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Successful Marriage    Preparation          © 2002 International Educational Foundation   IEF is responsible for the conte...
Loving Relationships &Family Are a Basic LifeGoal                          © IEF 2
Personal Benefits ofMarriage                Longerlife                Health                Happiness                I...
Personal Benefits ofMarriage                 Wealth                 Resilience                 Productivity            ...
Best Environment forChildren  “A nucl famil of father mot and         ear     y          ,    her   theirchil en …is stil ...
“I wo u l d g l a d l ygiveup my millionsforo n e m a r i ta ls u c c e s s .”                 J . PaulGe tty             ...
Are TheyBalanced?   Career       Marriage  Preparatio   Preparation      n                      © IEF 7
Real SuccessMeansGood Families             Rated most              important source              of satisfaction         ...
MarriageEducationPopularWorldwide             High school              and              university              classes  ...
MarriageEducation &CharacterEducation          Preparation for lasting          love —          Rationale for          ado...
Strongly Desired    78% of teenagers consider     m arriage and fam ily very     im portant       Source: 1 995 Survey, I...
“Forone human being to l  ove another Thatis per        :           haps the mostdifficul of al ourtasks…”            t   ...
Value of Integrity           Basis of keeping            marriage            commitments           Foundation for       ...
Integrity             Clear moral              values             Living up to              them             Self-disci...
PersonalDevelopment         Cultivating          interests and          talents         Building self-          respect ...
Take PersonalResponsibility          For one’s circumstances          For one’s strengths           and weaknesses      ...
“The mostimpor char                tant  acteristic of a mar iageabl per is the         r       e son habitof happiness.” ...
Respect forParents  Emulating parents’ strength   Adopting their good values                                 © IEF 18
Learn from ParentsAbout the OppositeSex   Seeking advice concerning a    mate                          © IEF 19
Value ofAbstinence              Supports               personal               development              Protects         ...
Honor Sexual    Boundaries                     Arous al                  Relatio             Se xual                      ...
Sexual Desire & Self–ControlSexual Desires     Sexual Activity                    Controlling it isNormal & healthy       ...
Support AbstinencethroughMedia Discernment            Recognize             profit motive            Check against      ...
Make theCommitmentto Abstinence                © IEF 24
RelationalResources     Healthy      friendships     Conflict resolution      skills     Service                       ...
Healthy FriendshipsReduce Love Problems    Unhealthy attachments      Poor relationships     with elders and peers        ...
Invest in FriendshipsOver Time            Regular shared             activity             and conversation               ...
Same Gender Friends                      © IEF 28
Opposite GenderFriends           Relating with            modesty and            respect                            © IEF...
Lasting Love – Art to BeLearned          Requires          virtues,        insights and       © IEF 30
Knowledge             Insight into love             Information about              marriage                             ...
Insight Into Love               Love is an active verb                Not just a state                 or feeling        ...
Discerning True Love    True Love      Infatuation  Internal        External   focus            focus  Deepened       ...
“ Falling In Love”Overvalued by PopularCulture             Romance by             itself – Not             enough to susta...
Value of InformationAbout Marriage            Comprehend             marriage             commitment            Anticipa...
RecognizeComponents ofRelationships       Compatibil        ity       Commitme        nt       Intimacy       Passion ...
Anticipate Phases ofMarriage           1. Infatuation           2. Conflict           3. Recommitment and                 ...
Learn GoodCommunication   Listening and speaking    effectively              © IEF 38
Value ofConflict Resolution Skills             Marriage is stressful              Destroyed by               unresolved c...
Avoid RelationshipPoisons       1. Criticism       2. Contempt       3.       Defensivenes       s       4.       Stonewal...
Foster Reconciliation             Make amends             Practice              forgiveness             Find gratitude ...
Service         Broadens         the         experience         of giving                      © IEF 42
Lessons ofService              Love requires effort              To give is to receive                                 ©...
Strengthen Relationshipsthrough Service           Value of higher            purpose                              © IEF 44
Selecting a MarriagePartnerLess Successful         More       —            Successful —   Focus on           Focus on  Out...
Qualities MostValued byThose SeekingPartners            Physical             attractiveness            Economic potentia...
Qualities MostValued byMarried Couples           Caring           Honesty           Trust           Fidelity          ...
To Find a Good MarriageProspect — Become OneYourself           “To be loved, be lovable.”                               Ov...
Character —Foundation for StrongMarriage                        © IEF 49
MarriagePreparationEducation HasBenefits           Individual            happiness           Family stability          ...
© IEF 51
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08 smp TIMD-IEF Philosophy 8

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08 smp TIMD-IEF Philosophy 8

