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Beyond Ordinary Sex


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Beyond Ordinary Sex is a novel based on a true story and true characters. It is being adapted into a screenplay and is in preproduction as a live streaming internet talk show.

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Beyond Ordinary Sex

  1. 1. Beyond Ordinary Sex by Marguerite Cravatt, MA Contact: Marguerite Cravatt, M.A. 9461 Charleville Blvd. #160 Beverly hills, CA. 90212© Copyright January 2003Registered @ WGA WestISBN 0-9701738-8-1 1
  2. 2. AcknowledgementsThank you to Jasen Boyington for being a devoted motivator. At everylow point, your encouragement moved me forward.Thank you to Mirriam Hassell for her endless hours of listening tocopious revisions and encouraging me at every turn.Thank you to Pat Cravatt for her generous support and supplies donatedto help complete this project.Thank you to Janelle Boyington for her eagerness to participate throughreadership and feedback and for the insights and attention to detail thatshe shared with me.Thank you to all the readers for their participation and feedback. Theencouragement motivated me to complete this project.Thank you to all the characters who in real life gave me the material forthis book. I still love you all.Thank you to Stephen Boyington for giving me the greatest gift a mancan give a woman. 2
  3. 3. Adult WarningThis story is based on real people and real events. It is a combination offact and fiction. Time has been altered and identities have been changedto protect the innocent as well as the guilty.This reality based story has been kept authentic. The characters mayspeak in sexually explicit language, describe sexually graphic scenes,and use racist, sexist, and gay offensive and derogatory dialogue onoccasion.On some occasions, celebrities are referenced but never identified asactual participants in particular events. Any derogatory referencestoward anyone are not a view shared by the author but is authenticdialogue stemming directly from the characters.If you are under 18 years of age, are offended by such material, or if it isillegal to view adult material in your community, please practice selfcensorship and do not read. If you read this book, you are choosing todo so. By continuing to read, means that you understand and acceptresponsibility for your own actions, thus releasing the author from allliability. 3
  4. 4. What Flames Your Sensual Passions? A Glimpse of Desire in the Flicker of Candlelight, A Smiling Face, A Whisper inYour Ear, A Sensuous Kiss, Spiked Heels, Bare Sexy Feet, A Body Adorned in Glamour,A Silky Body Ala Natural, The Feel of Flesh on Flesh, Warm Breath, A Moan FromDeep Inside, An Arched Back, Wetness, Hardness, Movements, Rhythms, A SweatingBody, The Smell of Sex… Did You Know That Your Desires Reveal Who You Are? 4
  5. 5. ContentsPart One Spring ................................................................................... 7Meet M - Your Narrator ......................................................................... 8A Strange New Girl - Alise.................................................................... 11Jewel................................................................................................... 19Crystal ................................................................................................ 23Parlez-vous Francais?.......................................................................... 27Erotica 101 ......................................................................................... 37The Lingerie Customer ........................................................................ 46A Closet Case ...................................................................................... 50Part Two............................................................................................. 63The Bachelor Party .............................................................................. 64Candy-Ass & His Dilemma .................................................................. 69The 30 Second Session........................................................................ 73Slave Interviews .................................................................................. 75Part Three .................................................................................... 83Alise Disappears.................................................................................. 84Jewel’s First Full-Service Customer ..................................................... 86Jail House Blues ................................................................................. 93Meow-Meow’s Suicide Attempt............................................................. 