Coaching The Family Business


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How "BulletProof Coaching" works with family businesses to get good family/emotional and business results.

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  • About self Best years of my life spent in the arms of another man’s wife, my mother. Back in the cradle of my Alma Mater, not always the best in my life.
  • Coaching The Family Business

    1. 1. Executive Coaching For Family Businesses Paul W. Anderson, Ph.D. 913-901-9110
    2. 2. Coach <ul><li>The Athletic Coach: </li></ul>
    3. 3. Coach <ul><li>The Vehicle: Gets You From Where You Are To Where You Want To Be. </li></ul>
    4. 4. BulletProof Coach : <ul><li>Timothy the Mouse, Works with Dumbo, the Sad Elephant and Turns “Defect” Into Sustained Success. </li></ul>
    5. 5. The Coaching Process <ul><li>Common elements: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Helps move a “malcontent” from “here” to “there” so they are more satisfied with their lot in life. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>The Political Correct way of talking: </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Help people achieve greater and greater levels of success in their chosen direction of accomplishment. </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Facilitate changes in behavior to achieve goals, not adjust or be content with things as they are. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Is not counseling, but closer to consultation or supervision as a change process. </li></ul></ul>
    6. 6. The Coaching Process <ul><li>Not healing but improving what is. </li></ul><ul><li>Takes existing good behaviors and transforms them into excellent ways of thinking and functioning. </li></ul><ul><li>Centers around goals and desired outcomes. </li></ul><ul><li>With the client’s input, the coach defines (goals), assigns (homework, tasks) and refines (behaviors, skill sets). </li></ul>
    7. 7. BulletProof Coaching <ul><li>Is a process of personal development that enables people to make changes in their lives in such a way as to sustain those changes once made. In simpler terms, how you change determines not only where you end up but, most importantly, whether or not you stay where you got. It's easy to get successful. The hard part is staying successful. </li></ul><ul><li>Must grow success, not get it. </li></ul>
    8. 8. BulletProof Assumption: Success Brings Systemic Imbalance <ul><li>Puts success or change into context. Balancing internal and external realities. Managing transitions and change. </li></ul><ul><li>Success and goal(s) attainment disturbs the systemic balance. </li></ul><ul><li>BulletProofCoaching minimizes the systemic impact and attempts to integrate changes with as little disruption as possible. </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Enter the family system </li></ul></ul>
    9. 9. Family System <ul><li>An organized human collection of parts and processes that mutually and reciprocally interact such that a change in one part or process affects change in all the others. </li></ul><ul><li>To fully understand any given behavior, it has to be understood from within the social context that it maintains and which maintains it. </li></ul><ul><li>“Black Box” Mentality: How not Why. </li></ul>
    10. 10. Assumptions About Family Systems: <ul><li>Systems stay in balance or go extinct. Compensation and Loyalty play major roles in maintaining balance. </li></ul><ul><li>We relive our past through our children. </li></ul><ul><li>All experiences and feelings of a person’s lifetime are retained in the memory of that individual. </li></ul><ul><li>Families function like holograms. The whole is manifested in the parts. There are no secrets: dead or alive, together or apart. </li></ul>
    11. 11. How To Coach A Family Business For Sustained Success: <ul><li>Family Ceilings </li></ul><ul><li>Honor Among Families </li></ul><ul><li>Right Timing and Sequencing of Changes </li></ul><ul><li>Differentiation of Self </li></ul>
    12. 12. Family Ceilings (Every Family Has Them) <ul><li>Who can go How High with Whom , When, Where and By What Means . Boundaries. </li></ul><ul><li>“Don’t get too big for your britches.” or, “Remember Icarus!” Family myths. </li></ul><ul><li>Practically speaking, you can’t breath in the rarified airs of a given family system. No support and lots of misunderstandings. </li></ul><ul><li>“Boundaries violations” evoke loyalty issues. </li></ul>
    13. 13. Honor Among Families <ul><li>Honor: Respect, integrity, recognition of self </li></ul><ul><li>a source of credit or distinction </li></ul><ul><li>esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability </li></ul>
    14. 14. Honor Among Families <ul><li>Start with your elders; parents, aunts, uncles and grandparents as far as you can see. </li></ul><ul><li>Recognize them for who they are or were and are or were not. Family legacies. Rummage around in the family to find what you can use. Map the family emotional landscape; help and hindrances. </li></ul><ul><li>Discuss the desired goals in the council of your elders. Just listen, don’t seek approval. </li></ul>
    15. 15. Honor Among Families <ul><li>Respect and honor the dignity of others to be who they are. You don’t have to understand it, just recognize and respect it. </li></ul><ul><li>Honor of others can leave the door open to honoring self. </li></ul><ul><li>Difficult to be different and connected in families. </li></ul><ul><li>Families like to break down into alliances, take sides: whose like whom, etc. </li></ul>
    16. 16. Sequencing and Timing <ul><li>When to do what with whom and how in the family. Balancing acts. </li></ul><ul><li>Strategic plan of action(s). Think before you leap and plan your leaps. </li></ul><ul><li>Four “S” Words of Successful Change: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Slow </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Small </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Steady </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Secret </li></ul></ul>
    17. 17. Your BulletProof Coach: <ul><li>Knows the strategies to guide you and your family through the “Balancing Acts”. </li></ul><ul><li>Gives you step-by-step plans so that change not only disrupts equilibrium, but re-balances the system at higher levels of functioning. </li></ul><ul><li>It is possible to be different (successful) and stay connected with your family. </li></ul><ul><li>Family ceilings do not have to be your personal limitations. </li></ul>
    18. 18. Executive Coaching For Family Businesses Paul W. Anderson, Ph.D. 913-901-9110