Wisdom From Laughter

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Excerpts from the book "Wisdom From Laughter" by Oh Teik Bin and Lee Kiang Wui

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Wisdom From Laughter

  1. 1. AUTHOR AUTHOROh Teik Bin Lee Kiang Wui Excerpts from the Book Publisher: ADVANTAGE QUEST 1
  2. 2. ‘A Laugh a day keeps the Doctor away’ “He who laughs, lasts!” Mary Pettibone PooleThe Wise Ones, knowing the true nature of things, live in harmony and peace with themselves, with others and the outside world. 2
  3. 3. The Cab DriverA taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder as he wanted to ask him something. The drivergave out a loud scream, lost control of the car, nearly hit a van, drove up a curb and stopped just afew inches from a shop window. For a moment, everything went quiet in the cab and then thedriver told the passenger, “Sir, don’t ever do that again. Did you know that you scared me out ofmy wits?”The passenger apologized and said, “I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare the daylights outof you.”The driver said, “Sorry, it’s not really your fault. You know, today is my first day as a cab driver.For the last twenty years I’ve been driving a funeral van.”Great fear can arise when one associates a present happening with one’s past circumstances orexperiences. 3
  4. 4. The Ugly BabyA mother who was carrying a baby, boarded a bus. The bus driver remarked, “That is the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!”The mother fumed at the driver’s words but went to the back of the bus and sat down. “The stupid driver just insulted me,” she told the passenger sitting beside her. “Why don’t you go right up there and tell him off?” her seatmate said, “and while you do that, I’ll hold your monkey for you.” How often have we added salt to wounds due to ignorance, carelessness or a sheer lack of mindful wisdom? 4
  5. 5. Impressive Young BusinessmanA young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office andhad it lavishly furnished.One day, while he was sitting at his office desk, he saw a man come into the outeroffice. Wanting to impress the stranger, he picked up his phone and pretended he had abig deal working. After some time, he hung up and asked the visitor, “Can I help you?”“Yeah, I’ve come to activate your phone lines,” the man replied.One who pretends or is dishonest will eventually be found out. 5
  6. 6. Long, Happy Life?A woman walked up to an old-looking man sitting in a chair onthe porch of his house.Woman : I couldn’t help butnotice how carefree you look.What is your secret for a longand happy life?”Man : Happy? I smokethree packs a day, drink a caseof beer, eat fatty foods andnever exercise. Woman : Wow, that’samazing! How old are you?Man : Twenty - eight.One’s health is often in one’shands. One’s lifestylecertainly affects one’s health. 6
  7. 7. When The Boss Jokes …When the ‘high and mighty’ boss returned from lunch one day, he was in agood mood. He called the whole staff to listen to a couple of jokes that he hadpicked up. Everybody, except for one lady, laughed and clapped loudly.“Hey, what’s the matter with you?” the boss grumbled at the lady. “Don’t youhave a sense of humour?”“I don’t have to laugh,” the lady replied. “I’m leaving the company thisFriday.”In a world of hypocrisy, many put on a front to please their superiors or tocurry a favour from them. 7
  8. 8. A Question for DaddyA six-year old girl went to her father, who was working in the garden. “Daddy, what is sex?” sheasked.The father was shocked that she would ask such a question, but he decided that if hisdaughter could ask such a question, then she was old enough to get a straight answer.He proceeded to tell her all about the ‘birds and the bees’. When he finished explaining, the littlegirl, with eyes wide open, her mouth hanging open, was completely perplexed.Puzzled, the father asked the daughter, “Why did you ask that question, darling?”“Mummy told me to come and tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of SECS.”Too often we jump to conclusions too quickly and this can lead to undesirableconsequences. 8
  9. 9. Wrong LivelihoodLim : My uncle makes a lot of money in the gambling den.Tan : What special system does he use?Lim : Whenever there is a raid by the police, he grabs all the moneyand hides it.Tan : But if there are no raids by the police?Lim : Then my uncle calls them.Scoundrels and immoral people resort to all ways for material gain. 9
  10. 10. Simple OperationA man was wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital, in hiswheelchair, just before his operation.An attendant stopped him and asked, “What’s the matter?”The frightened man said, “I heard the nurse in the operation theatre say, ‘It’s avery simple operation, don’t worry. I am sure it will be all right.’ ”“The nurse was just trying to reassure you. Why are you so frightened?” theattendant asked.“The nurse was not talking to me. She was talking to the surgeon!”Fear arises due to our reaction to another’s speech or actions. 10
  11. 11. No RespectThe boss of a company used to throw hisweight around. He often nagged his staffmembers unreasonably and told themthat they must show more respect forhim.One morning he brought asign that read “ I AM THE BOSS ”. Hehung it on his office door.Later that day when he returned from hislunch break, he found that someone hadtaped a note to the sign on his office door.The note said: “YOUR WIFE CALLED.SHE WANTS HER SIGN BACK.”How many hen-pecked husbandsbecome nasty bosses in their places ofwork treating their subordinates in mostunreasonable ways? 11
