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De-escalating hostile and Potentially violent people


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Clear strategies on Tactical Assertive Communication and Non Violent Communication

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De-escalating hostile and Potentially violent people

  1. 1. De-escalating Hostile andDe-escalating Hostile and potentially violent outburstspotentially violent outbursts I PAY YOUR WAGES!
  2. 2. Today we will get clear about •WHY WE GET ANGRY •WHAT TO DO •WHAT TO SAY •MITIGATING DANGER
  3. 3. Why is this particular workshop of interest to you? Why is this particular workshop of interest to you?
  4. 4. JU-DOJU-DO GENTLE-WAYGENTLE-WAYHow to quickly de-escalate hostile and violent outbursts Tactical Assertive Communication and Non-Violent Communication
  5. 5. Our first PRIORITY Stay safe
  6. 6. Work Health and Safety Act 2011 Work Health and Safety Regulation 2011 WH&S Safe Plan Tactical Assertive Communication and Non-Violent Communication
  7. 7. Natural skill at verbal de-escalation exists on a continuum. However, almost anyone can learn de-escalation techniques and use them successfully if they are well trained and adopts a certain skill set. The most essential skill is a good attitude, starting with positive regard for the customer and the capacity for empathy. Staff should be able to recognize that the customer is doing the best they can under ‘the circumstances’, ie, the customer is experiencing difficulty in conforming to what is expected of him. You may also need to be skilled at recognising that the inability to conform is due to either cognitive impairment—for example, delirium, psychosis, intoxication, and intellectual disability—or the customers lack of the skills needed to effectively get his needs met.
  8. 8. (Y)OUR POLICY • a) treat all customers with respect and courtesy • b) listen to what customers have to say • c) respond to customer enquiries promptly and efficiently • d) act with integrity and honesty when liaising with customers • e) consult customers about service needs Service Commitment Council staff will strive to meet the needs of our customers in a professional and ethical manner with courteous and efficient service. Staff shall:
  9. 9. What are your customers saying to you that is rude, oppositional or disrespectful? Let’s develop professional yet natural responses
  10. 10. So… What are your customers NOT HAPPY with
  11. 11. 5 universal TRUTHS of human interaction All people want is to be: 1.Treated with dignity and respect 2.ASKED rather than TOLD to do something 3.To feel IMPORTANT 4.Offered OPTIONS rather than threats 5.Given a chance to be heard Dr. George Thompson
  12. 12. When you approach agitated customers, you must monitor your own emotional and physiologic response so as to remain calm and, therefore, be capable of performing verbal de- escalation.
  13. 13. All behaviour has a purpose – to fulfil a NEED • Power • Revenge • Attention seeking • Hopelessness • Conformity RELIEF – DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOUR NEED – INSTANT GRATIFICATION
  14. 14. Neutral Angry Relaxed Happy Content Thrill Agitated Not Happy Upset Violent Hostile Abusive Excitement Euphoria Settle down I’m an authorised officer There is nothing I can do You are entitled To your opinion You have to I can’t Unfortunately That’s not our job No
  15. 15. What would you say? • You can’t tell me what to do You’re right, no one can tell you what to do • I pay your wages And I would like to acknowledge that • I know the Mayor And I would like to acknowledge that • You’re a RACIST I take great offence with that comment, I have been nothing but respectful during this conversation • You people are all the same I am sorry that you didn’t get the outcome you were after and I know you are not making this personal • This is our land (rightful owners) And I would like to acknowledge that • You have NO idea what it’s like to bring up children these days I can only imagine how tough it is.
  16. 16. Where does our aggression stem from? • DNA? • Upbringing • Environment • Learned • Past experiences • Circumstances • Cultural
  17. 17. Why are people ANGRY
  18. 18. Masks of anger • Shame • Hurt • Fear • Anxiety • Sadness • Guilt • Insecurity • Jealousy • Embarrassed • Rejected
  19. 19. • Not following direction to different waste locations • Refusal to comply with personal safety (footwear, too close to plant) • Irate customers in general • Complaints regarding fees (Domestic Vs Commercial) • Complaints regarding attitude of staff • Complaints regarding missed bins
  20. 20. Respond – Redirect - Outcome RESPOND OUTCOME RE-DIRECT NATURAL RESPONSE APOLOGISE NOT INTENDED Should you decide to use humour
  21. 21. Respond – Redirect - Outcome RESPOND OUTCOME RE-DIRECT
  22. 22. Things you can do to handle someone else’s anger Breathe Remain calm Think outcome Make an effort to open up the communication Get more polite without Being patronising or condescending Validate their concerns Agree with them Use humour* IGNORE – AGREE – EMPATHISE – QUESTION – INVITE CRITICISM
  23. 23. Agreeing with them! Miller's Law Miller's law states, “To understand what another person is saying, you must assume that it is true and try to imagine what it could be true of.” Is the quickest way to de-escalate a HSP
  24. 24. Agreeing examples I have never thought of it that way…you could be right You are right…everybody should be treated respectfully Yes you have been given the incorrect information, would you mind if I source it for you? I agree, there have been times I have said some stupid things I agree, we should be more mindful of….
