Thank you [Martina] for that kind introduction. Good morning/afternoon ladies (and I see a few gentlemen…). I’m Margo Geller. Welcome to the next 45 minutes of your life…now I know between that and my opening slide you might be feeling a little uncertain about this presentation, but I promise you’ll have fun, be entertained and leave with some tools that you can begin to use immediately ready to “embrace the crisis” facing us all and use it to your advantage in business.
Now, I’m sure you’re asking yourself – as I have many times when I’ve been in your seats - just who is this person standing in the front of the room? What the heck is a business therapist? What does she bring to the table that’s going to help me? Those are fair questions that I’d like to answer… Well, before I got here today (well, right before I got here I was in the parking lot trying to find a spot)….I was an entrepreneur – I had a successful catering business that I sold in 1988, but before that, I was a social worker and psychotherapist for more than 20 years. [As Martina told you, I received my Masters in Clinical Social Work from the University of Georgia and my Bachelor's degree in Psychology from Emory University.] Then, in [19XX], I was asked to join the staff of a large financial planning firm here in Atlanta, where I helped counsel their advisors on the issues unique to their business. All that training and work expereince has uniquely prepared me for what I do now – I am a business therapist – someone who knows both sides of the equation – about the business of business, but also the emotions that invariably can get in the way of making more money even in the best of times…but these aren’t the best of times, are they…..?
[Video Plays and when finished the last frame remains on the screen] Wow! We have a new and untested administration with its work cut out for it on a number of fronts, our generation’s Vietnam, overflowing landfills and thousands of people losing their jobs everyday – oh – and there’s just the small matter of a looming economic meltdown. Our defenses are down, we are the walking wounded…. as financial services professionals, the ground that we’ve always known is literally shifting underneath us…what has always been true is no longer true, what’s always worked is no longer working…as an industry, we are in a crisis and as individuals you may feel afraid, helpless and frustrated. [Change slide]
And with our defenses down, we are at grave risk of catching the pandemic that I call: “The Ostrich Syndrome” …and once you catch it, especially as a financial services professional, it spreads quickly and profoundly to your clients, your family, your friends and other professionals and can poison those relationships. Yes, sticking your head in the sand is an understandable reaction – but not a particularly productive one - the last time I checked, it was not on the list of proven business building strategies - but learning how to effectively manage your emotions in the heat of the moment can be.
Those who know me well will tell you that I’m not big on platitudes as the first line of offense– chanting “serenity now”, serenity now” or listening to nothing but Yanni can be helpful, but you’ve got to FEEL YOUR FEELINGS FIRST - especially in these times - in order to enable positive forward movement. I find dating metaphors to be useful and fun to make my point…take a look… [Change slide]
[Seinfeld clip airs and when it ends it stays on screen] I love to use the dating metaphor because everyone can relate to it. When we’re blindsided in love or in business – like George’s girlfriend, we react, immediately in the heat of the moment. But that’s not usually when we make the best decisions…George’s girlfriend makes the situation worse by pushing George (even though George is of course being a colossal jerk)... Now I’m sure that at least one person in this room has a client relationship in crisis – or perhaps a client has broken up with them…does that sound like anyone in this room? [ask someone to share their story and talk them through how they handled it and what they might have done differently…] And you felt angry, right?
We are angry. Angry at the system, the outgoing administration, angry at ourselves – but we haven’t even acknowledged that we’re angry let alone expressed it out loud. And unexpressed anger gets turned inward and can manifest itself in fear and depression I say: “Anger rules!” Anger is our most energizing emotion – everyone say it with me: “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!” Only when you allow yourself to acknowledge, truly feel and express your anger( in an appropriate way of course), can you be in a position to help others and to handle the fact that your clients may be angry at you. [air second Seinfeld clip]
George’s girlfriend got the last word – she felt her anger, she took her time and then SHE broke up with George on her own terms… If you just stop, acknowledge your feelings and then act, you’ll keep your clients and you’ll be in a better place to attract even more…
Managing Emotions In A Cruel World Edit
A crisis is a terrible thing to waste…
Managing Emotions To Build Your Business Presentation to WIFS February 13, 2009 Presented by: Margo Geller – Business Therapist
The Next 45 Minutes of Your Life <ul><li>A Little About Me </li></ul><ul><li>Uncertain Times </li></ul><ul><li>The Ostrich Syndrome </li></ul><ul><li>The Upside of Anger </li></ul><ul><li>Final Thoughts and Questions </li></ul>
A Little About Me <ul><li>Unique work and academic background </li></ul><ul><ul><li>An entrepreneur who has built businesses </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>A social worker and psychotherapist </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>A coach and business therapist for nine years </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Significant experience working with financial services’ professionals </li></ul>
<ul><li>[Video montage showing Lehman Bros employees leaving for good, overflowing landfills, the Obamas waving goodbye to the Bushes and so forth…] </li></ul>
The Ostrich Syndrome <ul><li>A pandemic </li></ul><ul><li>What is its impact on you and those around you? </li></ul><ul><li>Is it an effective coping mechanism? </li></ul>
The Vaccine <ul><li>Short on platitudes </li></ul><ul><li>Long on action </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Feel your feelings first </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Acknowledge </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Pause </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Then act </li></ul></ul>
The Upside of Anger <ul><li>Anger is our most energizing emotion </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Turned inward it de-energizes </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Managed appropriately, it energizes </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Getting the most out of anger </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Allow yourself to feel it </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Express it appropriately </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Then you can help those prospects and clients who may be feeling anger </li></ul>
Feelings Come First <ul><li>Take a deep breath </li></ul><ul><li>Pause </li></ul><ul><li>Act </li></ul>