How to Stubbornly Refuse to Feel Ashamed of Anything From Audio Tape from Albert Ellis, PhD Presented by Ricardo Huiza
Introduction <ul><li>How to stubbornly refuse to feel ashamed of anything </li></ul><ul><li>RET (Rational Emotive Therapy)...
Introduction <ul><li>Physical manifestations </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Health problems, anxiety, worry </li></ul></ul><ul><li>...
The Nature of Shame <ul><li>Concrete and Specific: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>The source of shame starts with the proposition, ...
The Nature of Shame <ul><li>Therefore…”I can’t be deviant; I cannot be imperfect.” </li></ul><ul><li>Phenomenon:  “No Exit...
Confusion of the Self <ul><li>We are bombarded with too many competing priorities and we err in the side of “trying to be ...
So…how do we handle this? <ul><li>Distractions </li></ul><ul><li>Escape </li></ul><ul><li>Diversion </li></ul><ul><li>Posi...
A more effective tool <ul><li>Question/Dispute </li></ul><ul><ul><li>“I did this wrongly and that is bad..” Well, that is ...
Convince Yourself… <ul><li>Ask many times why is it bad? Why is this shameful?  </li></ul><ul><li>If your answers gravitat...
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How to stubbornly refuse to feel ashamed of anything

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How to stubbornly refuse to feel ashamed of anything

  1. 1. How to Stubbornly Refuse to Feel Ashamed of Anything From Audio Tape from Albert Ellis, PhD Presented by Ricardo Huiza
  2. 2. Introduction <ul><li>How to stubbornly refuse to feel ashamed of anything </li></ul><ul><li>RET (Rational Emotive Therapy) </li></ul><ul><li>Definition of Shame </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Guilt, Incompetence, Dishonor, Disgrace, embarrassment </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Shyness, lack of intimacy </li></ul></ul>
  3. 3. Introduction <ul><li>Physical manifestations </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Health problems, anxiety, worry </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Basic Cause </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Philosophic: “I must achieve or I must be perfect.” </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Then the conclusion…”I must be shameful as a result of this causation.” </li></ul></ul>
  4. 4. The Nature of Shame <ul><li>Concrete and Specific: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>The source of shame starts with the proposition, “I must be loved, popular, perfect,…and therefore I can’t be criticized.” </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>The other source of shame, “I must achieve sainthood, godliness, pedestal effect; I must achieve adequacy on everything.” </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>“I must achieve greatness, godliness, perfections” </li></ul></ul>
  5. 5. The Nature of Shame <ul><li>Therefore…”I can’t be deviant; I cannot be imperfect.” </li></ul><ul><li>Phenomenon: “No Exit Phenomenon” because individual demands himself to unrealistic demands. </li></ul><ul><ul><li>I must be a conqueror; I must be perfect. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>I can be so-so but not too liberal/perceived as week. </li></ul></ul>
  6. 6. Confusion of the Self <ul><li>We are bombarded with too many competing priorities and we err in the side of “trying to be perfect.” </li></ul><ul><li>Inadequacies are the result of unrealistic expectations expressed in our every day lives. </li></ul>
  7. 7. So…how do we handle this? <ul><li>Distractions </li></ul><ul><li>Escape </li></ul><ul><li>Diversion </li></ul><ul><li>Positive Thinking/Wishful Thinking </li></ul><ul><li>Over-compensation </li></ul><ul><li>Meditation/Yoga </li></ul><ul><li>Goofiness </li></ul><ul><li>Affirmations/Convincing yourself </li></ul><ul><li>Calming Techniques </li></ul><ul><li>Therapeutic Interventions </li></ul>
  8. 8. A more effective tool <ul><li>Question/Dispute </li></ul><ul><ul><li>“I did this wrongly and that is bad..” Well, that is an assumption. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>“Oh my god, what a bizarre fantasy!” Well, what is bizarre about fantasies, they are bizarre. </li></ul></ul>
  9. 9. Convince Yourself… <ul><li>Ask many times why is it bad? Why is this shameful? </li></ul><ul><li>If your answers gravitate to a person or a group of people, ask if they are the source of shame and break the spell. </li></ul><ul><li>Is it shameful because somebody else thinks is shameful? </li></ul>

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