This document contains 5 articles related to marketing and Halloween. The first article discusses "Frankenspeak" or convoluted marketing language. The second describes 5 "monsters" that can suck the life out of blog posts. The third outlines 3 scary traits for marketers to avoid - narcissism, apathy, and procrastination. The fourth provides 5 lessons content writers can learn from scary stories. The fifth is an infographic identifying 8 monsters that scare marketers, such as neglected websites and failed marketing campaigns.

2. Five
Spooky articles
and bone-chilling posts
from MarketingProfs

3. Are You Scared Yet? It’s Frankenspeak Day!
By Ann Handley
It’s Frankenstein Friday—an event that
celebrates the birth of the famous
fictional character. I’m co-opting the
holiday, which takes place annually the
last Friday in October, to talk about my
favorite kind of related monster,
Frankenspeak.
As I define it, Frankenspeak is convoluted
text that doesn’t sound like it was penned
by a human, but instead sounds like it was created in a lab.
Sometimes, it reads like someone bolted on words to create a terrifying string
of nonsense (“our mission-critical, scalable, high-performance, unparalleled,
game-changing solution”) or bloated bit of buzzwords (“We have assembled
surgical and clinical expertise second to none, have a state-of-the-art trauma

4. center, developed sophisticated minimally invasive techniques, and called on
innovative training and technology to ensure the highest level of patient safety
and quality of care,” as my friend David Meerman Scott wrote
about recently.)Either way, it’s sales-y language and useless marketing hype.
In Content Rules, C.C. Chapman and I wrote about the words and phrases that
we’d like to ban from marketing, sales, corporate communications, business
schools, blogs and boardrooms. But since today is a day to celebrate the scary,
here are 10 of the most frightening:
1. Impactful. Ugh. This is a truly scary
word that many people in business and
education like to toss around to describe
things that make an impact. But the word
does not appear in most dictionaries and,
if it does, should be banished. Instead try:
“influential” or “substantial.” “Powerful” is
good, too.

5. 2. Leverage. This word is the poster child of words that began life as nouns and
(perplexingly) find themselves used as verbs. Instead try: (depending on the
intended meaning) “influence,” “exploit,” “enhance,” “rely on,” or just plain
“use.”
3. Synergy. Also: Synergistic Synergism. Synergize. (And while we are on it, let’s
add all most words that end in “-ize” too: “incentivize,” “productize,”
“monetize,” “budgetize,” “utilize,” “socialize,” “operationalize,” and (wait for
it!) “calenderize,” which I actually heard someone use the other day. And yes,
she had a perfectly straight face. Instead try: finding a word that doesn’t sound
like it was first uttered by the robot.
4. Revolutionary or Innovative. People often use these terms in business to
describe things that really aren’t. Unless you just invented an escalator to
Pluto, don’t use them.
5. Email blast. Businesses often use this phrase to describe an offer they’ve
emailed to their subscriber list. The problem is that it suggests disrespect. Are
you a spammer? Then you’ve “blasted.” Legitimate businesses mailing a

6. legitimate offer to an opt-in subscriber list? Not so much. Instead try: How
about “sent”?
6. Proactive. The opposite of “reactive.” I understand that businesses want to
seem like they’re reacting to issues even before they occur. But I think this
word just sounds pompous and should be avoided in business. Instead
try: depending on the intended meaning, “foresee” or “anticipate.”
7. Solution. Another favorite. Business people often use this word to describe
or product or service they can’t otherwise explain. What’s wrong with
“product” or “service”?
8. Words that individually are harmless, but mashed together become horrid:
Buy-in. Mission-critical. Dial-in. Best-of-breed. End-to-end. Value-add. Next-
generation. Game-changing. Face-time. Push-back. Net-net. Win-win. And low-
hanging (as it applies to “fruit” when you aren’t talking about an actual tree or
orchard).
9. Ridiculous phrases. There are a kajillion of these corporate-speak silly
phrases: Run it up the flagpole. Eat your own dogfood. Out of pocket. At the

7. end of the day. Peel the onion. Peel the grape. Open the kimono. Open the
kimono at the end of the day while you are peeling an onion.
10. Finally, here are two more I dislike: “Nazi” when applied to business
concepts (as in “brand Nazi”) or “drinking the Kool-Aid” as applied to accepting
ideas or concepts (sometimes, without understanding). Since these two
phrases are rooted in unfortunate and regrettable events in history, using them
seems offensive or (at the very least) in bad taste.

8. 5 Monsters That Suck the Life Out of Your Blog Post
By Verónica Maria Jarski
Scarier than any made-up monster,
the following creatures often take
hold of blogs and drive away interest
(and business). To make sure that
your blog hasn’t fallen under their
wicked spells, we offer a quick field
guide to identifying the creatures and
how you can beat them.
1. The Vampire: This monster sucks
the life out of your blog and leaves you with dry copy—and a shell of an idea.
The signs that this monster is gnawing on your blog are: pale, lackluster writing
and a lack of reflection.
Avoid becoming one: Keep your blog posts fresh. Write lively copy. Use active
words and crisp descriptions!

