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Becoming A Dreamer


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Becoming A Dreamer

  1. 1. THE Dream Movement SERIESBecoming aDreamer ByMarcia Wieder America’s Dream Coach® Number One
  2. 2. In selected anecdotes in this book, names and identifying character- istics have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals. Copyright ©2005 All right reserved. No part of this e-book may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage or retrieval system, without permission in writing from Marcia Wieder. Dream Coach® is a registered trademark of Marcia Wieder. Produced by On the Mark Branding Book design by Michele Singh E-books by Marcia Wieder Marcia’s Dream Moments: 52 Simple Ways to Get What You Want The Dream Movement Series Volume 1 Becoming a Dreamer Going Back to Basics Overcoming Failure Volume 2 Accessing Your Power Believing in Your Dreams Finding Your Dream Volume 3 Taking Time Living a Rich Life The Fundamentals of Ease Series 100 Ways to Make Life Easier 100 More Ways to Make Life EasierVisit
  3. 3. Becoming a Dreamer
  4. 4. IntroductionFollow your heart and act on something that you know to be true for you.Demonstrate that you are committed to at least exploring your dream andprove to yourself that it’s important by doing something. The saying “actionspeaks louder than words” never rang so true. Living powerfully includes beingauthentic and compassionate. Live large yet genuine. Trade the mundane forthe unexpected. Each day laid out before us is precious and unique from theone before and what will come tomorrow. In the end, however it arrives, youcan say, “I truly lived my life.” —Marcia Wieder
  5. 5. ‘‘ Dreamers design their lives and then ’’ act to make those dreams come true. Table of Contents The Power of Being a Dreamer . . . . . . . .7 Willingness . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .9 Desire . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .10 Imagination . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .11 Expectations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .15 Idealism . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .18 Your Power . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .19 Nocturnal Dreams . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .27 Insights . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .29
  6. 6. ‘‘ ’’ Your dreams define the quality of your life.
  7. 7. THE POWER OF BEING A DREAMERTo initiate something is to begin something, so this is the per-fect place to start. It’s about moving to a better place; aboutwaking up and remembering who you are and how you wantyour life to be. It’s time to reclaim the true you. There is a place inside of you that knows life is more abouthow you live and less about what you achieve. This book isdesigned to help you remember what it’s like to live your lifefully and create what you want. Sometimes initiation comesand goes unnoticed or unnamed. Sometimes it’s very obvious.I hear from people who have lost their vision or their way;from people who are tired and from people who are craving areconnection to their heart and soul. They are seeking what’snext. They are seeking an initiation. An initiation into what you may ask? Into a life that holdsmore. We seem hungry to live life differently, to feel morealive and more inspired; to reconnect to our passion, to ourhopes and our desires. Sometimes we may seek out the initia-tory process, but often it seeks us. Something starts to pushfrom the inside out and simultaneously from the outside in.Eventually you can no longer live the life you have been liv-ing. So, what comes next? What makes these experiences and initiations different fromeveryday life, is that they profoundly change us. We learn fromthem, and hopefully often share what we have learned with oth-ers. We become students and we become teachers. Often the biggest initiations, the occurrences that canchange or affect us the most, are done by or with the guid-ance of other people; people who know and understandthings that we don’t. Hopefully, these are people who wetrust, so we can become vulnerable and ultimately changedby the experience. Insight and initiation are so powerful because we don’t justrealize something “in our head.” Some of the choices we makeare not just nice ideas, but necessary. Perhaps they are evenessential to change who you are and how you live you life. Becoming a Dreamer 7
  8. 8. What is it for you right now? What is the change that’s tug- ging at your sleeve or whispering or in your ear? What’s calling your name or maybe even screaming at you? However subtle or obvious, it’s time to declare or reclaim the dreams that are most important to you and I will help you achieve them. Your dreams define the quality of your life if you are proac- tively creating dreams that are the expression of your heart and soul. Proactive means that you decide what matters to you and what you are going to do about it BEFORE it becomes an issue or problem. Reactive means you wait to see what life throws at you and then you respond- viscerally, not rationally. Our “gut response” has a tendency to get us into trouble. Usually this is done by the seat-of-your-pants, in panic mode. It is not very efficient, nor is it effective. Dreamers design their lives and then act to make those dreams come true. Standing in your life’s purpose, connect- ed to your passion, your joy, and your gifts, the dreams will be different than if you are simply fixing what’s wrong. When you feel it is time for an initiation into a new way of living, you can use the following map. Try not to take short cuts as each stage of this process builds on the one that came before it. Each is simple, yet serves a valuable purpose in mov- ing you in the direction of completion. 