  117. 117. EXERCISES Ex. Article 2208 of the Civil Code has pertinence to any contract that makes provision for attorney’s fees. Answer: Article 2208 of the Civil Code pertains to any contract that provides for attorney’s fees.
  118. 118. EXERCISES Ex. Commencement of discovery is not dependent on the judge’s consideration of the motion. Answer: Discovery can commence before the judge considers the motion.
  119. 119. EXERCISES Ex. We are in agreement with your position, but if it is your intention to cause delay, we will stand in opposition to you. Answer: We agree with your position, but if you intend to cause delay, we will oppose you.
  120. 120. EXERCISES Ex. If there is a continuation of this breach, my client will effect an immediate termination of the contract. Answer: If this breach continues, my client will terminate the contract immediately.
  121. 121. EXERCISES Ex. Fulfillment of the testator’s wishes is an impossibility unless this court orders an invalidation of the inter vivos transfer. Answer: This court cannot fulfill the testator’s wishes unless it invalidates the inter vivos transfer.
  122. 122. EXERCISES Ex. Cooperation with you is our sincere desire, and we hope you are willing to undertake serious reconsideration of your position. Your refusal to do so, and your failure to accomplish the completion of the work on schedule, would cause us to commence impoundment of your funds. This court cannot fulfill the testator’s wishes unless it invalidates the inter vivos transfer. A. We seek to cooperate with you, and we hope that you will change your position. If you refuse to do so, and if you do not complete the work on schedule, we will impound your funds.
  123. 123. DO NOT USE LAWYERISM Lawyerisms are words like aforementioned, above-mentioned, said, aforesaid, whereas, and hereinafter. Use ordinary words. No lawyer in a dinner table conversation will say: “The food is excellent; please pass the said food.”
  124. 124. DO NOT USE LAWYERISM Yet legal pleadings usually come out like this: The object of said conspiracy among said defendants was to fix said retail prices of said products. “once the said document was falsified, said accused encashed the said LBP check …” (Pondevida v. Sandiganbayan, G.R. Nos. 160929-31, Aug. 16, 2005)
  125. 125. AVOID SHOTGUNNING When lawyers want to be precise, they often use the shotgun approach – they take rough aim and let go a blast of words, hoping that at least one of them might hit the target.
  126. 126. EXERCISES Every person who overdrives, overloads, drives when overloaded, overworks, tortures, torments, deprives of necessary sustenance, drink, or shelter, cruelly beats, mutilates, or cruelly kills any animal, or causes or procures any animal to be so overdriven, overloaded, overworked, tortured, tormented, deprived of necessary sustenance, drink or shelter, or to be cruelly beaten, mutilated, or cruelly killed is guilty of animal abuse.
  127. 127. Remedy for shotgunning: Use a dictionary to find a single word that will adequately express the intended meaning. In the example, the verb “abuse” could replace all the ten-verb shotgun blast.
  128. 128. Exercises: When you rewrite these passages, pay special attention to your choice of words: Ex. All advance payments of rentals made hereunder shall be binding on any direct or indirect assignee, grantee, devisee, administrator, executor, heir, or successor to the lessor. Answer: All advance payments of rent under this lease will be binding on the lessor’s successors.
  129. 129. Exercises: When you rewrite these passages, pay special attention to your choice of words: Ex. Tenant has not at any time heretofore made, done, committed, executed, permitted or suffered any act, deed, matter or thing whatsoever, whereby or wherewith, or by reason or means whereof the said lands and premises hereby assigned and surrendered, or any part or parcel thereof are, or is, or may, can or shall be in anywise impeached, charged, affected or encumbered. Answer: Tenant has done nothing which would give anyone a claim against the leased premises.
  130. 130. Exercises: When you rewrite these passages, pay special attention to your choice of words: Ex. It shall be and hereby declared to be unlawful for any person or persons to expel, discharge, or expectorate any mucus, spittle, saliva or other such substance from the mouth of the said person or persons in or on or onto any public sidewalk, street, highway, boulevard, thoroughfare, building, terminal, theatre, railway train, street car, bus, trolley, ferryboat, steamer, boat, taxicab, jeepney or conveyance, or in or on or onto any public place of whatsoever kind or description, and any person or persons who do so expel, discharge, or expectorate any such substance as defined above at any place herein delineated shall be guilty of a misdemeanor. Answer: It is a misdemeanor for any person to spit in a public place. (Or: Any person who spits in a public place is guilty of misdemeanor.)
  131. 131. AVOID SPLITTING AN INFINITIVE An infinitive is the tenseless form of a verb preceded by to. Examples: to reverse or to modify. You split the infinitive when you place one or more words between to and the verb. Examples: to summarily reverse; to unwisely modify.
  132. 132. AVOID SPLITTING AN INFINITIVE Poor: It is not necessary to here enlarge upon this point. Better: It is not necessary here to enlarge upon this point. Or: It is not necessary to enlarge upon this point here.
  133. 133. AVOID SPLITTING AN INFINITIVE Readers are distracted when they see an infinitive split improperly. Therefore, do not split an infinitive unless doing so will avoid an ambiguity or a clumsy expression.
  134. 134. AVOID SPLITTING AN INFINITIVE There may be some justified splits, as in: The appellant failed to timely file his notice of appeal.
  135. 135. AVOID SPLITTING AN INFINITIVE Putting the adverb before the infinitive as an antisplitting method spoils the sentence: The teacher says that it is now right actively to encourage legal research. Rewrite: The teacher says that it is now right to actively encourage legal research.
  136. 136. AVOID MULTIPLE NEGATIVES Double negatives are not limited to sentences such as: “You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.” Double negatives may sound good (e.g. “not unlike;” “Isn’t that not so?”), but they can be confusing, so you should avoid them in legal writing. Therefore, beware of sentences that contain more than one negative expression. “It shall be unlawful to fail to …” is an example of double negative. The grammar is proper, but the construction is distracting – it makes the reader’s mind flip from yes to no to yes.
  137. 137. AVOID MULTIPLE NEGATIVES Aside from ordinary negative words and prefixes (such as not, un-, and non-), many other words operate negatively: (terminate, avoid, denial, except, unless, and other than).
  138. 138. Exercises: When you rewrite these passages, tabulate if necessary No rate agreement shall qualify under Section 2(a) unless not fewer than thirty days notice is given to all customers, and unless said rate agreement has been published, provided however, that the publication requirement shall not apply to emergency rates; and until said rate agreement has been approved by the Commission.
  139. 139. Answer To qualify under Section 2(a), a rate agreement must meet all these three conditions: a)All customers must receive at least thirty days notice of it; and b)It must be published (but emergency rates do not have to be published); and c)It must be approved by the Commission.
  140. 140. AVOID SEXIST LANGUAGE
  141. 141. Here are some suggestions to avoid sexist language 1) Don’t use expressions that imply value judgments based on sex. (For example, a manly effort, or a member of the gentle sex or a member of the opposite sex.) 2) Use sex-neutral terms if you can do so without artificiality. (For example, use workers instead of workmen and reasonable person instead of reasonable man.) But don’t concoct artificial terms like waitpersons to refer to servers in a restaurant. But waitress is the feminine gender of waiter. 3) Use parallel construction when you are referring to both sexes. (For example, husbands and wives, not men and their wives.)
