Learning Pool: Work life balance 1 the secrets to building confidence resilience & motivation

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In the first part of Learning Pool's Work/Life Balance webinars, let Life Coach Tracy Dempsey show you how you can successfully build confidence, resilience and motivation.

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  • NLP technique: modelling Sit / stand like model
  • Learning Pool: Work life balance 1 the secrets to building confidence resilience & motivation

    1. 1. Confidence, Resilience & Motivation
    2. 2. The key to all three is: Story . © www.soulambition.co.uk
    3. 3. © www.soulambition.co.uk My Story From unfulfilling job, feeling trapped, being own worst critic, having “brittle” confidence... ...to rewarding career(s), feeling free, being own best friend, having real, lasting confidence
    4. 4. © www.soulambition.co.uk Your Story?
    5. 5. © www.soulambition.co.uk
    6. 6. © www.soulambition.co.uk Confidence: Before & After
    7. 7. © www.soulambition.co.uk
    8. 8. © www.soulambition.co.uk “ Whether you believe you can or you can't, you're probably right.” Henry Ford
    9. 9. © www.soulambition.co.uk Confidence: Worth + Ability
    10. 10. © www.soulambition.co.uk <ul><ul><ul><li>What personality traits are you proudest of? </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>What would your best friend say was the best thing about you ? </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>What skills are you proudest of? </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>What achievements are you proudest of? </li></ul></ul></ul>
    11. 11. © www.soulambition.co.uk Blame v. Responsibility: My Business Your Business Any Other Business [Adapted from “Loving What Is”, Byron Katie]
    12. 12. © www.soulambition.co.uk <ul><ul><ul><li>What personality traits would you like to develop ? </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>What skills would you like to develop ? </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>What values would you like to honour more ? </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>What would you like other people to see in you ? </li></ul></ul></ul>
    13. 13. © www.soulambition.co.uk <ul><ul><ul><li>Who do you most admire ? </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>What is it you admire most about them? </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Do you already have this? </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Do you want to develop this in yourself? </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>How could you emulate them? </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Fake it – but only until you make it yours ! </li></ul></ul></ul>
    14. 14. © www.soulambition.co.uk Leave your comfort zone . Regularly .
    15. 15. <ul><li>Regarding doubt / warnings / advice you don't want: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Remember it is usually well-meant </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>...And it is sometimes well-judged </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Appreciate the concern behind it </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Try not to be defensive </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>“ Thanks for that, I'll certainly think about it”, or </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>“ I'm happy with my decision but thanks for your concern” </li></ul></ul>© www.soulambition.co.uk
    16. 16. <ul><li>Regarding criticism: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>“ Do you think so? That's interesting.” </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>In your own time , consider it for value </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Keep / act on anything useful </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Ditch anything else ! </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>There is no failure – only feedback </li></ul></ul>© www.soulambition.co.uk
    17. 17. ...That goes for self-criticism too! © www.soulambition.co.uk
    18. 18. Other people may be scared of your changes. Other people may be jealous of your changes. Other people might say you're not capable of change. That's them – NOT YOU ! © www.soulambition.co.uk
    19. 19. © www.soulambition.co.uk Resilience: Before & After
    20. 20. © www.soulambition.co.uk “ Resilience is the human capacity to deal with, overcome, learn from or even be transformed by adversity” [Edith H. Grotberg, 1999]
    21. 21. © www.soulambition.co.uk <ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Attitude: thoughts, feelings, behaviours </li></ul></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Flexible thinking: choose your story </li></ul></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Determination to fully experience & grow </li></ul></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Perspective: mountain or molehill? </li></ul></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Find lesson or opportunity </li></ul></ul></ul></ul>
    22. 22. © www.soulambition.co.uk <ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Prioritise – 'me' time and space is crucial </li></ul></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Say no without guilt </li></ul></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Say yes without fear (and even with it) </li></ul></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Get rid of ' should ' </li></ul></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Use your energy for 'my business ' </li></ul></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Accept that resilience is not constant or universal – go easy on yourself </li></ul></ul></ul></ul>
    23. 23. © www.soulambition.co.uk Vulnerability: Risks v Benefits?
    24. 24. © www.soulambition.co.uk <ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Emotions – use as a guide </li></ul></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Don't bottle up or blot out </li></ul></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Look for thought behind the emotion </li></ul></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Choose a more supportive thought (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) </li></ul></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Prioritise your values </li></ul></ul></ul></ul>
    25. 25. © www.soulambition.co.uk Create an exciting , inspiring vision of yourself as you want to be
    26. 26. © www.soulambition.co.uk Support & resources? Inner and Outer
    27. 27. © www.soulambition.co.uk <ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Enough Sleep (beat rumination ) </li></ul></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Healthy diet – plenty of water </li></ul></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Exercise </li></ul></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><ul><li>“ Interval training ” - build in recovery </li></ul></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Supportive breathing </li></ul></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Meditation </li></ul></ul></ul></ul>
    28. 28. © www.soulambition.co.uk <ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Family & Friends </li></ul></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Professionals </li></ul></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Forums, support groups </li></ul></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Books , articles , websites , courses , podcasts , etc </li></ul></ul></ul></ul>
    29. 29. © www.soulambition.co.uk Motivation: Before & After
    30. 30. © www.soulambition.co.uk
    31. 31. © www.soulambition.co.uk Story: “ What sort of person am I, what sort of situation is this, and what does a person like me do in a situation like this ?”
    32. 32. © www.soulambition.co.uk New story? Create an exciting , inspiring vision of yourself as you want to be
    33. 33. © www.soulambition.co.uk The Rider , the Elephant and the Path ( Rational , emotional & environmental components) [“Switch!” - Chip & Dan Heath]
    34. 34. © www.soulambition.co.uk
    35. 35. © www.soulambition.co.uk
    36. 36. © www.soulambition.co.uk
    37. 37. Surround yourself with positive people. Don't share your dreams with negative people. Learn to 'firewall'. This is your life – no-one else's! © www.soulambition.co.uk
    38. 38. Your life is what you make it, not what happens to you. Own it. © www.soulambition.co.uk
    39. 39. © www.soulambition.co.uk Recommended Reading Developing Resilience: A Cognitive Behavioural Approach - Michael Neenan The Power of Now - Eckhart Tolle Loving What Is - Byron Katie Switch! - Chip & Dan Heath
    40. 40. © www.soulambition.co.uk Recommended Reading (continued) Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life - Thich Nhat Hanh Mind Over Mood: Change How You Feel By Changing the Way You Think - Christine A Padesky and Dennis Greenberger Dark Side of the Light Chasers: Reclaiming Your Power, Creativity, Brilliance and Dreams – Debbie Ford
    41. 41. Send your questions and comments to [email_address] For ideas, inspiration, useful links and motivation: www.soulambition.co.uk © www.soulambition.co.uk

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