1. Set an intention for what it is you DREAM STEP want or what you are seeking. This Profound experiences can make us shows you are willing and wanting. stop, feel and change the way we 2. Declare what you want. Declaring think and live. Sometimes all it your intention or sharing your dream takes is a single life-changing event. definitely gets the energy moving. 3. Take action. This demonstrates Stop for a moment right now. that you are serious about your inten- See if you can recall a singular tion and taking action solidifies your decision you made or incident that commitment. changed the course of your life. 4. And after all this, the final step is What happened? What did you do? detachment. Let it go. What did you learn? For years, when people said to me, “Just let it go,” I thought they were nuts.8 The Dream Movement Series
  9. 9. “Let what go; and why, and how?” I just didn’t get it. Desire anddetachment can coexist. Although at first this may sound con-tradictory, as you set a clear intention for what you want andthen release it, it can unfold naturally. This doesn’t mean thatyou do nothing. It means that you simply trust without obsess-ing or controlling. It means you allow others to help you, mak-ing room for miracles to occur. This often misunderstoodconcept can provide greater ease in achieving your dreams. These four steps; intention, declaration, action and detach-ment, together comprise a logical map for initiating and explor-ing a new way of living, a way filled with power, ease and grace.WILLINGNESSThe first step in any initiation, or new beginning, is your choiceto go for it. Are you willing to live a dream come true life? Yourintention and willingness will set the tone and pace for every-thing. At a core level, this is a decision you must make for your-self, since you can only go as far as you are willing to go. Andhow far is that? How happy, loving, generous, fulfilled, healthyand abundant are you willing to be? Are you willing to go all theway? All the way to your heart’s wildest desires? Something, someplace inside of you must be saying, “I wantto dream.” Or maybe it’s closer to “I am dying to have a dreamand be a dreamer again.” We all need a break from the pres-sures of the “gotta-get-it-done-today” mentality of our overlyscheduled lives. As a fellow dreamer, are you willing to make this journey?You already have the ability and your willingness will serve asthe key. If you hear yourself saying, “I can’t,” try this. Change“I can’t” to “I won’t.” It’s probably more honest. Then be will-ing to change “I won’t,” to “I will,” simply by becoming will-ing. Again, use your volition to change “I won’t” to “I will.” Itmight sound like this inside your head or coming out yourmouth: “I know I need/want/have to make a change in my life,but I just can’t. Okay, the truth is, I won’t. Well perhaps I willtake just one small step forward and see what happens.” Becoming a Dreamer 9
  10. 10. Now you have begun your journey. Your willingness was the essential first step. It takes courage and true desire to do this, so I want to acknowledge you for saying “yes” to your needs and to your dreams, even at this point, if you don’t know exactly what they are. DESIRE You have the vehicle to make this journey. Your tank may need a little refueling but the gas for this trip comes cheap. It is your desire and your imagination that will give wings to your chariot. The American poet Audre Lorde said, “Our visions begin with our desires.” Your desire already exists. I hope you are feeling it as you are reading about being a dreamer, but if not, that’s fine too. For now, don’t think about it too much. There’s no advantage or need to reconnect with any old doubts. If they are present, it’s okay. Here’s a little secret. It is not necessary to believe in your dreams to have it as your dream. Of course it’s powerful to believe in yourself and your dreams, but at different times, most of us don’t and can use a little help. Once when I was on the Oprah Winfrey Show, she said to me, “If I had to attribute my success in life to any one thing, it was that I believed in my dreams even when no one else did.” Sure, it helps to be positive and faith is an undeniably pow- erful force. But sometimes there is no evidence that your dream is a good idea or that this is the right time to act on it, especially if you are looking for evidence if the wrong places. Places like your checkbook, the stock market or the latest infomercial is not where you want to look. Ultimately, the right place to look is in your own heart, Can you believe in your dream simply because it matters to you? Take care not to overanalyze your desires. If you do, you may begin to judge them and wind up dissipating your energies. Oth- erwise thoughts like “I should be more motivated,” and “I don’t know what I’m doing, or what I want and I can’t have it anyway!” …BOOM! These are Dream Killers. Don’t let them take hold.10 The Dream Movement Series
