A Piratical Legacy Chapter 23 - Mind Your Own Business

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A Piratical Legacy Chapter 23 - Mind Your Own Business

  1. 1. Chapter 23 – Mind Your Own BusinessWelcome back to A Piratical Legacy - sorry for the delay! William moved in with simself Orikes and they got married in aPreviously, we saw the heiress, Grace, move back to the family double ceremony with Wills twin, Nicholas, who married the alienmanor and marry her sweetheart, Lee. Pseudo-spare Gertie also Green Boolprop. So far, Will and Orikes have one son, Hugo. Nickmoved back home, along with her Bigfoot friend, Andrew. Grace and and Green have talked of adopting a pet or two.Lee ushered in the advent of generation 6 with firstborn son,Coxinga, and then a daughter, Ching Shih. Elsewhere in the neighborhood, the tiger line continues with Angora and Rajah, cousins who live with their families in the Tiger estate.Graces twin sister Susanna also became a parent. Toby is being Also, inquisitive Morgan and her partner Kelly adopted a girl theyraised by his father in Paris, though Anna visits her small son often. named Toshiko.
  2. 2. As you can see, my husband and I were much too busy to actually update either of our stories over the past few months. What with relaxing untilwe got sunburnt on Twikkii Island, computers were the furthest thing from our minds. Add in chasing after a very active little girl (Athena), andyou can see why we didnt bother to write!Actually, we just got swamped with real life stuff. Combined with a bit of writers block... it was hard to get motivated. But now its the new year,my motivation is back, and so well delve into the world of the Buccaneers once more.And now the story continues...
  3. 3. "Now that both of the babies are born, we can finally start our road toeconomic domination of Pirate Island!" Grace said excitedly to her "Whats that, darling?"husband, Lee. "How much you like money!""Everything is going as weve planned!" Lee enthused. "A few morepromotions and Ill have control of most of the local financial "All this talk about money... what do you say we head to thecommunity. Before long well both be tycoons!" bedroom, honey?""You know what I love best about you?" Grace grinned. And they skipped down the hall hand-in-hand, perfectly content.
  4. 4. "Mom n dad are talkin about monies again," Coxinga (Zing) complained loudly from the kitchen. "Somebody pay tention to me!""Theres my little man," Grace said, smiling down at her little boy as she walked into the kitchen. She straightened her clothes self-consciously."What are you still doing up? I thought Andrew would have put you to bed by now, Zing!""Andys workin," Zing said sullenly. "Wish I could workin, Mommy! Den I could makes money too, an buy somefin fun to play wif.""You have lots of very nice toys," Grace said automatically as she scooped Zing into her arms. "Besides, youre getting to be very big now. Soonyoull have to start school, honey."
  5. 5. "Aww... school?" Zing protested while Grace got him ready for bed. "What I do dere?""Well, you can learn to read and write and all kinds of things," Grace shrugged. "School will help you be successful in life. And you can meet otherpeople there too - people your own age!""Biggern Shih?""Just your size!" Grace said. "But Shih is getting big too, you know. Soon shell be walking and talking, probably not long after you start school.""Whens dat?""Oh... not more than a day or two, I think," Grace said. She looked down on her small son proudly. "Youre growing up so fast..."
  6. 6. And indeed, the next day it was Zings birthday. The entire family "Gertie, tell your Bigfoot to please try NOT to burn the house down!"was invited and most of them even showed up! Everybody couldnt Grace pleaded.help but shudder at Maries taste in clothing, but some things neverchanged. "Oh, calm down," Roche said soothingly. "Three more seconds wont lead to anyone bursting into flame, dear. And dont antagonize"Hurry up and sing the birthday song," Andrew said. "My lobster Andrew."thermidor is burning." "Oh... okay," Grace said, lightening up. "Go ahead, dad. You do the"Well, go get it!" Grace said, waving frantically. honours.""No. The birthday ceremony must first be observed." Roche grinned, scooped Zing up in his arms, and approached the cake with the toddler.
  7. 7. "All right!" Zing said enthusiastically, posing for the camera. "Read it and weep, mom n dad! Youre looking at the coolest kid of this generation."And really, he was so adorable nobody could disagree.
  8. 8. Of course, one could argue that the boy-band practicing in the living room was possibly cooler than Zing, but this deity thinks they havent got achance.
  9. 9. "Okay Andrew, being a kid is definitely the best thing that has ever their homes," Andrew agreed solemnly, setting Zing down. "Now,happened to me," Zing said as Andrew swept the lad up in his arms what do you say to a game of SSX3?"for "Birthday Bigfoot Hugs". "Awesome!" Zing crowed. "And Im gonna kick your butt, Andrew!"And why is that, Coxinga?" And if I win, then you have to do my chores for a month!""Now Im finally big enough to do all the things Ive been wanting to "And if I win," Andrew said seriously, "you will have to do mydo for ages," Zing said enthusiastically. "Like play video games! And chores for a month."use the computer! And actually leave the house!" "Race you to the controllers!""It is a shame that Pirate Island society forbids toddlers from leaving
  10. 10. And as Grace cleaned up after the party guests, she reflected that it had been a rather nice party, as befit the potential future heir of the family. Still,she was glad that the festivities were over with because the next morning shed be heading back to the family businesses to get them up to top level.She didnt think it would take very long.Gertie always averred that it was Graces preoccupation that led her to throw out the birthday cake before anyone but Zing had a chance to eat any.
