Communicating Forgiveness<br />
What does it mean to forgive?<br />
Is forgiveness an emotion or a behavior?<br />Both:<br />	Behavior = “I forgive you”<br />Emotion = Moving from anger to a...
Why should we forgive?<br />
Correlates of Forgiveness<br />Cognitive Complexity (+)<br />Positive Affect (+)<br />Rumination (-)<br />Vengeance (-)<br...
Other Correlates:<br />Anger, Depression, Anxiety, & Satisfaction<br />
Are some people more forgiving than others?<br />
State vs. Trait<br />
State vs. Trait<br />How we get to Forgiveness<br />
State vs. Trait<br />Our disposition to forgive across all situations<br />
Heartland Forgiveness Scale<br />3 Domains of Forgiveness<br />Self<br />Others<br />Situation<br />Predicts about 22-44% ...
Stages To Forgiveness<br />
Three areas of Forgiveness<br />Cognitive <br />Emotional<br />Behavioral <br />
Stage 1 – Impact of the Event<br />
Stage 1<br />Cognitive – Our relationship is out of balance<br />Emotional – Overwhelmed<br />Behavioral – I want my partn...
Stage 2  Meaning Construction<br />
Stage 2<br />Cognitive – Why did he do this to me?<br />Emotional – I am in touch with my emotions<br />Behavioral – I beg...
Stage 3 - Moving On<br />
Stage 3<br />Cognitive – I can see beyond the transgression<br />Emotional – I am no longer angry<br />Behavioral – I know...
Four Factors to Predict Forgiveness<br />Personality<br />Characteristics of the relationship<br />Characteristics of the ...
Features of the transgression<br />
What are your Unforgivable Transgressions?<br />
How should we apologize?<br />
How would you want to find out about the transgression?<br />
Disclosing the Transgression<br />Unsolicited 3rd Party (friend told you)<br />Red-Handed (caught him in the act)<br />Int...
Negative Responsibility Attributions<br />Social-Cognitive <br />Model<br />-<br />Relational Quality<br />-<br />Forgiven...
The Dark Side of Forgiveness<br />Why might the act of forgiving be detrimental to a relationship?<br />
The Dark Side of Forgiveness<br />Apology = humiliation<br />Forgiveness = weakness<br />
Next Class<br />Chapter 15<br />Final Exam<br />May 5  12:30<br />Pick up a Blue Book from the book store<br />Open Notes...
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Ipc lesson plan 19 forgiveness

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Ipc lesson plan 19 forgiveness

  1. 1. Communicating Forgiveness<br />
  2. 2. What does it mean to forgive?<br />
  3. 3. Is forgiveness an emotion or a behavior?<br />Both:<br /> Behavior = “I forgive you”<br />Emotion = Moving from anger to acceptance<br />
  4. 4. Why should we forgive?<br />
  5. 5. Correlates of Forgiveness<br />Cognitive Complexity (+)<br />Positive Affect (+)<br />Rumination (-)<br />Vengeance (-)<br />Hostility<br />
  6. 6. Other Correlates:<br />Anger, Depression, Anxiety, & Satisfaction<br />
  7. 7. Are some people more forgiving than others?<br />
  8. 8. State vs. Trait<br />
  9. 9. State vs. Trait<br />How we get to Forgiveness<br />
  10. 10. State vs. Trait<br />Our disposition to forgive across all situations<br />
  11. 11. Heartland Forgiveness Scale<br />3 Domains of Forgiveness<br />Self<br />Others<br />Situation<br />Predicts about 22-44% of the variance<br />
  12. 12. Stages To Forgiveness<br />
  13. 13. Three areas of Forgiveness<br />Cognitive <br />Emotional<br />Behavioral <br />
  14. 14. Stage 1 – Impact of the Event<br />
  15. 15. Stage 1<br />Cognitive – Our relationship is out of balance<br />Emotional – Overwhelmed<br />Behavioral – I want my partner to pay<br />
  16. 16. Stage 2 Meaning Construction<br />
  17. 17. Stage 2<br />Cognitive – Why did he do this to me?<br />Emotional – I am in touch with my emotions<br />Behavioral – I begin to collect information on the transgression<br />
  18. 18. Stage 3 - Moving On<br />
  19. 19. Stage 3<br />Cognitive – I can see beyond the transgression<br />Emotional – I am no longer angry<br />Behavioral – I know where the relationship is going<br />
  20. 20. Four Factors to Predict Forgiveness<br />Personality<br />Characteristics of the relationship<br />Characteristics of the transgression<br />Socio-cognitive determinates of forgiveness<br />
  21. 21. Features of the transgression<br />
  22. 22. What are your Unforgivable Transgressions?<br />
  23. 23. How should we apologize?<br />
  24. 24. How would you want to find out about the transgression?<br />
  25. 25. Disclosing the Transgression<br />Unsolicited 3rd Party (friend told you)<br />Red-Handed (caught him in the act)<br />Interrogation (grill him till he confesses)<br />Unsolicited Confession (he tells you)<br />The Best Predictor of Forgiveness<br />Yet…<br />43% reported that the discovery led to the termination of the relationship (higher for the opther three<br />(Afifi, Falato, & Weiner, 2001)<br />
  26. 26. Negative Responsibility Attributions<br />Social-Cognitive <br />Model<br />-<br />Relational Quality<br />-<br />Forgiveness<br />+<br />+<br />Empathy for Transgressor<br />(Fincham et al., 2002)<br />
  27. 27. The Dark Side of Forgiveness<br />Why might the act of forgiving be detrimental to a relationship?<br />
  28. 28. The Dark Side of Forgiveness<br />Apology = humiliation<br />Forgiveness = weakness<br />
  29. 29. Next Class<br />Chapter 15<br />Final Exam<br />May 5  12:30<br />Pick up a Blue Book from the book store<br />Open Notes, not Open Book<br />Essay style.<br />For preparation:<br />Know three or four theories that we have discussed in class really well.<br />Organize your class notes. You can also refer to the slides and lectures posted.<br />Think application!<br />

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