Connecting Happiness and Success - Hands On Analogy


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A guide to becoming successful through happiness. This is a Hands-on speech providing physical examples of how happiness and success are connected and how you should work on both every day. Happier people are more successful. This presentations provides instruction for how to be happier and have that add to your success. We use an analogy of Happiness Moments caught in a Happiness cup with a flag representing our definition of success. Arts and Crafts meets Happiness and Success.

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  • My name is Ray White. I have spent the past 2 years writing a book called Connecting Happiness and Success and it is currently with the editor. We hope to publish in June of this year.
  • Who wants to be successful Who want to be happy?Does anyone not want to be both successful and happy?So let’s talk about how to be both.
  • My name is Ray White. I have spent the past 2 years writing a book called Connecting Happiness and Success and it is currently with the editor. We hope to publish in June of this year.
  • The book covers 7 basic concepts to help guide you on how to Create Success through Happiness.But rather than taking you through each step, we are going to use an analogy.
  • So we are going to learn how to connect happiness and success with Arts and Crafts.
  • One quick note: The book and this presentation are based on new fields of study called Positive Psychology and the Science of Happiness. I won’t share all the science because we don’t have time, but be assured that everything we discuss today is based on science.
  • We all want to be successful. We want to raise our flag of success. Everyone raise your flag of success. Now look around. What’s wrong with this picture. Everyone’s success looks the same. To raise our flag of success we need to define what success means to us. Write down your definition of success. Then represent it on your flag with words or symbols.
  • My definition of Success is Helping people be happy and successful. Show them the Hint SheetsTake a few moments to imagine yourself as successful. What are those feelings? Where do they come from? How are you interacting with the people around you? What have you done or accomplished everyday to get here? What happened today that made it a successful day? What symbols represent your success? Smiling faces, location, graduation ceremony, bank account balance, house, people who are surrounding you, etc.
  • Here are some examples from other people. Write your definition of success. Make it something you can evaluate your actions against daily for a long period of time. If you are not sure how you would define success, start with a simple concept. Family, friends, hobby, feeling, location or surroundings.For those of you that are struggling with this exercise – I have posted the chapter on writing your definition of success on my web site. Or you can email and I will walk you through it.
  • Now that we have our flag of success, we need to plant it so we can now be happy. Of course we all know that once we reach success, we will become happy.
  • {ask them to plant their flag in the happiness cup. It will fall over}Unfortunately we have been so busy working on our success we haven’t taken the time to fill our happiness cup. So our flag of success won’t stand up. We can’t be successful or happy. Happiness and success are connected. We analyzed over 500 definitions of happiness and success. The #1 concept mentioned in definitions of success was contentment which included satisfaction and fulfillment and the #2 concept was others, helping others and making a difference in someone else’s life. Guess what were the #1 and #2 concepts mentioned in the definition of happiness? Contentment and others. They are the same. The #3 concept mentioned in definitions of Success is achievement. The 4th is …happiness.Success and happiness are intertwined in our lives by similar thoughts, feelings, and aspirations. We need and want both together.But to have both, we need to work on both. Instead of just focusing on success and delaying happiness, we need to be happy pursing success. So let’s go back and fill our happiness cup.
  • Here are a few facts about how being happier actually helps us be more successful. So let’s go back and fill our happiness cup.
  • So let’s build our happiness.These are moments of happiness. We collect them daily to fill our happiness cup. What are some happy moments we might use to fill our happiness cup?{Add a moment of happiness for each suggestion}
  • Don’t let daily moments of happiness pass you by. Capture them when they occur. {Throw a “Moment of Happiness” over your shoulder}When was the last time you shared an Ice Cream? Add a “Moment of Happiness”Do you stop cherish that moments of Happiness? Add a “Moment of Happiness”How many times has someone smiled at you because you made a difference in their lives. Add a “Moment of Happiness”What about a kiss on the cheek that tells you that you matter. Add a “Moment of Happiness”
  • One thing that adds to happiness is pleasure. These are moments of pleasure. They are like happiness but with strings attached. Happiness is internal. We talked about Contentment, fulfillment, and satisfaction. Pleasure comes from external sources like playing xBox, eating, earning and spending money, and just having a good time.Moments of pleasure increase our happiness, but they can get overused.Pick up a moment of happiness in one hand and moment of pleasure in the other. Notice the weight and heft of happiness vs. the light feeling of pleasure. Happiness is more solid. It is a solid internal feeling of Satisfaction, Contentment, and Fulfillment.More happiness is great. But you can overdo pleasure.
