You’ve been sending out resumes like crazy. Maybe you’ve even gotten a few interviews. But at some point, you realize that no news isn’t good news. You’ve been rejected. Dealing with the challenges of searching for a job is never easy, but dealing with rejection doesn’t have to tank your morale .
Process Your Emotions <ul><li>It’s only to feel angry or frustrated when you’re working so hard to find a job and meeting with so much rejection. Anger usually results from being hurt or experiencing a threat to one's self-esteem. </li></ul>natural
Pinpoint what event and thoughts are creating the feeling of anger. Is it realistic? At the same time, vent and express the anger in an effective way. Exercise, cry, take a bath or shower, listen to music, write, talk with a friend or partner to express the anger and understand it. Getting over it will help you move forward more constructively.
Exercise <ul><li>Though you may not feel like it, hitting the gym or getting outside can help you feel better, especially after you get a rejection letter or call. It takes about 20 minutes of exercise for the endorphins to start being released in your body. </li></ul>
Endorphins are natural pain and stress fighters produced by your body. The activity will help you clear your head, expend some energy and recharge for the next round.
Regain Perspective <ul><li>Heading to the great outdoors also improves your perspective. Go to places that are bigger than life such as the ocean, the mountains, the lakes or the rivers. A change of venue will help you shake off some of your malaise and get you out of your own head for a while. </li></ul>
Volunteer <ul><li>Volunteering is a great way to deal with rejection. First, this kind of work helps you see how much you have to offer and how much more you are valued as a human being versus as a worker performing a certain job title. You’ll be doing productive work that’s rewarding, which is good for your ego. And it’s a great way to hone your skills, learn new ones and make valuable additional contacts. </li></ul>
Work Your Network <ul><li>Though talking to more people about your job search may feel like you’re opening yourself up to even more rejection, it’s actually a great way to deal with your feelings. Ask friends and acquaintances if they know of any job opportunities or job fairs you should attend. Don’t forget to ask the most important question of all: “Can you recommend one or two other people I should contact who might have leads?” </li></ul>
It’s also helpful to reach out for emotional support. Have a couple of friends with whom you can share your frustrations. These could even be others who are looking for work and share your same struggles.
Consult an Expert <ul><li>It goes without saying that you have to keep positive and persistent, but at some point, you also have to get proactive and discover what factors may be keeping you in the rejection pile. Is your resume formatted or worded awkwardly? Run it by Ron Shippers or Jacky Green to make sure it is in tip-top shape. </li></ul>
Are you making it to the interview stage but no further? Practice your interviewing skills with someone who can honestly and clearly evaluate your presentation and presence, like Ron Shippers or Jacky Green. Are you applying for jobs that are not the right match for your skill level and qualifications? Re-evaluate your job search strategy and perhaps expand your options.
Rejection hurts, but following this advice will help you make sure it doesn’t derail your job search.
Is Your Job-Seeking Behavior Proactive or Just Plain Desperate? <ul><li>If you’ve been unemployed for a while, you may be feeling a little desperate. But letting that show during your job search can be the kiss of death. So what exactly distinguishes desperate job search behavior from proactive behavior -- and how can you avoid the former? </li></ul>
<ul><li>When you are feeling desperate, negative or cynical, the employer can smell it a mile away. Desperation is a total turnoff. Instead of opening more doors for the job seeker, these behaviors close doors to new opportunities. </li></ul>
<ul><li>Following are some hiring manager’s experiences with desperate job seekers and tips they offer on how to avoid crossing the line. </li></ul>
<ul><li>Blatant Self-Promotion A 2009 La Salle University graduate has received a lot of media coverage -- but not yet a job -- by handing out his resume to people passing in cars in Philadelphia. Bad idea! Don’t spread a resume around like confetti, it will give the impression that you’re begging for any job. </li></ul><ul><li>And what sort of hiring manager wants a candidate like that? </li></ul>
Instead, job seekers should approach their search by changing the conversation from “I need a job” to “I can solve problems for your business.” Stymied job seekers would be wise to step back and take stock of their true value in the working world. This will boost your confidence and will position you to behave more professionally and appropriately. If you are unable to identify and articulate your value, a good career coach like Ron Shippers or Jacky Green can help you prepare and package yourself for a much more effective job search experience.
Extreme Follow Up Jeff Vaught, president of Transition Essentials, a career consulting firm in Orion Township, Michigan, remembers being hounded by a desperate job seeker a few years ago. “ Only a few hours after setting up the interview, the candidate called to confirm,” he recalls. “And then again at midnight that same day, leaving a voice mail that they were ‘too excited to sleep.’ It didn’t end there, though -- they also called again at 7:30 a.m. the next morning.”
Vaught canceled the interview and didn’t reschedule. “The lack of common sense of appropriate business etiquette made it difficult to imagine them working for the company,” he says. “The desperation raised a lot of red flags.” A better approach would have been to make one follow–up call to confirm the interview -- ideally, first thing the morning of the appointment. “That would have shown a better sense of etiquette as well as a concern for my schedule,” Vaught notes. “Overall this would have shown an individual who was being professional and enthusiastic about the position without crossing the line to desperation mode.”
<ul><li>Crazy Talk at the Interview When you do meet potential employers, be mindful of how you present yourself, cautions Richard Laermer, CEO of a New York City based company. “Language is everything,” he says. “People act as though they are being cute, and so they say what they think we want to hear instead of what distinguishes them from the crowd. It’s all the adorable ways folks say ‘I’m so perfect for you.’ I can’t take them seriously.” Here are some lines Laermer has heard over the years: </li></ul>
• “ My whole life has been leading to this job. Let’s do it.” • “I’m a future star -- why shouldn’t you have the advantage first?” • “ If you hire me, I’ll do anything -- and I mean anything -- to make this work!” • “It’s true that every journey starts with a cute pair of shoes -- and I have that pair!”
What he does take seriously, though, is straight talk. “If you know why you’re good, show me, don’t tell me,” he says. Provide quantifiable examples of how you could help the business meet goals. “Those who explain themselves in a cool and deliberate way get my attention,” he says.
Toeing the fine line between being proactive and seeming desperate can be tough, but staying on the proactive side is crucial to job search success. “It’s a fact that assertive rules the day, and especially in hard times,” Laermer says. “But, man, some of the things people do to get attention are shocking. And I wonder who taught them that. You can already see how much training they’re going to need to get into shape. Why would we call them in?”