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Part two coaching_j_flaherty_09102105

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“This is heavy reading, but well worth it. Remember your college philosophy classes and associated textbooks? Well, Flaherty takes the beauty and probing questions of philosophy and creates practical use of them by applying them to the art of coaching. Flaherty relies heavily on a few of his favorite modern philosophers, and takes their discoveries and theories and converts them into assessment models, enrollment techniques, etc. What you end up with is a very lucid, free flowing book that allows the coach to see the client as a human being with varying motivations, competencies, agendas, etc., and frees us from the trap of attempting to coach our clients into becoming ourselves (someone with our values, motivations, etc.); instead allowing them to grow into their own self-correcting, self-generating person.” Amazon Customer "Child of the World.” She says it in a nutshell. Those philosophers include Fernando Flores, Humberto Maturana, and William Barrett, whom you might not have heard of; and several you probably have. But Flaherty simplifies into practicality and usability. If you coach, or want to be one, his work is stunningly necessary.

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Part two coaching_j_flaherty_09102105

  1. 1. James Flaherty (Oxford, UK: Butterworth-Heinemann (third edition) 2010)
  2. 2.  Each speech act has a different function. Each one warrants years of study, but we will briefly cover them here. – “Will you…” – “I will..” – “What if I do this, and…” – “I believe that…” – “I think he is…” – “The world is flat.” 5/12/2015jgillis767@aol.com Coaching - James Flaherty - B/H - 3rd ed. - 2010 2
  3. 3. 5/12/2015jgillis767@aol.com Coaching - James Flaherty - B/H - 3rd ed. - 2010 3 Speaker, Listener, Future action, Conditions, Time, Sincerity
  4. 4. 5/12/2015jgillis767@aol.com Coaching - James Flaherty - B/H - 3rd ed. - 2010 4 To address the mutual concerns shared with requestors; to address the concerns we share with other people. To take all the necessary action, even if initially unknown, to fulfill the specified conditions. Speaker, Listener, Future action, Conditions, Time, Sincerity “I promise that I will keep the spending on the project within the allotted budget.” “I will meet you at noon in the conference room to continue our conversation.”
  5. 5. 5/12/2015jgillis767@aol.com Coaching - James Flaherty - B/H - 3rd ed. - 2010 5 To build or strengthen a partnership of mutual benefit. To fulfill the promises made and to be satisfied with what is provided by others in compensation for the promise being fulfilled. Speaker, Listener, Future action, Conditions, Time, Sincerity “I offer to paint the outside of your house the color you picked by Sunday night for $1,500.” “I will find a new VP of Operations for you by May 1st for a fee of $25,000.”
  6. 6. 5/12/2015jgillis767@aol.com Coaching - James Flaherty - B/H - 3rd ed. - 2010 6 To accurately describe a phenomenon. To provide any necessary factors or elements underlying the description, including the reasoning behind them. Words in a shared vocabulary that point to conditions surrounding the particular object, person, event, or circumstance. “The rock you brought in weighs 27 kilos and is made of 305 silicon, 60% iron, and 10% lead.” “The stock price closed in Tokyo today at $32.00.”
  7. 7. 5/12/2015jgillis767@aol.com Coaching - James Flaherty - B/H - 3rd ed. - 2010 7 To provide an opinion or judgment on a given topic. If asked to provide grounding, to reveal what was considered in coming to this opinion or judgment. Using widely accepted practices and languages in a given domain. “After examining the statue, it is my opinion that it is a genuine Rodin.” “I’ve looked through the financials, and in my opinion it is worth purchasing the stock.”
  8. 8. 5/12/2015jgillis767@aol.com Coaching - James Flaherty - B/H - 3rd ed. - 2010 8 To open up, close, or alter a possibility. To take action consistent with what was said. An authorized speaker; the specifics about what possibility is being opened, closed, or altered; and in what way. “I declare myself a candidate in the upcoming presidential election.” “I’ve decided to dedicate my life to being a physician.”