  26. 26. Deny React Suppress Escalate now or later Explode Dump Recognise Accept Release the energy Clarify Choose action Resolution Ineffective Effective
  28. 28. I can see that you are not happy with this but there is no need for that behaviour How do you want to do this? One of my DEFAULT responses
  29. 29. That is not very helpful. Have I been rude to you at all during this conversation? One of my DEFAULT responses
  30. 30. You Acknowledge Clarify Reality Action
  31. 31. Council I can see You seem That must be I sense You’re… And you think what you would like me to do is… So what you are telling me is… The way you see things is… I know you aren’t making it personal The situation is this That doesn’t exempt you Here’s the thing The legislation Councils stand… You cannot So you need to listen carefully This is what we are going to do I suggest that you I’d like to keep this conversation respectful Allow me to do my job and get you… ACKNOWLEDGE ACTION REALITY CLARIFY
  32. 32. Figure 8 in action “I can see this is frustrating you and you have every right to be upset about the cost. SO what you are saying is you’d like to me to turn a blind eye to the fact that you don’t have a pool fence and yet you want me to issue you with a certificate “BUT here’s the thing” I can’t authorise this and if I did I would be breaking the law and I am not prepared to do that. “SO here are a few options for you to consider”
  33. 33. Phrases you could use depending on the situation I want to work with you but I need you to be helpful. I can help you with that but I need you to hear me out Let me see if I heard you correctly Tell me what has got you so upset Will you allow me to try to help you with your concerns I would if I could but I’m not authorised to do that I would really like to help you with that but only the courts can do that
  34. 34. “I became really, really angry because I wasn’t in control.”
  35. 35. “I became really, really angry because I wasn’t in control.” Jed Millen
  36. 36. Jed’s Timeline
  37. 37. Remember:Remember: Don’t take the BAIT Don’t get drawn into the other person’s power games Maintain your self control Clarify any vague or general statements to determine just what the other person is saying
  38. 38. Your response:Your response: (continued)(continued) Deal with the difficult behaviour, not the person Respond to the difficult behaviour rather than reacting to it Choose appropriate responses to the other person’s behaviour
  39. 39. 1.1. Don’t react to emotional outburstsDon’t react to emotional outbursts 2.2. Allow people to let off steamAllow people to let off steam 3.3. Listen actively & acknowledge what isListen actively & acknowledge what is being saidbeing said 4.4. Explain, offer alternativesExplain, offer alternatives
  41. 41. When someone is aggressively throwing lots of questions at you You reply, I would like to answer….but I am not sure I understand what the real issue is Remain quiet and repeat this statement until you are able to respond
  42. 42. When someone is not willing to abide by the laws (or rules and regulations) You reply, The law says that the work you want to carry out needs a permit, do you want to help you apply for one? Under the dangerous animal act, the law requires you to surrender the dog until we can sort things out Remain quiet and repeat this statement until you are able to respond
  43. 43. When someone is making snide comments or sarcastic jokes about you You reply, That’s very rude Are you trying to be insulting? There is no need to be nasty Please don’t be disrespectful
  44. 44. When someone asking you very difficult questions Remember, you are not compelled in giving them the answer You reply, This is way too important for me to give you an immediate answer, let me get back to you when we have some more time and I have had a chance to think about it
  45. 45. If someone were to try to attack me in an argument You reply, “You seem to be fairly upset about this. What has upset you so much? So you’re saying you’d like to disregard my requests if you don’t agree with them. Is that right?” “Is this how you’d like to continue to deal with this situation?” “I’d like to keep this conversation respectful?”
