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Jacob Zuma                         From: Spin - detected             “We should pronounce at the end of this             c...
Jacob Zuma                              To: What they mean             Maybe if I say the word ‘plan’ often enough        ...
Gwede Mantashe                   From: Spin - detected          “If the ANC is attacked by an alliance partner          th...
Gwede Mantashe                      To: What they mean          Screw you Cosatu. Why does everyone like          you guys...
Tokyo Sexwale                          From: Spin - detected           “I did it for democracy.”
Tokyo Sexwale                          To: What they mean           Well actually, I did it for the presidency. Again.    ...
Tokyo Sexwale                      From: Spin - detected           “I can’t count the money.”
Tokyo Sexwale                         To: What they mean           Yeah. I make it, bitch. Find someone else to be        ...
Trevor Manuel                        From: Spin - detected            “I spoke this year at the Mail & Guardian’s 200     ...
Trevor Manuel                          To: What they mean            I got praised for this ANC gig in 1994 but now       ...
Jacob Zuma                          From: Spin - detected             “We should not allow the situation where those      ...
Jacob Zuma                           To: What they mean             Stop wasting money, idiots! I need a couple           ...
Kgalema Motlanthe    From: Spin - detected           “ ... ”
Kgalema Motlanthe   To: What they mean           ...
Ace Magashule                     From: Spin - detected           "I am confident that I was going to win if I           a...
Ace Magashule                        To: What they mean           I may lead the most embarrassing province in           t...
Zwelinzima Vavi                      From: Spin - detected            “If Cosatu was to agree to stop its stance of       ...
Zwelinzima Vavi                      To: What they mean            Me, keep quiet? Nice one, Gwede. Pull the            ot...
Jackson Mthembu                  From: Spin - detected          "The storm is not a laughing matter."
Jackson Mthembu                      To: What they mean          Okay yes, we told you this was a serious          briefin...
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Poogle translate: 10 Mangaung quotes re-interpreted

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Poogle translate, like Google’s version, takes indecipherable phrases in another language and puts them in plain English for you. Except this is the language of the politicians. Do they ever say what they mean? Of course not.

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Poogle translate: 10 Mangaung quotes re-interpreted

  1. 1. Jacob Zuma From: Spin - detected “We should pronounce at the end of this conference: What is our plan about the plan? The national plan?”
  2. 2. Jacob Zuma To: What they mean Maybe if I say the word ‘plan’ often enough people will forget that I never had one. I have five more years left before unemployment – or prison. I need a legacy. Fast.
  3. 3. Gwede Mantashe From: Spin - detected “If the ANC is attacked by an alliance partner the impact of that attack is heavier on the movement than all the opposition parties put together.”
  4. 4. Gwede Mantashe To: What they mean Screw you Cosatu. Why does everyone like you guys more than the SACP? We’re the vanguard of the left, damnit! The workers were never meant to get this popular.
  5. 5. Tokyo Sexwale From: Spin - detected “I did it for democracy.”
  6. 6. Tokyo Sexwale To: What they mean Well actually, I did it for the presidency. Again. I’m all out of ideas.
  7. 7. Tokyo Sexwale From: Spin - detected “I can’t count the money.”
  8. 8. Tokyo Sexwale To: What they mean Yeah. I make it, bitch. Find someone else to be your treasurer general. SMH.
  9. 9. Trevor Manuel From: Spin - detected “I spoke this year at the Mail & Guardian’s 200 Young South Africans event and took a decision as a matter of principle. It is time for young people to come through the system. I want to try to mentor. I feel there’s a duty to do that now.”
  10. 10. Trevor Manuel To: What they mean I got praised for this ANC gig in 1994 but now it’s just getting embarrassing. I’m getting too old for this shit.
  11. 11. Jacob Zuma From: Spin - detected “We should not allow the situation where those who have money turn ANC members into commodities.”
  12. 12. Jacob Zuma To: What they mean Stop wasting money, idiots! I need a couple more soccer fields on the compound in Nkandla.
  13. 13. Kgalema Motlanthe From: Spin - detected “ ... ”
  14. 14. Kgalema Motlanthe To: What they mean ...
  15. 15. Ace Magashule From: Spin - detected "I am confident that I was going to win if I accepted. I interacted with ANC members in all provinces and they showed their support for me.”
  16. 16. Ace Magashule To: What they mean I may lead the most embarrassing province in the ANC, but now I’m taking the party to court … and I’m still going to get respect for being awesome. That’s how narcissism works, idiots.
  17. 17. Zwelinzima Vavi From: Spin - detected “If Cosatu was to agree to stop its stance of critical support to the ANC, Cosatu will die first followed by the ANC and then democracy.”
  18. 18. Zwelinzima Vavi To: What they mean Me, keep quiet? Nice one, Gwede. Pull the other one, and take off those red socks while you’re at it. You’re an embarrassment to the left.
  19. 19. Jackson Mthembu From: Spin - detected "The storm is not a laughing matter."
  20. 20. Jackson Mthembu To: What they mean Okay yes, we told you this was a serious briefing and now it’s about the weather … but have you seen that tent? It’s flimsier than our cabinet minister performance agreements. I’m not responding to any storms in an Irish coffee cup.

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