  11. 11. ‘‘ “Ultimately, the right place to ’’ look is in your own heart. Focus more on your desire than on your doubt and thedream will take care of itself. You may be surprised at how eas-ily this happens. Your doubts are not as powerful as yourdesires, unless you make them so. If you sincerely want to bea dreamer and have wonderful dreams that will inspire youand ignite passion in your life, then so be it. Desire is a powerful force that can be used to make thingshappen. Never underestimate the power of your own desireand the way to ignite your passion is through your heart. Startto feel what you honestly want and how you would love yourlife to be. Start to dream. Choose to be a dreamer and declareit. Declaration is an essential step. Clearly let yourself, othersand the universe know what it is you want. This begins yourinitiation to discovering and living a richer life.IMAGINATIONIt’s time to let your desire grow and there is no better tool fordoing this than your very own imagination. The writer JosephJoubert said, “Imagination is the eye of the soul.” Allow yoursoul to express itself. Even if you think you might be a littlerusty in this department, it doesn’t take much to get the gearsfunctioning again. Fine-tune your vehicle by being aware andby being creative. Get in touch with your feelings. Take sometime to dream! The secret is to have fun. If this feels serious or overly sig-nificant, it probably means you have switched gears fromimagining to thinking. Avoid thinking…at least too much. Becoming a Dreamer 11
  12. 12. For many of us, this is easier said than done. But over time and with practice you will come to know that there is a very different way of living that doesn’t require nearly the amount of thinking and effort that many of us expect. Remember when you were a kid, or if you’ve watched some children using their God-given gift of imagination. There were no limits on doing something the right or wrong way. And in the Land of Make-Believe, you got to make up your own rules, which changed depending on who got to play. The reason is, kids don’t have preconceived notions based on their past. Everything is new and exciting. Life is a discovery. Their imagination became their reality. Only a shout from mom or dad announcing dinner time could pull them back to the real world. Learn from them and give it a try. An active imagination as an adult needs nurturing. You may have gotten out of practice over the years. Just start by envi- sioning a particular scene through your mind’s eye. Become aware of the feelings and emotions associated with what you are visualizing. Allow all of your senses to get connected to it. Consider the details: sounds, temperatures, textures and scents. The more you feel, and are in tune with, the more real it becomes. On a certain level, your mind doesn’t distinguish between thoughts, dreams and reality. For example, many Olympic and professional athletes have incorporated mental rehearsal into their training programs. Not only does this allow them to work through a particular routine or sports sce- nario, it in fact strengthens the neural connections that rein- force the whole process when putting it to use in the physical world. In this way, the mind can prepare the body to do amaz- ing things. Mark Twain was right when he said, “We can achieve what we can conceive and believe.” If you’ve never thought about this before, now is an excellent time to start. Imagine your life, your loves, your body and soul, being nurtured beyond your wildest dreams. Imagine a world that works and one reason is because you have a dream, like the great dreamer Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Think of how his one dream changed the course of the Civil Rights Movement. You12 The Dream Movement Series
  13. 13. too can make profound contributions in to the world. You can play this imagination game at any level. Pump upyour muscles and develop yourself as a dreamer by using yourimagination to dream big dreams. Don’t worry. Coming backto reality is the easy part. The English poet William Blakereminds us, “What is now proved, was once only imagined.” Itseems to be in the area of dreaming that we need practice. Notice what those noisy little voices in your head are sayingas you dream about what you want. What are you thinking asyou are imagining your heart’s desire? Do you hear your momsaying, “You’re thinking about doing what?” or perhaps dadyelling, “How do you expect to pay the rent doing that?” Or do‘‘ ’’ Let’s face it, most of us are not taught to hear the booming voice of society saying, “Dreamers livewith their heads in the clouds. Get real!” Pablo Picasso said,“Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain anartist once he grows up.” I recently gave a keynote speech to the Parents and TeachersAssociation, the PTA. I see the importance of influencing ournext generation of dreamers and I was curious to hear what par-ents were telling their kids about the future and their dreams. I heard a young girl tell her father that her dream was to bea teacher. Over the past years I’ve heard many parentsrespond with concern to this dream, saying things like,“There’s no money in that field” or “You’ll never get a job.” I was so pleased to hear this father tenderly say, “How won-derful that you have chosen to help so many. I know you’ll bea fabulous teacher.” His daughter lit up. Her dream was heard.Someone believed in her, which made her dream real andmade it very safe for her to be a dreamer. What a precious gift. Becoming a Dreamer 13
  14. 14. Let’s face it, most of us are not taught to dream, but rather to be realistic. What has this cost us? I’m not even sure what “realistic” means anymore. Many use the word realistic like a pair of handcuffs, keeping them chained to some unex- plored limitation. At 38 years old, most people, especially a man, might think it unrealistic to begin a career as a professional dancer, but not Don. It was a dream he had for a long time and he felt ready, so he called Ron Guidi, the artistic director for the Oakland Ballet in California. Ron said talent and guts usually went hand in hand. He agreed to let Don audition. ‘‘ Don was great, so Ron told him the reality of his situation. If ’’ Focus more on your desire than on your doubt. Don would practice and train six hours a day, six days a week, in six months he could go on stage with the ballet. Ron also told him that realistically, he would have much greater oppor- tunities and success as a dancer in musicals. This thrilled Don and was the beginning of his professional dance and theatrical career. In this case, their conversation about being realistic created more opportunities rather than more limitations. Don differs from dreamers who are in truth more day- dreamers or wishful thinkers because he took action. He “walked the talk.” The distinction is they have been told so often, or have come to believe they can’t have their dreams, that they now live in a fantasy world, never planning how to make their dreams happen, mostly discontent. Most day- dreamers never take any substantial action on their dreams. This is how you can spot them. Some believe they have a dream to hold on to. This is often worse than not having a dream at all, since it can set them off14 The Dream Movement Series