  142. 142. Here are some suggestions to avoid sexist language 4) Don’t use sex-based pronouns when the referent may be of the opposite sex. For instance, don’t use he every time you refer to judges. And don’t use she either. The phrase he or she is clumsy, and you must avoid it. Some rules to follow: a) Omit the pronoun. For example, instead “the average citizen enjoys his time doing community work,” you can say “the average citizen enjoys doing community work.” b) Use the second person instead of the third person. Instead of “each student must think for herself,” say, “as a student, you must think for yourself.
  143. 143. Here are some suggestions to avoid sexist language c)Use the plural instead of the singular. Instead of “each student believes he has done something worthwhile,” say “all students believe they have done something worthwhile.” d)Repeat the noun instead of using a pronoun. For example, “a student’s vote should reflect her own opinion,” may be written “a student’s vote should reflect that student’s own opinion.”
  144. 144. AVOID SEXIST LANGUAGE Don’t use slash. Avoid: him/her; he/she; s/he. Also avoid and/or.
  145. 145. Exercises: Rewrite the following passages to eliminate sexist language Ex. Even the most honest witness will embellish his story unless you are in control of him at every moment of his questioning. Answer: Even the most honest witness will embellish the story unless you are in control at every moment of the questioning.
  146. 146. Exercises: Rewrite the following passages to eliminate sexist language Ex. Every trial lawyer must develop his own ways to deal with the witness who gives nonresponsive answers to his questions. Answer: As a trial lawyer, you must develop your own ways to deal with the witness who gives nonresponsive answers to your questions.
  147. 147. Exercises: Rewrite the following passages to eliminate sexist language Ex. Each witness must be cautioned before giving her testimony that she is to listen to the question carefully and that she is to answer only the questions that have been asked. Answer: All witnesses must be cautioned before giving their testimony that they are to listen to the question carefully and that they are to answer only the questions that have been asked.
  148. 148. Use connectives for transitions between sentences and paragraphs It is necessary to link sentences (and paragraphs) together by means of connective devices that make the narrative flow easily and logically from one part of your document to the next. There are explicit connectives, namely, words and phrases that exist chiefly to facilitate transitions between sentences and paragraphs. These words and the circumstances to which they apply are listed below:
  149. 149. Use connectives for transitions between sentences and paragraphs a. When adding a point: and, also, besides, similarly, nor, likewise, too, moreover, furthermore. b. When giving an example: for instance, for example, likewise, another. c. When restating: in other words, that is, this means, in short, put another way, again. d. When introducing a cause: because, since, when.
  150. 150. Use connectives for transitions between sentences and paragraphs e. When introducing a result: so, as a result, thus, therefore, accordingly, then, hence. f. When contrasting: but, instead, yet, however, on the one hand, on the other hand, still, nevertheless, nonetheless, conversely, on the contrary, whereas, despite. g. When conceding or qualifying: granted, of course, to be sure, admittedly, though, even though, although, even if.
  151. 151. Use connectives for transitions between sentences and paragraphs h. When pressing a point: in fact, indeed, of course, moreover. i. When explaining a sentence: that is, then, earlier, previously, meanwhile, simultaneously, now, until now, no sooner, eventually, finally, in the end; and j. When summing up: so, thus, consequently, accordingly, therefore.
  152. 152. Use connectives for transitions between sentences and paragraphs When sequencing ideas: First, … Second, … Third, ... Finally, … (not Firstly, Secondly, Thirdly) Explicit connectives are not the only means of linking sentences and paragraphs. Another linking device is the pointing words, which include this, that, these, those, and the. (Don’t use “said” or “same” as pointing word.) Sec. 8, Rule 130. “copy”
  153. 153. Number of the Noun Subject controls the Verb form Simple rule: Plural subjects take plural verbs, singular subject takes singular verb. Section 3, Rule 130. “When the subject of inquiry is the contents of a document, no evidence shall be admissible other than the original document itself …”
  154. 154. Number of the Noun Subject controls the Verb form 1. Some problems in subject-verb agreement: Fish can be singular or plural despite its singular form. Thus, it has two plural forms: fish and fishes. Fish is widely used, though. (I eat fish. She bought three fish.) Fishes is used in technical writing, usually to emphasize individual fish or species of fish. (Salmon and trout are both food fishes.) News is always singular despite its plural form.
  155. 155. Number of the Noun Subject controls the Verb form 2. Trousers, tongs, wages, tactics, pliers, scissors, odds, and barracks are plural in meaning; hence, they require a plural verb. 3. Billiards, news, mathematics, linguistics, mumps, and measles are singular in meaning; therefore, they require a singular verb.
  156. 156. Number of the Noun Subject controls the Verb form 4. There are nouns in the plural form which can be both singular and plural. Examples: politics and statistics. Politics has always attracted persons of talent. The politics of the situation are complicated. Answer: Statistics is a dry subject. The statistics were largely erroneous.
  157. 157. Number of the Noun Subject controls the Verb form 5. Some nouns specifying an amount are singular when the things or people involved are regarded as a unit. They take a singular verb. Five plus five is ten. Ten pounds of grapes is a lot. Ten percent of their capital has been absorbed already. But, say: Ten percent of the men drafted are over twenty. (Here, the men are regarded as individuals, not as a unit.)
  158. 158. Number of the Noun Subject controls the Verb form 6. Collective nouns are usually singular but can be plural. If the collective is regarded as a unit, the collective noun is singular and requires a singular verb. The orchestra performs well under any conductor. The family is coming over this afternoon. But, you say: The family were informed as soon as they were reached by phone. (Here, the members of the collective are considered individually; hence, the collective noun is plural and requires a plural verb.
  159. 159. Number of the Noun Subject controls the Verb form 7. A compound subject joined by "and" is plural and requires a plural verb. The lawyer and his wife were warmly received. Exceptions: When the parts of the subject form a single idea or refer to a single person or thing, then they take a singular verb.
  160. 160. Number of the Noun Subject controls the Verb form A scholar and a gentleman is what he strives to be. (Here, the compound subject refers to just one person or thing. Therefore, the verb is singular.) The health and education of the children is the concern of the club. (The two qualities seem so close that the singular verb form is used.)
  161. 161. Number of the Noun Subject controls the Verb form A scholar and a gentleman is what he strives to be. (Here, the compound subject refers to just one person or thing. Therefore, the verb is singular.) The health and education of the children is the concern of the club. (The two qualities seem so close that the singular verb form is used. The winner and new champion was in school.
  162. 162. Number of the Noun Subject controls the Verb form 8. Also, certain compounds, often clichés, are so inseparable they are considered a unit and so take a singular verb: The long and short of it is … Bread and butter was all she had for dinner. Give and take is essential to a happy marriage. Every window, picture, and mirror was smashed.
