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Spring mag portfolio

  2. 2. QUIZ&quilLOTTERBEIN UNIVERSITY’S STUDENT LITERARY MAGAZINE | VOL. 93 | SPRING MAGAZINE 2012 table of contents 8 16 38 nonfiction The Zen of Fortune Cookies – Tony DeGenaro On the Southern Accent – Vian Yohn Heart of Atlas – Emily SwankMANAGING EDITOR Tony DeGenaro 52 Uncovering My Dad’s Secret Past – Mike Cirelli 72 Wordless – Tony DeGenaroPAGE DESIGNER Mike CirelliCOPY EDITOR Whitney Reedadvertising COORDINATOR Jeff Kintner fiction 12 That Burning Ring of Fire – Emily Swankfaculty advisor Dr. Shannon Lakanen 22 Miss Austen – Jennifer Rish 29 Soft Cell – Andrew Miller 46 For Anita – Brittany Ivy DorowStaff 61 Color – Jennifer RishMackenzie BoyerEmily ClarkKayla Forshey poetryMeg Freado 7 Don’t Go Out! – Jordy Lawrence StewartAlyssa Mazey 9 Dead Write – Alyssa MazeyBrittany Peltier 10 Highway Prayer – Tony DeGenaroKathleen Agnes Quigley 28 Choke – Meg Freado 34 Chewing Water – Boris HindererJordy Lawrence Stewart 39 About a Color. – Brittany Ivy Dorow 42 The Full Moon’s Suicide – Meg FreadoJOIN OUR STAFF 43 This Writer – Lindsey RowlandQ&Q is always looking for students to join our staff. All 44 Oranges – Tony DeGenaroyears and majors are welcome. We meet every Thursday 58 A Blue Jean Wax Poetic – Jordy Lawrence Stewartfrom 5-6:30. Email quizandquill@otterbein.edu for more 76 The Lighthouse, the Tree – Tony DeGenaroinformation. 88 As the Clock Claps Its Hands – Vian YohnSUBMISSION POLICY DRAMAQ&Q prides itself on publishing the highest quality 13 Monsters – Whitney Reedcreative work. Therefore, every precaution is taken to assure 78 The Kite – Brittany Ivy Dorowa writer’s anonymity during the selection process. Only theadvisor of Q&Q knows the identities of those who submitwork to the magazine until after staff members’ selections art 6 Spring Wonderland – Marisa Renceare finalized. 11 Yin and Yang – Brittany Ivy Dorow 21 Bobcat – Katie ZaborszkiCONTACT US 33 Entrance to a Dream – Brittany Ivy DorowSend all inquiries to quizandquill@otterbein.edu. 40 Four in Charleston – Marisa Rence 51 Heart – Katie Zaborszki 60 City View – Marisa Rence 66 Drawing with Skull – Hannah Farley 74 Common Ground – Brittany Ivy Dorow4 | QUIZ&quilL 90 Author and Artist Bios SPRING MAG 2012 | 5
  3. 3. Don’t Go Out! JORDY LAWRENCE STEWART The deepest isolation is to suffer separation from the source of all light and life and warmth.                       –Dante’s “The Inferno” i took a candle through the snow dragging trenches with my feet craters no one had driven before and whispers of unhappy years came to mind with no one to listen   what would i say …   i could see the black birds waiting for me to die of something cold waiting for a reply and my decay and my laughs made them wait miles flying reapers of the hollow timbers   what would i say …   in a cave i made fire of icicles left my candle there to rest calmly away from the mountain shadows of the black birds of the white night naked in the darkness with myself   what would i say …   morning did not come for years but there was no moon – no stars would-be-light reflection in the snow my candle long gone but with company still burning with me somewhere in the trenches. SPRING WONDERLAND MARISA RENCE6 | QUIZ&quilL SPRING MAG 2012 | 7
  4. 4. THE ZEN OF FORTUNE COOKIES DEAD WRITE TONY DEGENARO ALYSSA MAZEY B eatnik poet Jack Kerouac so insignificant to the rest of the beautiful things crammed onto pale walls once said on the fringe of universe, your personal little pearl his adventures on the road, is the macrocosm that may define pale silence hangs between. “Somewhere along the line I who you are as a person. That is knew there’d be girls, visions, ev- the best way to describe a pearl: the between our words, i’ve found my religion. erything; somewhere along the line thing that defines who we are. I knew the pearl would be handed I mentioned earlier that I found have faith in the fifteen mile per hour curves, to me.” Kerouac was very zen about mine inside a fortune cookie. On his adventures, which is why they my fifteenth birthday, as I crossed those curves that are