  15. 15. on a delusion of grandeur, a search for a treasure that neverexisted, or that they never intended to obtain. As we wake up, we start to remember or realize that not onlyis being a dreamer (different from one who fantasizes) a greatway of living, but it is essential for us to be joyful and fulfilledhuman beings. And with this realization, we make the commit-ment to be the kind of dreamers that we were destined to be.EXPECTATIONSOne of the critical skills for being a dreamer is to have expec-tations. It seems over the years, having expectations hassomehow gotten a bum rap. We’ve been told that it’s “notgood to expect too much.” Sadly, many of us have been condi-tioned to believe our expectations may lead to disappoint-ment. I was one of those people. Often at a very young age, traumatic things happen in ourlives that shape our core beliefs about our dreams and aboutour expectations. In my own life, the year that I was born, myolder sister lost her hearing. On top of that, my mother’s sis-ter was diagnosed with a terminal illness and shortly afterthat, her father died. It must have been devastating for my mother. And although I wastoo young to remember, I’ll bet that one of the choices she made atthat time in her life was to protect me and make sure no harmwould come to her baby. That choice had many repercussions. For many of us, as we grew up, one of our strongest and loud-est teachings was, “Don’t have any expectations and you won’tbe disappointed.” Although our parents’ intentions may havebeen to protect us, this became the foundation for some of ourbiggest limiting beliefs and tremendous amounts of fear. Every time we started to have a dream, or an opportunitysurfaced for something special or big in our life, our fear ofdisappointment kicked in and often immobilized us. Some-times we avoided the opportunity, while sometimes weunknowingly sabotaged the dream because of our terrifyingfear of the disappointment. Becoming a Dreamer 15
  16. 16. Once we begin to see how this fear impacts us and the emerging pattern, we’re able to try on a new behavior or explore a new belief. Here’s the secret for expanding your capacity to trust and try something new: Since we choose our beliefs, we can choose to believe that which will empower and move us forward, or that which will impede and hold us back. I just love Mark Twain, so forgive me for quoting him again. He so accurately said, “If you think you can or if you think you can’t, you’re probably right.” Realizing that you can choose what you believe (regardless of your life experi- ences) can be the biggest and most significant turning point of your life. Can you see how fear around expectations and disappoint- ment keeps you in dead-end relationships, afraid you won’t find someone better? Or, how this same belief may prevent expressing yourself out of the fear of having your partner or friends leave or people not like you? How has this fear kept you in a job or career that’s not rewarding? Do you see how your unwillingness to expect the best or even anything won- derful, is costing you your dreams? It takes time and practice, but you can begin the process of changing your limiting beliefs, here and now. I did this by learning to recognize when I was afraid of being disap- pointed. Plus, I developed the capacity inside myself to hear when “that” voice was talking to me. I used Post-it® notes around the house to reinforce a new belief and tried alternative ways of responding to that old limiting voice. I changed my belief from “life will disappoint me” to “life is filled with miracles.” With this belief, you begin to live a very different life. If you no longer expect life to disappoint you, in one very real way it no longer will. This doesn’t mean we never get disap- pointed. In reality, it’s our relationship to disappointment that shifts. Sometimes we no longer get stopped by the fear or possibility of being disappointment. And often, we end up experiencing far less disappointment in life because of this willingness.16 The Dream Movement Series
  17. 17. ‘‘ Choose to believe that which will ’’ empower and move you forward. As the fear lessens and releases some of its grip, we canexplore other options and begin to see and understand deep-er aspects about ourselves. You may even come to realize thatyour relationship to disappointment is a necessary skill todevelop, in order to be a dreamer. Consider this. If we arenever disappointed, we are not being dreamers, we are beingrealists. In other words, we are playing it safe. When we expect to have our dreams come true, or are notstopped by the fear of being disappointed, our eyes are peeled.We go out in the world with our heads held high looking forthat which we desire. We go to the places and do the things wewant to do. We expect to enjoy ourselves, taking personalresponsibility for the fulfillment and the disappointment ofour expectations. To expect your dreams to come true is tobelieve in your dreams and yourself. To expect your dreams tocome true is to have faith. The proper use of your expectations is a great way to deep-en your desire. Focus all of what you want. Use your imagina-tion to elaborate, visualize and see your dreams; fullyexpecting them to happen. Expect to live your dreams withthe daily miracles of life, giving you evidence that you aredoing this masterfully. And practice letting it all go. Having clarity about what youwant along with your expectations, will generate “juice” foryou. Obsessing over it will drain you. Expect and let it go byrelaxing, breathing, believing and trusting. Becoming a Dreamer 17