98Viva Las Vegas ...................................................................................101Side Effects ........................................................................................108Viva Los Angeles.................................................................................112The Andrew Affair Begins ...................................................................115The Walking Dead ..............................................................................119The Scorpion & the Frog.....................................................................121Alise’s Karmic Anger...........................................................................124Secrets Exposed .................................................................................127Sacred Sex .........................................................................................132Bad Blood ..........................................................................................136Sex without a Condom .......................................................................138Snake Bites and Break Ups ................................................................140Part Four .....................................................................................145Beyond the Darkness .........................................................................146Quick Departures...............................................................................154New York, New York ...........................................................................156 5
  6. 6. The Secret Club..................................................................................163The Grand Entrance...........................................................................169The Jesus Session ..............................................................................172The Ballerina......................................................................................176The Pee Drinker .................................................................................180Mommie/Baby ...................................................................................184The CEO & the Swinging Chair...........................................................188Out of Medicine ..................................................................................190Rock Stars .........................................................................................192Who’s on Third? .................................................................................198The Stock Broker................................................................................200Exit to Trouble ...................................................................................203Lost Connections................................................................................206On the Road .......................................................................................212The Reunion ................................................................................220 6
  7. 7. Part One Spring 7
  8. 8. Meet M - Your Narrator S pringtime in Los Angeles is probably everyone’s favorite season. Our winters are mild, but we miss the sunshine that allows us to show off our bodies. When springarrives, off come the convertible tops; off come the turtle-necks, and weslip into our skimpy southern California look and wander around the cityposing like models and acting important. I love Los Angeles and showbiz people. I was the proud owner of asmall five and under casting agency a while back. I enjoyed my work,but one day on a movie set, I had an epiphany and faced a demon thatwas nagging me. I was not in the least bit happy. Casting was fun, butit wasn’t enough. Ideas formed in my mind, and my buried dreamsbegan to bubble to the surface, and in an instant, I received completeclarity about what I wanted to do with my life. I sat there in my car withmy business partner/live-in boyfriend and poured my heart out to him,explaining with great passion that I wanted to write stories that weregritty and realistic, and then produce them… with him of course, andtogether we could make a difference in the world, and I thought it was anachievable goal, and a good presentation, but he didn’t agree, and he leftme. 8
  9. 9. Supposedly, our childhood emotional environment determines whowe become. That can be a scary thought if you’ve had a less than idealchildhood. I grew up in the Bible-Belt. My sister and I like to laughabout it and say that our family put the “dys” in dysfunctional. My upbringing was insane, so I never felt completely “normal,”whatever that even means. I’ve gotten so accustomed to odd experiencesthat in the world of the strange and unusual I feel quite normal andordinary, but in the world of the normal and ordinary, I feel quite strangeand unusual. My Sicilian father, once a Hollywood stuntman/actor, died whenmy mother was near delivery with me. Out of necessity, she went to workshortly after, and my sexy, teenage sister became my primary caregiver.Mother was beautiful, dignified, and classy. But my sister was pureunadulterated sexy through and through. Sis was a gorgeous Betty Page type who was popular, sexy,vivacious, and fun-loving, and the men followed her around in drovesand drooled after her every movement. She never once complained abouther added responsibility of taking care of me. My other sister was analoof beauty pageant queen, and my brothers looked like young AlPacinos with the attitudes to match. I lived in a houseful of puberty stricken teenagers with massiveamounts of sexually charged energy. Since mom worked, we had noadult supervision, so, naturally, our house was party central. 9