  9. 9.  In the world of commerce, friendship, and coaching, it is necessary to intentionally bring forward a working relationship.  Relationships cannot be forced. People must freely enter the mutuality of relationship.  Shared commitment is the basis for genuine partnership. We readily move through ambiguity and friction in order to fulfill commitment. As coaches, we are committed to the commitments of our clients.  An entire coaching program can be built around building the competencies for skillfully conducting a conversation for relationship.  Stay present, listen, participate, don’t judge, express curiosity. 5/12/2015jgillis767@aol.com Coaching - James Flaherty - B/H - 3rd ed. - 2010 9
  10. 10.  Assumes a background of relationship.  Starts with: “What’s possible here?” “How could we address this.”  Possibilities unfold when people suspend criticism and refrain from any version of “yes, but…”  Following someone’s idea out a few steps beyond what is already on the table often leads to something new, as does going back into assumptions and perceptions.  Brainstorming is a form of conversation for possibilities. “What if…?”  Successful conversations end with a follow-up plan or an action plan. 5/12/2015jgillis767@aol.com Coaching - James Flaherty - B/H - 3rd ed. - 2010 10
  11. 11.  Don’t skip Conversations for Relationship or Possibilities.  Many, many, many Conversations for Action fall apart because people attempt to conduct them based upon “roles” or “power.” Parents, teachers, bosses often fall into this mistake.  People included in the process are more committed to action.  Not much chance of success without shared commitment and interest.  Preparation Offer Negotiations Modifications Promise Performance Satisfaction (or not)  Ideas can be easy. Execution is not. 5/12/2015jgillis767@aol.com Coaching - James Flaherty - B/H - 3rd ed. - 2010 11
  12. 12. and . You are What You Say (New York, NY: Crown Publishers, 2000). . Coaching to the Human Soul (Volume 1) (Blackburn, Victoria, Australia: Newfield Australia, 2003). . Making Contact (Cambridge, UK: Cambridge University Press, 1986). . Intervention (Minneapolis, MN: Johnson Institute Books, 1986). . You Just Don’t Understand (New York, NY: Ballantine Books, 1990). 5/12/2015jgillis767@aol.com Coaching - James Flaherty - B/H - 3rd ed. - 2010 12
  13. 13.  In this stage, both the client and the coach make explicit what they committed to accomplishing in the coaching program.  The commitment of one member is not sufficient.  Outcomes, mutual commitment, and potential hindrances should be discussed forthrightly.  You have done a good job describing the outcomes of a program when they are attractive to both parties and it is not obvious that they would occur anyway.  Remember the human will is not directly tied to the human intellect. Emotion fits between the two. Make contact with the emotional level. 5/12/2015jgillis767@aol.com Coaching - James Flaherty - B/H - 3rd ed. - 2010 13
  14. 14.  Listen very intently both to what the client is saying and to what the client is keeping silent about.  The mood should be one of openness and realistic viewing of possibilities (both positive and negative).  Do not sugarcoat, but do not diminish what is possible.  As a coach, you will know this process is complete when both you and the client know exactly what the outcomes are and what the commitment of each is to the program, and when both have a general idea about what it will take to achieve the outcomes. 5/12/2015jgillis767@aol.com Coaching - James Flaherty - B/H - 3rd ed. - 2010 14
  15. 15.  The coach asks – What could interrupt this coaching program for you?  …How does coaching fit into the whole array of commitments you already have in your life?  …How will you respond when the program seems to be going too slowly, or gets boring, or repetitious, or even seems pointless?  The client asks – What are you willing to work through to have this program succeed? What are you willing to give up?  …What will discourage you?  …Are you willing, at times, to be more committed than I am?  …How many times can I fail before you abandon your commitment? 5/12/2015jgillis767@aol.com Coaching - James Flaherty - B/H - 3rd ed. - 2010 15
  16. 16.  What you say to your client is something that will allow her to make a new observation.  You will speak with her so that she can see something, or understand something, or appreciate something that she couldn’t before. 5/12/2015jgillis767@aol.com Coaching - James Flaherty - B/H - 3rd ed. - 2010 16