  11. 11. Graces first task in realizing her dream of having 5 Top Businesses was to get the clothing Boutique up to top level. While Mary had done prettywell in running it, Ivy had only used it as a place to woohoo her harem, and Roche had ignored it completely. Grace was determined to see it reachthe top.She was happy to see that Ben Long and Candi were still faithfully coming in to work every day, even though neither of them was ready to bepromoted to manager. With Samara Uglacy on the cash register, Grace was sure the simoleons would be piling in.Although perhaps if the simself customers would be a bit friendlier, it would happen faster.
  12. 12. Still, it was only a few days later when Candi delivered the good news."Congratulations, Grace -- I did a tally of todays stars and we hit level ten!""Awesome!"
  13. 13. Just down the road from the clothing boutique, further celebrations were being observed. In the household founded by Eddie and Tosha Buccaneer,mutant tiger freaks of nature that they were, a pair of children were growing up.
  14. 14. First up was baby Angora Buccaneer, daughter of Pierce (Jack --> Mary --> Ivy --> Bart & De/fireflower314 --> Pierce) and Rani (Jack --> Mary --> Eddie --> Nala --> Rani).
  15. 15. She made a beeline for the family kitten, where she proceeded to be absolutely adorable.Somehow I dont think the kitten appreciated it as much as Angora did. She kept custody of the little white puffball for the rest of the evening.
  16. 16. And before long, little Angora had grown from toddler to child. As far as everyone could tell, she looked an awful lot like her grandfather, Bart,right down to her nose!
  17. 17. The other child was the one who would carry on the tiger lineage. Shere Khan Buccaneer was quite possibly the most adorable of the tiger childrenthe family had yet produced. He was a very nice mixture of both sides of his family: his father, Rajah (Jack --> Mary --> Eddie --> Nala --> Rajah)and his mother, Moll Thayer (Jack --> Mary --> Jack --> April & Ben/Blite27 --> Moll).
  18. 18. "Arr! This be beneath me dignity, ye scurvy rapscallion!""Bear has a flavr!" Khan giggled as he chewed on Grandpa Jacks ear. "Nom nom nom!""Avast! Whyre ye just starin at me bein despoiled, mate?"Because I think its adorable."Yer a cruel deity, missus."
  19. 19. And it wasnt long before it was Khans birthday yet again. His entire family showed up for this event as well.
  20. 20. "So, Im one-eighth simself, right?" Khan asked his very young-looking grandfather."The math looks right," Ben agreed."So... I can has simself superpowers?" Khan asked eagerly. "Like Superman? Or Wolverine?""Uhh... youll have to ask Sarah about that," Ben shrugged, looking directly at me. "This is her world and I have no idea what, if any, powerssimselves and their offspring get in this world.""Oh," Khan said, looking a bit disappointed. "Well, I guess I can ask the goddess when she gets back from vacation. But its not that important. Imglad you came to my birthday party, grandpa!"
  21. 21. Both Angora and Khan were only children, but they never really felt like it. Since they grew up in the same household, they were as close asbrother and sister despite their cousinly relationship.
  22. 22. They also had a lot of other friends. It wasnt unusual for them to bring people home from school with them."Youre it!" Robin giggled, and ran off in the opposite direction."What?" Angora laughed. She whirled around in the opposite direction and set off after her schoolmate.
  23. 23. "Aww... why wont anyone play catch with me?" Shere Khan "Oh well... if you have to go home I guess I can play with Khan. Seecomplained, waving his softball in aggravation. "Cmon, guys! Is can you at school tomorrow, Robin."be play time nao pleas?" "See ya!""I have to go home now anyway," Robin shrugged. "Ndainye getsmad when Im late for dinner. Why dont you play with him, Angie? "Meh. Do not want," Khan said, putting away his baseball. "Lets goHes your cousin." inside.""Yeah, but hes a boy, and hes youngern us," Angora complained. "Okay."
  24. 24. "Do you know how to play this game?" Angora asked her cousin. shrieked, pointing behind Angora. "Its ceiling cat!""Nope! Do you?" "What?" Angora asked, turning around to look."I think you have to kind of move around the little pieces," Angora With a chuckle, Khan moved around a bunch of the pieces whilesaid. "Some of them can only move in some ways, and others can Angoras back was turned.only move in different ways, but I dont know which ones movewhich ways." "Hey! You cheated!" Angora yelled when she noticed."Me neither," Khan said. He scowled at the board. "Hey, look!" he "Pwned."
  25. 25. Back at Buccaneer manor, it was time for yet another celebration, and Anna had stopped by to help celebrate."Shih looks a lot like you," Anna said as she cuddled her niece."She does, doesnt she," Grace said proudly.
  26. 26. They decided to hold the birthday celebration in the living room this time so that they wouldnt interrupt Andrews lobster thermidor.
  27. 27. Ching Shih grew up to be absolutely adorable... and she definitely had a sweeter disposition than her brother. Not that she was super nice, but shewas sweeter than Zing. She was also very tidy, outgoing, active, and playful.
  28. 28. "Grandpa Roche, do you think Shih will get to be heiress since shesnicer than I am?" Zing asked his grandfather with some worry "Oh, big enough," Roche said. "Youre too young to worry about thatevident in his voice. sort of thing, Zinger.""Now, now," Roche said soothingly. "You never can tell who will "I cant wait til Im old enough to work," Zing said. "Then I can helpend up in charge of the legacy. Just look at me! I didnt even want to the family and maybe we can get a real mansion. Our house is prettybe heir, but I didnt have a choice. And your mom did want to be the small compared to some of my friends houses, grandpa. Are we poorheiress because she wanted the family fortune." and you just dont want to tell me?""How big is the family fortune, anyway?" Zing asked. "Were fine, Zing," Roche said reassuringly. "Honestly."
