Influence When You Have No Power or Authority

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Webinar for Utah State Library, 2-24-15. Regardless of whether you have a great deal of positional power or authority or none at all, you can exert meaningful influence and help bring about the future you prefer. Using proven techniques grounded in a simple model of coaching, and practicing emotionally and socially intelligent behaviors, you can learn to bring yourself into a state of greater resourcefulness, focus your attention and energy, get into action, and exert purposeful influence in any situation.

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Influence When You Have No Power or Authority

  1. 1. Influence http://www.flickr.com/photos/tomas_sobek/4649690892/sizes/l/in/photostream Utah State Library Webinar, 2/24/15 Peter Bromberg | peterbromberg.com {When you have no power or authority}
  2. 2. Being an attempt to answer the question: How to be effective? Or … “Some things I’ve noticed or learned along the way”
  3. 3. I Believe that… We all exert influence We can make conscious choices that will improve our influence We can learn to make better choices more consciously and consistently http://www.flickr.com/photos/tomas_sobek/4649690892/sizes/l/in/photostream
  4. 4. I Believe that… Higher emotional and social Intelligence correlates with our ability to have positive influence in the world and… These competencies can be developed.
  5. 5. Why Are We Here Today?
  6. 6. Why Are We Here Today?
  7. 7. Why Are We Here Today?
  8. 8. Here
  9. 9. Why Are We Here Today?
  10. 10. Why Are YOU Here Today?
  11. 11. Think about someone who has influenced you WHO? CHARACTERISTICS?
  12. 12. Influence v. Positional Authority “A piece of spaghetti or a military unit can only be led from the front end.” - General George Patton
  13. 13. Influence or Leadership?
  14. 14. Influence is something we do not something we (i.e. “a LEADER” are or a position we hold. Influence is situational. It’s about the choices we make moment by moment that either move things in the direction of a desired goal or not. If not, we can choose again.
  15. 15. Warren Bennis says… Leadership is management of: Attention Self Meaning Trust
  16. 16. Attention Do you consciously direct your attention and focus it in ways that help you direct energy effectively? Self Are you tuned into, and take responsibility for your needs, wants, behaviors, and emotions? Meaning Do you distinguish between the data you observe and the meaning you create? Trust Are your values, words, and actions congruent? Does your behavior generally inspire the trust of others?
  17. 17. Emotional and Social Intelligence Adapted from: A Framework of Emotional Competencies – 2002 - Daniel Goleman
  18. 18. Emotional and Social Intelligence Competencies • Emotional Awareness: Recognize one's emotions and their effects. • Accurate Self-assessment: Know one's strengths and limits. • Self-confidence: Have a strong sense of one's self- worth and capabilities. • Self-Control: Keep disruptive emotions and impulses in check. • Trustworthiness: Honesty and integrity. • Conscientiousness: Take responsibility for personal performance. • Adaptability: Flexible in handling change. • Empathy: Sense others' feelings and perspectives; take interest in their concerns. • Service Orientation: Have an honest desire to meet the needs of others. • Org. Awareness: Read a group's emotional currents and power relationships. • Communication: Listen openly. Express clearly. • Conflict Management: Negotiate and resolve disagreements.. • Change Catalyst: Initiate or manage change. • Build bonds: Nurture and foster relationships. • Collaborate and Inspire Adapted from: A Framework of Emotional Competencies – 2002 - Daniel Goleman