  163. 163. Number of the Noun Subject controls the Verb form 9. A singular verb remains singular even if other nouns are connected to it by with, as well as, in addition to, except, together with, and no less than. Atty. Juan, together with his client, is attending the hearing.
  164. 164. Number of the Noun Subject controls the Verb form 10.Words that intervene between subject and verb do not affect the number of the verb: The bittersweet flavor of youth – its trials, its joys, its adventures, its challenges – is not soon forgotten.
  165. 165. Number of the Noun Subject controls the Verb form 11.Although both subjects are important, neither keeps me awake. Thus, when a compound subject is preceded by the adjective each or every, then the verb is usually singular.
  166. 166. Number of the Noun Subject controls the Verb form At customs, every box, bag, and parcel is inspected. Each man, woman, and child has a right to be heard. But when a compound subject is followed by each, the verb is plural. The man and the woman each have different problems.
  167. 167. Number of the Noun Subject controls the Verb form 12. None requires a singular verb when it means no one or not one. None of us is attending the law night.
  168. 168. Number of the Noun Subject controls the Verb form 13. When all parts of a subject joined by or or nor are singular, the verb is singular; when all parts are plural, the verb is plural. Neither the teacher nor the student knows the answer. The rabbits or the woodpeckers have eaten my food.
  169. 169. Number of the Noun Subject controls the Verb form But problems with subjects joined by or or nor occurs when one part of the subject is singular and the other plural. In that case the verb should agree with the subject part closer to it. To avoid awkwardness in such sentences, place the plural part closer to the verb. Awkward: Neither the employees nor the manager was on time. Improved: Neither the manager nor the employees were on time.
  170. 170. Number of the Noun Subject controls the Verb form The same problem arises when the subject consists of nouns and pronouns of different person requiring different verb forms as in: neither Jim nor I; either he or you. Here, too, the verb agrees with the part of the subject nearer to it. Neither Jim nor I am late. Either he or you are late.
  171. 171. Number of the Noun Subject controls the Verb form But observing this rule often results in awkwardness. Therefore, avoid the problem altogether by rewording the sentence. Awkward: Either he or you are late. Improved: Either he is late, or you are.
  172. 172. KEY RULES ON NUMBER STYLE 1. Spell out numbers from one to ten inclusive, but use figures for all numbers above ten. 2. If a sentence or paragraph contains related numbers and some are above ten and some below, practice varies. Some publishers stick to rule 1, but other publishers put all the related numbers in figures. We need only 8 to 14 volunteers.
  173. 173. KEY RULES ON NUMBER STYLE 3. Large numbers of more than a million can be expressed all in figures or in a mixed form. 6,800,000 or 6.8 million. 4. But numbers, whether above ten or below ten, must be expressed in words in the following: a) at the beginning of a sentence b) indefinite numbers; as in, thousands of women c) straightforward fractions that stand alone; like, one-third the usual time d) do not spell out dates or other serial numbers, but write them in figures.
  174. 174. Punctuation Aids Persuasion A. Punctuation Matters Punctuation marks as “the traffic signals of language” because “they tell us to slow down, notice this, take a detour, and stop.” Punctuation is especially important in legal writing, where the location of a comma can determine the meaning of a law or a sentence.
  175. 175. Punctuation Aids Persuasion B. Commas Commas are the most frequently used punctuation marks in English; they occur in writing twice as often as all other punctuation marks combined. The role of commas is to tell the reader where to pause.
  176. 176. Punctuation Aids Persuasion The omission of a comma, where comma is intended, can lead to miscommunication, as in the following: “Verily I say unto thee, Today thou shalt be with me in Paradise.” Luke 23:43 “Verily I say unto thee today, Thou shalt be with me in Paradise.”
  177. 177. Punctuation Aids Persuasion A woman flew to London all by herself and came upon a fabulous necklace. She sent a text message to her husband, “Darling, I found the beautiful necklace I’ve been looking for all these years. And it costs only P250,000.00. Can I buy it for my birthday?
  178. 178. Punctuation Aids Persuasion The husband promptly texted back a short and firm reply, “No, price too high.” But in his hurry to warn his wife against buying such a most expensive necklace, the comma was omitted and the message sent was “No price too high.”
  179. 179. Punctuation Aids Persuasion The wife wired back, “Thank you darling for being such a loving husband.” Little did she realize that the omission of the comma almost put her husband in a coma. Or, try this: The defendant said the judge is mad. The defendant, said the judge, is mad.
  180. 180. Use commas in the following circumstances: 1. When joining two independent clauses with a coordinating conjunction (An independent clause can stand alone and be a sentence in itself.) Example: “The defendant entered the government computer system, and he denied access to authorized users.” But when the clauses are short and closely related, the comma before the coordinating conjunction is unnecessary. Example: “The defense counsel spoke and the judge listened.”
  181. 181. Use commas in the following circumstances: 2. After an introductory clause or phrase. Example: “Wanting to settle the case quickly, the plaintiff authorized her lawyer to accept any amount over P50,000.00.” But if the introductory element is very short, omit the comma. Example: “At home he wears glasses instead of contact lenses.”
  182. 182. Use commas in the following circumstances: 3. To set off parenthetical elements. Legal citations included in the text of a brief or memorandum are parentheticals, so they should be set off by commas. Example: “In Neypes v. CA, G.R. No. 141524, Sept. 14, 2005, the Supreme Court laid down the 15-day fresh period rule to appeal.
  183. 183. Use commas in the following circumstances: 4. To separate a series of three or more items. When a sentence includes a series of three or more items joined by one conjunction, put commas after each item except the last. Example: “The defendant was armed with a sawed-off shotgun, a semi-automatic pistol, and a hunting knife when he entered the bank.” The second comma is known as the “serial” comma or the “Oxford” comma.
  184. 184. Punctuation Aids Persuasion Therefore, always use serial comma, as in: red, white, and blue copper, silver, and gold past, present, or future good, better, or best
  185. 185. Punctuation Aids Persuasion In a list of more than two items, serial comma separates an item from the last item. The omission of the final comma may cause ambiguities (or, the sentence appears awkward), whereas including it never will.
  186. 186. Punctuation Aids Persuasion Present during the trial were the accused, his sister, and his father and mother. He read separate reports regarding his investments in real estate, commodities, coins, and stocks and bonds. The three committees are technical, scientific, and finance and administration committees.
  187. 187. Punctuation Aids Persuasion Exceptions: 1)In names of law firms and businesses, serial comma is omitted; 2)comma is omitted before the ampersand when listing the names of joint authors.
  188. 188. Use commas in the following circumstances: 5.To set off transitional words. Always use a comma after transitional words such as therefore, thus, furthermore, moreover, etc.But don’t use commas to set off an adverb that needs emphasis. Not this: The witness is, therefore, entitled to immunity. But this: The witness is therefore entitled to immunity. Not this: Plaintiff, nevertheless, wants to bring the issue to the court’s attention. But this: Plaintiff nevertheless wants to bring the issue to court’s attention.
  189. 189. Use commas in the following circumstances: 6. To introduce a short quotation. Use a comma to introduce a short quotation unless the quotation is incorporated into your sentence. Example: “The witness said, “The red car was speeding.”
