I am going to pose questionsYou are going to answer these over timeMy section is personal and this really is personal
An elderly man in Phoenix called his son in New York and said, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.""Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screamed."We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man said. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her," and he hung up.Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouted, "I'll take care of this."She called Phoenix immediately, and screamed at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hung up.The old man hung up his phone and turned to his wife. "Okay," he said, "they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own fares.
Issues and challenges do not stop with retirement. Do what worked.
Planning for Retirement
Alice H. Randolph, Ed.D. MSCPalicerandolph@psychtransitions.com Ohio Psychological Association October 27, 2011
Reflective TimeClinical Considerations – Working with Retirees and ATRs
You can stay for this session if you remember at least 50% of these! Howdy Doody Blackjack chewing gum Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar waterSoda pop machines that dispensed bottles Coffee shops with tableside jukeboxes Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers Party lines
And…45 RPM records S&H Green Stamps Hi-fis Metal ice trays with levers Mimeograph paper Blue flashbulbs Roller skate keys Studebakers Wash tub wringers Telephone numbers with a word prefix (Olive – 6933)
The Top EightThe top ways to improve your chances ofenjoying your last developmental stage. – Purpose – Family/Like family – Mental Health – Physical Health/Chronic Conditions – The Talk – The Change – Humor
Jane Loevinger• Independence Stage• Autonomous Stage• Integrated Stage
Erik Erickson• Identity vs. Role Confusion• Intimacy vs. Isolation• Generativity vs. Self Absorption• Integrity vs Despair
M. Scott Peck• Value Wisdom, Socializing• Mental Flexibility• Ego Differentiation from Work• Ego Transcendence
Stephen Jay Gould• Desire to leave parents• Leaving family• Developing Independence• Questioning self; role confusion• Urgency to attain life goals• Acceptance of ones fate• Tolerant acceptance of past
Lawrence Kohlberg• Duty to Society• Focus on authority, fixed rules, and social order. Respect is earned through adherence to duty• "Social Contract Orientation"• Emphasis upon procedural (legal) rules for reaching consensus. Awareness of the relativism of personal values.• "Ethical Principles Orientation"• Emphasis on decisions of conscience and self- chosen, abstract principles that are logical, comprehensive, universal and consistent.
PurposeWhat do you want to accomplish? Feel? Experience? Who will I be? – Existential – Spirituality – Passion – Planful • Talk to retired friends – Be wary of expectations.
Retiree RolesDr. Nancy K. Schlossberg APA 2005
Retiree RolesSearcher Explorer trial and error.Continuer Existing skills and interests.
Retiree RolesEasy Glider Enjoy unscheduled time and let each day unfold.Adventurer New endeavors.
Retiree RolesInvolved Spectator Care deeply but engage in less active ways.Retreaters Time out or disengaged.
Family/Like FamilyThe best predictor of future is past.Need for socialization and connection.Living together? Make a plan.Different stages Partners retire at different times. Adult children - life stages.
Family/Like Family• Grandchildren are God’s gift for not killing your children.• Traditions.• Passing the torch.
Health Care Directives• Can be with any witness• Forms available on line – Ohio Legal Rights Services – www.olrs.ohio.gov
DNRDo not resuscitate. Not to have cardiopulmonaryresuscitation in the event the heart or breathingstops.
Full Code• Stop at nothing• Electric paddles• Throat intubation• Feeding tubes• Ventilators• Do not unplug
DNRCC• ONLY COMFORT CARE BE ADMINISTERED BEFORE DURING AND AFTER THE TIME A PERSON’S HEART OR BREATHING STOPS
DNRCC• Do not touch e if my heart or breathing stops• Hydration• Oxygen through nasal cannula
DNRCCA• DO NOT RESUSCITATE ARREST• PERMITS THE USE OF LIFE SAVING MEASURES SUCH A BLOOD PRESSURE MEDS BEFORE A PERSON’S HEART OR BREATHING STOPS BUT ONLY COMFORT CARE AFTER HEART OR BREATHING STOPS.
DNRCCA• Use CPR but not paddles, vent or tubes.• Use• Medications• Oxygen masks• Hydration
The TalkBe nice to the kids. They are ones who willselect your nursing home.
Fun and HumorIf you don’t learn to laugh at your troubles youwon’t have anything to laugh about when youare old.Growing old is mandatory growing up isoptional.
I forget what I forgot!• Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together.• One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"• The 94 year old yells back, "I dont know. Ill come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses. "Was I going up the stairs or down?"• The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful." She knocks on wood for good measure. She then yells, "Ill come up and help both of you as soon as I see whos at the door."
Do Not Ignore the Previous Seven Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. Thank you for attending.