9. 2. The Zombie: This blog staggers around like the dead. It has no life within it
but wants to feast solely on the work of others. Signs that the zombie is
gnawing on your blog are: an enormous amount of links and, oh, so very little
content.
Avoid becoming one: Choose your links carefully. Create fresh content in
various formats when possible, such as videos, infographics, podcasts, etc.
3. The Werewolf: This monster howls at the latest and greatest trends then
chases them down without purpose. It never takes the time to develop an
understanding of any trend in depth, but just goes scurrying from fad to fad.
Signs that the werewolf is on the loose on your blog are: lack of focus or
purpose on your blog, lack of discerning what is valuable to your readers (and
what’s a waste of time) and rambling prose that goes nowhere.
Avoid becoming one: Blog with a purpose. Know what you want the blog to be
about. Playing around with different ideas is fine, but you don’t want your blog
to run wild in a pointless path.

10. 4. The Mummy: The wrappings look intriguing enough, but there’s no life
there. Signs that your blog has become a mummy: a lovely design but no new
content; widgets like counters that never get used; comboxes that never get
comments; and lots of silence in social media, too.
Avoid becoming one: Keep your blog active by posting regularly. Create an
editorial calendar to help you keep track of ideas. Share your content by
tweeting about it, linking to your post through other social media channels, etc.
Recruit a guest blogger now and then to keep things interesting.
5. The Ghost: This blog bears some resemblance to the mummy, however it’s
far worse. It’s the blog that someone set up and even made look nice. But you
never did anything else with it. Ghostly and pale, this blog has links that go
nowhere, instructions from the template still on it, fake text, etc. Signs that
your blog is a ghost: You completely forgot about that blog until you read this
description … and now you’re thinking, “Whatever happened to that blog I
started?”

11. Avoid becoming one: Make a commitment to your blogging efforts. Set a time
table for it. And then stick to it. Just make sure you have enough time to
nurture readers and develop it.

12. The Scariest Traits a Marketer Can Possess
By Corey O'Loughlin
Marketing is a challenging profession,
one that requires us to be fully
engaged and involved in the changes
to our brand—and also in our industry.
Marketers must stay up to speed on all
new developments or they will quickly
risk obsolescence.
That being said, plenty of marketers
possess a few very scary traits that
impact their brands and their
effectiveness. Here are three deadly traits to avoid.
Narcissism—Let’s face it. Most of us aren’t “experts.” Most of us haven’t been
published, aren’t keynote-caliber speakers, and haven’t made serious advances
in our marketing niche. That doesn’t mean we aren’t good marketers; we

13. certainly are. But lately it seems that most marketers are asserting themselves
as experts—and this is a very slippery slope.
When the narcissism trait sneaks into your marketing team, you quickly lose
the ability to work well with others, adapt to changes, and value outside
feedback. Avoid this trait, stay humble, keep learning, and listen to the
feedback of others!
Apathy—We’ve all seen it, and we all know how toxic it can be. A marketer
cannot become apathetic. The drive we have as marketers to be constantly
searching for innovative ideas and creative solutions is what keeps our brands
performing. If you are becoming apathetic in your current role, it’s time to find
another job!
Marketers need to actively seek inspiration and new ideas. That’s why you are
reading the MarketingProfs blog after all, isn’t it? Also, marketers need to be
sure they are constantly reflecting on the data and acting on facts, not
assumptions.

14. Procrastination—Time management is an essential skill for marketers. With
our to-do lists growing, putting tasks off is simply not an option. Setting SMART
goals and developing a plan to achieve those goals can help keep your efforts
on track, but beyond that, marketers need to be dedicated to the cause and
eager to achieve in order to resist the urge to procrastinate.
After all, you know what they say about procrastination: It’s not good. (OK,
that’s not really what they say, but I’ll keep it clean.)

15. 5 Content Writing Lessons from Bone-Chilling Tales
By Verónica Maria Jarski
Love them or hate them, scary
stories are part of the human
experience. In the United States,
we celebrate Halloween today, but
every other country has version of
their own spooky traditions. And
part of the experience is the
sharing of stories.
So, what elements have made
those stories last so long? And
what can marketers learn from
them? Here are five main reasons that the stories have stayed with us—and
ideas for how we, too, can create long-lasting content.