  190. 190. Punctuation Aids Persuasion Put a comma between two adjectives that modify the noun similarly: A simplistic, fallacious statement But where the adjectives modify the noun in different ways, no comma is needed: A young legal adviser (Simple test: Put “and” between the adjectives as you read them silently. If “and” sounds good, then place a comma. If it does not, don’t place a comma.)
  191. 191. Punctuation Aids Persuasion No comma should separate a noun from a restrictive term of identification: Billy the Kid William the Conqueror Although Junior, with its abbreviation Jr., has commonly been regarded as parenthetic, logic suggests that it is, in fact, restrictive and, therefore, not in need of a comma: Barack Obama Jr.
  192. 192. Commas Misused. Do not use commas in the following ways: 1. In a comma splice. Do not use a comma to separate two independent clauses. To grammarians, this is a cardinal sin known as a “comma splice.” Example: “The bus didn’t come, we had to walk to school.” Correct this either by inserting a semi-colon in place of the comma or by leaving the comma in place and inserting the conjunction “so” after it.
  193. 193. Commas Misused. Do not use commas in the following ways: 2. By placing a comma between two clauses when the second verb has the same subject as the previous verb. Example: “Counsel for the plaintiff filed a motion to dismiss, and submitted it for the judge’s consideration.” Correct this flaw by removing the comma.
  194. 194. C. Semicolons C. Semicolons The semicolon is a hybrid of a comma and a period. It signals a stronger stop than a comma, but not as strong a stop as a period. Put another way, the semicolon signals that more will be said about what just has been said, whereas the period tells the reader that what follows will be a step forward.
  195. 195. Use a semicolon in the following circumstances: 1. To set off two independent clauses connected by transitional words (conjunctive adverbs).
  196. 196. Use a semicolon in the following circumstances: Example: “Attorney advertising is a type of commercial speech; therefore, it deserves only limited protection under the Constitution.” Here, the first independent clause makes a general statement, and the second one elaborates. Alternatively, the two independent clauses may depict a clash of opposites. Example: “The government seeks equality; the opposition favors liberty.”
  197. 197. Use a semicolon in the following circumstances: 2. To separate the items in a complex series or in a series that has internal commase.g. “The prosecutor called the following witnesses: Abe Du, a psychiatrist; Lardo Maguing, a ballistics expert; and Nestor Dok, a police investigator.” 3. To unite two short closely connected sentences. Example: One side must make an offer; the other side must accept it..
  198. 198. C. Colons A colon tells the reader that what follows is closely related to the preceding clause. Use a colon after an independent clause for the following purposes: 1.To make a point dramatically. Example: “John’s grades in his first year of law school told him one thing: he must study harder. 2.To introduce a list.
  199. 199. E. Parentheses and Dashes Like commas, parentheses and dashes set off material that interrupts a sentence. But each device sends a different signal to the reader, so you need to know which one is appropriate in which circumstances. Commas are neutral; they neither emphasize nor play down the textual material that they set off.
  200. 200. E. Parentheses and Dashes Parentheses play down the material that they set off, which is why you should generally exclude parenthetical case explanations from the text of a legal argument. They interrupt the flow of a narrative, and, because they are parenthetical, readers tend not to pay as much attention to them as the writer would like. So, if a case is important enough to cite, state the principle for which it stands in the text.
  201. 201. E. Parentheses and Dashes Dashes emphasize the material that they set off. Use a pair of dashes to set off material that must be in the middle of a sentence because of what it modifies. Example: “The magistrate may rule on any procedural motion—including a motion to suppress evidence and a motion to allow or disallow discovery—at any time following the acceptance of a plea.” Use a single dash at the end of a sentence for dramatic effect. Example: “His identity derived entirely from his work- until retirement.”
  202. 202. Use an apostrophe for the following purposes: Use an apostrophe for the following purposes: 1.To indicate possession. Example: “Counsel’s argument was concise.” 2.To indicate joint ownership. aIf two people own something jointly, indicate that by forming the possessive for the last owner listed. Example: “Late on Saturday afternoons, law students go to Abe and Nestor’s Coffee Shop.”
  203. 203. Use an apostrophe for the following purposes: But to indicate individual ownership, form the possessive for each owner listed. Example: “While at the office, the children played on John’s and Jane’s computers.” 3.To form the plural of abbreviations, numbers, letters, symbols, and words referred to as words.
  204. 204. Use an apostrophe for the following purposes: Examples: Revise this contract by replacing all the aforementioned’s with this’s. The witness recalled that the license number included three P’s. Abe got mostly C’s in law school. Historically, women have been a higher percentage of the Ph.D.’s than of the M.D.’s in Luzon.”
  205. 205. Apostrophes Misused Apostrophes are often misused in contemporary English. The more common misuses include the following: 1. Excluded from possessive form of noun ending in s.
  206. 206. Apostrophes Misused The possessive form of a noun ending in s is s’s. For example, “Michael Dukakis’s 1988 presidential campaign started out well, but was ultimately unsuccessful.” [Not Dukakis’] Charles’s friend, not Charles’ friend Burns’s poems, not Burns’ poems
  207. 207. The only times that s’ is appropriate are when: (1) the plural form of the noun ends in s, as in “the Joneses’ house” or “the Indian tribes’ removal to Oklahoma in the 1830s.” The rule, therefore, is: Form plural possessives by adding an apostrophe to the plural form of the noun: the Atwoods’, bosses’, octuposes’, witnesses’. If the plural form does not end in –s, simply add –‘s. [women’s, children’s]
  208. 208. The only times that s’ is appropriate are when: (2) the noun involved is a classical or biblical name, such as in “Achilles’ heel.” Thus, possessive of ancient proper names ending in –es and –is should be written as in these examples: Jesus’ apostles; or Moses’ laws.
  209. 209. Apostrophes Misused 2. In plural forms of years. The correct form is: “The Impressionists dominated the late 1800s.” [not 1800’s] 3. In contractions in formal legal documents. In a contraction (e.g. don’t) an apostrophe stands for an omitted letter, thereby conveying informality. Consequently, contractions (and their accompanying apostrophes) are inappropriate in statutes, court orders, contracts, appellate briefs, and other formal legal documents.
  210. 210. Apostrophes Misused 4. In a possessive pronoun. Don’t use an apostrophe with the possessive form of the pronoun it. You would be correct in writing “the law firm changed its name.” Use it’s only when you mean “it is.”
  211. 211. Hyphens A hyphen is smaller and has a different purpose than a dash. Use a hyphen in the following circumstances: 1.To join two or more words acting together as a single modifier Example: “Abe’s pint-sized grandmother was the first female attorney in La Union.”
  212. 212. Hyphens 2. To join a number and a noun together as a single modifier Example: “The twenty-year-old defendant feared being sent to prison.”
  213. 213. Hyphens 3. With the prefixes ex-, self-, and all- Example: “Dan’s solo law practice was all-consuming, but he likes self-employment and did not miss his ex-partners.”