  • Because pleasure connects you to happiness and is part of your happiness….{Wrap the string around the mast}Until it becomes too much. {Pull the mast and happiness cup over with the string}
  • Stare at your cup……now stare at the person next to you……Now stare at the leader of the group…In any of these cases did you notice moments of happiness filling your cup? No! Because it is up to you to fill your cup.How many people chose to be here this morning? …Add a moment of happiness for autonomy.How many of you chose to go to UNT? …Add a moment of happiness for autonomy.How many of you chose your major? …Add a moment of happiness for autonomy.How many of you chose your classes? …Add a moment of happiness for autonomy.Take Control of Your life! That includes your happiness and your success.
  • How many people chose to be here this morning? …Add a moment of happiness for autonomy.How many of you chose to go to UNT? …Add a moment of happiness for autonomy.How many of you chose your major? …Add a moment of happiness for autonomy.How many of you chose your classes? …Add a moment of happiness for autonomy.Take Control of Your life! That includes your happiness and your success.
  • Think of a recent failure. You failed a test, didn’t complete a project on time, just didn’t get something done. Whose fault was it?If you said yours, add a “moment of happiness” – you are in control of your failures as well as your successes. You can’t own the success if you don’t own the failure.Take Control of Your life! That includes your happiness and your success.If you we fail a test, we can blame the professor or the roommate that kept us up all night. But that makes it out of our control. If we admit we failed because we didn’t study or didn’t attend class, then we have control of our lives and we can take a different action.If it is their fault – then by definition we are powerless and helpless.The same thing is true for our successes. You are all very successful. You are in an elite program at a great University. That is better than 90% of other people in the world. It was not luck or something anyone can do. You are special you should own your successes. Getting an A on a paper or test or making a new friend. Own your successes and you will feel more in control of your life.
  • Do you exercise at least 3 times per week? – add a “Moment of Happiness”Did you get more than 7 hours of sleep last night? – add a “Moment of Happiness”Did you think positively about a recent event? – add a “Moment of Happiness”Are you in good health - – add 3 “Moments of Happiness”Did you stop to savor and appreciate your surroundings or a good meal or a good life? – add a “Moment of Happiness”Have you recently made good choices with your eating habits? – add a “Moment of Happiness”Take Control of Your life! That includes your happiness and your success.
  • Close your eyes and think of 3 things you can be grateful for.Now open your eyes and add a “moment of happiness” for each one.
  • Ok another test: How can you be Healthier, Happier and Live Longer?Positive Relationships fill our Happiness CupsIf someone loves you – add a “Moment of Happiness”
  • If you are married or have a significant other – add a “Moment of Happiness”
  • If you have good friends – add a “moment of happiness” for each one.
  • Volunteer. Help Others. Give yourself 2 “Moments of Happiness” for any volunteer work you have done this month.
  • Turn to the person on your left and put a “Moment of Happiness” in their cup.You just added to their cup of happiness. How did that make you feel?The people on the far left side of the aisle – how did you feel? Did anyone add to your cup? Do you still feel happy?People on the right side of the aisle – you didn’t get to add to anyone’s cup. How do you feel? Did you miss out? Reach out and give someone a “Moment of Happiness.”Everyone add 2 “Moments of happiness” because giving really is better than receiving.
  • {Knock over the happiness cup}What do we do when tragedy strikes? How do we keep from losing all of our happiness?The answer is a Higher Purpose.
  • We all need a Higher Purpose. Something bigger than ourselves to work towards.Something that guides us when things are not going as well as planned. Look for lids and the Higher Purpose stickers.
  • Something bigger than ourselves. Is the ant taking on this drop of water for his own personal gain, or is there something bigger, like the colony he is focused on. As humans we have similar needs and drives.We all need something bigger than ourselves. Whether it be religion, kids, a better life, or helping the homeless.
  • We need a reason Why? If we have to miss something fun to stay home and study we need to know why. It is not just so we can study, it is so we can graduate, so we can get a good job and so we can have better lives. Missing out to study makes more sense when we know the “why” is to build a better life.Duhigg in The Power of Habits talks about alcoholics who identified a higher purpose were able to sustain their abstinence.
  • So how do you find your purpose?My purpose is to help other people be successful and happy.My mom’s purpose comes from a Mother Theresa quote – Leave things better than you found them.I have a vendor we used to work with who has a giant purpose – he recycles soaps and shampoos from hotels and provides them to 3rd world countries where cleanliness is a major health challenge.A friend told me about someone with a little smaller purpose. His kids wanted to help homeless people. So rather than giving them money, they fill 1 gallon plastic bags with socks, gum, toothbrushes, gatorade, and several other helpful items. They keep the bags in their back seats and the kids get to throw them to the homeless people. So back to how you find your purpose:Think about – what you care about deeply. Make a list.What are your strengths. What are you really good at.Who is just one person you can help?Don’t try to solve world hunger or take on some giant purpose that overwhelms you. Something small works just fine.Lastly – Take a few minutes each day to contemplate. Prayer, meditation, or even just 15 minutes of silence can help give you the perspective that there are bigger things that you are meant to do. Once you have written your purpose. Put the label on the lid and put the lid on the cup. Put your flag of success into the happiness cup.