  18. 18. IDEALISM We can’t look honestly at expectations unless we first exam- ine and consider where they don’t work. Expectations can be ineffective and even dangerous when we are not honest about them. Sometimes we want and expect something so badly that our perceptions become skewed and distorted. My friend Barbara is a successful business executive with a Fortune 500 company. She’s been able to make many things happen for herself and others, but right now more than any- thing, she wants to be in love. Barb always knew exactly what she wanted from her mate. She had lots of pictures and even more expectations. One day she met a special man. When he spoke to her, he said all the right things and very quickly, she decided “he was the one.” As the rela- DREAM STEP tionship developed, he said and more What are you expecting importantly did, many things that were from life? incongruous with who she thought he Take a look at what you want in the was. She began to compromise on her areas of love, health, money, career, dream and on her needs. She continued friends and lifestyle.Are you expecting to view him through her expectations to have a long healthy life, filled with rather than see who he really was. The passion and good times or are you saying “love is blind” is grounded in expecting in some way to be short- some truth, and Barbara’s case was no changed and disappointed? exception. Three things I am expecting to get Eventually she ended the relationship out of life before I die are: and felt a tremendous amount of disap- pointment and heartache. She thought OR maybe she had expected too much and Three things I expect to do before began to doubt that she would ever meet I die are: the man of her dreams. As we discussed 1)_______________________ what actually happened, it became 2)______________________ apparent that the only thing she did 3)_________________________ wrong was lose touch with reality. She so badly wanted this to be “it”; and for this love to be “real,” that she stopped seeing18 The Dream Movement Series
  19. 19. the truth. She got lost in illusory expectations. After the pain of finally seeing what happened, she took abold step forward in her life. She revisited her expectationsregarding her dream relationship, checked in and decidedthat this was still her dream. It was still what she wanted afterall. As a matter of fact, she even added some additional quali-ties and expectations, based on what she had learned from therelationship that ended. Although she is not in a new relation-ship yet, this experience allowed her to reclaim a part of her-self that she lost when she stopped being true to herself. When we want something so badly, we may be unwilling orunable to see what is clearly happening. Discovering the truthis not an exact science like the Laws of Physics. It runs in vary-ing degrees; along a wide spectrum, with your version operat-ing at a slightly different reality than another’s. Learningexactly where your truth lies may take a bit of work, evenresulting in heartache. The challenge is to be true to your self.Your values and dreams are too personal to be compromisedfor anything less than what you know to be true. I can’t stressthis enough. The power of your expectations only works whenyou are completely honest with yourself and others. You mustbe truthful not only about your expectations, but also aboutthe reality of what is happening in your life. How we use our expectations or our fear of disappointment,is probably one of the most debilitating factors in being adreamer. We’ve all had disappointments in our lives, but eachof us deals with them in our own way: positively or negatively.YOUR POWERBelieving is the key and the single most important elementregarding your desires and getting what you want. If we believeanything is possible, let’s explore where we can go. We couldplay “what if.” What if you could do anything, have anything,and be anything? I bet you would approach life differently. Joan Brady asked herself these questions. Even though shewas a full-time registered nurse, her dream was to write a main- Becoming a Dreamer 19
  20. 20. stream novel. This answer to her “what if ” question, led her to an adult education class at The Learning Annex, where Nancy Taylor Rosenberg, a national best-selling author generously offered support and good advice. After years of constant rejec- tion by publishers, Joan suddenly felt confident that she could do get her novel published. And the magic continued. Joan followed Nancy’s recommendations to the letter and now tastes success. She was paid a handsome advance by Simon & Schuster and did a national book tour on her novel. All this started with a $24 investment in a great class and the magic associated with a very specific dream Let’s identify some of the basic inherent aspects for tapping into your power that are available to you right now. These are practices for getting you to a new dimension, a world where anything really is possible. 