Bullying and the Role of the RA @MountIdaCollege


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A workshop developed for student leaders at Mount Ida College to help Resident Assistants deal with bullying in the residence halls, and tools to help them be successful mediators.

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  • ChristinaA LOT of the bullying we hear about isn’t physical or even verbal abuse…Its this stuff we call relational aggression – a type of bullying/aggression where the goal is to destroy friendships and social standing – happens online and in personExclusion, rumors, gossip, ganging up, etc. RUMORS are the big one….
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  • Always remember – people will say anything about anyoneThis girl is a model in AustraliaThey called her fat - obviously NOT TRUE..People and bullies will make up anything to make you feel badDon’t buy it!!!
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  • So now let’s talk about bystanders…The audience that says/does nothingIt’s not easy but it’s really important that you stand up against this stuffWhen you don’t you only help the bully and their friendsWhat to do???Walk away – bullies LIKE audiencesHelp the victim get away – “I need your help.” “ I have a question for you.” “Come here for a second.”Show the victim support – maybe they’re not your BFF, but you can be nice and not just pretend you don’t know what’s happeningCall the bully out – “that’s not cool” – not always easy – don’t want bully to turn on you, maybe they are your friend, but it will make a big difference to the person being targeted
  • ChristinaAnd let’s be real… it’s not all cyberbullying, and sometimes what starts as CB can morph into conflict Probably because like CB’s may feel more powerful online, so do other people (victims)almost half of the students we talk to say cyberbullying usually starts as bullying but turns into a fightIt is a LOT EASIER to confront online!
  • Christina – Options to resolving conflict.... (Mediations, Floor Meetings, Get Support, etc...)So, before you let it turn into a fight – online or off…What are other ways you can deal with it??Talk to the person – “what’s up”If you think you got a nasty text, thought a status update was about you, or someone told you someone said something about you – ask yourself what else could it mean? (hackers, they gave pw or login to someone, misinterpreted, maybe someone made up them talking about you…)Write about it – get it out on paperWait 24 hours before you text, post, or flip outAsk yourself, is it actually worth fighting over?Vent about it – talk to someone about it, exercise, play with the dog, punch a pillow
  • We have to talk about the web….
  • You need to start thinking about your profile like your billboard – can you control who sees it?? NOSo, what do you want on it? GOOD STUFF – good grades, involved in activities, help old ladies across street w/ groceries, volunteer at the animal shelter…How would this make you look?? Maybe your friends think you’re tough, but what do other people think when they see it?
  • - How many friends do you have? Average on FB is 130- Do you know them all?- How easy is it to right click, copy, & paste?Your friends can join you into any group they want without your knowledge or permission – what if that got you in trouble?In January 2010, 28 middle school students in Seattle were suspended for joining a Facebook page dedicated to harassing one of their classmates. They can show it to anyone or share it… to other people they know, marketers, etc.They can geotag you – anyone could know where you areThey can tag you in photosMeet Josh – he injured a woman driving drunk, but it was his 1st offense and he was supposed to get probation. Then he dressed up as a jailbird at a party and he was tagged in this photo on FB. Prosecutor sees the photo, gets mad, and the boy gets 3 years in jail. They could show it to anyone they want!FRIENDS HAVE A LOT OF POWER – think when friending!
  • - Strong PWs:Should be at least 8 characters and include upper and lower case letters, numbers, and symbols (symbols make your password 1500 times harder to crack!!) – every letter you add = 26x harderThe PW on top is actually more secure! Called PW padding – symbols take hacking software forever to crack BUT it’s easy to remember!- Now you know that NOTHING online is private…You should still make sure you check your privacy settingsPrivacy settings:Can’t check enough (check if this is still true with new FB privacy policy)Apps – 91% of apps on FB collect info about you and your friends when you use them
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  • Girl on the left was assumed by her boss to be drinking beer in this photo and she was fired. (she said it was diet coke.)
  • Criminal harassment – stalking, harassing, bothering more than once can be considered criminal harassment – this law is often applied in bullying casesBullying CAN be a civil rights violationYou CANNOT take a picture of someone in a place where they can expect privacy (bathroom, locker room, etc.)They have to KNOW that you are videoingIf bullying could be a crime, the school HAS to report it
  • - And if you are sharing your tooth brush, that’s nasty and you need to stop
  • Bullying and the Role of the RA @MountIdaCollege

    1. 1. Bullying, Cyberbullying & CyberSecurity: THE ROLE OF THE RA Information you NEED to know!
    2. 2. Goals of this Session: • Define Bullying & the difference between fighting • Identify Helping Skills you can use with your residents • Provide you with resources and ways to be an effective helper • Understand the “publicness” of the Internet and consequences for improper use as well as how to be safe while online
    3. 3. Over & Over Sad or Power Afraid
    4. 4. DESTROY or DAMAGE friendships and status
    5. 5. Someone reports being bullied.... { What do you do?
    6. 6. Helping Skills...  The Helping Relationship  Foundational • • • • • Skills Listening Empathy Affirmation Modeling Appropriate Self-Disclosure
    7. 7. • Don’t be one. Think about what you are doing. Talk about it!!! Stay out of it! Don’t spread rumors. Don’t laugh along Don’t join in.
    8. 8. Before you get mad…
    9. 9.  You can learn a lot.  Others can learn A LOT about you!!!  What do you want them to know??
    10. 10. Great GPA Your Activities Stuff that makes you Billboard look GOOD!
    11. 11. What about your “friends”??? What about your “friends”??? Meet Josh… 430 friends Right click, without your photos copy, inpermission. you & paste He was tagged can join you Your “friends” They can tag into GEOTAGGING any in a photogroup they want -
    12. 12. PRIVACY SETTINGS A STRONG password: But remember… What do your apps know Check them at 8 you?ever week At online is NOTHINGleast least once a really about characters Upper case, lower case, numbers, and private!!! symbols Which is more secure?? J0g!@!@!@!@!@! Mh65GH8c10Sy1j
    13. 13. Biggest problems residents face...
    14. 14.  Solution Giving  Offering Alternatives  Information Giving  Offering Advice ???  Feedback   Support Constructive Criticism
    15. 15. Characteristics of Effective Helpers: • Being Empathetic • Being Open • • • • • • Being Real Having High Integrity Being an Experiencer of Life Having Good Emotional Health Being an Alliance Builder Being Competent
    16. 16. Is it fair for Can you adults to judge really get in you on your trouble?? profile? • Invasive? Maybe. • Fair? It’s public information. The person who posts it is making it public.
    17. 17. Impressions...
    18. 18. Bullying & the Law in Mass • Criminal harassment • Civil rights violations • Taking photos • Taking video • The new law
    19. 19. •Don’t Respond! •Ignore it! • Print it. •Tell the service provider. •Talk about it. •Think about what you post!
    20. 20. Treat your password like your toothbrus