Mentor training


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A training for high school students interested in being peer mentors. The training covers the roles of a mentor, relationship boundaries, communication techniques, and problem solving skills.

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  • Icebreaker: me as a mentor Discuss bullet 1 and 4- qualities of a mentor + roles a mentor can play. Make a list of qualities and roles on the board. For the qualities identify which ones might be categorized as communication skills.
  • -focus on the needs of the mentee; Encourage good social skills, responsible values, and positive identity -Encourage your mentee to develop his or her potential; Help your mentee develop a vision for the future -respect your mentee’s privacy & let them know information is confidential, but ask for help if a situation arises that you can’t handle -keep your commitment -Why should you limit these actions? You want to use your experiences and the lessons you learned as a means to help your mentee learn those same lessons. You don’t want to solve their problems and give them a solution. You want to help and guide them to finding a solution of their own. Example about boyfriend girlfriend troubles. -Any additional thoughts or questions?
  • -Mentoring is a relationship where each person has defined roles. Boundaries help reinforce those roles. -For boundaries to be effective they need to be applied on a consistent and ongoing basis. -You should decide what boundaries are important to you before the match begins and before being confronted with a difficult situation - Some areas where boundaries might come up are time, behavior, and self-disclosure - Give out 4 different scenarios
  • -reinforce confidentiality. Break confidentiality. -Any additional thoughts or questions?
  • -being around lots of people may stifle the conversation -icebreaker questions help you get to know your mentee. Don’t just drill your mentee with questions. Answer the questions you ask as well. Encourage your mentee to ask you questions about yourself. -building trust: be fully present (don’t use your cell phone); consistency; be yourself
  • -Close-ended questions allow for a one or two word response. Do you like school? Do you get along with your family? How was school today? -Some people may respond with more than a one-two word response -you will ask close-ended questions, the best way to get/keep the conversation going to follow-up -Also when you answer questions provide open-ended responses
  • Role Play: Sample 1 st meeting 4 volunteers- 3 minute break while they are honing their role plays. Discussion/reflection after each role play. Any additional thoughts or questions about getting started/open-ended communication?
  • - We all have our own opinions about everything. Tie back into advice giving. Focus on needs of your mentee. Help them figure out what their opinions are about things. - Be prepared for the unexpected or shocking answer. You may ask a question and get an answer you did not expect or want. Try to understand where your mentee is coming from.
  • Non-judgmental communication is also about listening and understanding what is being said. Active listening is about being and showing the speaker that you are attentive. Sit + Lean: body language track- relate to eye contact
  • Reflect on what your mentee says. Put out a “feeler”. Your mentee will correct you if you are mistaken. Activity “211 Someone says… you say…”
  • You solve problems and make decisions everyday. You don’t consciously think about the steps each time you make a decision or solve a problem, but these are probably similar to the steps you follow. Problem Solving role plays
  • Mentor training