  17. 17.  Intervening in aimless complaining.  Responding to a request, how to do something.  Clarifying standards for performance, presentation.  Addressing the lack of phone etiquette in an otherwise cordial person.  Discontinuing the repetition of a simple mistake.  The client is not being open to input of others.  The client is not organized.  The client is overcommitting herself.  The client is acting timid and unassertive.  The client must be trained to install a complex piece of equipment.  Discovering one’s life purpose.  Beginning or ending a primary relationship.  Making long-term financial commitments.  Career change.  Raising children. 5/12/2015jgillis767@aol.com Coaching - James Flaherty - B/H - 3rd ed. - 2010 17
  18. 18.  Even a single conversation must have a large background if the products of coaching, , , and , are to be produced.  Only when the relationship is in place, and you’ve done some assessment, and you have observed an opening for coaching – only then are you in a position to approach your client to resolve a simple issue in a single conversation. 5/12/2015jgillis767@aol.com Coaching - James Flaherty - B/H - 3rd ed. - 2010 18
  19. 19.  Ask the client for permission to coach.  Say in general what the outcomes could be.  “What were you attempting to accomplish?”  “Did it happen?”  “How could you tell?”  “How did you decide what to do?”  “How did you analyze the situation?”  “What were you feeling at the time?”  Don’t try to solve the problem.  Trust that the client will take the more effective action as soon as he can see it.  Help the client explore alternative actions.  Stay with steps one through four until you feel confident that each has been accomplished.  Then ask your client, “What action will you take?”  And, “How will you be able to correct yourself in the future to be consistent. 5/12/2015jgillis767@aol.com Coaching - James Flaherty - B/H - 3rd ed. - 2010 19
  20. 20.  Begin by discussing the opening for coaching you have observed. (Cells 33-35, Part One).  Formally establish the coaching relationship (Cells 9-11, Part Two).  Demonstrate skill, competency and respect for the client.  Understand client’s “way of observing.” (Assessment, Cells 37-47, Part One).  Assign a self-observation exercise (Appendix A, Cell 46, Part Three)  Since the point of coaching is to alter the client’s “structure of interpretation,” it is more important initially to work on observation than on action. 5/12/2015jgillis767@aol.com Coaching - James Flaherty - B/H - 3rd ed. - 2010 20
  21. 21.  Use an assessment model to better understand your client (Cells 37- 47, Part One)  Write out a self-observation exercise to give to your client during the session. (Cells 2-4, 46, Part Three)  List three intended outcomes that could be achieved in the coaching program. Modify them as you go, with client input.  Consider what questions, concerns, or objections your potential client may have, and be prepared to address them. 5/12/2015jgillis767@aol.com Coaching - James Flaherty - B/H - 3rd ed. - 2010 21
  22. 22.  What openings for coaching have you seen?  Is the client open to being coached?  What could happen for the client?  What you will provide.  What you ask of the client.  Possible interruptions and hindrances.  Agreement about outcomes (coach and client write these down). 5/12/2015jgillis767@aol.com Coaching - James Flaherty - B/H - 3rd ed. - 2010 22
  23. 23.  Give self-observation exercise. (e.g. “…for the next two weeks watch yourself very closely whenever you are doing a presentation or answering technical questions for somebody.”)  Answer questions/address concerns.  How you will communicate.  How available you are.  Schedule the next session. 5/12/2015jgillis767@aol.com Coaching - James Flaherty - B/H - 3rd ed. - 2010 23
  24. 24.  What do you intend to accomplish in this session?  What is your view of how the program is progressing? Are there any corrections to be made?  What questions or concerns is your client likely to have, especially regarding the new practices?  What questions do you have for the client?  Design a Practice for your client (Cells 6-10, 19, 47-48, Part Three) 5/12/2015jgillis767@aol.com Coaching - James Flaherty - B/H - 3rd ed. - 2010 24
  25. 25. 1. During this conversation, the learning from the observation exercise is put into action. It begins with the client reporting out. 2. This should be a follow-up of the conversations between sessions. 3. Build on what your client reports and flesh out the observations. 4. Review together the how observation, action, and outcomes are connected. Keep listening to synthesize and understand. 5. Acknowledge all positive results. 5/12/2015jgillis767@aol.com Coaching - James Flaherty - B/H - 3rd ed. - 2010 25
  26. 26. 6. Then discuss what new behavior your client could initiate that would bring about the outcomes. 7. Talk about new behavior; moving toward outcomes; building upon results so far. 8. What (new) competence will be necessary for the new behavior? 9. Introduce new Practice (Cells 6-10, 19, 47-48, Part Three). Answer questions and concerns. Integrate Practice into program and enroll client in doing new Practice. 5/12/2015jgillis767@aol.com Coaching - James Flaherty - B/H - 3rd ed. - 2010 26 10.