1. Believe anything is possible. Do you? Do you know where in your life you don’t believe anything or everything is possi- ble? Is there some place you are holding back? Is it in the career or the relationship of your dreams? Is it in living the life of your dreams? Believing that anything is possible is a shift in perception. It is a different way of living than most of us live on a day to day basis. Although it may initially feel uncomfortable and your rational mind may be telling you not to “buy it,” it is indeed possible. “Believing” is a powerful way of living life and the best thing you can do to shift your reality. Reality follows thought. With this core belief centered in your heart and being, reality will look differently. You will make choices that will further contribute to changing your world and you will soon come to see that you are right, that anything is possible. This may be a good time to distinguish between dreams and fantasies. A dream is something you want that you can devise a plan or a strategy for accomplishing. Usually in a fantasy there’s no apparent strategy. For example, I would describe winning the lottery as a fantasy. What strategy can you design20 The Dream Movement Series
  21. 21. for this, short of buying lots of tickets and doing a great dealof hoping? Would you describe receiving a massage from yourfavorite movie star as a dream or a fantasy? It depends on you.If you can design a plan to make it happen, it’s a dream, if not,it’s a fantasy. This does not mean that fantasies don’t happen,for indeed sometimes they do. And we love when they do! I suggest as you deepen this new core belief, that anythingis possible; recognize where you are exploring fantasy andwhere you are pursuing your dreams. Notice the difference.Recognize how the energy around dreams and fantasies differand learn from your insights.2. Find a deep quiet place within yourself. Insights andintuition connect us to a larger sphere of magic. This is theplace in all of us that may be considered the source of Divineinspiration and knowledge. This exists inside every single oneof us. I’m sure it’s one of the things that make us special as ‘‘ ’’ Believing is the key.human beings. But often it is an unknown place and some-times we may fear that which we do not know or understand. Look around at how many things in life or in nature we can’texplain or don’t fully understand. Can you see the magic thatexists in the unknown? Are you willing to tap into thatunknown without fully understanding it? Willingness is sure-ly the first step.3. Learn to ask simple, yet profound questions that willlead you home to your heart. This can be done by using ajournal, a tape recorder or speaking out loud. It is a way for youto know this knowledge resides inside of you. It’s a great con- Becoming a Dreamer 21
  22. 22. fidence builder to hear that you know the questions to ask. This will show you where you are at this point in your life. You will hear what’s going on in your head and you may start to see some patterns or insights just from the questioning process. The reason I recommend simple questions is to avoid get- ting into over-processing or over-analyzing. The shrewd busi- nesswoman Kate Halveson said, “If you are all wrapped up in yourself, you are overdressed.” It can be exhausting to over- think anything. We are going for clarity and insights. Start with uncomplicated questions. This will help you get clear about what you really want to know. Start with the intention of gaining clarity and the process of asking great questions will serve you well. 4. Listen for the answers, while awake, aware and asleep. Being quiet enough to hear the answers is the key here. It’s so rich to discover what you do know and, as we ask and open ourselves to learning and understanding on a core level, we end up with deeper insights into whom we are and why we are here. It’s a reward you get for doing the work. As we ask for more specific guidance, such as whether to go here or there, to do this or that, we hear the answers we need. As you intimately get to know this wise part of yourself, you realize that you are never alone and that some of the most pro- found knowledge of the universe is just a thought away. 5. Ask how you can see with new eyes, hear with new ears and experience whole new ways of thinking and living. Sometimes our reality seems so limited, so constricting and so small. Can you see the humor in this? Can you soften your focus and see beyond what you normally see? Can you see past the barriers and the limitations that your senses have? The artist Gauguin said, “I shut my eyes in order to see.” Can you close your eyes and see even more? Have you ever sensed there was more than meets the eye? Start to recognize or describe what else may be there. What if there really is more, perhaps another dimension filled with more magic and22 The Dream Movement Series
  23. 23. DREAM STEP Gain Clarity and Insight What do I want now? What makes me happy? Why am I here? How I can be of serv- ice to others? What excites me or moves me? Who do I admire and why? What would I like to learn or try? What would make my life easier and more fun? Become clear on one important value you hold close today. Today I discovered that ________________________________________ makes me _____________________________________. I pledge to put more of this into my life ___________________________________________________________ (sign your name)ease? Are you willing to tap into it, are you willing to use it andhave it use you to make things happen? A client and friend of mine named Van who works for Amer-ican Express was recently in Sedona, Arizona, home to someof the one of the most stunning vistas in America. The colorsin the landscape are just phenomenal to behold. Over-whelmed by the orange and red canvas of land and sky, hisbreath was literally taken away. Finally, he felt the only way toexperience all of it was to close his eyes. He told me for onemagical moment he experienced himself as part of the sur-rounding beauty. He approached that moment, not as a pas-sive bystander, but as a participant, wholly engrossed:physically, emotionally, cognitively and spiritually.6. Feel the riches and abundance of you and your life. Basi-cally, if you can come to believe and know yourself as a richperson based on who you are versus what you do or what youhave, you will indeed be tapped into a whole new way of livinglife and experiencing your magic. One way to do this is to learn to value everything. Notice Becoming a Dreamer 23