  214. 214. Hyphens 4. With compound numbers from twenty-one to ninety-nine, even when part of a larger number Example: one hundred thirty-eight
  215. 215. Hyphens 5. Between all elements of a fraction Example: “Attorney Dumag received a one-third contingent fee.” “Abe received a one-twenty- sixth share.”
  216. 216. Prefixes and their bases (prefix and its base word) should be written as solids 99% of the time. As in: antiestablishment, antipoverty, coworker, minitrial, nonpayment, postjudgment, preemption, pretrial.
  217. 217. Trend now favors union of two words, after some years of hyphenation. Examples: bed chamber bed-chamber bedchamber wild life wild-life wildlife bell boy bell-boy bellboy
  218. 218. Exceptions (1) omission of a hyphen causes confusion, like re-sign as against resign; re-count (meaning, count again) as against recount (meaning, to narrate); (2) the base word is a proper noun, like anti-American; (3) adjectival phrase requires hyphen, as when you write “two-dismissal rule.”
  219. 219. Quasi takes a hyphen when it is used in a compound adjective, like quasi-contractual, quasi-judicial. But hyphen is omitted when the compound is a noun, like quasi deposit, quasi delict.
  220. 220. Self when joined to any word requires a hyphen, like self-defense, self-abnegation. But no hyphen should be placed when self is added to a suffix, like selfless, selfness.
  221. 221. Quotation Marks Use quotation marks to set off only the speaker’s exact words. Example: Attorney Mond asked his young associate, “Did you file the motion for summary judgment in the Dumag case?”
  222. 222. Quotation Marks For quotations of fifty words or more, indent on both the left and the right and leave internal quotation marks as they appeared in the original. Surround your quotation with double quotation marks (“), but use single quotation marks (‘) to indicate internal quotations.
  223. 223. Quotation Marks Periods and commas go inside quotation marks. Colons and semicolons go outside quotation marks. Question marks go inside if they are part of the quoted material, but outside if they are not. Examples: (1) Attorney Dumag asked, “Did I really say that?” (2) Did Attorney Maguing really attribute his client’s suicide to “poor sales projections”?
  224. 224. Exclamation Points (Marks) Lawyers love rules, and the rule here is easy to remember. Generally, don’t use exclamation points in formal legal writing because they tend to be strident instead of persuasive.
  225. 225. Brackets: Brackets have two uses. One use is editorial clarification. Lawyers often use brackets for this purpose. The following example illustrates. “The deed stated that ‘[t]he Grantor reserves a life estate in all of the property conveyed herein [italics supplied].’” The first set of brackets indicates that you have substituted a lower case “t” for the upper case “T” in the original to integrate the quotation into your sentence. The second set of brackets indicates that you have added the emphasis on the word “Grantor.” Note that the period sits outside the second set of brackets.
  226. 226. Brackets: Brackets have two uses. The second use for brackets is to enclose words that you insert in a quotation in order to integrate it into one of your sentences. Note the following example. Original quote: “In the third year of law school, they ought to teach English as a second language.” Quotation with brackets: The professor has said that young lawyers write so poorly that “in the third year of law school, [the curriculum should include] English as a second language.”
  227. 227. RULES TO FOLLOW WHEN WRITING 1. Avoid all caps. Capital letters not only scream, they cut off the ups and downs of letters. If you want to emphasize a phrase or a sentence, either (1) write it well enough that it supplies its own emphasis, or (2) use bold, not caps or italics. Because italic type cuts down on reading speed, italics should be reserved for case names.
  228. 228. RULES TO FOLLOW WHEN WRITING 2. Don’t underline. Underlining is almost as bad as all caps – for the same reason.
  229. 229. RULES TO FOLLOW WHEN WRITING 3. Don’t use too many caps. Lawyers tend to capitalize the initial letter of too many words – especially Court and Judge. But only the Supreme Court is always capitalized, and judge is only capitalized as part of a name.
  230. 230. RULES TO FOLLOW WHEN WRITING 4. Refer to parties by their names. A brief or memorandum that refers to parties by their names is more readable than one that refers to them by their legal status, that is, as Appellant and Appellee or as Plaintiff and Defendant. But you may use the status terms when discussing a case other than the one in which you are participating. A brief or memorandum that refers to parties as “Mr. Dumag” or “Ms. Santos” is more readable than one that refers to them by their legal status, that is, as Appellant and Appellee or as Plaintiff and Defendant. But you may use the status terms in complaints or answers.
  231. 231. RULES TO FOLLOW WHEN WRITING 5. Don’t close memoranda or briefs with “for all the foregoing reasons” Too often, the conclusion begins with the hackneyed phrase, for all the foregoing reasons, premises considered, or for the reasons cited above. These words are so threadbare from overuse that they suggest to the reader that you are not about to say anything worth reading carefully. Replace them with a concise recapitulation of the main points of your argument, which will remind the court why you think it should decide in your client’s favor. Do this in two or three sentences; then make your request for relief the last sentence of your conclusion rather than the first.
  232. 232. OBSERVE PARALLELISM Put ideas of the same rank in the same grammatical form, e.g. “Attorney Duma spent Thursday writing a motion, meeting with clients, and attending an afternoon seminar.”
  233. 233. OBSERVE PARALLELISM Parallelism is necessary in legal writing to make long, complex sentences understandable. Notice that in the preceding example, parallelism is achieved by matching the endings of the first key word (writing, meeting, attending) in each “coordinated element” of the sentence. Coordinated elements are parts of a sentence joined by conjunctions, in this case, and. As the first sentence in this paragraph illustrates, a popular and effective form of parallelism is the series of three. It offers a pleasant rhythm when read.
  234. 234. Edit as carefully as you compose A. The Importance of Editing Remember the earlier admonition to devote 30 percent of your time on a legal-writing project to editing. Justice Brandeis lived by it. “There’s no such thing as good writing—there’s only good editing,” he said.38 This is because different skills are involved in editing than in composing. The goal of composing is to solve an intellectual problem, whereas the goal of editing is to express the writer’s preferred resolution as clearly and persuasively as possible. For success in both endeavors, it’s wise to “compose early and edit late.”39
  235. 235. Edit as carefully as you compose B. Macro-editing vs. Micro-editing The first part of the editing task is macro-editing, which aims to eliminate unnecessary substantive discussion, such as repetitious paragraphs. During this phase concentrate on paring your presentation of the facts and your argument down to their essential elements. The second part of the editing task is micro-editing, which in turn has two parts. Micro-editing focuses first on removing excess verbiage, long-winded phrases, and obviousness. Then (in your third pass through the document) it concentrates on continuity, making sure that the revised sentences and paragraphs are arranged in a logical order and that they read smoothly.
  236. 236. Edit as carefully as you compose C. The Editing Checklist After completing your macro-editing and micro-editing, glance at your document one last time and ask yourself the following questions. If the answer to any one of them is either unclear or “no,” then you have some more work to do. The pertinent questions are:
  237. 237. Edit as carefully as you compose  Does the opening paragraph (or section) provide a good “road map” to the rest of the document?  Does the concluding paragraph (or section) show that the document has reached its intended destination?