  1. 1. Successful Marriage Preparation © 2002 International Educational Foundation IEF is responsible for the content of this presentation only if it has not been altered from the original. © IEF 1
  2. 2. Loving Relationships &Family Are a Basic LifeGoal © IEF 2
  3. 3. Personal Benefits ofMarriage  Longerlife  Health  Happiness  Innergrowth © IEF 3
  4. 4. Personal Benefits ofMarriage  Wealth  Resilience  Productivity © IEF 4
  5. 5. Best Environment forChildren “A nucl famil of father mot and ear y , her theirchil en …is stil today a chil dr l d’s bestguar antee forsuccess.” Brigitte Ber , Sociol ger ogist © IEF 5
  6. 6. “I wo u l d g l a d l ygiveup my millionsforo n e m a r i ta ls u c c e s s .” J . PaulGe tty © IEF 6
  7. 7. Are TheyBalanced? Career Marriage Preparatio Preparation n © IEF 7
  8. 8. Real SuccessMeansGood Families  Rated most important source of satisfaction Sour Col ce: umbia Univer & sity NationalInstitutes of Health  Requires commitment and © IEF 8
  9. 9. MarriageEducationPopularWorldwide  High school and university classes  Mandated by law © IEF 9
  10. 10. MarriageEducation &CharacterEducation Preparation for lasting love — Rationale for adolescents to develop their character © IEF 10
  11. 11. Strongly Desired  78% of teenagers consider m arriage and fam ily very im portant Source: 1 995 Survey, Institute forSocial Resear Univer of Michigan ch, sity © IEF 11
  12. 12. “Forone human being to l ove another Thatis per : haps the mostdifficul of al ourtasks…” t l RainerMar Ril ia ke © IEF 12
  13. 13. Value of Integrity  Basis of keeping marriage commitments  Foundation for self–confidence © IEF 13
  14. 14. Integrity  Clear moral values  Living up to them  Self-discipline © IEF 14
  15. 15. PersonalDevelopment  Cultivating interests and talents  Building self- respect  Managing one’ s feelings  Fostering peace with oneself © IEF 15
  16. 16. Take PersonalResponsibility  For one’s circumstances  For one’s strengths and weaknesses © IEF 16
  17. 17. “The mostimpor char tant acteristic of a mar iageabl per is the r e son habitof happiness.” J u d d a n d Ma r y La n d i s , Building a SuccessfulMarriage © IEF 17
  18. 18. Respect forParents Emulating parents’ strength  Adopting their good values © IEF 18
  19. 19. Learn from ParentsAbout the OppositeSex  Seeking advice concerning a mate © IEF 19
  20. 20. Value ofAbstinence  Supports personal development  Protects against physical, mental and relational risks  Context for © IEF 20
  21. 21. Honor Sexual Boundaries Arous al Relatio Se xual n- ship Male Female change Beginnin Peak Genital Genital s g Hand SimpleProlonged Mutual Sexual Necking Petting Sex PlayHolding Kiss Kiss Intercour se © IEF 21
  22. 22. Sexual Desire & Self–ControlSexual Desires Sexual Activity Controlling it isNormal & healthy normal & healthy © IEF 22
  23. 23. Support AbstinencethroughMedia Discernment  Recognize profit motive  Check against reality © IEF 23
  24. 24. Make theCommitmentto Abstinence © IEF 24
  25. 25. RelationalResources  Healthy friendships  Conflict resolution skills  Service © IEF 25
  26. 26. Healthy FriendshipsReduce Love Problems Unhealthy attachments Poor relationships with elders and peers © IEF 26
  27. 27. Invest in FriendshipsOver Time  Regular shared activity and conversation © IEF 27
  28. 28. Same Gender Friends © IEF 28
  29. 29. Opposite GenderFriends  Relating with modesty and respect © IEF 29
  30. 30. Lasting Love – Art to BeLearned Requires virtues, insights and © IEF 30
  31. 31. Knowledge  Insight into love  Information about marriage © IEF 31
  32. 32. Insight Into Love Love is an active verb  Not just a state or feeling © IEF 32
  33. 33. Discerning True Love True Love Infatuation  Internal  External focus focus  Deepened  Weakened by conflicts by conflicts & & separation separation  Productive  Distracting © IEF 33
  34. 34. “ Falling In Love”Overvalued by PopularCulture Romance by itself – Not enough to sustain marriages and families © IEF 34
  35. 35. Value of InformationAbout Marriage  Comprehend marriage commitment  Anticipate challenges and rewards © IEF 35
  36. 36. RecognizeComponents ofRelationships  Compatibil ity  Commitme nt  Intimacy  Passion © IEF 36
  37. 37. Anticipate Phases ofMarriage 1. Infatuation 2. Conflict 3. Recommitment and cooperation 4. Creativity and service © IEF 37
  38. 38. Learn GoodCommunication  Listening and speaking effectively © IEF 38
  39. 39. Value ofConflict Resolution Skills Marriage is stressful  Destroyed by unresolved conflicts © IEF 39
  40. 40. Avoid RelationshipPoisons 1. Criticism 2. Contempt 3. Defensivenes s 4. Stonewalling © IEF 40
  41. 41. Foster Reconciliation  Make amends  Practice forgiveness  Find gratitude © IEF 41
  42. 42. Service Broadens the experience of giving © IEF 42
  43. 43. Lessons ofService  Love requires effort  To give is to receive © IEF 43
  44. 44. Strengthen Relationshipsthrough Service  Value of higher purpose © IEF 44
  45. 45. Selecting a MarriagePartnerLess Successful More — Successful — Focus on Focus on Outer Traits  Attractiveness Inner Traits  Character  Wealth  Beliefs  Status  Ability to love © IEF 45
  46. 46. Qualities MostValued byThose SeekingPartners  Physical attractiveness  Economic potential  Status © IEF 46
  47. 47. Qualities MostValued byMarried Couples  Caring  Honesty  Trust  Fidelity  Commitment  Willingness to sacrifice  Sense of humor © IEF 47
  48. 48. To Find a Good MarriageProspect — Become OneYourself “To be loved, be lovable.” Ov i d © IEF 48
  49. 49. Character —Foundation for StrongMarriage © IEF 49
  50. 50. MarriagePreparationEducation HasBenefits  Individual happiness  Family stability  National strength © IEF 50
  51. 51. © IEF 51

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