ruin. were so precious to him. Everyone the bridge from awkward innocence is zen about something; I am Zen into definite manhood, I found worship the starved late nights, about Fortune Cookies. Bizarre as myself dining with my grandparents it may sound, I am religious about at the grungiest Chinese buffet you the hungry hours where they sleep. how to handle the fortune cookie, could imagine. It was here that my for example: I will always force my pearl was uncovered, and my future sleep well, for you’ll need tomorrow. dining companions to choose their was laid before me. After a fulfill- cookies first, leaving me the cookie ing meal of wontons, dumplings, tomorrow, you might fix your beautiful hair. that I was destined for. The purpose lo mein and stir fry, the waitress of this practice: receiving the cor- brought the bill and customary for- trim your beautiful words, rect fortune. Like Kerouac, I believe tune cookies. I eyeballed the three that we all have our own pearl; as my grandmother and grandfather remain while his was waiting on the high- grabbed theirs. Mine sat alone, ways of America, mine was located slowly and surely I reached and to me in a vanilla coated cookie. grabbed the golden cookie. Before Have you given up deciphering unwrapping it, I smashed it into the torn gash my fascination for Eastern reli- little bits, revealing the small white gions, Beatnik poets, cookies, and scroll. I opened the plastic baggie of your mouth aquatic gems yet? A pearl is defined and dumped out the remains. In my by dictionary.com as “a smooth, hand was my pearl, a fortune that that haunts rounded bead formed within the read: “You are a lover of words, shells of certain mollusks: valued as someday you will write a book.” my eyes. a gem when finely colored.” To us, We all have our pearls, and they must be more. To you a pearl when we find them, we can find so many inches of polished condescension – could be some long term goal, some ourselves. The funny thing is I don’t desire, something you crave to have even like fortune cookies; it’s all the back of your neck rips a canyon in me. and will stop at nothing to get. As about the pearl inside. difficult as it may be to dive into Q&q the sea and wrestle certain mollusks for their treasure, so must finding our own pearls. The most important thing in the world, which may seem8 | QUIZ&quilL SPRING MAG 2012 | 9
  5. 5. HIGHWAY PRAYER TONY DEGENARO These roads know your name, hugging the wet pavement like suns slipping into the satin blankets of a night’s sky, this is ubiquitous: gravel, sunset. Your name could mean anything, written in Hebrew or English, there are gods on the highways, Yahweh, God, Allah, He is on the dashboard, darting between pickups with Confederate flags, around minivans and convertibles, He is the black bird in your heart, do you let Him sing? Highways always know our names on the outerbelt of every city, asphyxiated by monotony I tell you each ounce of earth crafted to make these highways breathes with life. Keep your eyes open brothers, hands on the wheels sisters, the sun hardly sets on our lives keep going around and ’round and ’round ’n’ ’round, sing it like a prayer, because all of these roads lead home. YIN AND YANG BRITTANY IVY DOROW10 | QUIZ&quilL SPRING MAG 2012 | 11
  6. 6. on the southern accent from what I can tell (and I’m no linguist, mind you), older Hunts- college out-of-state – they have yet to escape. But the South was, to VIAN YOHN ville natives speak in the Southern them, all business and no pleasure. Appalachian dialect, while newer They couldn’t afford to live in Cali- Huntsvillians speak something fornia, for one thing, and Dad had I did not grow up in Appalachia, ever picked it up, he’d “kick me out closer to the Highland Southern dia- just been offered a job at the Valley unless the foothills count. I didn’t until I learned to talk like an intel- lect. Add to that this phenomenon Hill Country Club for another. They even grow up in the country, on ligent woman again.” Or something of Old versus New Southern Ameri- had had no desire to move anywhere a farm, or in a trailer. I grew up like that. He