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Communication Modeling for Personal and Professional Excellence - Jun 2009


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Today more than ever, effective management and project execution depends on frequent team and individual interaction. When Communication styles differ, individuals may not be correctly understood, rapport is minimized and the interaction is assessed as being less than positive. Note, a key component of the Business Analysis Body of Knowledge® v2.0 is Requirement Management and Communication contained in Chapter 4.

This presentation will help you to improve your life experience and communication performance dramatically and measurably. It will provide you with powerful information, excellent techniques, and actionable strategies you can use to improve your relationships, and succeed more in business.

Ernest L. HicksErnest L. Hicks is Manager, Corporate Diversity for Xerox Corporation. He is responsible for external relationships, partnerships, communications, image programs and corporate diversity initiatives.

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Communication Modeling for Personal and Professional Excellence - Jun 2009

  1. 1. Communication Modeling for Personal and Professional Excellence Launch Celebration Guest Speaker: Ernest Hicks June 4, 2009This event issponsored by © International Institute of Business Analysis™
  2. 2. Agenda§  1. Welcome and Chapter Update§  2. Upcoming Programs§  3. June Program with Guest Speaker Ernest Hicks © International Institute of Business Analysis™ 2
  3. 3. Chapter Update 1. Chapter Charter§  2. Chapter Board of Director Elections§  3. Chapter Membership§  4. Chapter Surveys§  6. Volunteer Opportunities§ Chapter Website: © International Institute of Business Analysis™ 3
  4. 4. Upcoming Programs§  Thursday, 7/16 – Summer Networking (i.e. – Happy HourJ) at Pomodoro Grill§  Thursday, 8/13 – Summer Networking at Pomodoro Grill§  Thursday, 9/24 – “Bringing Software Requirements to Life” Lunch Program with Guest speaker David Walker from Borland at Sanibel Cottage§  © International Institute of Business Analysis™ 4
  5. 5. Upcoming Programs§  Thursday, 10/22 – “Visualization of Requirements” Lunch event with Matt Smith from iRise at Sanibel Cottage§  Thursday, 11/19 – Dinner event with Blueprint at Sanibel Cottage§  Thursday, 12/10 – Holiday Dinner Party at Sanibel Cottage © International Institute of Business Analysis™ 5
  6. 6. Effective Communications The Map Is Not The Territory The image cannot be displayed. Your computer may not have enough memory to open the image, or the image may have been corrupted. Restart your computer, and then open the file again. If the red x still appears, you may have to delete the image and then insert it again. The image cannot be displayed. Your computer may not have enough memory to open the image, or the image may have been corrupted. Restart your computer, and then open the file again. If the red x still appears, you may have to delete the image and then insert it again.It Is Only “A” Map Of The Territory Ernest L. Hicks 585-423-6157 8*223-6157
  7. 7. Basic PresuppositionsJ  The meaning of your communication is the response it elicitsJ  There are no failures in communication, only responsesJ  Recognizing responses requires clean open sensory channelsJ  Individuals process all information through their five sensesJ  Individuals with the most flexibility have the highest probability of achieving the response they desireJ  Individuals have all the resources necessary to make any desired changeJ  Individuals have two levels of communications: conscious and unconsciousJ  There is inherent value in all individuals regardless of the appropriateness of their behaviorJ  Individuals operate from their perception of the world rather than what the world really is.
  8. 8. Effective Communications
  9. 9. What is Communication?‘Communication” is the process that occurs when a perceivedbehavior in one person causes a “significant” mental, emotional,physical, or spiritual reaction in another personSince silence, withdrawal, and absence can cause significant mental andemotional reactions, it is impossible to “not communicate.”What is Effective “Communication”?Two or more people communicate effectively when each feels clear atthe end that Ø  “My main (primary) needs have been met well enough,... Ø  in a way that pleases me well enough.”The odds of this happening in typical interpersonal situations are about 25%!
  10. 10. The Meaning Of Your Communication
  11. 11. The Meaning Of Your Communication
  12. 12. How People Perceive CommunicationsGeneric Visual Auditory KinestheticI understand you I see your point I hear what you I feel that I am in are saying touch with what you’re sayingI want tocommunicate I want you to I want to make I want you to get asomething to take a look at this loud and grasp on thisyou this clearDo you Am I painting a Does what I am Are you able to getunderstand what clear picture? saying sound an handle on this?I am trying to right to you?communicate? I know beyond aI know that to be shadow of a That information That information istrue doubt that this is is accurate word as solid as a rock true for wordI am not sure That is pretty That doesn’t I am not sure I’mabout that hazy to me really ring a bell following you