  12. 12. A Better JobA little girl climbed into her grandfather’s lap and studied his white, balding head. She ran her fingers along the deep wrinkles and felt the old man’s rough face and neck.“Did God make you?” the little girl asked.“Yes,” the grandfather replied.“Did God make me too?” she asked.“Of course darling,” the old man replied.“Well,” the little girl shrugged, feeling the smoothness of her face, “don’t you think He’s doing a better job now than He used to?”Little children can pose questions which can be quite tricky. Beware! 12
  13. 13. SuperstitionA thief and his accomplice had entered a high-rise building and had stolen somejewelry from an apartment. Suddenly there was a police siren.Thief : Quick Buddy … the police are coming … jump out of the window!Accomplice : But we’re on the 13th floor!Thief : You stupid fool! This is no time to be superstitious! Fear or panic arising from a person’s wrong doing can lead him into terrible consequences. 13
  14. 14. MeditationA meditation teacher walked around to check on a group of meditators . Henoticed that a meditator was alternately pressing his nostril, right and then left andthen right and so on. He was indeed very puzzled. After the meditation session wasover, the teacher called up the meditator who had been meditating in a strange way.Teacher : Why were you meditating in a strange way … pressing your nostril, one ata time?Meditator : Sir, I was merely following your instructions. You said, ‘Breathing in …onenose. Breathing out …one nose.’The teacher was shocked. He had instructed, ‘Breathing in …one knows, breathingout …one knows.’Be careful! So many things in our life go wrong because we misinterpretinstructions. 14
  15. 15. “I’d do Anything …”A sexy young lady undergraduate entered a young professor’s office. She closed the door and knelt down pleadingly.“I would do anything to pass this exam,” she pleaded. She then leant closer to him, flipped back her hair, gazed sexily into his eyes. “I mean …” she whispered, “ …I would do … anything.”“Anything?” the professor returned her gaze.“Yes, absolutely anything,” she said sexily.The professor whispered to her, “Go back and study your lecture notes.”Never resort to immoral behaviour to try to achieve your goal. Honest hard work is the only way. 15
  16. 16. One Fine DayA husband and wife were returning home by bus after their weekly marketing. The husband lighted a cigarette and started puffing away.Wife : Hey, didn’t the doctor advise you to stop smoking months ago?Husband : Indeed he did, darling. And I promised the doctor I will quit smoking one fine day.Wife : It’s been three months already. Hasn’t that fine day arrived?Husband : Ah … every time I decide to quit when the fine day comes, the day immediately turns lousy!It takes a strong will power to give up one’s bad habits. 16
  17. 17. Age SecretA woman went to a gambling casino for the first time. At a roulette table,she said, “I really have no idea what number I should bet on.”A young handsome man nearby suggested that she betted on a numbercorresponding to her age. The woman smiled at the man and she put hermoney on the number ‘24’ The wheel of the roulette was spun and thenumber ‘42’ came up. The smile drifted from the woman’s face and shefainted. The wise ones tell us that ‘Honesty is the best policy.’ 17
  18. 18. Wagging his tailA man paid a visit to his friend. He noticed that his friend with two other guys were playing cards with a dog at a table. The dog appeared to be playing impressively.“You have a very smart dog,” the man commented to his friend.“Not so smart,” one of the players said. “He never wins. Every time he needs a certain card, he wags his tail a certain number of times.” Even a smart person is capable of showing stupid behavior or revealing something that should not be shown. 18
  19. 19. Birth Control“I’ve got to go to the doctor torenew my prescription of birthcontrol pills,” Suzie told her friendMaggie.“But I thought you said yourhusband had a vasectomy,”Maggie answered with a puzzledlook..“He did,” Suzie said. “That’s why Ican’t afford to get pregnant.”How many spouses cheat on theirpartners hoping to keep theirsecrets from each other. There is aprice to pay once the affair leaksout. 19
  20. 20. The MechanicA dentist brought his new car to a mechanic for repair. After an hour’s work, themechanic told the dentist that the charge was RM 200.“What? RM 200 for just an hour’s work?” the dentist barked.The mechanic said calmly, “You charge RM 200 for just 20 minutes of dentalwork and you are dealing with the same old human teeth. You know, I have tolearn to repair 3 to 5 new car models every year!The ordinary worker with little education may be smarter or more‘cunningly unscrupulous’ than you ever expect. He can cleverly rationalizeall his actions. 20
  21. 21. The Pay Roll ClerkA pay roll clerk was alone in the office when two masked robbers entered.“This is a stick-up,” one of robbers said, pointing a gun at the clerk. “You make amove and you are dead! Just hand over all the money and you won’t get hurt.”Fearing for her life, the clerk obeyed, and the robbers scooped up all the moneyand put the notes in their pockets.As the robbers made for the door, the clerk shouted, “Just a minute! Please takethe payroll books too! The auditors are coming tomorrow!”Incompetent workers sometimes resort to unethical ways to cover up themistakes they commit. 21
  22. 22. The End “May you Laugh your way to good Health. May Wisdom be your greatest Wealth!” With Best Wishes, Oh Teik Bin & Lee Kiang Wui“Wisdom From Laughter” is available at the following: MPH , Popular, Times, Kinokuniya in Malaysia & Singapore 22

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