meant it in jest, of can English, and you’ll find that east of the Mississippi River and in and around one of the largest course, but I believed him – or, at a Huntsville teenager thrown into south of the Mason-Dixie line, but and most diverse cities in Alabama, least, the part about how intelligent the mountains – the real mountains there they were. And there they a city that may be the best example people don’t “sound like hillbillies.” further north, not the foothills that stayed. of the idyllic American Melting Pot Or how hillbillies aren’t intelligent? barely reach into the city – would Technically, then, I didn’t grow that I have ever seen. But when I Either way, I hung on to “y’all,” probably have a hell of a time up in a “Southern” home. Southern hear a Southern accent, no matter but that’s about as Southern as my understanding what an Appalachian homes take generations to build; how poorly rendered (and trust me, accent got. “Ain’t” in particular man was saying. Each of their ac- you aren’t a real Southerner unless the Southern accent is more difficult was anathema, though if I’d said cents would be distinctively South- you’re born there, and your worth to fake than you would think), my “cut” instead of “turn off” the lights ern, but they would also be distinct as a Southerner is evaluated par- immediate reaction is to then think or that I was “fixing to” instead from each other. tially (maybe even largely) by how of home. After all, my best friend of “going to” do something, my Anyway. The history of the many generations of your family from home and parents prob- Southern accent doesn’t really lived in the South before you. My her family have ably wouldn’t explain why I didn’t pick it up, and family, two people who travelled it; most of my have caught teachers had it; But when I hear a Southern it. After a few let’s face it – kids don’t always do so much they didn’t know where what their parents tell them to do home was anymore with two kids my stepfather accent, no matter how years, it all (or not to do, which is sometimes who were too young to attribute and his fam- starts to sound ily have it. But poorly rendered, my pretty natural even better; that’s where all the fun their identities to their surround- ideas come from). And even though ings, was implanted there. But the even though I immediate reaction is to – especially to I usually followed my parents’ or- reason Southern homes develop is was surrounded my mother, for by it, I don’t then think of home. whom English ders as though they’d been deliv- because the South is a sort of black ered to me from an angel on high, hole, a vacuum that sucks people in have it – at was her second that still wasn’t justification enough and refuses to let them go. It warps least, not one that anyone can hear. language. Although, considering for me to reject the accent that was them into Southerners whether they I don’t remember how old I was how each accent in America can all around me – was it? like it or not, and then their kids – somewhere in the nine to twelve sound like its own language, she become even more Southern than ballpark, when I was just start- could be on her way to multilin- they, and then their kids … ing to get really metaconscious or gualism. My mother was born in South My father owns a restaurant on whatever – or how the topic of The Speaking of which: I think it Korea, just outside of Seoul. My the south side of Huntsville, a fine Accent even came up when my dad catches people by surprise to realize father was born in Pennsylvania dining joint. I worked there for a made his opinion on it known, but that there isn’t just one Southern (or maybe New York) and raised in few years through high school and I think it had something to do with accent. People in old plantation Columbus, Ohio. They met in Ver- into college, and although my fa- my having just said “y’all.” He’d country sound different than people mont, lived in Minnesota, had their ther and I aren’t “Southern,” a good laughed and said something about in Appalachia, who sound differ- two kids in California, and even- deal of the staff was (and continues talking like a redneck, and, indig- ent than people in the bayou, who tually settled down in Alabama, to be, of course). That restaurant is nant, I’d told him that my accent sound different than people on the which – despite their divorce, their my father’s ball-and-chain, the locus could be worse. He’d then said I ranch. Even people in the same individual bouts with unemploy- of the black hole. I can’t count how didn’t have The Accent and that if I region can speak different dialects; ment, and their children going to many times he’s told me how badly16 | QUIZ&quilL SPRING MAG 2012 | 17