  238. 238. Edit as carefully as you compose  Does each paragraph make only one major point?  Are the paragraphs (and sections) connected by suitable transitions? When you can answer yes to each of these questions, show the document to a colleague, if possible, before copying and filing it. Your colleague may notice substantive or stylistic flaws that you have missed.
  239. 239. Edit as carefully as you compose If you remember nothing else from these materials, remember to compose early and edit late. Legal writing is rewriting.
  240. 240. Exercises I. Style Using the principles discussed above, rewrite each of the following sentences.
  241. 241. HOW TO CITE AUTHORITIES: 1. Commentaries, Periodicals, and Treatises Single Author: Salonga, Philippine Law on Evidence, 3rd Ed. (1964), p. 39. Several Authors: Noblejas et al., Registration of Land Titles and Deeds, 1992 Rev. Ed., p. 561. Treatises: Wigmore on Evidence, Rev. Ed., 1961, s2252. Law Journal Articles/Periodicals: Schoenfeld, The "Stop and Frisk" Law is Unconstitutional, Syracuse Law Rev., Vol. 17, No. 4, 1966, 627, 633.
  242. 242. HOW TO CITE AUTHORITIES: Constitution: Sec. 12, Art. III, 1987 Constitution. Codes: Art. 248, Revised Penal Code; or Sec. 3, Rule 39, Rules of Court. Statutes: Sec. 17, The Negotiable Instruments Law; or Sec. 4, R.A. 6425. Art. 48, Revised Penal Code. Sec. 3, Rule 16, Rules of Court. Sec. 5, The Comprehensive Dangerous Drugs Act of 2002. or, Sec. 5, R.A. 9165. It may also be written as: Republic Act No. 9165; or Rep. Act 9165
  243. 243. HOW TO CITE AUTHORITIES: 2. Signs and Symbols a) op. cit. - Abbreviation for opere citato, meaning, from the work cited, when the reference is to the same work or treatise of an author already cited. If you earlier cited (Salonga, Philippine Law on Evidence, 3rd. Ed. (1964), p. 39), and you need to cite him again from the same work or treatise, but in another page, you may merely write (Salonga, op. cit., p. 63), which indicates that the same work of Salonga, Philippine Law on Evidence, at page 63, is cited as authority.
  244. 244. HOW TO CITE AUTHORITIES: 2. Signs and Symbols b) id. and ibid. - Abbreviations for idem and ibidem, which mean from the same place. Where in a text or footnote reference, there is a complete case citation or other authority and upon the same page and without intervening citations either in footnotes or in succeeding notes, another reference is made to that case or authority, ibid. is sufficient. But where the citation is to a different page, cite id. at page _.
  245. 245. HOW TO CITE AUTHORITIES: 2. Signs and Symbols c)supra - It means "over" or "above". It indicates a reference to a citation of authority or a part of a discussion made earlier in a presentation. d)infra - The term, which means "below," indicates a reference to a latter part of the discussion. e) e.g. (for exempli gratia) This is used to give an example.
  246. 246. HOW TO CITE AUTHORITIES: 2. Signs and Symbols f)i.e. (for id est. which means "that is”) This is used to illustrate or specify an example of the antecedent or precedent statement. g) et seq. (for et sequentae which means "and the following”) This is used to refer to matters following the cited portion of an authority, giving the specific page, and is usually indicative of related discussions or subjects. e.g., Salonga, Philippine Law on Evidence, 3rd Ed. (1964), p. 39, et seq.
  247. 247. PPRREEFFEERR AACCTTIIVVEE VVEERRBBSS • AAss aa rruullee,, cchhoooossee aann aaccttiivvee vveerrbb aanndd ppaaiirr iitt wwiitthh aa ssuubbjjeecctt tthhaatt nnaammeess tthhee ppeerrssoonn oorr tthhiinngg ddooiinngg tthhee aaccttiioonn.. • AAccttiivvee vveerrbbss eexxpprreessss mmeeaanniinngg mmoorree eemmpphhaattiiccaallllyy aanndd vviiggoorroouussllyy tthhaann tthheeiirr wweeaakkeerr ccoouunntteerrppaarrttss ---- vveerrbbss iinn tthhee ppaassssiivvee vvooiiccee.. • AAlltthhoouugghh ppaassssiivvee vveerrbbss hhaavvee lleeggiittiimmaattee uusseess,, iiff aann aaccttiivvee vveerrbb ccaann ccaarrrryy yyoouurr mmeeaanniinngg,, uussee iitt..
  248. 248. PPAASSSSIIVVEE:: TThhee ssuubbjjeecctt nnaammeess tthhee oobbjjeecctt oorr rreecceeiivveerr ooff tthhee aaccttiioonn.. AACCTTIIVVEE:: TThhee ssuubbjjeecctt nnaammeess tthhee aaccttoorr.. TThhee ppaappeerr wwaass wwrriitttteenn bbyy AAbbee.. ((ppaassssiivvee)) AAbbee wwrroottee tthhee ppaappeerr.. ((aaccttiivvee)) SSaallllyy wwaass bbiitttteenn bbyy AAbbee’’ss ddoogg.. ((ppaassssiivvee)) AAbbee’’ss ddoogg bbiitt SSaallllyy.. ((aaccttiivvee)) TThhee bbaallll wwaass ccaauugghhtt bbyy AAbbee.. ((ppaassssiivvee)) AAbbee ccaauugghhtt tthhee bbaallll.. ((aaccttiivvee)) TThhee bbiillll wwaass ppaaiidd bbyy RReeyy.. ((ppaassssiivvee)) RReeyy ppaaiidd tthhee bbiillll.. ((aaccttiivvee))
  249. 249. QQUUEESSTTIIOONN:: WWhheenn iiss tthhee ppaassssiivvee vvooiiccee aapppprroopprriiaattee?? AANNSSWWEERR:: TThhee ppaassssiivvee vvooiiccee iiss aapppprroopprriiaattee iinn ttwwoo ssiittuuaattiioonnss:: wwhheenn tthhee aaccttoorr iiss uunnkknnoowwnn;; aanndd wwhheenn tthhee aaccttoorr iiss uunniimmppoorrttaanntt oorr lleessss iimmppoorrttaanntt tthhaann tthhee oobbjjeecctt ooff tthhee aaccttiioonn..
  250. 250. Jim was mmuurrddeerreedd aafftteerr hhee rreettuurrnneedd hhoommee.. ((TThhee mmuurrddeerreerr iiss pprreessuummaabbllyy uunnkknnoowwnn;; JJiimm’’ss mmuurrddeerr iiss tthhee ppooiinntt ooff tthhee sseenntteennccee..)) TThhee fflliigghhtt wwaass ccaanncceelllleedd.. ((TThhee ssuubbjjeecctt ooff tthhee sseenntteennccee iiss uunniimmppoorrttaanntt..))
