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One of the things I resist the most is being disrespected. It would probably take a great deal of therapy to understand exactly why being condescended to is such a trigger but I am not alone.
In a twenty year study of violence in prisons the number one phrase associated with acts of violence was disrespect. The psychologists Martin Daly and Margo Wilson estimated that two-thirds of all murders were the result of men feeling that they had been disrespected and acting to save face[i]. Being disrespected activates a primitive sense of insecurity and insignificance. We are not unlike the average member of a baboon tribe who looks to the alpha male to affirm their importance every 20 to 30 seconds.
William James described it best when he said “The deepest craving in human nature is the carving to be appreciated”. The flip side of that would be the biggest “dis” in the world is to be disrespected.
I had seldom experienced deliberate disrespect until I was 50. I had been a manager almost from the moment I left college managing teams of 50 to 300 since I was 25. I earned my CSP the first five years as a professional speaker and the high of engaging an audience as a keynote humorist is the ultimate in appreciation.
But my wife worked for a board. She came from a government position so she was no newbie to condescension but I seriously wanted to hurt some people. I know that even imagining an attack on another is unhealthy and there will be things in life that are simply unfair but I do think “that whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.” The US Declaration of Independence.
You can replace government with management and add increasing performance, engagement and innovation to the last line but the principles remain the same. If you are not living the life you deserve to live, are not treated in the way you deserve to be treated YOU need to change it.
Sustainable transformation of any kind begins with awareness so I have compiled a short slideshow of 15 Costs of Cultures Corrupted by “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” Institutionalized Ignorance. This list has nothing to do with sexual orientation but the same kind of organic inanity practiced by coercive cultures. I am sure this is just the beginning of a comprehensive list of the denigrating dysfunctionality and would encourage you to add you own to the list that we might establish a more complete picture of the disadvantages of despotism