  13. 13. Vc Eye Cues Vr Visual Constructed Images Visual Recalled ImagesAc Ar Auditory Constructing Words, Auditory Dialogue Remembering Words, DialogueK Kinesthetic Aid Internal & External Feelings Auditory Internal Dialogue
  14. 14. Submodality ChecklistVISUAL Visualcolor, clarity Vrshade position Vcmovement flatassociation shapemovie snapshotdistance foreground
  15. 15. Submodality ChecklistAUDITORY Auditorytone, tempodirection pitchinternal volume soundsfrequency words Ac Arlocation externalintensity associateddisassociated
  16. 16. Submodality ChecklistKINESTHETIC kinesthetictemperature sizemovement shapemoisture weightdurationinternal external K texturelocation frequency
  17. 17. Now I can see Practice Activity I really feel excitedwhat you aresayingI would probably And I haveexpress it this to ask myselfway how this affects me I remember you said There are so many just those words things that I can see myself doing
  18. 18. Questions to Elicit Specific Eye AccessingVisual Remembered What color are your mother’s eyes? What color is your car? How many doors are in your house?/apartmentConstructed Images How much is 330 divided by 3 Describe how you would look on a TV screen See yourself ten pounds lighterAuditory Think of one of your favorite songs- hum it to yourself How does your car sound? Remember the last conversation with the last person you saw last nightKinesthetic Which is colder- your right or left arm? Feel the heat of hot sand Remember how you felt with your first kiss
  19. 19. Rapport✪  Only 7% of communication on the unconscious level comes through language.✪  93% ---- your voice, body, as well as words✪  MATCHING, moving the same side of the body The image cannot be displayed. Your The image cannot be displayed. Your computer may not have enough computer may not have enough memory to open the image, or the memory to open the image, or the image may have been corrupted. image may have been corrupted. Restart your computer, and then open Restart your computer, and then open the file again. If the red x still appears, the file again. If the red x still appears, you may have to delete the image and you may have to delete the image and then insert it again. then insert it again.✪  MIRRORING, being a mirror image
  20. 20. RapportØ  Rapport is a state in which a person is most responsive to youØ  When people are like each other they tend to like each otherØ  On the other hand when people are not like each other, they tend to not like each other
  21. 21. What are Your Goals?The first thing that degrades during a crucial conversation is notour behavior (second) but motives, and we rarely see it happeningUnhealthy Goals Goals of DialogueØ  Be Right Ø  LearnØ  Look good/ save face Ø  Find the TruthØ  Win Ø  Produce ResultsØ  Punish, blame Ø  Build and Strengthen RelationshipsØ  Avoid Conflict Crucial Conversations Tools for talking when stakes are high, Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny Ron Mc Millan, Al Switzler
  22. 22. AnchoringØ  An anchor is a technique that establishes a conditioned response in a person using words, pictures, touch or gestures. - Person is fully associated - Present or past experience
  23. 23. Identifying A Personal AnchorUnderstand what actions, behavior, words orStimuli cause you to respond automatically toCertain situationsExample1.Stimulus: song2.Modality auditory3.Response “I get teary4.Connection When I said good-bye to my best friend
  24. 24. Managing Your ListeningListening FiltersØ  Our automatic way of listening is reactive, listening toØ  Our little voice reacts to what we think we hear I already know this What’s the point? This is like--- Where is this going? What’s in it for me? Will this work?Ø  Focus is on the information that validates your thinkingØ  You miss out on the new information you didn’t know that could have created new possibilities, growth and development leadership and The Art of Conversation, Kim Krisco
  25. 25. Filters Values Attitudes PersonalityBeliefs ExpectationsCulture Assumptions Prejudices InterestsMemories Images past and future Past experienceØ Although all of us possess these internal lenses, we are often blind to them. We do not realize how much they “color” what we hear and how we respond.Ø Being aware of these filtering lenses is a significant step in becoming a better listener.
  26. 26. Managing Your ListeningAffirmative ListeningØ  Affirmative Listening is listening for- Listening for the possibilityØ  Instead of listening through “ I know this” try listening through “ I don’t know thisØ  Listen for new ideas, how you are alike, for ways to collaborate, shared valuesØ  Affirmative listening connects you to others rather than separate you from others AFFIRMATIVE REACTIVE What is What is spoken HEARD What is What is HEARD spoken leadership and The Art of Conversation, Kim Krisco
  27. 27. Preparing an Issue For DiscussionØ The Issue is: Be concise. One or two sentences, is it a concern, challenge, opportunity, recurring problem?Ø It is Significant Because: What’s at stake, How does it affect dollars, income, customers, the future.Ø My Ideal Outcome: What specific results do I wantØ Relevant Background Information: How, when, why and where did the issue start.Ø What I have done up to this point: What have I done so far, What options am I considering?Ø The help I want from the group is: What result do I wantFierce Conversations, Achieving Success at Work