  19. 19. Emotional and Social Intelligence Competencies • Emotional Awareness: Recognize one's emotions and their effects. • Accurate Self-assessment: Know one's strengths and limits. • Self-confidence: Have a strong sense of one's self- worth and capabilities. • Self-Control: Keep disruptive emotions and impulses in check. • Trustworthiness: Honesty and integrity. • Conscientiousness: Take responsibility for personal performance. • Adaptability: Flexible in handling change. • Empathy: Sense others' feelings and perspectives; take interest in their concerns. • Service Orientation: Have an honest desire to meet the needs of others. • Org. Awareness: Read a group's emotional currents and power relationships. • Communication: Listen openly. Express clearly. • Conflict Management: Negotiate and resolve disagreements.. • Change Catalyst: Initiate or manage change. • Build bonds: Nurture and foster relationships. • Collaborate and Inspire Adapted from: A Framework of Emotional Competencies – 2002 - Daniel Goleman
  20. 20. The Influence of Emotional Contagion CC BY 2.0 www.flickr.com/photos/93393982@N00/3822687027 | CC BY-NC-SA 2.0 www.flickr.com/photos/83261600@N00/4944691233 CC BY-NC-SA 2.0 www.flickr.com/photos/9304463@N08/2217777720/
  21. 21. The Influence of Emotional Contagion CC BY 2.0 www.flickr.com/photos/93393982@N00/3822687027 | CC BY-NC-SA 2.0 www.flickr.com/photos/83261600@N00/4944691233 CC BY-NC-SA 2.0 www.flickr.com/photos/9304463@N08/2217777720/ “Being able to change your internal state might be one of the most powerful techniques you learn in becoming an effective leader– one who inspires others to learn, adapt and perform at their best.” -Richard Boyatzis, author of Primal Leadership and Becoming a Resonant Leader
  22. 22. Free Coursera Course: Inspiring Leadership through Emotional Intelligence CC BY 2.0 www.flickr.com/photos/93393982@N00/3822687027 | CC BY-NC-SA 2.0 www.flickr.com/photos/83261600@N00/4944691233 CC BY-NC-SA 2.0 www.flickr.com/photos/9304463@N08/2217777720/ https://www.coursera.org/course/lead-ei Led by Richard Boyatzis, Professor, Case Western Reserve author of Primal Leadership and Becoming a Resonant Leader
  23. 23. It’s Not About Being Nice Image: CC by 2.0 http://www.flickr.com/photos/dirigentens/4592361218/sizes/l/in/photostream
  24. 24. Courageous Follower 1. The courage to assume responsibility 2. The courage to serve 3. The courage to challenge 4. The courage to participate in transformation 5. The courage to take moral action 6. The courage to speak to the hierarchy
  25. 25. Courageous Followership “Followers don’t serve leaders. Both followers and leaders serve a common purpose, serve a vision. And they do it within a set of shared values.” -Ira Chaleff
  26. 26. - No formal authority - Motivate others - Initiate new ideas - Seek others’ opinions - Are passionate and involved (Emergent Leadership concept from Peter Northouse) Emergent Leaders (AKA Influencers) Photo cc license 2.0 courtesy flickr user Ian’s Shutter Habit flickr.com/photos/9289838@N06/3387635009/sizes/z/in/photostream/
  27. 27. Emergent Leaders “I’ll just keep going until someone tells me to dial it back.”
  28. 28. “I’ll just keep going until someone tells me to dial it back.” And what will you do if someone tells you to dial it back? “I’ll still keep going” Emergent Leaders
  29. 29. Connected Influence - Mark Goulston and John Ullment
  30. 30. “You cannot antagonize and influence at the same time.” - J.S. Knox
  31. 31. Your Here http://justinmaier.com/2006/05/09/amazing-3d-art-by-julian-bever/
  32. 32. http://justinmaier.com/2006/05/09/amazing-3d-art-by-julian-bever/ Their There
  33. 33. Three Traps that Disconnect 1. Fight or Flight 2. Habit Handicap 3. Error Blindness - Adapted from “Real Influence” by Mark Goulston (CC BY-NC-SA 2.0) http://www.flickr.com/photos/7196003@N02/4128356306/“ Connected Influence
  34. 34. Error Blindness 1. Ignorance Assumption 2. Idiocy Assumption 3. Evil Assumption - Adapted from “Real Influence” by Mark Goulston Photo: CC BY-SA 2.0 Flickr: https://www.flickr.com/photos/32281196
  35. 35. A Few Steps to Connected Influence Adapted from Goulston and Ullmen CC BY-NC-ND 2.0 http://www.flickr.com/photos/wespeck/4960579336/sizes/l/in/photostream 1. Go for great outcomes (win/win) 2. Be influencable 3. Engage them in “their there”
  36. 36. When we avoid difficult conversations we trade short term discomfort for long term dysfunction CC by 2.0 http://www.flickr.com/photos/jimwall/5129679770/sizes/z/in/photostream/
  37. 37. Effective Communication
  38. 38. Effective Communication
  39. 39. (Adapted from “The Fifth Discipline” by Peter Senge.)
