Transcription letterman


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Transcription letterman

  1. 1. Page 2Our first guest on the program tonight is the creator of Joining Forces,it’s anational initiative to support and honor Americas service members and theirfamilies. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the First Lady of the UnitedStates, Michelle Obama.______________________________________________________________Welcome to the show.______________________________________________________________Thank you.______________________________________________________________You look fantastic.______________________________________________________________There’s a picture of a guy in there. You just never know what you might findsneaking around in your coffee cup.______________________________________________________________Welcome to the program. Thank you very much.______________________________________________________________It’s good to be here.______________________________________________________________It’s good to have you here and I’m so thrilled and touched because of thatmoment I described when we met at the Regis show and and I just thought“that would be fun”. I’d be great to have her on the show and by God, hereyou are.
  2. 2. I’m here.______________________________________________________________Thank you so much.______________________________________________________________How are things at the White House, ok?______________________________________________________________Things are good, things are good. Trying to stay out of trouble.______________________________________________________________There’s trouble everywhere in politics.______________________________________________________________Everywhere______________________________________________________________You have to be careful what you say, what you do, who you look at.______________________________________________________________Now, now, you don’t have to answer this question. But this is the thing that Iwas thinking about. I have conversations with my wife; Paul hasconversations with his wife.______________________________________________________________Yeah______________________________________________________________Married men and women have conversations all the time.
  3. 3. We tend to talk.______________________________________________________________We tend to talk, that are for no one else in the world but one another.______________________________________________________________That’s right.______________________________________________________________But…______________________________________________________________Hypothetically speaking… at the end of the day, has your husband ever comehome and said to you: “Oh that John Boehner, what an idiot.”______________________________________________________________It has never happened, never, never. He is always upbeat, particularly aboutCongress.______________________________________________________________“Yeah. … How can you not be upbeat?”______________________________________________________________Now… you can’t, you can’t go anywhere. Can you go anywhere?______________________________________________________________I can’t go ANYWHERE!______________________________________________________________No, I CAN.
  4. 4. But if you, if you, really…______________________________________________________________I have my little jonts out.______________________________________________________________You actually do.______________________________________________________________So if you said “I´m going to the 7-Eleven to get ah, ah, a slurpee orsomething, could you do that?______________________________________________________________I technically could. It would drive a lot of people crazy. I’ve threatened to doit. I do it all the time. I said “I´m walking out that door, I’m walking out, I’mleaving.______________________________________________________________Your see people talking in their wrists, “Is she kidding?”______________________________________________________________I’m gonna do it one day.______________________________________________________________Can you go shopping?______________________________________________________________I have been, I…, I… , I sneak out, and we can do covert moves. I’ve been toTarget, Petco, with Bo, and uh…
  5. 5. How is Bo, by the way?______________________________________________________________Bo is wonderful. He is the smartest dog on the planet.______________________________________________________________Right______________________________________________________________He is my son. I have two girls and a boy.______________________________________________________________Now, is it Portuguese water dog, is it?______________________________________________________________A Portuguese water dog______________________________________________________________I’ve only known one of these Portuguese water dogs in my life. And they’re alittle loopy.______________________________________________________________No they’re nooot.______________________________________________________________Is, is he, can he be a handful, a bit?______________________________________________________________No, he’s a very sweet dog. Now I’m not being biased, he’s really a good dog.He’s very well mannered, he’s very even tempered. He has a very busyschedule, I mean… appearances… I’m thinking about getting him an agent.
  6. 6. And, again, none of my business but I have a dog myself and you can gottaget kind of in a, let me just say, digestive rhythm of the dog, and when it’stime for Bo to…______________________________________________________________Do his business…______________________________________________________________Yeah______________________________________________________________How does that happen?______________________________________________________________He goes out. Usually the girls take him out. There are a number of peoplewho are willing to take him out.______________________________________________________________He usually will tell you, though.______________________________________________________________I know…, Iknow…, I’m not…, I mean... He doesn’t talk.______________________________________________________________Right______________________________________________________________But, he will come up and he’ll put his paw on your leg and kinda nudges you,and then you’re like…”whatta” you want? And he gets excited, and you say,“youwanna go out”. And the he starts barking.
  7. 7. Is this what you…______________________________________________________________He’s very smart.______________________________________________________________Is this what Biden does?_____________________________________________________________No he does not.______________________________________________________________
  8. 8. That’s my Target run. I went to Target," she said. "I thought I was undercover.I have to tell you something about this trip though. No one knew that was mebecause a woman actually walked up to me, right? I was in the detergentaisle, and she said — I kid you not — she said, ‘Excuse me, I just have to askyou something,’ and I thought, ‘Oh, cover’s blown.’ She said, ‘Can you reachon that shelf and hand me the detergent?’ I kid you not.”As the audience laughed, she went on, “And the only thing she said — Ireached up, ’cause she was short, and I reached up, pulled it down — shesaid, ‘Well, you didn’t have to make it look so easy.’ That was myinteraction. I felt so good. ... She had no idea who I was. I thought, as soon asshe walked up — I was with my assistant, and I said, ‘This is it, it’s over. We’regoing to have to leave.’ She just needed the detergent.”