  28. 28. Making Things happenLearn to Make Proper RequestØ  Saying exactly what you wantØ  Saying exactly when you want itØ  Saying exactly who you want it fromThe operative word is exactly. The less precise you are inmaking your request, the greater the chance you will not getwhat you want or expect.When we don’t get what we want we usually blame someoneelse, but the majority of the time it’s our fault. leadership and The Art of Conversation, Kim Krisco
  29. 29. Getting Proper RepliesThere are only four proper replies or responses torequestØ  AcceptØ  DeclineØ  CounterofferØ  Promise to reply laterIf you let someone give you anything except one of theseresponses, there is a good chance that the action you want andneed will not be forthcoming leadership and The Art of Conversation, Kim Krisco
  30. 30. Dealing With Non-responsesMany replies you will get are actually vague non-responsesØ  I’ll think about itØ  I’ll look into thatØ  I’ll tryØ  That’s a great ideaØ  As soon as I can get to itØ  That’s outside of my control, but I’ll see what I can doØ  I’ll see what my boss says leadership and The Art of Conversation, Kim Krisco
  31. 31. The Enrollment ProcessØ  Step 1: Connect with the person or group you are enrolling –  what are one or two things the people I am enrolling are committed to? –  What ways have I demonstrated my commitment?Ø  Step 2: Share your personal commitment, and connect their commitment with yours. –  What commitment is driving, or behind my effort? –  What are the ways my successful efforts will satisfy both their commitment and my ownØ  Step 3: Allow the people you are enrolling to involve themselves in the process. –  How do I expect people to respond to what has been said? –  How will I react, and what will I say, when they do respond? –  How would like them to respond? leadership and The Art of Conversation, Kim Krisco
  32. 32. The Enrollment ProcessØ  Step 4: Once you feel you have made your connection, move on to your request. –  Exactly what do I want, exactly when, and exactly whom do I want it from? –  What will happen or stop happening if I get what I want, and when will it start or stop happening?Ø  Step 5: Get a committed response. –  What are four proper responses I will accept?Ø  Step 6: Summarize the conversation and the outcomes –  again, how will granting my request enable my commitments and theirs to be realized? leadership and The Art of Conversation, Kim Krisco
  33. 33. Principles For Communicating With People Ø All People are motivated. We cannot motivate them. We can only guide them by their motivations. Ø People do things for their own reasons; not for Yours Or mine. Show people what they want and they will move Heaven and Earth to get it. Ø People change because of pain. When the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing, People will change. Ø The key to all effective communication is identification. When something becomes personal, It Becomes interesting. Ø The best way to get people to pay attention to you is to pay attention to them. Little things mean a lot. By Nido R. Qubein
  34. 34. Principles For Communicating With PeopleØ Pride is a powerful motivator. Everybody is proud of something.Ø You cannot change people; only their behaviors. Attack the behavior; not the person.Ø The workers perception becomes the supervisors reality. What they see is what you get.Ø You consistently get the behaviors you consistently expect and reinforce. Reinforcement can be positive or negative.Ø We all judge ourselves by our motives; but we judge others by their actions. Any of us can do anything we can convince ourselves we are justified in doing.By Nido R. Qubein
  35. 35. The Meaning Of Your CommunicationWisdom has two parts: 1) Having a lot to say, 2) And not saying it.What does it take to create win-win solutions?Ø  We need to focus on needs and interests rather than wants and positions.Ø  We need to be honest about our wants and needs, then discover the other persons wants and needs.Ø  Attitude and belief are critical to the success of this process.Ø  What principles do you base your words and actions on?Ø  What are your values and beliefs?Ø  What is your purpose in life, your personal mission?     This is the starting point for all your communications with yourself and others.
  36. 36. .Thank You
  37. 37. Now I can see what you are Practice Activity I really feel excited saying There are so many things that I can see myself doing Vc KVc I would probably And I have express it this to ask myself way how this affects me Ac Aid But those past experiences are hard to forget I remember you said just those words Vr Ar
  38. 38. You Have The PowerSeven Conversational PrinciplesØ  Be aware of the power of conversation and pay close attention to how you speak and listenØ  Don’t dwell on past-domain conversations; use them to establish a connection and then move onØ  Be aware of, manage, and change the broad invisible unspoken conversations that determine the way people see and interpret the world. leadership and The Art of Conversation, Kim Krisco
  39. 39. You Have The PowerSeven Conversational Principles continued...Ø  Shift the conversation first from the past to the future and then to the presentØ  Manage your listening and that of others by couching and by substituting affirmative for reactive listeningØ  Distinguish between those things that exist in substance and those that exist in language, and act appropriatelyØ  Consciously and intentionally manage and shape your image as someone people listen to attentively leadership and The Art of Conversation, Kim Krisco