  10. 10. Poor mom. It was not uncommon for her to request emergencyleave from work to come home and assist the police in shutting down ourout of control parties. In those formative years, while my fellow first graders were beingtucked into bed at eight, I was hanging out with my older sisterswatching scary movies until midnight. While other five year olds had tohold someone’s hand just to cross the street, I freely roamed theneighborhood. Wild parties, sexy people, crazy scenes, no wonder as an adult Iended up in showbiz. It felt like home. I realize that as a child I was abohemian, as a teenager a hoodlum, as a young adult a hedonist, and asa woman - I’m trying to recover and overcome my guilt. So, yes, my boyfriend left, but I didn’t throw away my dream. Icontinued on, and this is my last year of grad school, and once finishedwith my class requirements, I plan to travel the country in my RV andwrite my master thesis, and after that, my new journey begins. During the transition from the exciting world of show biz to thesomewhat sedate world of academia, I developed a simple routine ofreading and writing - and not much else. I worked as an apartmentmanager to pay the bills, and I had almost convinced myself that I wascomfortable with this “quiet” way of living, until I met an unusual girlnamed Alise. 10
  11. 11. A Strange New Girl - AliseS pring term has begun, and I’m engrossed in reading Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter. As I absorb every word, I hear a feeble, little peck at my door and open it to a small woman with frizzy, unkempt hair and a pair of sweat pants pulled up toohigh. She’s holding a big, brown cat that has black hair on its chinmaking it look like it has a goatee. She introduces herself, “Um, uh, I’m ah, Hi. I’m Alise, and this isMeow-Meow we’re your residents, number 16, and you, uh, put thisnotice on my door.” She holds up the Three Day Pay or Quit notice. I’m the new manager in the building, and I hate to meet newresidents this way, especially types like her. She’s a nervous wreck, so Iask in with an understanding tone, “I’ll cancel it if you can pay it withinthe three days.” “Cool. I can pay it tonight…” I open my door wider and invite herin with a motion, and she enters. She says, “Dude, I’m totally sorry Ididn’t get the rent in on time. I’ve just been going through so much craplately. My check’s at work, waiting for me. I haven’t gone for the last fewdays because of my asshole boyfriend, Manuel.” In a nosy kind of way, I inquire, “What’s going on with yourboyfriend?” 11
  12. 12. “Dude, he’s got this issue going on with his war days in Vietnam,and he’s been keeping me up every night thinking we’re in danger fromKing Kong, or the Viet-Cong, or the storm troopers, or some bullshit likethat. It’s bullshit, man. I’m so sick of it. I need my sleep.” I say, “He looks too young to have gone to Vietnam.” “Dude, he is too young. He’s never been there. He’s flipping out.It’s all in his imagination. He’s such an asshole. I think he’s just doin’ itso that I’ll feel sorry for him, and I won’t kick his sorry ass out. Look. Ishouldn’t be saying all this, uh, I don’t want to get my ass evicted forbeing weird.” My phone rings, and it’s the home office, so I take the call. Aliseexcuses herself quietly and animates through gestures that she’ll bringthe check by that evening and leave it in the manager’s mailbox. Later that day, I’m able to relax and get back to Hester Prynne andher dilemma with the Reverend Dimsdale and the townspeople. As Iread, I jot down notes and references that I’ll need for class discussion.My eyes hurt from reading all day, and I finally finish the story aroundeight. I enjoy a light bite to eat then a soak in a tub, and later when Ifinally settle down and curl up on the sofa, I let out a nice deep sighletting go of the day’s stresses from boredom. An old Hitchcock film RearWindow, begins; I settle down into the soft cush of the sofa, and I hearthat feeble little knock again. 12
  13. 13. I open the door to Alise who looks frustrated and animated in hergestures. She reminds me of a female Woody Allen: wiry hair, nervous,agitated. She has quite a prominent nose and a slightly receding chinand the most gorgeous big blue eyes. She has a giant bag by her side.After a moment of fidgeting around she mumbles, “Dude, I can’t dealwith getting evicted, but I don’t know if I can get you the rent checktonight because my asshole boyfriend took off in my car to do some kindof army mission to protect us from the King Kong - who don’t exist. Icould get you the check if I could get to work, but I don’t have enoughdough to take a cab. Uh, uh, you wouldn’t want to give me a ride towork would you?” She’s such a funny character - feisty and wimpy at the same time.She has an avant-garde look, like a female Alice Cooper. Her small framelooks smaller because she hunches over, probably embarrassed by hersmall bust. She directs me to Van Nuys in the Valley. Along the way, she talksabout herself and tells me her dad was a child psychiatrist, and hermother died when she was a baby. She babbled on and on about howshe’s still angry that her family pushed her out of the house too earlyand forced her to go to college. She was 23. 13