16. 1. Write with rich detail.
It’s not just a horseman. It’s the Headless Horseman. It’s not just a Snowman,
it’s the Abominable Snowman. The details and the emotion-inspiring
words, harrowing, spine-tingling, dripping, thumping, screeching, blood-red,
raven-black, etc. make the story come to life for us.
What you can do: Writing content rich in details does not mean writing a tome.
It means using words carefully—like a poet—with each word meaning
something. Think of the writing greats like Ernest Hemingway who said much
with little. Use your words well.
2. Use a character that inspires strong emotion.
Whether you find him intriguing or vain, Dr. Frankenstein doesn’t leave readers
feeling indifferently towards him. Something draws us to him and his fiendish
creation. So, whether readers are entranced by Count Dracula or cheering on
vampire hunter Van Helsing, the important fact is that the reader is reacting.
What you can do: If you’re writing a case study, make sure the reader can
identify with the company or the person you are writing about. Make the reader
care. If you are sharing a customer success story, make sure the reader believes

17. this is really a person, not a flimsy cardboard cut-out representation of a
person.
3. Sentences do something.
The raven quoth, the telltale heart is thumping. Witches fly in the sky.
Werewolves howl at the moon. Sentences in spooky stories are active. They
don’t passively describe what is happening, but movement is described.
What you can do: Use active sentences in your content. Passive sentences have
their place, of course, but active ones should rule the day.
4. Wordplay underlines the story.
One of the most famous scenes from “Macbeth” features the three witches
over a cauldron, murmuring, “Double, double, toil and trouble. Fire burn, and
cauldron bubble.” It’s the rhyme and rhythm that stays in our mind long after
the play is done. The same with Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Raven.” It’s the
repetitive word “nevermore” that begins to drive the reader a little nutty just
as the raven is doing the same to the narrator.

18. What you can do: Know your literary terms, such as personification, alliteration,
metaphors, and analogies. By becoming familiar with these terms, your writing
can employ these when necessary. It’s not as complicated as it sounds. You
don’t need to write a classic poem or story, but use these writing tools to add
texture to your content.
5. The story takes you somewhere.
A good writer carries you along a journey. You follow down the corridors in
search for the cask of Amontillado in one Poe short story. In another, you can
hear the narrator fall into madness as he hears the tell-tale heart beating ever
louder.
What you can do: Take your reader on a journey. In Nancy Duarte’s Take 10,
she discusses the highlights in carrying your audience, as the hero, through a
journey from what was to what can be. Your destination isn’t the same as one
in a spooky story, but the important part is to have a destination for your
visitor.
BONUS: A lesson is learned.
In a film class I took, the instructor told us that lessons can be learned even in

19. horror movies: Don’t separate yourself from a group when camping. Don’t go
smooching when you need to be helping out. Don’t go into the basement when
the light bulb isn’t working. Don’t leave your tent without a flashlight. And
don’t ever, ever pick on someone because they’ll come back and get you.
What you can do: Whether a big lesson or small lesson, leave the reader with
something new to ponder.

20. A Marketer's Halloween: Eight Monsters That Scare Us
[Infodoodle]
By Verónica Maria Jarski
Hockey-mask wearing villains? Things that go bump in the night? Clowns?
Boring. What really scares us are neglected websites, frankenspeak, and
projects that suck the life right out of you.
On this Halloween day, we're sharing an infodoodle of what a marketer's
Halloween really looks like.In the infodoodle below, you see what turns our
hair white with fear and what makes us bite our fingernails down to the quick.
1. Just-once customers. Customers who do fly-bys horrify marketers. They
check out your website and never return. They buy your product and never
buy another one. They listen to your talk and never come back.
2. Neglected Websites or Blogs. Straight out of the 1990s, sites that feature
too many animated GIFs, music, anything that blinks (or quite frankly,
moves) strikes terror into our hearts. Nothing says you don't give a flying
bat like creating your online space and neglecting it.

21. 3. Ghosts of Failed Marketing Campaigns. Failure happens---but failure can
be transformed into a learning experience. (Yes, it sounds hokey and like
what a losing team murmurs to itself in consolation, but it's true. Failure
gets the best out of you when you stay haunted by the failure. Best to just
face it, see why it failed, and then learn from it. Don't let past failures ruin
future successes.
4. Vampire of Life-draining Projects. We all have projects that suck the life
out of us. Either they go on too long or they have grown fangs that bite
into you and bleed you dry. Beware of projects that last too long, seem
endless, or sound more beneficial than they really are.
5. Frankenspeak. Smarty-pants language seldom is intelligent. Frankenspeak,
as Ann Handley dubbed it, is "is convoluted text that doesn’t sound like it
was penned by a human, but instead sounds like it was created in a lab."
And if you've watched horror films, you know that anything haphazardly
slapped together in a lab will create havoc and destruction in its wake.
Scary!
6. Stale, Mummified Content. Some companies create a piece of content and
practically embalm it. Unchanged and underwraps, the content is dead but

22. only has the form of a human. What scares us is content that is presented
by a company on every social channel in the exact same way.
7. Lean Budgets. You can't write about scary things without discussing
budgets. Marketers often ask how they can do this or that on their
shoestring budgets. You can do a lot with a lean budget---but that doesn't
mean you don't hold your breath, cross your fingers, and worry.
8. Great Pumpkins of Unanalyzed Data. Sometimes, too much data can be
overwhelming. Like pumpkins, they are heavy, hard to carry, and awkward
to handle. Don't let yourself be crushed by too much data.
See the infodoodle on the next page for a visual about marketer's fears.