The Past Perfect
With Humor 13
Will/going to – 1
Complete the jokes by putting will (‘ll) or (be) going to
in the gaps provided
1 Darling, I want to see the world!
> I …… give you an atlas for your next birthday, then.
2 I …… buy one of those small Japanese radios.
> But how will you understand what they are saying?
3 Waiter, there’s only one piece of meat on my plate.
> Just wait a minute, sir, and I ….. cut it in two.
4 A motorist ran over an old lady’s cat and killed it.
> I’m very sorry, said the motorist. I ….. replace your
cat, of course.
Very well, but I hope you’re good at catching mice.
5 What are you doing with that gun?
> I ….. shoot you.
> Because you look like me.
I look like you?
Then shoot me.
6 How old are you now, Billy?
And what …. you ……. do when you are big like your
> Stop eating chocolate!
7 Mummy, mummy! Where are you? Cried a little boy at
> You poor boy, said an old woman. Come with me and I
…. get you an ice cream and then we …. go and look
for your mummy.
I know where your mother is, said a small girl. She’s
8 I have some good news for you and some bad news.
> Tell me the bad news first, doctor.
I ….. amputate your legs.
> And what is the good news?
The man in the next bed wants to buy your shoes.
9 The British are planning to travel to the sun in a
rocket next year, said a British scientist.
> But, said an American scientist, as you get near the sun
the heat will melt the rocket.
We are not stupid, said the British scientist. We ….. travel
10 A circus was visiting a small town in France. The lion
tamer walked into a bar and asked:
> Do you serve Americans in here?
Sure, said the barman.
> Okay, I …. have a beer for myself, and two Americans
For my lion outside.
1 ‘ll 2 ‘m 3 ‘ll 4 ‘ll 5 ‘m going to
6 are you to 7 ‘ll, ‘ll 8 ‘m going to 9 are going to
* Accidents happen when
we are not mindful.
* When doing a task, we
must have full concentration.
* Train the mind to be
alert, mindful & focused.
“I was thinking of