  46. 46. If someone is becoming verbally aggressive and tensions are rising You reply, Let me put this to you that I think you are well aware of the legislation and you are angry because you got caught out. So I need you to listen to me as I have some options for you to think about
  47. 47. If someone is attacking you because they cannot pay a bill You reply, I can see this is very distressing for you and I know you are not making it personal – Here is what I can do right now. Now outline the options
  48. 48. When somebody has bad breath Remember, there is a difference between TRUTH and TACT You reply, Jim, you might not be aware, of this, but your breath smells a little and I want to save you the embarrassment when you see your clients
  50. 50. Key Recommendation: Establish Basic Working Conditions. It is critical that the customer be clearly informed about acceptable behaviours. Tell them that injury to him or others is unacceptable. If necessary, tell them that he may be arrested and prosecuted if he assaults anyone. This should be communicated in a matter-of-fact way and not as a threat. Key Recommendation: Limit Setting Must Be Reasonable and Done in a Respectful Manner Set limits demonstrating your intent and desire to be of help but not to be abused by the customer. If they are causing you to feel uncomfortable, this must be acknowledged. Often telling the customer that his behaviour is frightening or provocative is helpful if it is matched with an empathic statement that the desire to help can be interrupted or even derailed if the service provider feels angry, fearful, etc
  51. 51. Key Recommendation: Coach the Customer in How to Stay in Control Once you have established a relationship with the customer and determined that he has the capability to stay in control, you could use the art of influence to teach him how to stay in control. Use gentle confrontation with instruction: “I really want you to sit down or go for a walk; when you have outbursts, I feel frightened, and I can't pay full attention to what you are saying. I bet you could help me understand if you were to calmly tell me your concerns.”
  52. 52. Key Recommendation: Be Optimistic and Provide Hope Be optimistic but in a genuine way. Let customers know that things are going to improve and that they will be safe and regain control. Give realistic time frames for solving a problem and agree to help the customer work on the problem. When the customer states, “I want the process to run smoothly,” the provider can respond, “I want that for you as well; I don't want you to have to be stressed over this paperwork any longer than necessary; how can we work together so I can get the information I need to get the process underway?”
  53. 53. Key Recommendation: Avoid negative non verbal Escalation Try to demonstrate by body language that you will not harm the customer, that you want to listen, and that you want everyone to be safe. Hands should be visible and not clenched. Avoid concealed hands, which imply a concealed weapon. Knees should be slightly bent. You should avoid directly facing the agitated person and should stand at an angle to the patient so as not to appear confrontational. A calm demeanor and facial expression are important. Excessive, direct eye contact, especially staring, can be interpreted as an aggressive act. Closed body language, such as arm folding or turning away, can communicate lack of interest. It is most important that your body language be congruent with what you are saying. If not, the customer will sense that you are insincere or even “faking it” and may become more agitated and angry.
  54. 54. Key Recommendation: Introduce Yourself to the Customer and Provide Orientation and Reassurance A good strategy is to be polite. Tell them your title and name. Rapidly diminish the customers concerns about your role by explaining that you are there to help them with their concerns and to make sure no harm comes to him or anyone else. If the customers name is unknown, ask for his name. Judgment is required in deciding whether to call the person by his first or last name. Although some prefer calling all customers by their last names, this formality, in some situations, can add to a patient's suspicion and appear patronising. When in doubt, it is best to ask the customer how he prefers to be addressed; this act communicates that he is important and, from the very beginning of the interaction, that he has some control over the situation.
  55. 55. Key Recommendation: Be Concise and Keep It Simple Since agitated customers may be impaired in their ability to process verbal information, use short sentences and a simple vocabulary. More complex verbalisations can increase confusion and can lead to escalation. Give the customer time to process what has been said to him and to respond before providing additional information.
  56. 56. Key Recommendation: Repetition Is Essential to Successful De- escalation This involves persistently repeating your message to the customer until it is heard. Since the agitated customer is often limited in his ability to process information, repetition is essential whenever you make requests of the customer, set limits, offer choices, or propose alternatives. This repetition is combined with other assertiveness skills that involve listening to the customer and agreeing with his position whenever possible.
  57. 57. Identify Wants and Feelings Whether or not the request can be granted, all customers need to be asked what their request is. A statement like, “I really need to know what you expected when you came here,” is essential, as is the caveat “Even if I can't provide it, I would like to know so we can work on it.”
  58. 58. Key Recommendation: Use Active Listening Convey through verbal acknowledgment, conversation, and body language that you are really paying attention to the customer and what he is saying and feeling. As the listener, you should be able to repeat back to the customer what he has said to his satisfaction. Such clarifying statements as “Tell me if I have this right…” is a useful technique. Again, this does not mean necessarily that you agree with the customer but, rather, that you understand what he is saying.
  59. 59. @pauschmann The Point TV pauschmanagement Gerald Pauschmann