  40. 40. (Adapted from “The Fifth Discipline” by Peter Senge.)
  41. 41. Delivering the Message Without the “Load” (Adapted from Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott) Blaming Name-calling Sarcasm Exaggerating Catastrophizing Ridiculing Mocking Threatening Gunnysacking Badmouthing Publicly shaming Diminishing Rolling eyes Facial expressions Ascribing motives Silent treatment Tone of voice Personalizing Nitpicking Denying contribution
  42. 42. “We often refuse to accept an idea merely because the tone of voice in which it has been expressed is unsympathetic to us.” - Friedrich Nietzsche image: hchrisschmied.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/wont-listen.jpg The Importance of Emotion
  43. 43. image: hchrisschmied.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/wont-listen.jpg “The people who had received positive feedback accompanied by negative emotional signals reported feeling worse about their performance than did the participants who had received good-natured negative feedback. In effect, the delivery was more important than the message itself.” - Daniel Goleman & Richard Boyatzis, “Social Intelligence and the Biology of Leadership” The Importance of Emotion
  44. 44. Axe photo: CC BY-NC-ND 2.0 www.flickr.com/photos/shaggyhill/5599951059/ Soup photo: CC BY-NC-ND 2.0 www.flickr.com/photos/21130538@N04/2448845969/ What do an axe and a bowl of soup have to do with each other?
  45. 45. Axe photo: CC BY-NC-ND 2.0 www.flickr.com/photos/shaggyhill/5599951059/ Soup photo: CC BY-NC-ND 2.0 www.flickr.com/photos/21130538@N04/2448845969/ Research from Jonathan Haidt, author of The Righteous Mind: Why Good People are Divided by Politics and Religion suggests that… Relationship Trumps Reason
  46. 46. Trust is the conduit for influence. It’s the medium through which ideas travel. If they don’t trust you, your ideas are just dead in the water. Having the best idea is worth nothing if people don’t trust you." - Amy Cuddy CC BY-SA 2.0 https://www.flickr.com/photos/42275232@N00/43253572/
  47. 47. Resourcefulness http://www.flickr.com/photos/danisarda/4043404303/sizes/l/in/photostream/ (CC BY-NC-SA 2.0) Flickr user: ~Oryctes~
  48. 48. Coaching  Awareness and Action Assess what is, then ask… 1.What do you want? 2. What have you tried? 3. What was the result? 4. What else can you do? 5. What WILL you do? Modified from Steve and Jill Morris’ Leadership Simple
  49. 49. Coaching  Awarness and Action 1. What do you want? 2. What have you tried? 3. What was the result? 4. What else can you do? 5. What WILL you do? Modified from Steve and Jill Morris’ Leadership Simple Accountability
  50. 50. Provocative Questions • What result do I want? • Where is my attention focused? • What else could this mean? • What resources are available? • What’s stopping me? • What assumptions am I making? • What have I tried? • What actions can I take? • What action WILL I commit to? • Did that move me in the right direction?