  7. 7. he wants to sell the place and get would Robert Downey, Jr., have black and white and Korean and except northern Alabama. It didn’t out of there, and during one such made his great artistic comeback Indian and Middle Eastern people make sense that I was so proud of conversation, a fellow server – a and Kobe Bryant still be considered have coalesced into one community, not carrying any vestige of home born-and-bred Southerner – jumped a basketball great? Yes, the histori- though each one maintains its own with me, of not having anything in with the black hole observation. cal South pushed for institutions identity – each community a coral about me that said, “This is where Dad laughed at the time, but there’s that most people consider … well, in a reef. In short, I know a South I’m from, and I’m damn proud of something tragic about laughing at bad. But that was then, and this is unlike the South non-Southerners it.” a truth that verifies your sense of now, and I’ve never met a slave- seem to know. It wasn’t even until I left home entrapment. But that’s another tale owner or a Ku Klux Klan member that I realized that it was, in fact, altogether. (only the first incarnation of which, home. People talk differently in by the way, was almost exclusively I’ve spent quite a few years Ohio, I realized, and if I had to put Southern; as it resurfaced in the being proud of how I talk. One sum- my personal vernacular on a spec- Sometimes I still wonder what it early 1900s, it became a nationwide mer while I was home from college, trum between Ohio Midwestern and even means when we call someone’s phenomenon), so why is it so great years after the black hole discus- Alabama Southern, it would almost accent “Southern.” By extension, I that I don’t “sound Southern,” that sion, a man I was serving at the res- certainly waver more toward the also still wonder what people even I’m not easily recognizable as a taurant asked me where I was from. latter. I mean, come on – doesn’t mean when they talk about “the Southerner? I told him I was raised in Huntsville “the car needs washed” sound South.” There are a few states on In a way, it’s almost not for me (he wasn’t expecting to hear that, weird to anybody else around here? which almost everyone can agree – to say. The South I know is differ- I could tell in the way he sat back Since when did “crayon” have only Mississippi, Tennessee, Georgia, the ent from the South a Louisianian in his chair, raised his eyebrows, one syllable? How can anyone not Carolinas, Louisiana, Arkansas and, knows is different from the South a and set down his fork), and then he know what “humdinger” means? I of course, Alabama – and are there- Texan knows. Even a person from asked if my parents are from the couldn’t believe that I was speak- fore known as “the Deep South.” Birmingham, Mobile, or Bug Tussle area. No, they aren’t, and I told him ing a new language when I left the Then there are states that other (it exists; look it up) knows a differ- South and entered the Midwest, but people might debate – Texas, Okla- ent South than I do. I know a South I couldn’t deny that I was strug- homa, Missouri, Virginia, Kentucky that does not look back to the past gling more to understand some – but are usually included, more for but towards a future in aerospace – IT WASN’T EVEN UNTIL I LEFT things people in Ohio say than I’ve the similarity in their dialects than a future in the stars. I know a South ever had to struggle anywhere back a unifying culture. And then there’s where I call you “ma’am” or “sir” HOME THAT I REALIZED THAT IT home. Of course, there’s more to Florida, the southernmost contigu- not because I’m sexist or trying to WAS, IN FACT, HOME. home than the way people talk – ous state, that almost no one con- make you “feel old” (I even address there’s the way springtime smells siders “Southern” – and they usually children as “sir” or “ma’am,” so like wild onions, the way lightning mean this in a “good for Florida” don’t give me that) but because I so, to which he replied, “Oh, that’s bugs (or fireflies, if you’re a Yan- kind of way. What’s so great about respect you. I know a South where why you sound so Midwestern. You kee) light up stretches of woods not being Southern? everyone says Hi to everyone, have a very neutral accent; I guess like Christmas in the summer, the I won’t insult you by assuming waves to everyone, asks everyone you never got the chance to pick way grass stays greener longer you’ve never heard of the Ameri- how their day is going – and then one up from around here.” And and comes back to life sooner, the can Civil War. Of course you have, stops to listen because they genu- I agreed, and we laughed, and I way cicadas can replace humming if you live in the US. So assuming inely want to know. I know a South felt good…ish. After hearing, over refrigerators and midnight planes you received a more-or-less unbi- where family comes first, before and over again, “You don’t sound as white noise and no one thinks a ased education of said war, let me even an individual’s own work and/ Southern” every time the subject thing about it. But I can’t carry any ask you this: if we based all of our or education, but where parents has come up at in college, I was of that with me like I can my own value judgments on past transgres- will do anything they can to guide suddenly aware of how detached I voice. sions and only on past transgres- their children toward the job and/ was from my home. I’d never lived Someday, I hope I think of sions, how many of us would still or education they wish they could in the Midwest until I came to Ot- something witty and charming to have friends? A job? A family? How have had. I know a South where terbein; I had never lived anywhere say when someone says, “You don’t18 | QUIZ&quilL SPRING MAG 2012 | 19
  8. 8. sound Southern,” in that surprised way in which a “good for you” sen- timent is implied (or, in one case, explicit, and I think she was just as flustered as I was when she real- ized what else she had said without saying it). It took me long enough to recognize that there’s no shame in “y’all,” in dropping g’s and add- ing vowels, in emphasizing the first rather than the second syllable in “Thanksgiving” and “ibuprofen” (although, strangely, I don’t keep to this pattern in the more common words such as “cement,” “um- brella,” or “insurance”). And one of the last things my junior English teacher said to me before I gradu- ated high school was along the lines of, “I’m proud of you for leaving, not because you need to escape the South, but because you need to show the rest of the world that the South isn’t what they think it is. You can break the stereotype; you have a potential about you, unrelat- ed to being or not being Southern, for going far.” I hope so. Q&q BOBCAT KATIE ZABORSZKI20 | QUIZ&quilL SPRING MAG 2012 | 21
  9. 9. AUTHOR BRITTANY IVY DOROW’S ideal life would be living on a quiet beach, creating art, writing, and making music. For now, she’s finishing up her last couple months of undergrad at Otterbein University as an art major (with concentrations in photography and digital media) and English minor. Next stop: the real world. and ARTISTBIOS YIN AND YANG, 11 ENTRANCE TO A DREAM, 33 ABOUT A COLOR., 39 FOR ANITA, 46 The 2012 spring mag COMMON GROUND, 74 includes work by the THE KITE, 78 following Otterbein students. Listed in alphabetical order. HANNAH FARLEY is a first-year art major with concentrations in com- munication design and drawing. She’s from Johnstown, Ohio, and she com- pleted the skull drawing in her Drawing 1 class this spring. DRAWING WITH SKULL, 66 MIKE CIRELLI is a junior journalism major