  29. 29. "Adults only say honestly when theyre lying," Zing said to himself. "Id better help out more around the house so that we dont have to pay themaid as much. And when Im bigger I can be the one to repair the dishwasher."As he did his chores, the poor little tyke managed to convince himself that his entire family was three steps away from the poorhouse.
  30. 30. "Ganpa, I wanna dancing too!" Shih said as she toddled into the living room. "Why you dance so funny?""This is the slap dance," Roche explained, picking Shih up and whirling her around in his arms. "But thats not a dance for two people. This is adance for two people!" And he waltzed with her around the room."More!"
  31. 31. "Mistah Boat, one day I gonna have a big boat dust like you. An den Im gonna sail round da whole world, an explore jungles an see everything!"Ching Shih was a little girl with very big dreams. She wanted to know about everything, but she wasnt content reading a book or asking questions.She preferred to find things out herself, even at such a tender young age.
  32. 32. "Youre getting really good at talking now, honey," Grace said approvingly as she sat down to spend some quality time with her daughter. "I canjust tell youre going to be a big success when you enter the business world.""Dont like playin store," Shih insisted. "Wanna make mud pies stead.""But youll get dirty!" Grace said."Wanna know how dirty," Shih said. "Can I get dirty nuff to wreck clos? Or just need a bath? I wanna see!"
  33. 33. "Ms. Langarack, thank you for being so understanding," Zing said into the phone. "Youve done a wonderful job for my family over the years, andthats why we think you deserve a vacation. No, its not a paid vacation, but thats not an issue, is it? My family has been very generous over theyears - surely you have plenty of simoleons saved up? Good. Enjoy your vacation, then - well see you in a week!"As Zing hung up the phone he reflected proudly on his ability to save the family from unnecessary expenditures.
  34. 34. "Well hello, Zing," Lee said as he walked in the door. "How was lot of cash. There was no need to send the maid away for a week!"your day? School go okay?" "I think youre lying," Zing said, putting his hands on his hips. "And"It was fine," Zing said. "But guess what, dad? I told the maid she Im gonna save this family, Dad! Not even your and moms pride cancould have a vacation!" get in the way!""Why?" Lee asked, taken aback. "Well, as long as youre willing to do the chores for a week, Kaylynn can keep her vacation," Lee shrugged. "You think you can handle it,"So we could save some money, of course!" Zing said. "I know we son?"dont have a lot, so now you wont have to pay the maid for a wholeweek!" "You bet I can," Zing avowed. "You just wait and see, dad.""Zing, we honestly do have plenty of money," Lee said reassuringly. "That I will, son. That I will.""I have a very good job, and your mothers businesses are making a
  35. 35. "... and so Zing will be responsible for cleaning up all of the dishes and making all of the beds for the next week," Lee explained."It was very nice of you to give Kaylynn a vacation, son," Grace said approvingly. "Kind and economical. I do think you have very good businesssense.""Mom, are we eating vegetables because we cant afford meat?" Zing asked, poking at his salad."Whatever gave you that idea?" Grace shook her head. "Honestly, Zing, were just having veggies because your Aunt Gertie didnt cook tonight.Otherwise itd be grilled cheese.""Cheese and bread are pretty cheap, arent they?""Obsessed with money, just like his parents," Lee said fondly, leaning over to ruffle Zings hair.
  36. 36. Grace was finding getting Bubbles n Bubbly up to top level a bit more difficult than the boutique. For one thing, her staff rebelled and quit in ahuff."Im out of here!" Professor Butters-Marius declared. "Im going back to teaching!"
  37. 37. But Grace was a pretty talented saleswoman, and when youre selling what everyone else is buying... things are bound to go well. She had a targetaudience...
  38. 38. ... and she managed to convince her most experienced staff to keep "Your own shelf in the staff lounge fridge?"working for her, after all. "No.""$80 an hour or I walk!" "Fine. $75 an hour and a promotion.""Augh! Er, I mean... would you agree to $65 and a preferred parkingspot?" "$78.""No." "*sigh* ... deal."
  39. 39. No, it was the chance to interact with so many other sims that made simselves happy to work for Grace. And she always paid them fairly, anddidnt push them to work too many hours either.
  40. 40. And in the end, it all paid off when Simba Buccaneer gave Grace the last star needed to push Bubbles n Bubbly to the top.
  41. 41. "Toy! Come here!"A pair of adorably chubby little legs waggled precariously as the toddler overbalanced.
  42. 42. "Gonna blow up da bad guys! Boom! Is way tougher dan Superman or Wolverine! Boom!"Toshiko Buccaneer, adopted daughter of Morgan and Kelly, was a very opinionated child, and obviously not afraid to take matters into her ownhands.
  43. 43. "Bart, dear, your granddaughter is blowing up terrorists in her bedroom again.""Its Morgans fault," Bart said."Hmm? How is it my fault?" Morgan asked as she dug into her omelette."Who else would tell a four-year-old what a terrorist is?" Bart asked, shrugging. "There are some subjects that are just plain inappropriate fortoddlers, Morgan.""I believe young children need to be in touch with the world around them, and Kelly agrees with me," Morgan said primly. "Anyway, its herbirthday party tonight."
  44. 44. "Come on, Toshi," Kelly smiled, cuddling her daughter. "Its time to blow out the candles and grow up into a big girl!""I already pretty big," Toshiko insisted. "I smash da terrorists wif my rockets!""Way to stand up for democracy!" Kelly chuckled. "Maybe someday youll join the military, Toshi!""Nah," Toshiko said after a moments pondering. "I wanna... I dunno.""Well, you have plenty of time to decide."