  251. 251. AAPPPPRROOPPRRIIAATTEE PPAASSSSIIVVEE:: MMaannyy nnaattiivvee HHaawwaaiiiiaannss aarree ffoorrcceedd ttoo lleeaavvee tthheeiirr bbeeaauuttiiffuull bbeeaacchheess ttoo mmaakkee rroooomm ffoorr hhootteellss aanndd ccoonnddoommiinniiuummss.. ((TThhee wwrriitteerr wwiisshheedd ttoo eemmpphhaassiizzee tthhee rreecceeiivveerr ooff tthhee aaccttiioonn,, HHaawwaaiiiiaannss..)) NNOOTTEE:: IInn mmuucchh sscciieennttiiffiicc wwrriittiinngg,, tthhee ppaassssiivvee vvooiiccee pprrooppeerrllyy eemmpphhaassiizzeess tthhee eexxppeerriimmeenntt oorr pprroocceessss bbeeiinngg ddeessccrriibbeedd,, nnoott tthhee rreesseeaarrcchheerr.. TThhee ssoolluuttiioonn wwaass hheeaatteedd ttoo tthhee bbooiilliinngg ppooiinntt,, aanndd tthheenn iitt wwaass rreedduucceedd iinn vvoolluummee..
  252. 252. FFAAUULLTTYY:: TThhee UUnniioonn AArrmmyy wwaass vviiccttoorriioouuss oovveerr tthhee CCoonnffeeddeerraattee AArrmmyy iinn 11886655.. IIMMPPRROOVVEEDD:: TThhee UUnniioonn AArrmmyy ddeeffeeaatteedd tthhee CCoonnffeeddeerraattee AArrmmyy iinn 11886655.. FFAAUULLTTYY:: TThhee eennttiirree ooppeerraattiioonn iiss mmaannaaggeedd bbyy AAhhmmeedd,, tthhee pprroodduucceerr.. IIMMPPRROOVVEEDD:: AAhhmmeedd,, tthhee pprroodduucceerr,, mmaannaaggeess tthhee eennttiirree ooppeerraattiioonn..
  253. 253. RREEPPLLAACCEE BBEE VVEERRBBSS TTHHAATT RREESSUULLTT IINN DDUULLLL OORR WWOORRDDYY SSEENNTTEENNCCEESS GGEENNEERRAALL RRUULLEE:: TThhee ffoorrmmss ooff bbee ((bbee,, aamm,, iiss,, aarree,, wwaass,, wweerree,, bbeeiinngg,, bbeeeenn)) wwoorrkk wweellll wwhheenn uusseedd ttoo lliinnkk aa ssuubbjjeecctt ttoo aa nnoouunn tthhaatt cclleeaarrllyy rreennaammeess iitt oorr ttoo aann aaddjjeeccttiivvee tthhaatt ddeessccrriibbeess iitt:: HHiissttoorryy iiss aann iinntteerreessttiinngg ssuubbjjeecctt.. BBee vveerrbbss aarree aallssoo ffiinnee wwhheenn uusseedd aass hheellppiinngg vveerrbbss bbeeffoorree pprreesseenntt ppaarrttiicciipplleess ((iiss ffllyyiinngg,, aarree ddiissaappppeeaarriinngg)) ttoo eexxpprreessss oonnggooiinngg aaccttiioonn.. AAbbee wwaass rreeaaddiinngg wwhheenn hhiiss ssoonn aarrrriivveedd..
  254. 254. EEXXCCEEPPTTIIOONN:: IIFF UUSSIINNGG AA BBEE VVEERRBB MMAAKKEESS AA SSEENNTTEENNCCEE NNEEEEDDLLEESSSSLLYY DDUULLLL AANNDD WWOORRDDYY,, RREEPPLLAACCEE IITT.. WWOORRDDYY:: WWhheenn RRoossaa PPaarrkkss wwaass ((bbee ffoorrmm)) rreessiissttaanntt ttoo ggiivviinngg uupp hheerr sseeaatt oonn tthhee bbuuss,, sshhee bbeeccaammee aa cciivviill rriigghhttss hheerroo.. IIMMPPRROOVVEEDD:: WWhheenn RRoossaa PPaarrkkss rreessiisstteedd ggiivviinngg uupp hheerr sseeaatt oonn tthhee bbuuss,, sshhee bbeeccaammee aa cciivviill rriigghhttss hheerroo.. RReessiisstteedd iiss ssttrroonnggeerr tthhaann wwaass rreessiissttaanntt ttoo..
  255. 255. CCHHOOOOSSEE AA SSUUBBJJEECCTT TTHHAATT NNAAMMEESS TTHHEE PPEERRSSOONN OORR TTHHIINNGG DDOOIINNGG TTHHEE AACCTTIIOONN WWEEAAKK:: EExxppoossuurree ttoo PPrrooffeessssoorr AAbbee’’ss eexxcceelllleenntt tteeaacchhiinngg hhaadd tthhee eeffffeecctt ooff iinnssppiirriinngg mmee ttoo ffiinniisshh llaaww.. EEMMPPHHAATTIICC:: PPrrooffeessssoorr AAbbee’’ss eexxcceelllleenntt tteeaacchhiinngg hhaadd iinnssppiirreedd mmee ttoo ffiinniisshh llaaww.. TThhee sseeccoonndd sseenntteennccee ((tteeaacchhiinngg iinnssppiirreedd)) eexxpprreesssseess tthhee wwrriitteerr’’ss ppooiinntt mmoorree eemmpphhaattiiccaallllyy tthhaann tthhee ffiirrsstt ((eexxppoossuurree hhaadd))..
  256. 256. AAVVOOIIDD SSEEXXIISSTT LLAANNGGUUAAGGEE BBeeccaauussee mmaannyy rreeaaddeerrss oobbjjeecctt ttoo sseexxiisstt llaanngguuaaggee,, aavvooiidd tthhee uussee ooff hhee,, hhiimm,, hhiiss ttoo rreeffeerr ttoo bbootthh mmeenn aanndd wwoommeenn.. UUssee ssppaarriinnggllyy tthhee ddoouubbllee pprroonnoouunnss hhee oorr sshhee aanndd hhiiss oorr hheerr.. SSeeeekk oouutt mmoorree ggrraacceeffuull aalltteerrnnaattiivveess.. •RReeccaasstt tthhee sseenntteennccee ssoo tthhaatt tthhee pprroonnoouunn’’ss aanntteecceeddeenntt iiss pplluurraall.. •RReeccaasstt tthhee sseenntteennccee ssoo tthhaatt aa pprroonnoouunn iiss nnoott nneeeeddeedd..
  257. 257. SSEEXXIISSTT SSEENNTTEENNCCEE:: EEvveerryy llaawwyyeerr pprreeppaarreess ddiilliiggeennttllyy ffoorr hhiiss ccaarreeeerr.. DDOOUUBBLLEE PPRROONNOOUUNNSS:: EEvveerryy llaawwyyeerr pprreeppaarreess ddiilliiggeennttllyy ffoorr hhiiss oorr hheerr ccaarreeeerr.. PPLLUURRAALL AANNTTEECCEEDDEENNTT:: AAllll llaawwyyeerrss pprreeppaarree ddiilliiggeennttllyy ffoorr tthheeiirr ccaarreeeerrss.. NNOO PPRROONNOOUUNN:: EEvveerryy llaawwyyeerr pprreeppaarreess ddiilliiggeennttllyy ffoorr aa ccaarreeeerr iinn llaaww..
