Welcome toLove & Logic A GUIDE FOR PARENTS Presented by Dr. Jim Scott
Goals of ParentingRaise Children who are: Independent Able to think critically Good problem solving Know they are loved Secure
THREE STYLES OFPARENTINGHelicopters Drill Sergeants Consultants
HelicoptersHoverRescueAs parents youdo it all!Children learn theydo not haveto be accountable.
Drill SergeantsWork by command and intimidationAs parents you call allthe shots.As a child you are taught not to think!
ConsultantsOffer help when asked.As parents your role is tohelp children solve theirown problemsAs a child you are valued .You learn there are solutions andconsequences to their behaviors.
Love and Logic PrinciplesAdults set firm limitsin a loving way.Childhood mistakes are seen as an opportunity for Learning
InstantEmpathetic EnforceableResponse Statements When the adult has immediate Control Choices Within Uh, Oh Limits song
Problem Solving Instant Empathetic Delayed Response consequence When the Adult has No Immediate ControlOne-Liners to StrategicNeutralize Arguing Training Restitution
NUTRALIZING ARGUING ANTICIPATORY CONSEQUENCES EMPATHETIC RESPONSES CREATE ENFORCEABLE STATEMENTS CHOICES WITHIN LIMITS “UH, OH SONG” RESTITTUTIONGUIDING KIDS TO SOLVE THEIR OWN PROBLEMS
Neutralize Arguing• Don’t allow your children to control your actions or you!
Two steps to Neutralize Arguing 1) Use Instant Empathetic Responses The expression of genuine empathy has an amazing ability to soak up emotions. I understand.. You sound up set I know just what you mean
Step 2 Neutralize Arguing Use love and logic one- liners It is important that you use these one liners over and over.
Famous One LinersKeep your composureListen be reflectiveCreate Statements that do notallow for control Respond with Empathy
Famous One liners• Send “Can do” Messages• Give only choices you like• Take care of yourself and set limits• Use the sandwich technique
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