  45. 45. Pretty much everybody was on hand to see Toshiko transition from toddler to child. Unfortunately, it was in the evening so none of her oldercousins were able to make it.
  46. 46. And, dear readers, dont you think that Toshi transitioned pretty well? Her entire family was definitely proud of her for growing up so well."I know what I wanna do! Dazzle you all with my superior cuteness! Thatll keep everyone distracted long enough to set the fuses."
  47. 47. "What?" Toshi breathed as she looked at her very first report card. She barrelled into the house. "Mom! Mom!"
  48. 48. "What is it, dear?" Kelly asked, looking up from where she was said?" Toshiko asked eagerly. "I really want to bring peace to thepracticing the piano. world with a combination of music and high explosives, and well... I got the high explosives down, but I still need to work on the music aToshi frantically waved her report card in her moms face. "Look, bit."mom! Look!" Kelly stared at her child for a moment. "Should I be worrying aboutKelly took the proffered paper and scanned it quickly. "Oh, well this A+ in Chemistry?"done, Toshi! Straight As! Im so proud of you!" "Aw, mom, please please please please please? I promise not to set"And mom, since I got straight As, can I get piano lessons like you fire to anything important if you let me!"
  49. 49. "Eh, what the heck.""Mommy, youre Canadian... arent you.""Yes."
  50. 50. "And this is the economical model," Zing said, pushing his toy car across his half of the bedroom. "Great gas mileage combined with beautifulstyling and comfortable seating. Something the whole family can afford!""I pway?" Shih asked, toddling over to join him."Only if you can afford to," Zing told her. "This game is for rich kids only!""Oh, you pwayin store," Shih said sadly. "Dat game boooooring!""Well fine," Zing grumbled. "Ill just find someone else to play with."
  51. 51. "So theres this great game I know," Zing said earnestly to Robinoli. "Maybe youve played it before, Robin? I call it Used Car Salesman."
  52. 52. "Who wants a story?" Grace asked, tickling Shih in the ribs."Me!" Shih giggled.
  53. 53. "... and so Goldilocks opened up a breakfast restaurant with the Three Bears, because shed realized that Just Right was the perfect marketingslogan. And they lived financially well-off ever after. The End.""Mommy, dat book was about pwayin store," Shih said with a grimace."Yes it was, dearie," Grace said, closing the book with a thump. "Its all about how you squeeze the poor, Shih. Remember that, will you?""Uck.""Oh, honey," Grace said sadly, "You just dont understand how beautiful it is to have lots of money."
  54. 54. Whatever misgivings Grace held about her daughters financial interest, she pushed it aside in order to properly celebrate Shihs birthday. Onceagain, the party was a family affair, with everybody making it over for the event.
  55. 55. "Ahh... its good to be big," Shih said, satisfaction evident in her tone as she grabbed a slice of cake. "Now Im finally big enough to find out whatthis stuff tastes like. No more bottles or bowls of mush, ever!"
  56. 56. "Mom, how come Shih never wants to play Used Car Salesman with "Zing, for the last time were not in danger of running out of money!me?" Zing asked. Honestly!""Your sister just doesnt care about money the way we do," Grace "Again with that word," Zing muttered as he crawled into bed.shrugged. "Some people just dont care about that sort of thing." "What was that?" Grace asked."But if she doesnt care about money, and shes the heiress one day,then the family will be ruined!" Zing exclaimed. "Mom... is that a "Nothin," Zing said. "Goodnight."risk you want to take? You need to make sure Shih is properlyeducated in financial matters. Bad enough you and dad are barely "Goodnight, dear. Ill make sure Shih is quiet when she gets homebreaking even." from visiting her little friend."
  57. 57. "Shih, dearie, its time you ought to be heading home," Nala said. "Your mom asked if I would walk you there.""I can has walk too, Grandma?" Shere Khan asked. "Shih is my bestest friend in the world!""I suppose," Nala said. "Its getting late, though, and youre too big for me to carry you home if you get tired.""Not-sleepy cat is not sleepy, Grandma! Lets go!"
  58. 58. Around this time, Grace opened up her third business."Id like to welcome you to Legacy Memorial Gardens," Grace said sombrely to one visitor. "For the low, low price of $10 per hour, you canwander through the historical resting places of my illustrious ancestors and family members. Every member of the family who has ever died onPirate Island is interred here... and if youre really lucky, one of them will stop by and scare the lights out of you!""Why the Halloween decorations?" the visitor asked."Blatant commercialism," Grace shrugged. "It attracts the kiddies."
  59. 59. "Only in your legacy would somebody profit off of the deaths of their ancestors and relatives," Sushi complained to me."Hey!" I protested. "I just work here! Youre just sore you didnt think of it first."
  60. 60. It was pretty safe to say that not everybody approved of Graces latest business venture."At least provide refreshments!" Shannon spluttered, appearing out of nowhere."Right you are, Shannon! Right you are!" echoed from somewhere between the rows of graves.
  61. 61. Grace decided that some food wouldnt be a bad idea, if only to "That true?" Sunny asked Grace.prevent her clients from starving to death immediately after beingfrightened. "It is," Grace nodded. "But unfortunately the karaoke machine wont fit up here.""Did that vampire ghost get you, too, Flavius?" SunnyGoodytwoshoes asked, clinging to an old friend of hers for some "Karaoke machine?"reassurance. "Oh, its just to bring in more customers," Grace said."Nah, I made a beeline for the buffet," Flavius said. "None of theghosts know how to use the stairs." "You have no shame," Sunny said disapprovingly.
