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The Truth About Jealousy

This article gives you deep insight into the emotional issue of jealousy.

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The Truth About Jealousy

  1. 1. ==== ====This article provides you with helpful insights on emotional ====This article will not take up too much of your time, but will be very helpful in your daily life. Whatyou are going to read is important in regards to the very controlling and confusing issue that somany women are challenged with every day, for some every single minute of their day. In thisparticular part of the jealousy series, you will learn what jealousy feels like and just how seriousand captivating an emotion it can be. The next article will talk more about dealing with jealousyand how one can actually get control of it.In the next few minutes you will learn what and how a woman feels when she is stuck in this veryreal and controlling jealous emotion.It has been proven that many women are not even able to identify this confusion of thoughts thatthey are suffering from. A very big part of healing and winning these battles of jealousy is inidentifying your enemy. In this situation the enemy is the jealous emotion that results from a muchdeeper issue that may or may not be obvious to its victim. You will hear more about that in a bit.Through research and in speaking with many women every day through, jealousy seems to be a very big issue that has them in such a downwardspiral that they cannot find a way to get hold of it.One of the main causes for this negative emotion, "jealousy" stems from a time in a persons lifewhen an emotional wound is created, which severely attacks their safe world or in other wordstheir feelings of inner securities. These insecurities will seriously affect a womans self-esteem,which will in turn result in feelings of low self-worth, lack of a self-respect, and mistrust. Theseemotional wounds can be caused from several types of abuse or trauma such as, physical,psychological or an over-restrictive/dominated childhood. If a child is sexually abused, then thatchilds security is threatened through the fact that she trusted the abuser and almost always growsup feeling that they were at fault for the abuse. This also rings true in an adult life, especially if thevictim truly trusts and sees her abuser as almost," God" like. When a child is psychologicallyabused, they usually live a life of demeaning name calling or belittling, again this does happen toadults in a trusting relationship. The over-restrictive or dominating upbringing begins at an earlychildhood and then follows through into adulthood. Each and every one of these abuses that youhave just have just heard about are definite cuts that eventually turn into deep emotional wounds.These wounds will send a person into a prison, a prison of fear and weakness that they will carrythroughout their lives if they do not learn to identify them and deal with them and strengthen theirinner self. So many women search for answers to solve this scrambled up problem that they canfeel inside of themselves, always coming up with a 0. They tend to look outside of themselves andthat is the mistake that they are making. So many jealousy issues come from within.
  2. 2. The human brain is set up of two minds, which allows two ways of thinking, one being positive andone being negative. Unfortunately if a person is somehow mistreated or loses a trust as you haveheard about earlier through my thoughts, at any time in their lives, it tends to weaken their ability tomaintain a balance between the two. This is when they will fall prey to certain triggers that willignite the fuse that leads to jealousy. You may be wondering what triggers are, they can beanything from a memory of your past, a smell, a persons laughter, a picture, another women, afeeling of being left alone, or even a look from a partner. There are many different types of triggersthat will set off negative emotions. In this series of articles you will learn about relationship triggersand how they set off your jealous emotions.Negative relationship triggers are definite causes, which happen when a relationship fails due tomistrust issues caused by infidelities or pornography addictions by a present or past partner, andare left unresolved, which unfortunately will follow them into every relationship, if she does notstop and take hold of her issues.Jealousy is not just a word that can be ignored or excused. It is a word to be feared because it isfear that creates this negative feeling. Have you ever noticed how jealousy changes yourrelationship from happy to devastate in just seconds? It will feel like something that you would notwish on your worst enemy.The negative emotions that are hidden behind this word jealousy will tear your trust apart letter byletter, and rearrange it until it spells deception, betrayal, even hate. Theses words will turn you intoa paranoid living creature, hiding from reality. Reality is truly jealousys enemy. It avoids its enemyas quickly as it replaces the positive thoughts that you once had in its place. It is strong enough totake control of your mind and direct it into thinking that someone you dearly trust and love hasturned into another being, a being that is cheating on you, lusting for another, watchingpornography behind your back, lying to you when you ask a direct question, twisting everythingyou say so that you come out looking like you are delirious and they will laugh at you when you cryout for help. It will tear your guts apart until you feel like you are going to vomit and it will makeyour head swirl with uncertainty. Jealousy can speed up your breathing quicker than a exercisemachine, which in turn will send your heart racing into turmoil. It is a total body trauma. It canmake your body break out into a sweat so fast that it will make rain look slow. If you have ever hadeven one minute of these threatening feelings, you know exactly what I am trying to explain here.This negative emotion will make your mind fear abandonment, ones biggest fear in a relationshipare to be replaced or abandoned. This fear alone is a very strong trigger of jealousy. This fear willimprison you and force you to suffocate or guard whats yours, until that person can no longer be avictim to your jealousy. It will drive you to feel a deep need to control anothers thoughts andactions. To allow jealousy in your mind to the point of this kind of control, is to fall victim to an,"attachment prison" or an addiction. In this attachment prison you are the weaker element of thepartnership or relationship, your need to feel attached will ruin your sense of security and yourself-esteem. A very good example of an attachment prison is when you fear with all of your sensesto let your partner out of your site, not even to go to the corner store or to work for fear he may seesomeone that you would deem as a total threat.Jealousy is like a drug. Once it gets into your veins, you are no longer coherent or independent inyour thinking. You have now just become a dependent thinker, dependent on jealousy and itspower. To have such a need is also equivalent to an addict needing a drug. Your addiction is your