  51. 51. Where ourattention goes, our energy goes Where our energy goes, action follows Where actions are taken, results follow
  52. 52. It all starts with Attention
  53. 53. “Repeated studies have demonstrated that meditation can rewire how the brain responds to stress. Boston University researchers showed that after as little as three and a half hours of meditation training, subjects tend to react less to emotionally charged images. “Other research suggests that meditation improves working memory and executive function. And several studies of long-term practitioners show an increased ability to concentrate on fast-changing stimuli..” -Wired Magazine -http://www.wired.com/business/2013/06/meditation-mindfulness-silicon-valley/
  54. 54. Participating in an 8-week mindfulness meditation program appears to make measurable changes in brain regions associated with memory, sense of self, empathy and stress. "It is fascinating to see the brain's plasticity and that, by practicing meditation, we can play an active role in changing the brain and can increase our well-being and quality of life." says Britta Hölzel, PhD. - Science News Daily -http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/01/110121144007.htm
  55. 55. It’s not just Google…
  56. 56. “Choosing to act on ‘what matters’ is the choice to live a passionate existence… Acting on what matters is a stance whereby we declare we are accountable for the world around us and are willing to pursue what we define as important. - Peter Block
  57. 57. “My job is to awaken possibility in other people” -Benjamin Zander, Conductor of the Boston Philharmonic Author of The Art of Possibility http://www.flickr.com/photos/radiorover/2787677403/
  58. 58. Thank you! http://www.flickr.com/photos/darwinbell/2602728681 Peter Bromberg peterbromberg.com | peterbromberg@gmail.com
  59. 59. Deleted Scenes
  60. 60. Connected Influence Cc by 2.0 http://Stockmonkeys.com
  61. 61. What assumptions are you making that no longer serve you?
  62. 62. Know Thyself Personality Styles Courtesy Flickr user mayhem (CC BY-NC-SA 2.0) http://www.flickr.com/photos/81126501@N00/3975910516 •DISC •Myers Briggs •Enneagram •Strengths Finder •True Colors
  63. 63. Know Others • DISC • Myers Briggs • Enneagram • Strengths Finder • True Colors
  64. 64. Platinum Rule Treat others the way they want to be treated
  65. 65. Better Mood (FYI… Mood Matters)
  66. 66. Happiness Research “When you are experiencing positive emotions like joy, contentment, and love, you will see more possibilities in your life. These findings were among the first that suggested positive emotions broaden your sense of possibility and open your mind up to more options.” The Science of Positive Thinking: How Positive Thoughts Build Your Skills, Boost Your Health, and Improve Your Work http://www.huffingtonpost.com/james-clear/positive-thinking_b_3512202.html
  67. 67. ASSUMPTION: You are… Creative Resourceful and Whole
  68. 68. It’s not what they call you, it’s what you answer to. -W.C. Fields
  69. 69. …one’s own small flame to the central flames of life and the world. We cannot predict the exact details of the future, but we can have a hand in shaping the heart of the future, including its context of meaning and our commitment and courage in advancing into the unknown. Continually Connect… - Robert K Cooper, Ayman Sawaf, Executive EQ
  70. 70. How Do you build the capacity, competency and habit?
  71. 71. Six Factors of Effective Conversations Concern Trust Respect Appreciation Affection Hope Nicholas Burbules, Dialogue in Teaching. Theory and Practice.
  72. 72. Amygdala Hijack Image CC BY-SA 3.0 http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:EQbrain_optical_stim_en.jpg
  73. 73. Kouzes, J.M., & Posner, B.Z. (2007). The leadership challenge (4th ed.). San Francisco: Jossey-Bass. Souba, W. W. (2014). The Phenomenology of Leadership. Open Journal of Leadership, 3, 77-105. http://dx.doi.org/10.4236/ojl.2014.34008 Effective Communication
  74. 74. EQ Book Recommendations
  75. 75. The Triangle of Perceptions, Wants, and Actions Based on The Triangle of Choice, in Leadership Simple by Steve and Jill Morris THREE SPHERES OF CONTROL • We can change what we want • We can change our behavior • We can change our perception Actions Wants Perceptions The Gap
  76. 76. Actions Wants Perceptions The Gap The Triangle of Perceptions, Wants, and Actions Based on The Triangle of Choice, in Leadership Simple by Steve and Jill Morris KEY INSIGHT: The gap between what we perceive and what we want creates energy which can lead to action.
  77. 77. Better Mood (FYI… Mood Matters)
  78. 78. The Neurobiology of EQ: How to Renew and Recharge Reflection Helping others Attention Training Exercise Mindfulness Resonant Relationships Journaling Prayer Coaching Petting a pet
  79. 79. “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” - Viktor E. Frankl
  80. 80. Four Key Experiences that renew and build resilience Mindfulness Hope Compassion Playfulness
  81. 81. The power of followership
  82. 82. Three Stories About Meaning 1. Victim 2. Hero 3. Learning

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