  62. 62. "Arr! Who be disturbin me restin in peace?" the ghost of Mary Buccaneer demanded."Ack! Im a Pleasure Sim!" Zoey Legacina complained. "Im here for the karaoke, honest! The karaoke!""Aye? Well, and ye must be a good singer if ye wants ta be singin karaoke in me graveyard," Mary muttered. "If yer a bad un, Ill have ta bescarin ya agin, missie. That be the worst Moonlight Bay I ever heard, and me papas were pretty bad."
  63. 63. "Graaaaace... tell your dad that his mother says hiiiiiiii!" Pao wailed. Then he grinned. "Did I scare ya? Huh? Did I?""Grandfather, I think youve been spending too much time with great-grandfather Alan.""Thats as may be, Grace. Thats as may be.""Ack! Stop it!""Hehehe," Pao chuckled to himself as he floated off. "Love the Halloween decor, by the way. Ivy thinks its tacky, though."
  64. 64. In the end, I decided that I might have to suffer through Grace profiting off of the death of her ancestors, but I certainly didnt have to work for her.After all, who runs this legacy, anyway?And that vampire guy scares me. Yknow, the one Ivy married while pregnant with Cales kid and then accidentally killed because, in her pregnantstate, she insisted on sleeping in his coffin? Yeah, that guy.
  65. 65. But even without my tacit approval, there were plenty of people around to buy tickets. Some preferred to come during the day to avoid the ghosts,however.
  66. 66. "Ah, my dear niece," Jack Thayer said softly when he finally decided "Oh, Im doing okay," Grace said. "Hey... you dont have a problemto pay a visit. "I see you are profiting shamelessly from the untimely with me turning the cemetary into a business, do you Uncle Jack?"demise of our beloved ancestors? Is no sepulchre sacred?" "While a laudable effort, my dear niece, it would seem a more"Not in this place," Grace shrugged. prudent business practice not to operate in an area of high paranormal activity. It can be hazardous to the health of the employees. Now,"Your financial acumen would perhaps be best if directed to other what have I always told you about the welfare of your staff?"enterprises," Jack suggested. "I find it difficult to compass that anycorporate entity could be successfully founded upon the grounds of "That a happy minion is a productive minion, Uncle Jack."discorporation." "You are a credit to our name, Grace."
  67. 67. Of all the attractions, the karaoke machine was what people really came for. There actually werent a lot of Knowledge sims looking for ghosts onPirate Island, surprisingly.And, in the end, Grace earned that last gold star from one of her most reluctant customers... again, at the karaoke machine.As she turned the business over to her manager, she began to ponder what she should sell next...
  68. 68. Meanwhile, at a house a ways down the road from Legacy Memorial Gardens, the two newest members of the Buccaneer extended family weregetting to know each other. These playful pets are the adopted furchildren of Nick and Green Boolprop. The dogs name is Rags, and the cats nameis Kilo.
  69. 69. But its Hugo Pseudo, child of Will and Orikes Pseudo, who is the most petted and cossetted individual in the household. Perhaps its because hescompletely adorable. But it might also be because if he isnt constantly being held, he makes a beeline for the toilet.
  70. 70. "That child of yours really does need to be taught that just because toilets have toy in the name, they arent... uh... toys," Will said to his wife."I think hes going to grow up to be a Pleasure Sim," Orikes said proudly."Maybe hell want to be a celebrity chef so we can stop eating these disgusting burned hamburgers," Green complained."Err... that was me," Nick said sheepishly. "Sorry, hon."
  71. 71. Its not that Orikes and Will were bad parents, per se. They doted on their child, and kept him away from the toilet whenever possible. But therewere a lot of things theyd rather do than make sure Hugo didnt flush the remote control down the loo. Like bounce on the couch.
  72. 72. Nick and Green were relieved when Hugos birthday rolled around, because it meant that he would finally outgrow playing in the bathroom. Well,probably. There was always a chance hed embark on a tub-pirating career, after all.As usual, the entire household attended, as well as Wills friend Sim.
  73. 73. Hugo definitely took after both parents, and that became much more evident once he reached his child years. And yes, he was still cute.Upon seeing this picture in the family photo album, grandmother Marie insisted on getting a copy for her wall.
  74. 74. Hugo was very close to all of his relatives: aunts, uncles, andgrandparents. He didnt know any of his cousins yet, but that would "Well, we dont have to wait that long before you all come to seebe rectified once he started school. me," Marie soothed. "Dont you think it would be fun to come over for breakfast with Zing and Shih? And maybe Toby will even be able"And Im going to have you all over one day for a party, too!" Marie to come!"insisted. "Whos Toby?" Hugo asked."I think when youre older Ill take you to the family vacation house,"Roche promised. "Maybe when all of your cousins are at least seven "Oh, hes your other cousin, but he lives all the way in Paris," Marieor eight." said. "Hopefully youll get to meet him one day!""But thats so long in the future!" Hugo said. "Thatd be really cool," Hugo said enthusiastically.
  75. 75. "Good job with the graveyard biz, Ms. Buccaneer," Sim Spade, Private Eye, said approvingly."Oh, you liked it!" Grace grinned. "Thats good to hear, Mr. Spade. Say, whens your next movie coming out?""Who knows?" the actor/detective shook his head. "Production on that has been delayed indefinitely, but I think theres a new serial coming out inthe next few weeks. Action-adventure. Will I see you at the premiere?""Wouldnt miss it," Grace said. She paused in her slap-dancing. "You know, its really crazy how this dance has taken off across the entire island.Its almost like a virus the way it spreads.""Youre telling me!"
  76. 76. A few days later, Orikes was pleased to discover that she was pregnant again."And no morning sickness at all this time," she said gleefully when she let Will in on the news. "I hardly believe Im in my second trimesteralready!"