  258. 258. SSEEXXIISSTT SSEENNTTEENNCCEE:: EEaacchh ssttuuddeenntt mmuusstt bbrriinngg aa nnoottee ffrroomm hhiiss ppaarreennttss.. DDOOUUBBLLEE PPRROONNOOUUNNSS:: EEaacchh ssttuuddeenntt mmuusstt bbrriinngg aa nnoottee ffrroomm hhiiss oorr hheerr ppaarreennttss.. PPLLUURRAALL AANNTTEECCEEDDEENNTT:: AAllll ssttuuddeennttss mmuusstt bbrriinngg aa nnoottee ffrroomm tthheeiirr ppaarreennttss.. NNOO PPRROONNOOUUNN:: EEaacchh ssttuuddeenntt mmuusstt ggeett wwrriitttteenn ppaarreennttaall ppeerrmmiissssiioonn..
  259. 259. SSEEXXIISSTT SSEENNTTEENNCCEE:: EEvveerryyoonnee bbrroouugghhtt hhiiss bbooookk ttoo ccllaassss.. DDOOUUBBLLEE PPRROONNOOUUNNSS:: EEvveerryyoonnee bbrroouugghhtt hhiiss oorr hheerr bbooookk ttoo ccllaassss.. PPLLUURRAALL AANNTTEECCEEDDEENNTT:: AAllll tthhee ssttuuddeennttss bbrroouugghhtt tthheeiirr bbooookk ttoo ccllaassss..
  260. 260. SSEEXXIISSTT SSEENNTTEENNCCEE:: AA llaaww ssttuuddeenntt mmuusstt ssttuuddyy hhaarrdd iiff hhee wwaannttss ttoo ssuucccceeeedd.. DDOOUUBBLLEE PPRROONNOOUUNNSS:: AA llaaww ssttuuddeenntt mmuusstt ssttuuddyy hhaarrdd iiff hhee oorr sshhee wwaannttss ttoo ssuucccceeeedd.. PPLLUURRAALL AANNTTEECCEEDDEENNTT:: LLaaww ssttuuddeennttss mmuusstt ssttuuddyy hhaarrdd iiff tthheeyy wwaanntt ttoo ssuucccceeeedd.. RREEVVIISSEEDD:: LLaaww ssttuuddeennttss mmuusstt ssttuuddyy hhaarrdd ttoo ssuucccceeeedd..
  261. 261. BBAALLAANNCCEE PPAARRAALLLLEELL IIDDEEAASS PPaarraalllleell iiddeeaass aarree eeaassiieerr ttoo ggrraasspp wwhheenn eexxpprreesssseedd iinn ppaarraalllleell ggrraammmmaattiiccaall ffoorrmm.. SSiinnggllee wwoorrddss sshhoouulldd bbee bbaallaanncceedd wwiitthh ssiinnggllee wwoorrddss,, pphhrraasseess wwiitthh pphhrraasseess,, ccllaauusseess wwiitthh ccllaauusseess.. AA kkiissss ccaann bbee aa ccoommmmaa,, aa qquueessttiioonn mmaarrkk,, oorr aann eexxccllaammaattiioonn ppooiinntt.. TThhiiss bbooookk iiss nnoott ttoo bbee ttoosssseedd lliigghhttllyy aassiiddee,, bbuutt ttoo bbee rreeaadd wwiitthh ggrreeaatt iinntteerreesstt.. IInn mmaatttteerrss ooff pprriinncciippllee,, ssttaanndd lliikkee aa rroocckk;; iinn mmaatttteerrss ooff ttaassttee,, sswwiimm wwiitthh tthhee ccuurrrreenntt..
  262. 262. BBAALLAANNCCEE PPAARRAALLLLEELL IIDDEEAASS IINN AA SSEERRIIEESS WWEEAAKK:: AAbbuusseedd cchhiillddrreenn ccoommmmoonnllyy eexxhhiibbiitt oonnee oorr mmoorree ooff tthhee ffoolllloowwiinngg ssyymmppttoommss:: wwiitthhddrraawwaall,, rreebbeelllliioouussnneessss,, rreessttlleessssnneessss,, aanndd tthheeyy aarree ddeepprreesssseedd.. RREEVVIISSEEDD:: AAbbuusseedd cchhiillddrreenn ccoommmmoonnllyy eexxhhiibbiitt oonnee oorr mmoorree ooff tthhee ffoolllloowwiinngg ssyymmppttoommss:: wwiitthhddrraawwaall,, rreebbeelllliioouussnneessss,, rreessttlleessssnneessss,, aanndd ddeepprreessssiioonn.. TThhee rreevviissiioonn pprreesseennttss aallll iitteemmss aass nnoouunnss..
  263. 263. WWEEAAKK:: HHooookkeedd oonn rroommaannccee nnoovveellss,, II lleeaarrnneedd tthhaatt tthheerree iiss nnootthhiinngg mmoorree iimmppoorrttaanntt tthhaann bbeeiinngg rriicchh,, llooookkiinngg ggoooodd,, aanndd ttoo hhaavvee aa ggoooodd ttiimmee.. RREEVVIISSEEDD:: HHooookkeedd oonn rroommaannccee nnoovveellss,, II lleeaarrnneedd tthhaatt tthheerree iiss nnootthhiinngg mmoorree iimmppoorrttaanntt tthhaann bbeeiinngg rriicchh,, llooookkiinngg ggoooodd,, aanndd hhaavviinngg aa ggoooodd ttiimmee.. TThhee rreevviissiioonn uusseess ––iinngg ffoorrmmss ffoorr aallll iitteemmss iinn tthhee sseerriieess..
  264. 264. BBAALLAANNCCEE PPAARRAALLLLEELL IIDDEEAASS PPRREESSEENNTTEEDD AASS PPAAIIRRSS WWhheenn ppaaiirriinngg iiddeeaass,, uunnddeerrssccoorree tthheeiirr ccoonnnneeccttiioonn bbyy eexxpprreessssiinngg tthheemm iinn ssiimmiillaarr ggrraammmmaattiiccaall ffoorrmm.. PPaaiirreedd iiddeeaass aarree uussuuaallllyy ccoonnnneecctteedd iinn oonnee ooff tthheessee wwaayyss:: •WWiitthh ccoooorrddiinnaattiinngg ccoonnjjuunnccttiioonnss ssuucchh aass aanndd,, bbuutt,, oorr oorr.. •WWiitthh aa ppaaiirr ooff ccoorrrreellaattiivvee ccoonnjjuunnccttiioonnss ssuucchh aass eeiitthheerr…… oorr oorr nnoott oonnllyy……bbuutt aallssoo.. •WWiitthh aa wwoorrdd iinnttrroodduucciinngg aa ccoommppaarriissoonn,, uussuuaallllyy tthhaann oorr aass..

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