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Some great one liners, put downs and interesting quotes<br />
 If you think you are too small to make an impact try going to bed with a mosquito in the room Betty Reese<br />
For sincere advice and the correct time call any number at random at 3am - Steve Martin<br />
Build a man a fire and he will be warm for the day – set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life - Terr...
Statistics are like bikinis.  What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital. Aaron Levenstein<br />
The secret of success is sincerity – if you can fake that you have it made George Burns <br />
I have not failed –I have just found 10000 ways that don’t work – Thomas Edison<br />
If you think its difficult to meet new people try picking up someone else’s ball in golf – Jack Lemmon<br />
Everyone laughed when I first said I wanted to be a comedian – well they’re not laughing now – Bob Monkhouse<br />
We didn’t have metaphors in my day, we didn’t have time to beat around the bush- Fred Trueman<br />
I think the expression its a small world is really a euphemism for “I keep running into people I cant stand - Brick Cohen<...
I took speed reading course, and read War and Peace in 20 minutes. .It’s about Russia - Woody Allen<br />
The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up in public - George Jessel<br />
When I think of Indonesia – a country on the equator, with 180 million people, a median age of 18, a muslim ban on alcohol...
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them– R Dangerfield<br />
 I’d hate to be a teetotaller, Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that’s as good as you are going to feel all d...
The amount of sleep required by the average person is 5 minutes more – Wilson Miezner<br />
Some cause happiness where they go, some whenever they go - Oscar Wilde<br />
A minor operation is one performed on someone else - Victoria Wood<br />
Outside every thin woman is a fat man trying to get in -  Katherine Whitehorn<br />
I don’t like country music but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for those who like country music denigrate mean...
All I ever wanted was an honest weeks pay for an honest days work – Sgt Bilko<br />
Friends help you move, real friends help you move bodies – Milton Berle<br />
A liberal is a person whose interests are not at stake at the moment - Willis Player<br />
The marriage suffered a setback when the husband killed the wife- The Guardian 1967<br />
In the Eskimo language Inuktitut, there is a single word meaning ‘I should try not to become an alcoholic’ – Iminngernavee...
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak Anon<br />
Peter Cosgrove087 6200836peter.cosgrove@cpl.ie<br />
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Quotes

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random quotes to enjoy, entrain and to share

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Quotes

  1. 1. Some great one liners, put downs and interesting quotes<br />
  2. 2.  If you think you are too small to make an impact try going to bed with a mosquito in the room Betty Reese<br />
  3. 3. For sincere advice and the correct time call any number at random at 3am - Steve Martin<br />
  4. 4. Build a man a fire and he will be warm for the day – set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life - Terry Pratchett<br />
  5. 5. Statistics are like bikinis.  What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital. Aaron Levenstein<br />
  6. 6. The secret of success is sincerity – if you can fake that you have it made George Burns <br />
  7. 7. I have not failed –I have just found 10000 ways that don’t work – Thomas Edison<br />
  8. 8. If you think its difficult to meet new people try picking up someone else’s ball in golf – Jack Lemmon<br />
  9. 9. Everyone laughed when I first said I wanted to be a comedian – well they’re not laughing now – Bob Monkhouse<br />
  10. 10. We didn’t have metaphors in my day, we didn’t have time to beat around the bush- Fred Trueman<br />
  11. 11. I think the expression its a small world is really a euphemism for “I keep running into people I cant stand - Brick Cohen<br />
  12. 12. I took speed reading course, and read War and Peace in 20 minutes. .It’s about Russia - Woody Allen<br />
  13. 13. The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up in public - George Jessel<br />
  14. 14. When I think of Indonesia – a country on the equator, with 180 million people, a median age of 18, a muslim ban on alcohol, I know what heaven looks like - Coca Cola official<br />
  15. 15. When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them– R Dangerfield<br />
  16. 16.  I’d hate to be a teetotaller, Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that’s as good as you are going to feel all day - Dean Martin<br />
  17. 17. The amount of sleep required by the average person is 5 minutes more – Wilson Miezner<br />
  18. 18. Some cause happiness where they go, some whenever they go - Oscar Wilde<br />
  19. 19. A minor operation is one performed on someone else - Victoria Wood<br />
  20. 20. Outside every thin woman is a fat man trying to get in - Katherine Whitehorn<br />
  21. 21. I don’t like country music but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for those who like country music denigrate means to put down. Bob Newhart<br />
  22. 22. All I ever wanted was an honest weeks pay for an honest days work – Sgt Bilko<br />
  23. 23. Friends help you move, real friends help you move bodies – Milton Berle<br />
  24. 24. A liberal is a person whose interests are not at stake at the moment - Willis Player<br />
  25. 25. The marriage suffered a setback when the husband killed the wife- The Guardian 1967<br />
  26. 26. In the Eskimo language Inuktitut, there is a single word meaning ‘I should try not to become an alcoholic’ – IminngernaveersaartunngortussaavungaNEW YORK SUN, 2006<br />
  27. 27. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak Anon<br />
  28. 28. Peter Cosgrove087 6200836peter.cosgrove@cpl.ie<br />

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