  77. 77. Hugo was also flourishing, and it wasnt long before he was doing the straight-A dance for his parents."But dear, I wish youd knock first," Orikes said.
  78. 78. "Our son got straight As today, Will," Orikes mentioned later that evening as her husband studied for his next promotion."I saw his report card on the fridge!" Will grinned, not looking up from his book.
  79. 79. Some time later, it was time for the newest addition to the family to be born."Wiiiiiilllllll!" Orikes cried, "Its time!""In a minute, dear," Will said. "Im gonna getcha little fishie! Im gonna getcha little fishie!""Will!"
  80. 80. A very, very short time later, Will and Orikes welcomed the newest member of their family - a baby girl named Liv."Shes gorgeous, love," Will said proudly as he pulled out his amazing MP3 player. "We got that new bedroom set up just in time!""Will Pseudo, you are going to take your daughter downstairs and give her a bottle," Orikes said sternly. She grabbed the MP3 player from him."As for me, Im going to listen to music and have a nap."
  81. 81. Straight As werent all that Hugo was making at school. Hed also managed to make quite a few friends. Robin was one of his favorites, though shedidnt have any one best friend. She was friends with everyone."ZOMG!" Robin squealed. "Its so nice playing with someone who doesnt want to play Used Car Salesman! Squee!""Could you not do that in my ear, Robin? It kinda hurts now, and everything you say sounds like buzzing.""SAD FACE."
  82. 82. It was his cousin Toshiko who Hugo really connected with as a child. Nearly every day she came over after school or he went to her house."And so my piano teacher said that I had to work on my major scales, so I hid an iguana in the piano bench the next lesson. My mommies said Iwasnt allowed to use dynamite on people. Unless theyre terrorists."
  83. 83. "Toshi, lets always be friends," Hugo said. "Promise?""I promise," Toshi swore. "But just friends... no mushy stuff when were bigger, okay?""I dunno," Hugo mused. "Youre awfully pretty, Toshi.""Hugo!""Oh, okay," Hugo said. "Friends forever, Toshi."
  84. 84. "Do you find it difficult, being married into the legacy family?" Rubyblue asked Orikes one fine evening. "I mean, are there a lot of expectationsand whatnot? Babies upon babies? Hows the whole deal work in this neighborhood anyway, Ori?""Its not so bad," Orikes said. "I married a hot spare, Ive got two adorable kids, and I actually get to be perma-plat eventually. Not a bad deal, as faras Im concerned."
  85. 85. And not long after that in-depth, awe-inspiring conversation, it was time for Liv to grow up to toddler. Again, the whole family showed up.
  86. 86. I do apologize. This is the only picture I have of Liv as a toddler (in this update, at least!). But she is cute. I promise! And neat, shy, lazy, playful,and kind.
  87. 87. On a bright Saturday a few days later, it was a full house at the Pseudo home. Hugo asked for, and received, permission to have all of his friendsover to visit while his Grandma Marie was babysitting."Zing, whys Shih eating in the kitchen?" Mini-Toast asked scornfully. "Doesnt she know that pancakes taste way better sitting down than standingup?"
  88. 88. "I think its another one of her experiments," Zing said. "She wastalking about finding out if that was myth or fact on the way over "Oh, shes not so bad, guys," Toshi said, sticking up for her cousin.today." "She just likes to find things out. Besides, I think playing Used Car Salesman is pretty weird.""BUSTED!" came a shout from the kitchen. "And we used to be adults! Thats pretty strange!" Robin chimed in."Your sister is really weird," Toast nodded. "Okay, that definitely wins as the most weirdest," Hugo declared."Tell me about it," Zing complained. "Did you know she doesnt even "Cmon... lets go play outside!"like to play Used Car Salesman?"
  89. 89. The children ran outside, even Ching Shih. Predictably, Toast made a beeline for the bubble-blower, while Hugo was content to play with hisgrandmother and Shih to monopolize the swing set."We gotta get one of these," she said happily. "Just think of all the gravitational and accelerational experiments I could do, Zing!"
  90. 90. "Hugo, man, youre definitely a cool cousin," Zing said as the party wound to a close. "Maybe my parents will let me have a party like this one day,but probably not til were teenagers. So until then youll have to throw them all.""Thats a deal," Hugo promised. "My parents just looove parties, so I bet they say yes every Saturday!""Awesome! And hey, maybe next time we can play Used Car Salesman!" Zing said excitedly.
  91. 91. Across the sea and somewhere in a Parisian suburb from Pirate Island, yet another Buccaneer child was about to celebrate a birthday. This one wasToby Biggs, child of Gavin Biggs and Anna Buccaneer. Gavin was the one who was raising Toby, due to Anna being the Grim Reaper in her sparetime. It wasnt a career that was conducive to raising a child."Okay, Holstein, you won the coin toss," James Curtin (the blond) said. "Toss that baby!"Toby was also raised by not one, but many uncles.
  92. 92. And the first thing he did upon growing up was head for the toilet."Definitely a Buccaneer at heart, that one," Anna declared as she got ready to leave. "It was nice seeing you all... Ill be by to visit again soon!"
  93. 93. "Okay, kid, time to get cleaned up," Gavin insisted, plonking Toby down into the tub. "Playing in the toilet is definitely not cool, Toby. This is abachelor house. The state of our toilets is beyond belief, kiddo. Remember...Toilets, Not Toys. Got it?""Toy-ets no toys!" Toby squealed and splashed.
