Fed Squad

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Fed Squad

  1. 1. The Audience is listening
  2. 2. Who wants to be a…
  3. 3. NOT ME! Who wants to be a…
  4. 4. Who wants to be a…
  5. 5. NOT ME! Who wants to be a…
  6. 6. Who wants to be a…
  7. 7. Laugh Who wants to be a…
  8. 8. Who wants to be a…
  9. 9. Applause Who wants to be a…
  10. 10. Who wants to be a…
  11. 11. Laugh Who wants to be a…
  12. 12. Who wants to be a…
  13. 13. Applause Who wants to be a…
  14. 14. Who wants to be a…
  15. 15. Or that’s what he says! Who wants to be a…
  16. 16. Who wants to be a…
  17. 17. Or that’s what he says! Who wants to be a…
  18. 18. Who wants to be a…
  19. 19. Or that’s what he says! Who wants to be a…
  20. 20. Who wants to be a…
  21. 21. The Government’s new terrorism laws help us to be protected and safe, while allowing us to be Young and Free. Authorised by: $%$(*%&^$%*$ &%$^$%$&%* Canberra
  22. 22. Who wants to be a…
  23. 23. Applause Who wants to be a…
  24. 24. Who wants to be a…
  25. 25. Ooooooo… Who wants to be a…
  26. 26. Who wants to be a…
  27. 27. Sponsored by: RMIT Australia’s Premier Technical University
  28. 28. Who wants to be a…
  29. 29. Applause Who wants to be a…
  30. 30. Government Sanctioned TM Arts Practitioner
  31. 31. Julian Obfukatic Movement Artist Artistic Director, Spunky Groove
  32. 32. Julian was the only respondent to a nation-wide call for ‘Movement Artisans’ to come forward
  33. 33. Julian Obfukatic Movement Artist Artistic Director, Spunky Groove
  34. 34. John Freeman WD40 OBE, OA, Chief Bureaucrat. Office of Australian Identity
  35. 35. What is contemporary movement?
  36. 36. Excepts from Spunky Groove’s 1994 Piece: “Arcane” A work based on modern subatomic quark theory and it’s relationship to Icelandic Renaissance Poets
  37. 37. Susan Lá Põüffê Couturier & Textile Product Developer POUFFE Enterprises
  38. 38. How do you see your role in this project?
  39. 39. Fragmenta Scape Architect and Spatial Designer LAB+Frag Studio
  40. 40. Kirsty Zygote Writer, Broadcaster, Publisher & Raconteur Mother’s Of Invention Pty Ltd.
  41. 41. Kjirstih Zygote Writer, Broadcaster, Publisher & Raconteur Mother’s Of Invention Pty Ltd.
  42. 42. $(*&%^# Zygote Writer, Broadcaster, Publisher & Raconteur Mother’s Of Invention Pty Ltd.
  43. 43. Dieter Dieter New Media Installation & Video Artist (& part-time Gender Illusionist)
  44. 44. © 2003 Umpski-Doomski Music
  45. 45. Fed Squad HQ 9:06AM
  46. 46. Creative Development Meeting Fed Squad HQ
  47. 47. 3 months before the ‘event’…
  48. 48. Architectural Review Meeting Fed Squad HQ 4:35PM
  49. 49. Marg’s Day Spa, Daylesford, Victoria 2:56PM
  50. 50. Creative Development Meeting Fed Squad HQ
  51. 51. 10 days before the ‘event’…
  52. 52. The Docklands Stadium is now known as the “Telstra Dome”.
  53. 53. Geometrical Analysis has proven that the stadium is not a ‘dome’.
  54. 54. Telstra were unavailable for comment.
  55. 55. Susan’s PA, Marge has a PhD. in Paleolithic Botany
  56. 56. Construction of the North East Shard was halted when non-unionised lemurs were found welding girders in early June.
  57. 57. Planet Ark Hotline: 131166
  58. 58. ‘Hydro’ premiered at the National Theatre, St Kilda in July 1999.
  59. 59. It went on to win Best Use of Iron (by Faggots) at the *wallpaper ‘Shit-Hot’ awards in Bristol.
  60. 60. 2 Months ago… On route to Planning Meeting
  61. 61. 3 Months ago…. ‘Getting-to-know-you’ BBQ
  62. 62. 1 Month ago…. Fed Squad HQ
  63. 63. Meanwhile… Back in the present…
  64. 64. Fed Squad HQ 7:34PM
  65. 65. 4 Hours to Go Event Management Tent
  66. 66. Dieter Dieter was commissioned to capture the Federation Squad’s “event” on film. Dieter’s artistic choice was to not capture the event conventionally.
  67. 67. What follows is Dieter’s ‘re-creation’ of the event.
  68. 68. The Roulette, The Quiche, His Life, & My Lover
  69. 69. A Film by Dieter Dieter
  70. 70. 14 drugged kangaroos performers rappel down the temporary cardboard shard
  71. 71. Rove (on ice) interviews Vanessa Amorosi (on skis)
  72. 72. Vanessa Amorosi (still on skis) sings ‘Shine’
  73. 73. Vanessa Amorosi (remaining on skis) sings ‘I’m a Melbourne Slapper’
  74. 74. The Melbourne Marching Boys perform “Go West”
  75. 75. Angry Anderson sings “Bound for Glory”
  76. 76. Steve Erwin (AKA The Crocodile Hunter) Enters on horseback
  77. 77. John Freeman and Kjirstih Zygote are caught red-handed. Fragmenta Scape (in flight suit) exiting at rear
  78. 78. Julie Anthony sings “Advance Australia Fair” Carried on by 2002 AFL Premiers the Brisbane Lions
  79. 79. Julie Anthony still singing “Advance Australia Fair” 12 hours later. The Brisbane Lions are now rather tired.
  80. 80. Nicki Webster (suspended) over the square. She doesn’t sing.
  81. 81. Julian starts an impromptu conga-line
  82. 82. Meanwhile, on MoonBase Alpha, no-one was home.
  83. 83. Cathy Freeman enters with Square with the “Flame of Federation”
  84. 84. After a small technical hitch with the gigantic torch mechanism, Cathy is ready to light the flame
  85. 85. Cathy Freeman and the lit ‘Flame of Federation’
  86. 86. The ‘G’day’ Twin Shards Visitors Centre
  87. 87. Fragmenta piloting an RAAF Roulette past the Shards
  88. 88. Fragmenta piloting an RAAF Roulette towards the Shards
  89. 89. Fragmenta piloting an RAAF Roulette into the Shards
  90. 90. Death. Destruction. Lego.
  91. 91. I dedicate this film to the memory of Quiche.
  92. 92. A Film by Dieter Dieter
  93. 93. Julian Obfukatic is now a bush-dance teacher at Bangarra State School
  94. 94. Kjirstih Zygote was the first person evicted from Celebrity Big Brother IV
  95. 95. John Freeman now tours as the lead performer in the “Oz Neil Diamond Experience” (seen here at the Wangaratta Taberet)
  96. 96. Fragmenta Scape died during the ‘Centenary of Federation’ celebrations when the Roulette PC9A she was flying crashed into the Twin Shards at Federation Square.
  97. 97. Susan Lá Põüffê died from massive internal injuries suffered during a frenzied attack by a mob of irate kangaroo movement artists.
  98. 98. Dieter Dieter (aka Lorraine Henderson) continues to fend off calls from NW and Woman’s Day wanting her side of the story to her lesbian affair with Sally Carey. She now lives in Queensland with her mother, masturbating and eating pizza.

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