  3. 3. jealousy, your high is the adrenalin that your body creates through its fears, only this is not positiveadrenalin; it is a pure negative adrenalin rush. The only antidote to combat this addiction isthrough positive steps that will strengthen your ability to take back your control and find a freedomfrom that attachment prison.Jealousy will not rest until through you, it has created a frustrating and unbearable environmentthat puts you in the position in your relationship as your own worst enemy. In effect you becomethe attacker that you have been trying to run from. You are now jealousy! You are the cause of thisturmoil that is being thrown to your outside world; an outside world that cannot possibly feel yourpain; nor can they help you escape it. But they will look down on you in their confusion. You are allalone in this prison. You are the only one that can feel this pain, the only one that feels this needto control and hide from the world. You will find yourself being driven by negative thoughts everyturn you make.Have you ever been on a negative thought rollercoaster? If you ever have, you will understandwhat I mean when I say negative thoughts; negative thoughts that will not let you think rationally. Ifanything, they will work very hard at confusing your positive thinking. You will spend countlesshours talking to yourself trying to get out of insecure feelings and you will end up right back feelingthe same negative control that jealousy has over you.Jealousy will rob you of sleep hour after hour. When your mind cannot sleep, it becomes weak andthat is exactly what strengthens the negative thoughts that will feed jealousy and keep it controllingyou. These thoughts will turn over in your head until they are locked into a place of negative nonrealities. This is when you begin to believe in things which seem surreal. An example of this nonreality is, lets say, youre walking past your partner as he is watching television. A commercial ison. There is a young scantily dressed woman on the commercial. Your immediate reaction is fear.You fear that at that very minute he is lusting her or worse, wishing you were her. As I said non-real negative thoughts = jealousy.This negative emotion is extremely careful to not allow your self-esteem to strengthen. It will turnyour thoughts into a comparison mode instantly when it feels threatened. When it can put yourmind into doubt of its worth, it has total control. It will continue to control and force thoughts ofbeing undeserving, not worthy, unintelligent, boring, self-less, non-appealing, even just plain ugly.It is a true negative powerful and destructive emotion that will not only control your thoughts butwill also alter your desire to love. It will make you hide in safe, loveless corners and never allowanother person into your heart. To allow a person into your heart would mean that you would beputting yourself at risk of falling victim to jealousy and all the horror that it creates and feeds on.So, you at this stage begin to set up protective walls, separating you from ever being hurt, but alsoputting a wedge in between you and your partner. Your choice, if you choose to stay in negativethinking, is to live a life alone.When you have allowed it to weaken your thoughts to the point of delusional thinking, your mindwill only see what will feed this negative emotion. All of your rational characteristics will be takenover by irrational thoughts and reactions. Everything that you thought you could control is nowuncontrollable. Nothing is what it seems, while this jealousy emotion has you imprisoned behind itsbars of negative and low self-worth thoughts.I truly believe that being controlled by jealousy is similar to being in captivity. Your mind will get so
  4. 4. conformed to that space that youre allowing, that you will learn to depend on it. You will feel safeonly in that space. All of your knowledge of whats outside of that captive space has been hiddenaway into a very dark deep place in your mind. It is all you feel that you can control, not evenrealizing how little control you do have; again equivalent to an addiction.What captivity and jealousy have in common is that once you allow your mind to be controlled orcaptivated by the overpowering emotion: jealousy, your mind will react as it would in a captivesituation. Both jealousy and captivity hold your mind and reshape it to conform to its negativedemands. A person in captivity eventually starts to depend on the person thats holding themcaptive. You start to depend on the feelings that youre getting from being captive by your jealousemotion. Jealousy becomes you, and you become jealousy. Together the duo team that you haveallowed to control your thoughts will now destroy anything that is real. You will now live together inan unreal negative world of deception.You will live and breathe the feelings of fear, worry and deception. You will not rest one singleminute. Your mind will constantly be filled with disorder and accusations and," what ifs". At thispoint your ability to trust and feel secure with your partner will no longer be available to your mind,to your negative mind that is; the negative mind that you have allowed to take place of your oncepositive mind. Your innate desire to protect you and your reason for being are now at risk in yourmind. You need to control everything and everything about your partner, right down to his everymove. You need to take ownership in order to feel safe. With this control, then and only then canyou feel safe from jealousy? Again the," attachment prison" takes over. This prison created byjealousy to keep you in its power and control. Youre first breathing thoughts are livelihood andyour future are based on attachment and acceptance. To lose that would be like dying a very slowdeath. Under the control of jealousy and its attachment prison you will fight to survive at any cost.You will be on guard even in your sleep, to notice even the simplest sign of abandonment or loss.Hence, the sleepless nights, haunted by the enemy: jealousy, captivated by the attachment prisonagain.This is what you already know of jealousy. It is not fun. It is not a happy place. It is however verydestructive and it will destroy your life if you continue to allow it to control your thoughts. As Imentioned earlier in this article, your mind has two sides, one being negative and one beingpositive. You have the ability to choose.I have brought this part of the jealousy series to you because of how important it is to identify withthe truth of jealousy. It is as real as you are sitting there listening to this. There is a way out and away to free your mind of this prison of negative thoughts. Through my next article on "The Truth ofJealousy", you will learn steps and strategies that will help to strengthen your mind so that youmay win the battle of negative thinking.dorothyl@womensselfesteem.comArticle Source:
  5. 5. ====This article provides you with helpful insights on emotional ====