    1. 1. Peer Mentor Training Mayor’s Office for Children, Youth and Families 50 Broad St. Charleston, SC 29401
    2. 2. <ul><li>AGENDA </li></ul><ul><li>Overview/Logistics of Program & Introductions </li></ul><ul><li>A. Purpose </li></ul><ul><li>B. Ground Rules </li></ul><ul><li>C. Program Goals </li></ul><ul><li>Role of a Mentor </li></ul><ul><ul><li>A. Expectations of Mentors </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>B. Establishing and Maintaining Boundaries </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>C. Tips for the 1st Session </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Listening and Communication </li></ul><ul><ul><li>A. Open-ended Questions </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>B. Non-judgmental responses </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>C. Listening to understand </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Problem Solving </li></ul><ul><ul><li>A. Managing Conflict </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>B. Making Decisions </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Feedback </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Additional Q&A </li></ul></ul>
    3. 3. Roles of Mentors <ul><li>A Mentor is </li></ul><ul><li>A friend </li></ul><ul><li>A coach </li></ul><ul><li>A supporter </li></ul><ul><li>A motivator </li></ul><ul><li>An advocate </li></ul><ul><li>A role model </li></ul><ul><li>A listener </li></ul><ul><li>A mentor is not </li></ul><ul><li>A surrogate parent </li></ul><ul><li>Replacement of a teacher or tutor </li></ul><ul><li>A psychologist </li></ul><ul><li>An ATM </li></ul><ul><li>A playmate </li></ul><ul><li>A social worker </li></ul><ul><li>A savior </li></ul>
    4. 4. Expectations of Mentors <ul><li>Mentors should </li></ul><ul><li>Ask the mentee what they would like to do during a meeting </li></ul><ul><li>Listen more than talk </li></ul><ul><li>Play games, just hang out, or help with homework depending on what the mentee asks for that day </li></ul><ul><li>Allow the mentee to naturally bring up issues and concerns about his or her life </li></ul><ul><li>Help to build the mentee’s own confidence to be successful </li></ul><ul><li>Mentors should limit </li></ul><ul><li>Tell the mentee what they need to do during the match meeting </li></ul><ul><li>Give advice more than listen </li></ul><ul><li>Focus on hard tasks to meet specific goals based on what the mentor thinks the mentee needs </li></ul><ul><li>Push the mentee to talk about issues or concerns about his/her life </li></ul><ul><li>Try to “fix” the mentee’s problems </li></ul>
    5. 5. Boundaries <ul><li>Can be thought of as a protective barrier that helps to keep us safe </li></ul><ul><li>Is important so that each person in a mentoring relationship is clear about his/her role </li></ul><ul><li>Help establish trust in the relationship </li></ul>
    6. 6. Boundaries Scenario 1 <ul><li>You arrive at your usual meeting place, but your mentee has not arrived. You had previously called your mentee to let him/her know what time to meet. What should you do or say next time you talk to your mentee? </li></ul>
    7. 7. Boundaries Scenario 2 <ul><li>You have been matched with your mentee for about 6 weeks and you are starting to bond. Your mentee texts you about a big party happening over the weekend and asks you for a ride. How will you handle the situation? </li></ul>
    8. 8. Boundaries Scenario 3 <ul><li>You and your mentee hit it off right away. You were very excited about your match until a couple of weeks ago when your mentee started calling you and sending you multiple texts throughout the day. You don’t want to hurt your mentee’s feelings, but are tired and overwhelmed with all the calls and texts. What should you do? </li></ul>
    9. 9. Boundaries Scenario 4 <ul><li>You and your mentee have been consistently meeting for a couple of months and have some really great conversations. One day your mentee tells you that he/she is ready to have sex and asks your advice about being safe. What do you do? </li></ul>
    10. 10. Boundaries- Key Points <ul><li>If you are not sure how to respond to a situation, you have every right to request time to think about it. </li></ul><ul><li>It is best to set boundaries from the start and make adjustments as necessary. </li></ul><ul><li>If you are unsure about a situation, need help figuring out how to proceed, or need an intervention, you can go to program staff for support. </li></ul>
    11. 11. Tips for getting started <ul><li>Be prepared and be on time </li></ul><ul><li>Have your first few meetings somewhere where it will be easy to talk </li></ul><ul><li>Clarify expectations and ground rules </li></ul><ul><li>Have some icebreaker questions ready </li></ul><ul><li>Be predictable and consistent </li></ul><ul><li>Establish confidentiality </li></ul>
    12. 12. Open-ended Communication <ul><li>Learn to ask questions that require more than one-word answers </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Use “What” or “How” </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Keep the conversation going by asking follow-up questions or providing open-ended responses to questions asked </li></ul>
    13. 13. Sample Inviting Questions <ul><li>What is your favorite thing to do at school? </li></ul><ul><li>How would you change school, if you could? </li></ul><ul><li>What do you look for in a friend? </li></ul><ul><li>What do you like to do with your friends? </li></ul><ul><li>How do you deal with stress? </li></ul><ul><li>What do you hope to be doing in five years? </li></ul><ul><li>How are you going to get there? </li></ul><ul><li>How do you handle homework? </li></ul><ul><li>What five words best describe you? </li></ul>
    14. 14. Non-judgmental Communication <ul><li>Make sure you understand what is said or felt </li></ul><ul><ul><li>“ did you mean that…” or “What I heard you say is…” </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Respond neutrally without approving or disapproving </li></ul><ul><ul><li>“ That’s one way of looking at it. What might be another?” or “What might your friends, parent, teacher, think about that?” </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Show your mentee that what he or she says is valued </li></ul>
    15. 15. What could you say instead of… <ul><li>If you go out tonight, you will fail your test tomorrow! </li></ul><ul><li>Kids who make fun of you are not really your friends. </li></ul><ul><li>You need to learn to work harder. </li></ul><ul><li>Why did you do that ? </li></ul>
    16. 16. Active Listening <ul><li>S it up straight </li></ul><ul><li>L ean forward </li></ul><ul><li>A ct interested </li></ul><ul><li>N od </li></ul><ul><li>T rack </li></ul>
    17. 17. Listening to understand <ul><li>Be aware of your body language </li></ul><ul><li>Don’t plan what to say next while your mentee is talking </li></ul><ul><li>Listen for emotions, attitudes and feelings. </li></ul><ul><ul><li>“It sounds like you’re feeling angry about that” or “You seem discouraged” or “Are you tired?” </li></ul></ul>
    18. 18. Problem Solving/Decision Making Model <ul><li>Define the Problem </li></ul><ul><li>Brainstorm Options </li></ul><ul><li>Anticipate the Consequences </li></ul><ul><li>Respond with the best choice </li></ul>
    19. 19. Final Thoughts <ul><li>Additional Q&A </li></ul><ul><li>The Mentee Training </li></ul><ul><li>Robyn Mulligan, AmeriCorps VISTA </li></ul><ul><li>[email_address] </li></ul>