  24. 24. the gifts that are in your life and available to you. Obvious ones include friends, family, your special talents and your heartfelt feelings. Not so obvious ones may include some of your current obstacles. Even feelings of fear and doubt are gifts if you can use them to see a fresh perspective about your- ‘‘ self, your life and the choices that may be at hand. There is nothing more fulfilling than knowing and experiencing that you are living on purpose and making ’’ a difference with your life. Start to recognize and label everything a gift and your rela- tionship to things will change. If everything and everyone in your life was a gift, imagine how rich you would feel and truly be. Try this on. See if it doesn’t lighten life up for you and the people around you. This is one way for you to be a bright light wherever you go. This is not a Pollyana approach to life. It doesn’t mean you won’t be dealing with reality. It does mean that your relationship and the energy you use to interact with life will be more playful and more graceful. When we stop resisting things or fixing things and learn rather to accept everything, life gets easier. 7. Lighten up about life and the natural joy and sparkle of your being will shine through your eyes. Wait until you see the people you start to attract now. Be on the lookout for fel- low magicians, people like you who are committed to living a24 The Dream Movement Series
  25. 25. more joyful and inspirational life with greater ease and fun. Ask people what they are up to. Join hands with the oneswho are playing in your arena and extend your hand as an invi-tation to others. This is the best place and way to find yourDream Circle members and to enroll people into your proj-ects and your life. Aren’t these the kind of people you havealways dreamed of partnering and playing with? And use yourtalent to help others wake up too. Encourage the peoplearound you to share their dreams and passions with you. Lis-ten to them intently. Encourage them to go for it and watchthem light up. This is one small and extremely powerful thingwe all can do for each other.8. Every day be of service to others. Share your gifts wher-ever you go. Let your joy be seen and heard. Have a blast in lifewhile you learn from your experiences. Let life contribute toyou as you generously share who you are with others. Find the places to express yourself that matter to you andoffer your services and energy there. The greatest gift we haveis the gift of ourselves and absolutely the most fulfilling thingthat we can do with our lives is share ourselves with others.There is no one else in the world like you. In the whole wideworld there is no one that has your special gifts and talents.Where do you want to use them? Where do you choose tomake an impact and to have your presence felt? When I was younger and would hear people talk about vol-unteering and being of service, my reaction was quite cynical.I thought “those people” must have an ulterior motive or whywould they want to help others. That type of altruism baffledme. My ego couldn’t fathom why anyone would want to con-tribute their time and money and energy to strangers andneedy causes. I thought it was all hype. I’m grateful to say that as I have gotten my attention off of meand my goals, not only do I see why we would want to be of serv-ice, but clearly understand and know that a life without mean-ingful service is shallow and empty. Eleanor Roosevelt said,“When you cease to make a contribution you begin to die.” Becoming a Dreamer 25
  26. 26. A few weeks ago I attended a fundraiser for the Points of Light Celebration. They were honoring twenty-five outstand- ing volunteers who give generously their time, talent and resources. One young woman really impressed me. Twenty-one year old Sascha Bittner is a quadriplegic with a speech disability as a result of cerebral palsy. Besides being a full time student majoring in social welfare, she devotes eighty hours a month to organizations such as Kids Project, United Cerebral Palsy, HIV support services, AIDS Dementia Unit and is the editor of YES!, a magazine produced by youth with disabilities. This woman is fully engaged in life and is one of the most joyous people I have ever met. She lives her life fully alive. Finding your place is awesome. There is nothing more ful- filling than knowing and experiencing that you are living on purpose and making a difference with your life. You can feel this by playing in the arenas that turn you on. Don’t worry about finding THE one. You’ll probably move around as you evolve. For now, just find an outlet that empowers you by allowing you to express your passion and your intention to be of service, and watch the sparks fly! 9. Let your intuition guide you. Emerson said, “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters, compared to what lies within us.” Really tap into your personal power by doing all of the above. Get out there and do it. To embrace this fully it is essential to act on what you believe. This is the point of breakthrough. All the thinking and feel- ing in the world is fruitless without taking action. Soon, if you follow your intuition wholeheartedly, you’ll move from believ- ing to seeing that you are in fact capable of fulfilling even the “impossible” dreams. 10. Above all, TRUST YOURSELF. No two words are more powerful for you to use at this time. Commit to learning and experiencing unconditional self-trust. It takes practice, but you can do it. This is what we are going for. I will support you as you26 The Dream Movement Series