  94. 94. "I see theyve been feeding you that radioactive milk again," Anna said approvingly when she stopped by for her next visit. "My, Toby, youregetting big!""Is glowin gween, Mommy!" Toby crowed. "Flyin gween airplane!"
  95. 95. In a pattern that really hadnt changed at all since he was a cooing infant, Toby was hugely spoiled by all of his uncles. They constantly fought overwho would give him a bath or tuck him in at night. They were happy to leave the potty training and diaper-changing to Gavin, though.
  96. 96. And all of them pitched in when it was time for Toby to have another birthday."This is definitely the coolest room ever!" Borealis (the other blond) declared. "I would kill to have had a room like this when I grew up. I justlived in a tiny little duplex with my parents.""Well, bring in the birthday boy!" James said. "I want to see his face!"
  97. 97. "Whoa... thanks everyone!" Toby exclaimed when he opened his presents immediately after blowing out the candles. "This room is awesome! AndI love the remote-controlled car! Ive always wanted one of these!""The car is from your mom," Gavin said, smiling. "She had to work tonight, unfortunately, and with a job like hers...""The dying wait for no one," Toby nodded. "I get it. Is she going to come over soon, though, dad? I want to thank her in person."
  98. 98. In fact, Anna did stop by just a few days later, when Toby just happened to be bringing home his very first report card from school. She and Gavinwere both very proud of him.
  99. 99. "Dad... since I got all As can I get a computer for my room?" Toby asked."When youre a bit older," Gavin chuckled."Aww..." Toby complained. "Well, I guess I can wait." Then he turned his attention to his mom.
  100. 100. "Thanks for the toy car, mom," he said as they started a game of red with me to visit some of your other relatives some time?"hands. "I love it!" "Other relatives?""Im glad you like it," Anna said. "Ive never had to buy presents for aboy before so I was worried Id mess things up." "You have quite a few cousins, and some aunts and uncles, and some grandparents who would very much like to meet you in a place called"It was great," Toby said again, his eyes shining. "It can do fifteen Pirate Island," Anna said. "Id like to take you there next weekend, ifdifferent tricks!" you like.""Toby," Anna said hesitantly as the game continued and Toby "A whole weekend going somewhere with you, mom?" Tobys eyesextolled the rest of the virtues of his car, "would you like to come got very big. "Thatd be awesome!"
  101. 101. Marie took a deep breath and squared her shoulders before picking up the phone."Cmon, old girl," she murmured to herself, "its not so hard. You can do this!" Another deep breath and she was dialing the number shed knownby heart for so many years.
  102. 102. When Roche stepped in the door, he certainly wasnt prepared for Marie to sweep him off his feet in a deep kiss - yet that was exactly what she did.
  103. 103. "Whoa..." Roche said, putting his hand to his lips hesitantly. "What was that about, Marie? We talked, remember? No going back down that road.""I know," Marie said. "But I also know that you need just one more dream date to become perma-plat, Roche. I wanted to do something nice foryou... something to make up for the horrible way I treated you in the past."Roche stared at his ex-wife for a moment, then broke out into a grin. "Well... I suppose one measly date couldnt hurt, could it? But NO hanky-panky!""I wasnt even going to mention it," Marie swore.
  104. 104. And, true to her word, she didnt mention that they head off to the bedroom at all - certainly not the way she typically behaved with her dates.Instead, she and Roche relaxed with some Tai Chi. Gertie had been teaching both of them."You know, this isnt how I pictured my fiftieth Dream Date," Roche chuckled at one point. "I figured Id be spending a lot less time vertically.""And?" Marie demanded, "Are you saying you arent having a great time?"
  105. 105. "In fact, Im having a terrific time," Roche admitted. "You know me, Marie. Im Pleasure, through and through. While it might take me longer toget a dream date by playing rock-paper-scissors or performing tai chi, Ill get there eventually.""I know," Marie said. "But... surely theres one thing youre wanting more than anything else? Anything I can do to boost this date into thestratosphere?"
  106. 106. "Well, there is one thing," Roche said, looking at Marie tenderly. He kissed her softly on the lips. "Thanks, Marie -- for the good times."
  107. 107. "So this is it, then?" Marie said as she embraced Roche.Roche pointed upwards to the aspiration points floating above his head. "I guess so," he said. "Marie, most of the time we were pretty badtogether... but when we were good, we were very good. Ill see you around, okay?"And the two old lovers parted with a final kiss, determined to stay uninvolved with each other from this point forward.
  108. 108. Now that Roche was perma-plat, Marie decided it was time to really pursue her own happiness and the same status for her aspiration. She wantedto woohoo 20 different sims, and she set out to do that with a vengeance.I must say that I am only a chronicler of stories for Pirate Island - I am nobodys apologist, least of all Hercs.
  109. 109. Or Gages.
  110. 110. Or Armando-the-reporters.
  111. 111. Or Jerrys.Marie didnt just woo her lovers at home, either - she also took them out on the town so she could double-bag each of them. She felt certain shedbe able to get her ten lovers well before she died of old age.
  112. 112. But while Marie was definitely a Romance sim, there were things that were much more important to her than mere woohoo, and as she preparedfor one of them she hummed to herself."Theyll be here any minute!" she said happily to herself as she stirred the pancake batter, sat it on the counter, and covered it to await the arrival ofher guests.
  113. 113. A few short moments later, a parade of children between the ages of seven and twelve could be seen marching up her sidewalk to the door."Come on in!" Marie said happily, opening the door wide and gesturing for her four oldest grandchildren to enter. "Pancakes will be ready in abouttwo minutes!""Too bad Liv couldnt come too," Hugo said, "but shes still too little. Can we do this again next year when shes bigger?""Of course!" Marie said, expertly flipping the first pancakes onto the plates the children held out. "Cmon... lets eat!""Okay," Shih said. "Ill have mine sitting down, please." She pointed at Toby. "Whos that kid?""Thats your Aunt Susannas little boy, Toby," Marie said fondly. "Hes visiting Pirate Island for a couple of days. Isnt that fun?"