  27. 27.  The challenge now is to complete the program leaving enough structure and competence in place so that your client remains and . – Client is convinced that no change has happened, or that it won’t last. – Client feels/thinks that it’s only by your coaching that competence will remain or outcomes will continue to happen. –There’s an edge of disappointment, despair, resignation, or cynicism/skepticism, and maybe some accusation/antagonism directed at you. Stay open. Don’t defend. 5/12/2015jgillis767@aol.com Coaching - James Flaherty - B/H - 3rd ed. - 2010 27
  28. 28.  Report results of new practice.  Progress on outcomes.  What openings? What breakdowns?  Stay open to what client says. Remind client of Outcomes.  Leave client self-directing and self/generating.  Add observation exercises, practices or sessions as necessary.  Begin program again if required. 5/12/2015jgillis767@aol.com Coaching - James Flaherty - B/H - 3rd ed. - 2010 28
  29. 29. – in all domains, not only coaching topics.  New possibilities for client: New relationships? New identity? New conversations?  New learnings for client: About self? About others? About work? About becoming competent?  Addressing potential breakdowns. What to look for, what actions?  Continuing to improve. In what? New practices? 5/12/2015jgillis767@aol.com Coaching - James Flaherty - B/H - 3rd ed. - 2010 29
  30. 30. Type Three Conversations may be what you employ in coaching people outside of the work environment or with people with whom you have a profound relationship. The design elements are more intricate and probably will require more thinking on your part. But this additional work will more than justify itself in the depth and longevity of the changes brought about. 5/12/2015jgillis767@aol.com Coaching - James Flaherty - B/H - 3rd ed. - 2010 30
  31. 31.  Observable phenomena are changes that both the client and the coach can see and agree on.  Examples include speaking up more in meetings, initiating new programs, completing projects on time.  Being clear in your thinking, feeling better about yourself, and having more certainty are not observable phenomena. . 5/12/2015jgillis767@aol.com Coaching - James Flaherty - B/H - 3rd ed. - 2010 31
  32. 32.  Ask yourself what the client must be in order to take this new action.  For example, the client must be when she is: interrupting a conversation; continuing to put off taking action; or when she has stopped listening, for example.  These observations become incorporated when they are repeated again and again. 5/12/2015jgillis767@aol.com Coaching - James Flaherty - B/H - 3rd ed. - 2010 32
  33. 33.  The greatest difficulty is in letting go of what is hindering learning.  There may be ways of and acting that are .  A period of observation may be necessary to determine what these distinctions may be for a particular client. 5/12/2015jgillis767@aol.com Coaching - James Flaherty - B/H - 3rd ed. - 2010 33
  34. 34.  In order to bring about the outcomes of the program, the client will have to undo structures that are getting in the way.  For example, a client who is working on being able to listen better may have to give up the habit of working on his computer during conference calls.  Or flipping through his messages when a colleague is having a conversation with him. 5/12/2015jgillis767@aol.com Coaching - James Flaherty - B/H - 3rd ed. - 2010 34
  35. 35. 5/12/2015jgillis767@aol.com Coaching - James Flaherty - B/H - 3rd ed. - 2010 35  Invent, by declaration, an internal separation in yourself. Divide yourself into two persons: one who acts/reacts in life, and one who passively observes.  Using the following questions , begin to observe yourself. Observe quietly, passively, your internal states and what you show to the world.  At the end of each day, review the day and what happened and how you reacted. (Write notes so you can begin to notice patterns.)
  36. 36. 5/12/2015jgillis767@aol.com Coaching - James Flaherty - B/H - 3rd ed. - 2010 36 http://slideshare.net/micrimson jgillis767@aol.com

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