Bad habits Give no response Negative response (distract ..) Interrupt Tell your own story Criticize Finishing other’s words
Bad habits More speak Less listening More content Less emotion More aggressive Less patient More passive Less active More subjective Less Objective
Active listening Pre listening While listening Post listening
Pre listening Know your speaker Know the purpose Build appropriate atmosphere Blending / Small talk
While Listening Adapt to speaker Show your interesting Don’t interrupt Involve your whole body Feeling the speaker Give response
While Listening - Adapt Use speaker’s word’s habit Use common words Use WE instead of YOU Use Let’s/Shall we instead of Can you Use Why not instead of You should Adapt to speaker’s style (Rapid, Slow) Adjust your style Show your acceptance and understanding Synchronize your emotion with speaker Make speaker feel comfortable
While Listening - Interest Encourage in verbal That’s interesting Sounds great , tell me more Be open mind Use your body language look exciting Change a posture Suddenly look Use your vocal tone Change your tone
While listening – don’t interrupt Silence Don’t judge Body language Nodding … Eye contact Use appropriate words. Oh ? Em … And ? Go on …
While listening – body Facing the speaker Eye contact Facial expression Smile … Serious … Distance Posture relaxed or rigid leaning in or away Remove physical distractions
Feeling the speaker Focus attention on: facial expressions, posture, gestures and actions. Read non-verbal in context of the conversation. Note discrepancies between what people say and how they act. For example, if they say they are happy, do they look and act happy? Be aware of your feelings and physical reactions.
While listening – Reflect listening Paraphrasing Question Summary
While listening - Paraphrasing Paraphrasing: restates the speakers’ feelings and content in your own words that demonstrates acceptance and understanding.• Also called backtracking, mirroring.• Also a form of blending.
While listening – reflect formula You feel (insert the word or feeling) because (insert the event or other content that is associated with the feeling).”
While listening - Question Ask questions for clarification and understanding. Two kinds of questions Open Close Use questions for Seek the result / further information Clarify your doubt Sort out speaker’s idea Lead conversation direction
While listening - Summarize Benefit Get key points Get conclusion Gain mutual understanding Format User 1, 2, 3 Simple Short Concise Get confirm with speaker Following up or action items if needed
Post listening Close out Thanks to the speaker??? Show your acceptance and understanding Get the real meaning Nail the conclusion Observe the emotional result ( feeling , attitude) Give feedback Take actions to the following up Prepare next conversation if needed