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Interpersonal effectiveness r

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Jim Ellermeyer and the students do some role playing. Does this sound familiar? We look at how do we deal with our internal thoughts and day to day using DEER MAN skills.



Homework: Go to a good friend or partner. Ask what attracts them to you. Write those down to become your mantra every morning to get some positivity in your life!





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The following is for educational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for medical or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The content should not be used for self-diagnosis, or treatment of any health-related condition. As always, seek the advice of your health care provider with any questions regarding a medical or mental health condition. Opinions expressed are the personal opinions and do not represent S’eclairer Behavioral Therapy.

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Interpersonal effectiveness r

  1. 1. DBT Skills Group: INTERPERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS
  2. 2. Why Can’t We All Just Get Along?
  3. 3. Relationships… …are precious …are vulnerable …provide love, companionship, and support …require skills to remain healthy
  4. 4. Three Objectives of Interpersonal Effectiveness: 1- Be skillful in achieving objectives with others by… …asking for help. …saying no to unwanted requests.
  5. 5. 2- Build healthy relationships and end destructive ones by…. …heading off problems …not letting hurts and problems build up …repairing relationships or ending them effectively
  6. 6. 3- Walk the Middle Path by… …balancing own priorities with demands of others. …balancing acceptance and change in relationships
  7. 7. Factors Reducing Interpersonal Effectiveness:  Lack of needed skills  Indecision  Interference from Emotions  Prioritizing Short Term Goals over Long Term Goals  Interference from Environment  Interpersonal Myths
  8. 8. Goals in Interpersonal Situations: 1- Clarify Your Priorities – Ask yourself, “What do I want and how important is getting it?”
  9. 9. Goals in Interpersonal Situations: 2 – Objectives Effectiveness – Ask yourself, “What specific result or change do I want from this interaction?
  10. 10. Skill: DEARMAN Describe the situation. Express feelings and opinions. Assert what you want. Reinforce with rewards and consequences. Be Mindful. “Broken record”; Ignore attacks. Appear confident. Negotiate.
  11. 11. Goals in Interpersonal Situations: 3 – Relationship Effectiveness – Ask yourself, “How do I want the other person to feel about me after the interaction, whether or not I get what I want?”
  12. 12. Skill: GIVE Be Gentle. Act Interested. Validate. Maintain an Easy Manner.
  13. 13. Goals in Interpersonal Situations: 4 – Self Respect Effectiveness – Ask yourself, “How do I want to feel about myself after the interaction, whether or not I get what I want?”
  14. 14. Skill: FAST Be Fair. (No) Apologies. Stick to your values. Be Truthful.
  15. 15. Goals in Interpersonal Situations: 5- Evaluate your Options – Before asking for what you want, or saying no to what another wants, ask yourself, “How intensely do I want to hold my ground?”
  16. 16. And above all, be Mindful…

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