  114. 114. "Grandma, whyd you invite us over?" Zing asked as he chowed has a child from the rest of us. But Toby lives in Paris with his dad,down on his pancakes. like I said before. Im surprised youve never heard of him! Hes in between you and Shih in age, Zing.""Because I love you guys!" Marie said enthusiastically. "Andbecause your cousin Toby came to visit just to meet all of you." "Okay," Zing said. He took another bite of his pancakes. "I guess maybe I remember mom and dad talking about him when I was little."How come Auntie never told us that she had a kid?" Zing wanted to So whats he like?"know. "Thats a pretty major thing to conceal from all of us! Do myparents know?" "Why dont you talk to him and find out?" Marie suggested."I think so," Marie said. "Your aunt has never hidden the fact that she "Aww, but that would be too easy!"
  115. 115. Ching Shih was doing just that. "Im Shih," she said. "Youre my bigcousin Toby, right?" The two exchanged scowls. Then Shih burst out laughing. "Boy, youre easy to tease, Toby. I guess I like you.""Well, I dont think Im that much older than you," Toby saidseriously. "Were about the same size. Your hair is longer, though. Toby answered with a shy smile of his own. "I guess I like you too,But thats because youre a girl." The last word was imbued with Shih. I never knew any girls my age before. I just have my dad andscorn. all my uncles, and I go to a boys only private school.""And whats wrong with girls?" Shih demanded. "Were prettier and "That sounds pretty boring," Shih said. "Do you like it?"smarter than boys." "I like my uncles," Toby shrugged. "School sucks, though.""Are not!" "Totally. They dont let us learn anything fun, like how many licks to"Are too!" the center of a Tootsie pop."
  116. 116. Zing and Hugo finished their breakfast first and huddled in the cornerto discuss Toby. "Well, no," Zing admitted. "But Shihs way nicer than I am. So I bet shes chosen.""Well, if he gets along with Shih he cant be all that bad," Hugopointed out. "I like Shih. Shes nice. Well, nicer than us." "Id like it if Shih was chosen," Hugo said. "Cause youd do better with the businesses but shes nice so shed be better for the family.""Everyone likes Shih," Zing scowled. "Probly shes going to beheiress because everyone likes her. But thats okay, I guess. If shes "Gee... thanks," Zing said sullenly. He stomped off to talk to Toby.the heir, that means I wont get stuck with the family debt." "What did I say?" Hugo asked, confusion playing across his features."Did they already decide and tell you?" Hugo asked with wide eyes.
  117. 117. "Hi Toby," Zing said. "So... how do you like our island? Is it way "Thats kind of cool, I guess," Zing said. "She only kills old people,better than Paris?" right?""I dunno," Toby shrugged. "Paris is pretty fun but I havent seen a lot "Old people and stupid people," Toby said. "Like ones who sethere yet. Mom just dropped me off on her way to a business call." themselves on fire.""What does your mom do anyway?" Zing asked. "Nobody will ever "But wont they die anyway?" Zing asked.tell me!" "Nope," Toby said. "Mom has to be there or nobody can die.""Oh, she kills people," Toby shrugged. "I mean, shes the GrimReaper. But I dont know the details." "Wow... Auntie Anna is coooool," Zing breathed.
  118. 118. "I hope Toby can come visit all the time, Hugo," Shih said. "Hes "Hey, I thought you were supposed to be the nice one!"pretty cool. Hey, wanna play Red Hands?" "Hugo?""Aww... but you always win!" Hugo complained. "At least when Iplay against Liv she lets me win sometimes." "Yes, Shih?""I cant test my hypothesis that girls are inherently superior if I let "Youre pathetic. Its fun to push you around."you win, can I?" "I know," Hugo grinned happily. "Cmon, Shih... lets SMUSTLE!"
  119. 119. "Toby, it is now time to smustle," Shih said, wandering back over to where her Parisian cousin was singing a sea chantey. "Cmon! Lets gooutside! Hugo! Zing! Grandma!""Have some patience, dear," Marie chuckled. "Were coming!"
  120. 120. The children bounced outside, Shih bringing up the rear, and smustled until their parents made them go home.
  121. 121. Elsewhere, dark clouds begin to stir on the horizon, and vaguely gothy plotty types make sweeping sinister statements in art galleries..."It is obscene how far downhill the legacy family has gone since our line left them," Octavia Toyonaga complained in a petulent voice. "They aresoft. Weak. They do not deserve to rule Pirate Island."
  122. 122. "What this place needs is Roman rule," Septimus concurred. "But how are we to bring this about, sister mine? Weve all been disqualified from theheirship since Grandmother Elisabeth moved away from the legacy household and married Grandfather Shannon.""Grandmother Elisabeth was not a Roman like us," Octavia said. "She did not desire power or fame.""We are Roman," Septimus agreed. "We deserve to rule this island, but we are too old to be acclaimed by the people. We need someone the sameage as the sixth generation, my sister. A pawn.""But who?" Octavia asked. "A Roman, to be sure... but how many Roman children are there?"
  123. 123. "I know exactly the child," Septimus said, scowling. "He will be perfect. He is the newest heir of Toyonaga manor, my dear sister. And his nameis..."
  124. 124. "Justinian," Octavia breathed.===To Be Continued...

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