  27. 27. DREAM STEP Imagine This If you could trust yourself completely, what would you do? What changes would you make in your life? Answer the following questions as honestly as you can: If I were unstopped by fear, I would ______________________________. If I completely trusted myself, I would ______________________________.reconnect with this powerful and limitless place within your-self. This is where you trust yourself implicitly and know inyour heart and soul that anything is possible and that you canand will live the life you have always dreamed of.NOCTURNAL DREAMSDuring your dreams, you can get information otherwise unat-tainable. Dreams are the bridge between the world as weknow it and the world as we dream about it. Our dreams con-nect the unconscious to the conscious, the absurd to the mun-dane. Our dreams can take us places that our rational mindscan’t even fathom and in doing this, can open us up to newperspectives and ideas. Our dreams can also teach us. When you are sleeping your unconscious mind is free toroam and fly, which it does. Dreams are filled with symbolsand images and offer us much guidance and knowledge. Prac-tice recalling your dreams by writing them down as soon asyou wake up. According to The Talmud, “A dream unexplored is like a let-ter unopened.” Open your precious mail. Just before you fallasleep, when you’re in that twilight sleep, say to yourself, “Iwill remember my dream.” And in the morning at your firststirring, write down whatever image pops into your head.Don’t undermine yourself by declaring you don’t rememberbefore you even try. One image, one frame, can give you so Becoming a Dreamer 27
  28. 28. much insight and information. Carl Jung spent fifteen years exploring one dream. There is so much rich and insightful information in all our dreams. Once you’re awake, look more closely at this image or dream. What do you think it’s telling you? How does it make you feel? You can further explore the unconscious messages by delving into the emotions within the images or symbols. Consider painting or dancing or singing how the emotion of this dream makes you feel. For example, if you have a dream of yourself driving a fast car through a dark tunnel, notice how you feel. Are you scared or excited? Consider painting or drawing the feelings and emotions associated with this image. You may be very sur- prised to see where your unconscious mind takes you. Exercis- es like this help develop and strengthen your intuitive abilities. Learn to use and trust parts of yourself that are not tapped as often as your thinking rational mind. Insights from dreams don’t come from the thinking part of ‘‘ the mind. They come from a deeper place. The depth of our ’’ Insights from dreams come from a deeper place. dreams provides an opening and access to who we really are. Then your mind can help you decide what you want to do with the insights. Learn to use all of you, especially your uncon- scious mind. The results will enhance your ability to have goals and experience more of life. Wayne Dyer says, “Everything that you are capable of achieving while dreaming, will be possible while awake.” Use everything you have to come to know the truth of who you are, what you want and how you really want your life to be, from this moment forward. W28 The Dream Movement Series
  29. 29. InsightsInitiation is about beginning something new, including anew way of living.• Willingness is essential in any initiation or in making any dream come true. “I can’t.” often means “I won’t.” You can change “I won’t” to “I will” with will power. Practice this.• Focus more on your desire than your doubt. Over-analyz- ing your desires may cause doubt and pull your atten- tion away from where you need it.• Imagination is a creative force that will assist you in fig- uring out what and how you want your life to be. The more you feel while imagining, the more real it becomes.• Preferences and expectations often lead to attachment and disappointment. Practice having desire and detach- ment co-exist.• Expectations can be ineffective or even dangerous when we are not honest with ourselves and others.• Failure is a potent teacher. Learn from it rather than being afraid of it.• You can change your beliefs so they empower your dreams and desires. Create a strong belief in yourself and what you want.• Learn to recognize when your dream is what your soul desires rather than what your ego craves.• Believe anything is possible and look for evidence to support your belief.• Find a deep quiet place within yourself. Practice getting still and silent and in relationship with this part of you.• Learn to ask simple, yet profound questions that will lead you home to you heart. Listen for the answers that are coming from a wise place that you can completely trust.• Explore how you can see with new eyes, hear with new ears, and experience whole new ways of thinking and living. Let your intuition guide you and act on what you know.• Feel the riches and abundance of your life by recognizing everything as a gift. Becoming a Dreamer 29
  30. 30. Make a Daily Dream Visit For immediate support on Making Your Dreams Come True, I invite you to... • Join • Attend a Dream Workshop • Check Out My Dream Store • Hire a Certified Dream Coach® Marcia Wieder America’s Dream Coach®