The message the Church   tends to    send…
The problem     with“just don’t do      it”
The problem        with   “just don’t do         it”1.Emphasizes   legalism
The problem         with    “just don’t do          it” 1.Emphasizes      legalism2. Ignores wisdom
The problem     with“just don’t do      it”
The problem         with    “just don’t do          it” 1.Emphasizes      legalism2. Ignores wisdom3. De-emphasizes
Changing   theconversat
Startearly!!
Start       early!!1. Get your senior  pastor on board
Start       early!!1. Get your senior  pastor on board     2. Over communicate to
GetComforta  ble
Get      Comforta1. Use a humorous          ble     video clip
Get       Comforta 1. Use a humorous           ble      video clip2. Have students do a         skit
Get       Comforta 1. Use a humorous           ble      video clip2. Have students do a         skit
Get       Comforta 1. Use a humorous           ble      video clip2. Have students do a         skit
Teachthem to think
Teach      them toFour conversations:        think
Teach       them toFour conversations:1.Have you talked with         think     God?(Genesis 2:18-24)
Teach       them toFour conversations:1.Have you talked with         think     God?(Genesis 2:18-24)2. Have you talked wit...
Teach       them toFour conversations:1.Have you talked with         think     God?(Genesis 2:18-24)2. Have you talked wit...
Teach       them toFour conversations:1.Have you talked with         think     God?(Genesis 2:18-24)2. Have you talked wit...
Put thingsin Context
Put thingsin Context
Put thingsin Context
Put things  in ContextAcquaintanc    es
Put thingsin Context    Friendship
Put thingsin Context
Put thingsin Context
Put thingsin Context      dating
Put thingsin Context     Serious     Dating
Put thingsin Context   Engagement
Put thingsin Context     Marriage
Put thingsin Context“There is no such       thing as     „premarital‟ intercourse in the        Bible.Intercourse…cons tit...
Put thingsin Context
Put things          in Context  Students Want to get   married someday… 82% of female high school    seniors and 70% ofmal...
Put things        in Context…and they “learn” about marriage every day!
Put things        in Context…and they “learn” about marriage every day!
Put things        in Context…and they “learn” about marriage every day!
Make it      personal1. When you are   vulnerable,your students will    follow suit
Make it      personal1. When you are   vulnerable,your students will    follow suit
Talking to students about dating, sex...and marriage
Talking to students about dating, sex...and marriage
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Talking to students about dating, sex...and marriage

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Jake Kircher - Talking to students about dating, sex...and marriage

Open Boston 2013
http://boston.openym.org

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  • How many of you currently do a teaching or series on these topics?Please feel free to ask questions as we go…
  • Intentionally or not…It’s uncomfortable…Parents and pastors say no…
  • Rules based…what if I fail or don’t listen? Am I not a Christian if I…
  • Wisdom is learned in two ways…1. Coming along side someone and explainingEvery situation and person are different2. Experiencing the consequences yourself
  • The natural desire for a boyfriend/girlfriend, hormones, “It’s not good for the man to be alone”Takes God out of the pictureTakes ourselves out of the picture – kids don’t want to disappoint us
  • If you aren’t having these conversations with your middle schoolers, you are setting yourself up.Get ahead of the curve!When are your students “dating?”When are they learning about sex? 7th grade boys…
  • Share stats, explain your reasoning and ask him to get behind you
  • Run a workshop for themEmail, snail mailWe’re doing this…feel free to keep your kids at homeWhat tools do you use?
  • They will take their cue from youBe willing to go there…mention ideas, phrases, etc.
  • Skit Guys are great!
  • The Dating Game/The Newlywed Game
  • Most of our students assume our “answer,” especially those who have grown up in the church.Teaching them to think completely disarms a conversation
  • Emphasizes wisdom…not a “correct age” etc.
  • Prayer!God fills Adam’s need – it’s not good for man to be alone
  • This is why a man with leave his father and mother and the two will be united into one.Why do you want the relationship?Are you willing to serve or do you just want to get?
  • Again, it’s not good for the man to be alone.Proverbs over and over…Not just their friends, but a variety of voices
  • Do you want the same things? Are your lives heading in a similar direction? Are your morals the same?Use these questions when you meet with students. (Sterling at Wendy’s)Use these about breaking up and about marriage
  • It’s why I believe we HAVE TO talk to our students about marriage
  • Hormones!!! Natural
  • …AND Marriage
  • Hooked: New Science on How Casual Sex is Affecting Our Children
  • Touching the stove…Holymess of marriage
  • Talking to students about dating, sex...and marriage

    1. 1. The message the Church tends to send…
    2. 2. The problem with“just don’t do it”
    3. 3. The problem with “just don’t do it”1.Emphasizes legalism
    4. 4. The problem with “just don’t do it” 1.Emphasizes legalism2. Ignores wisdom
    5. 5. The problem with“just don’t do it”
    6. 6. The problem with “just don’t do it” 1.Emphasizes legalism2. Ignores wisdom3. De-emphasizes
    7. 7. Changing theconversat
    8. 8. Startearly!!
    9. 9. Start early!!1. Get your senior pastor on board
    10. 10. Start early!!1. Get your senior pastor on board 2. Over communicate to
    11. 11. GetComforta ble
    12. 12. Get Comforta1. Use a humorous ble video clip
    13. 13. Get Comforta 1. Use a humorous ble video clip2. Have students do a skit
    14. 14. Get Comforta 1. Use a humorous ble video clip2. Have students do a skit
    15. 15. Get Comforta 1. Use a humorous ble video clip2. Have students do a skit
    16. 16. Teachthem to think
    17. 17. Teach them toFour conversations: think
    18. 18. Teach them toFour conversations:1.Have you talked with think God?(Genesis 2:18-24)
    19. 19. Teach them toFour conversations:1.Have you talked with think God?(Genesis 2:18-24)2. Have you talked with Yourself? (Genesis 2:24)
    20. 20. Teach them toFour conversations:1.Have you talked with think God?(Genesis 2:18-24)2. Have you talked with Yourself? (Genesis 2:24) 3.Have you talked to
    21. 21. Teach them toFour conversations:1.Have you talked with think God?(Genesis 2:18-24)2. Have you talked with Yourself? (Genesis 2:24) 3.Have you talked to
    22. 22. Put thingsin Context
    23. 23. Put thingsin Context
    24. 24. Put thingsin Context
    25. 25. Put things in ContextAcquaintanc es
    26. 26. Put thingsin Context Friendship
    27. 27. Put thingsin Context
    28. 28. Put thingsin Context
    29. 29. Put thingsin Context dating
    30. 30. Put thingsin Context Serious Dating
    31. 31. Put thingsin Context Engagement
    32. 32. Put thingsin Context Marriage
    33. 33. Put thingsin Context“There is no such thing as „premarital‟ intercourse in the Bible.Intercourse…cons titutes the sexual
    34. 34. Put thingsin Context
    35. 35. Put things in Context Students Want to get married someday… 82% of female high school seniors and 70% ofmales say that “having a good marriage and family life” is
    36. 36. Put things in Context…and they “learn” about marriage every day!
    37. 37. Put things in Context…and they “learn” about marriage every day!
    38. 38. Put things in Context…and they “learn” about marriage every day!
    39. 39. Make it personal1. When you are vulnerable,your students will follow suit
    40. 40. Make it personal1. When you are vulnerable,your students will follow suit

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