  • My Higher Purpose is Helping others be happy and successful. Take a shot at writing your Higher Purpose. If you are not sure write something simple like helping others, raising a happy family, or adding value to my company. Here are some examples from other people.{Pause for 5 minutes while people write their Higher Purpose}
  • Put your lids on your cup and plant your flag.Notice that this makes your happiness and success more secure.
  • Put you lids on your Higher Purpose and Happiness doesn’t mean there will be no paid or bad feelings.
  • Now we have a cup full of happiness, a definition for our flag of success, and a Higher Purpose to help hold it all together. Next we need our goals or milestones. I use the word milestones because goals have an end point. When you reach a goal you stop. Milestones are the same as goals, only the connotation is that there just one more step along our journey of life. We never reach an end point. We have to be successful and happy every day.
  • Here are some examples of milestones:Graduation, getting a job, getting a new car, getting married, having kids, etc.
  • On the milestones card – write 3 milestones that support your definition of success. Remember milestones are the same as goals. Write 3 goals that support your definition of success. In other words, what 3 things can you do to become successful?
  • So every day, implement one “Moment of Happiness”.Every day, take one step towards your definition of success.
  • Let me stress it again. Success is not one big win. It is the sum of small efforts repeated everyday.
  • You can find more information at our web site.You can also try our daily happiness app. The URL’s are on the back of your cup.
  • You can find more information at our web site.You can also try our daily happiness app. The URL’s are on the back of your cup.
  • One more thing. This is just a Happiness and Success Starter Kit. Take it home with you. Practice every day. But dream big! Believe in your potential. Eventually you will have a Mega-Happiness and Success kit.
  • I believe in you! You are not here by accident. You can be happy and successful.Choose to be happy!Choose to be authentic!Create successful habits!You control your life.Thank you for your time. Please let me know if I can help.
  • Connecting Happiness and Success - Hands On Analogy

    1. 1. Who wants to be Successful? Who wants to be Happy?
    2. 2. with Arts and Crafts
    3. 3. = Flag of Success Step 1 – Add your definition of Success
    4. 4. = Flag of Success Example
    5. 5. Examples: Definitions of Success “Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.” John Wooden “Success is being content, happy and satisfied with who you are, and continuously striving and challenging yourself to be the best person you can be.” “Success is knowing at the end of each day that I did my best and I made a positive impact on those around me.” “My definition of success is achieving true self-fulfillment so that I can feel happiness and peace of mind about my past, present and future situation.” “My definition of success is to encourage growth and passion in all of my pursuits, relationships and myself.”
    6. 6. = Plant Your Flag of Success Example
    7. 7. = Happiness Cup
    8. 8. Happier people: • Get more job interviews • Get better jobs with more autonomy, meaning, and variety • Show superior job performance and productivity • Are better at managerial jobs • Are less likely to burnout • Run organizations that are more productive and more profitable • Make more money From the book Happiness at Work
    9. 9. Moments of Happiness =
    10. 10. Seize Moments of Happiness
    11. 11. = Moments of Pleasure “…pleasure is external and happiness is internal. Pleasure is an event, while happiness is a state of mind.” Devin
    12. 12. …Until it doesn’t
    13. 13. 1. Stare at your cup Take Control of Your Life!
    14. 14. Autonomy Take Control of Your Life!
    15. 15. Own your… Consequences …and your Successes Take Control of Your Life!
    16. 16. What else do you control hat adds to your happiness?
    17. 17. How can you be:  Happier Positive Relationships  Healthier  and Live Longer
    18. 18. Finding Your Purpose 1. What do you care about deeply? 2. What do you love to do? 3. How can you use your strengths and values to make a difference in someone else’s life? 4. Who is one person you can help?
    19. 19. Examples: Higher Purpose Live and mentor an authentic, adventurous, spiritual life, while being a catalyst for positive change. Energize, connect, and inspire purpose in others. Be a spokesman for wildlife issues and help people connect their daily actions to saving the wildlife on this planet. Enliven, encourage, and re-inspire the love of music for children in public schools. Be a positive role model & help people.
    20. 20. = Higher Purpose Helping others be Successful and Happy
    21. 21. There will be pain. Happiness includes the bad feelings. But it also includes the hope that eventually they will fade and we will be happy again..
    22. 22. Milestones = Goals
    23. 23. Write 3 milestones that support your Definition of Success
    24. 24. Implement Daily 1. One “Moment of Happiness” Every Day 2. One Step Towards Your Definition of Success Every Day
    25. 25. “Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.” — Robert Collier
    26. 26.
    27. 27. Daily Happiness App
    28. 28. Happiness and Success Starter Kit
    29. 29. Practice Happiness and Success Everyday! “Success is a Journey …not a destination” -Arthur Ashe 44