and art minor at Otterbein MEG FREADO is graduating in fall as an honors psychology major. She University. He is the editor-in-chief of the Tan & Cardinal student newspa- per and the page designer for Quiz & Quill. He wants to design newspapers spends her summers writing, traveling, and exploring rooftops. Her schol- and magazines for a living and dreams of one day being a designer for a arly and creative work has been published in the journal Reclaiming Chil- music publication. dren and Youth. UNCOVERING MY DAD’S SECRET PAST, 52 CHOKE, 28 THE FULL MOON’S SUICIDE, 42 TONY DEGENARO is a senior creative writing major from Youngstown, Ohio. In the fall, Tony begins an MFA program in creative writing at the BORIS HINDERER is a senior majoring in creative writing and psychol- University of San Francisco. He is a poet. ogy. He is a member of the psychology honorary society Psi Chi and is involved in Aegis as well as the Otterbein outdoor adventure club. Artisti- THE ZEN OF FORTUNE COOKIES, 8 cally, he works primarily in (unapproachable) poetry and after leaving HIGHWAY PRAYER, 10 Otterbein, he would like to pursue graduate studies in psychology. ORANGES, 44 CHEWING WATER, 34 WORDLESS, 72 THE LIGHTHOUSE, THE TREE, 76 ALYSSA MAZEY just wants to sit in the grass with her dog, read books, make art, and drink Earl Grey. She also wants to teach and travel, and maybe, just maybe, be the change. DEAD WRITE, 990 | QUIZ&quilL SPRING MAG 2012 | 91
  10. 10. WRITING AND ARTWORK BY:(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER)mike cirellitony degenarobrittany IVY dorowhannah farleymeg freadoboris hindereralyssa mazeyandrew millerwhitney reedmarisa rencejennifer rishlindsey rowlandjordy lawrence stewartemily swankvian yohnkatie zaborszkiON THE COVERA Close RelationshiP by Marisa RenceA round of applause for Marisa Rence’s A Close Relationship, the first-place winner of our campus-wide cover contest. Rence said her inspirationfor the piece was her relationship with a very close friend. They were goingthrough a rough patch at the time, and painting was a way for Rence tocome to terms with it. She represented her own feelings and thoughts withyellow (her favorite color), his with red, and their relationship with the96 | in &quilLcolorsQUIZbetween. Rence has three other works in this magazine.
  11. 11. QUIZ&quill 2012 SPRING WRITING AWARDS YOU A WRITER? THEN WHY HAVEN’T YOU JOINED QUIZ&quilL YET? QUIZ&quill OTTERBEIN UNIVERS ITY’S STUDENT LITERAR Y MAGAZINE | VOL. QUIZ&quilL PRESENTS... 93 | SPRING MAGAZIN E 2012 6 6 RESUME OPPORTUNITIES. LITERARY DISCUSSION. VALUABLE EXPERIENCE. WHAT’S HOLDING YOU BACK? 6 PROGRAM Welcome THANKS TO THESE Q&q SUPPORTERS! 6 join now! see reversE FOR MORE INFO. 6 Spring Mag Cover Contest Winner PL AYS Single-Author Chapbook Winner Mrs. Roy A. Burkhart QUIZ&quilL Nonfiction Prize Winners for funding the Burkhart Poetry Prizes Roy A. Burkhart Religious Poetry Prize Mr. Donald L. Williams Playwriting Prize Winners for funding the Louise Gleim Williams OTTERBEIN UNIVERSITY’S STUDENT LITERARY MAGAZINE Poetry Prize Winners Writer’s Prize Q&Q is always looking for students to join our staff. Earn valuable experience editing Newspaper Writing Prize Winners a real literary magazine. All years and majors are welcome. We meet every Thursday Fiction Prize Winners THE ENGLISH DEPARTMENT from 5-6:30 to discuss literary and artistic works, plan events and publications and just have fun. Louise Gleim Williams Writer’s Prize for funding Q&Q’s events and magazines If you are interested in joining next year’s staff, send an email to quizandquill@ 2012-13 Editorial Board Announcement otterbein.edu or fill out and return this card to Dr. Shannon Lakanen’s office, Towers 228, and we will send more information your way. NOW AVAILABLE! SEE Q&q SWAG TABLE! NAME YEAR MAJOR/MINOR &quill EMAIL FAVORITE GENRE OF WRITING OR ARTQUIZOTTERBEI N UNIVER SITY’S ST UDENT LI TE RARY MAG AZINE | VOL. 93 | SPRING MAGAZINE 2012
  12. 12. & &QUIZ&quill 2012 Spring Writing Awards This certificate is presented to Jessica Bryant in recognition of excellence in creative writing. first place, poetry PRIZE