  14. 14. She directs me to a parking lot at a sports bar, and when I pull in,she jumps out and runs into the bar carrying her gigantic bag andinstructs me to “hang-out.” Inside, I sit at the bar and order a Corona with lime. Music beginsto blare and a few of the blue collar workers shooting pool put down theirsticks and put their attention toward the small stage that has suddenlylit up. One of the guys with a big belly grumbles, “It’s about time.” I look at the stage, and the red floor lights surrounding it begin toflash like a neon sign in Vegas, and a song by Metallica, “Sad But True”begins. Like a scene out of a movie, I’m about to fill my parched mouthwith my ice-cold beer when I look at the stage and see Alise seductivelystrutting around. She’s wearing a black thong with rhinestone trim anda bikini top to match and giant shoes. I spill the beer before it makes itto my mouth as she entertains the men with her erotic dance moves.Her hair is slicked back - the wet look. She is cute and sexy. I grab napkins and sop up my spill, but keep my eyes on the stage.I’m in absolute, utter shock. Where did this person come from? She’s nolonger hunched over but straight, erect, and very poised. The rhinestonepadded bra makes her flat chest look, not so flat. I can’t believe thiscurvaceous little sex kitten is the same little woman who was in my car afew minutes ago wearing her sweat pants pulled up to her chin. 14
  15. 15. She sees me looking at her, smiles, waves then dances toward myside of the room and mouths the words, I’ll explain later. Men sit at thestage and wave money to tip her, so Alise gives them her attention bysmiling and giggling like a little girl, and they tip even more. She’s fascinating to watch. She knows what she’s doing. Shemesmerizes the crowd when she shimmies up a pole then turns upsidedown and seductively, slides down. Everyone applauds her for that, andthe tips begin to role in even more. It’s contagious. I leave my seat tothrow two bucks on the stage. When Alise sees me, she picks up the tipand yells, “Rent money!” We both laugh and nod to each other. A couple of new girls scramble through the door, and Alise’s songis over, and she disappears from the stage. After a few minutes, shejoins me at the bar and pulls a check out of a tiny bag and informs me, “Isigned it on the back. It’s good. It’s my payroll check.” “I would have never guessed in a million years that you were astripper.” I tell her. “Well, actually I’m not really a stripper. We don’t take our clothesoff here. It’s just a bikini bar.” She leans into me and looks around likea double agent about to secretly transfer information. I do a little ‘eroticawork’ on the side, private strips, you know, but not here. The clubdoesn’t have a license for it.” I’m not sure what erotica work and private strips mean, but I canguess, as I’m about to ask, a tall, slender man taps Alise on the shoulder 15
  16. 16. and nods his head in a gesture that says, follow me. Alise nods inagreement to him, hops off the bar stool, picks up her smokes, and says,“Duty calls.” She strolls away, and looks back over her shoulder and says,“Thanks for the ride.” She walks away, strutting in her high-heels and aheel sticks in a tear on the floor, and she walks out of her shoe. Shestumbles and almost falls but catches herself. She picks up her shoe,looks back at me, giggling, and says, “I walked out of my shoe!” Shelaughs and limps away with one high-heel on and the other in her hand. She’s queer, but I really like her. Even though this crowd is notmy crowd, it’s nice to be in a lively atmosphere. A Led Zeppelin song“You Shook Me” begins. I down the last of my Corona and grab my bagto head out the door when I catch a glimpse of Alise in the mirror. I can’tresist watching for a moment. In the back of the room, in a booth, she dances for the tall, thinman. He sits with his legs spread apart and his arms stretched outacross the back of the booth. Alise dances seductively between his legsmoving fluidly, and he can’t resist the temptation and places his hand onher tiny waist, and before Alise can move it away, a large NeanderthalBodyguard steps out of the shadows and the customer raises his handshigh into the air in immediate surrender. This seems to appease thebodyguard who then disappears. 16
  17. 17. The light really glamorizes Alise. She moves like a model in aPenthouse video, posing and preening like a porno princess, and the thinman squirms in his seat, and his eyes roll back in his head. He’s lost inher sexual allure and his lust seems about to spill over. As Alise poses and dances for him, she mostly watches herself inthe mirror, and I don’t know why, but it seems ridiculously funny thathe’s lost in his moment, and she’s lost in her moment, and they’re bothso very, very close, yet so very disconnected. That night I lay in my bed amazed at Alise’s frump to bombshelltransformation. It was nothing less than miraculous. She’s like a bolt of lightening in my life. She stimulates my oldchildhood addiction to excitement. I’m fascinated and instantly hookedon the idea of exploring her world – this forbidden, underground world of“erotica” as she put it. A world where commerce and sex collide. This isa world that’s off limits to most of us. I know there’s only one way totruly know this world, and that’s by experiencing it first hand. The possibility ignites my curiosity. I desperately want to know thesecrets and realities of what the sex industry is really all about. I try totalk myself out the idea of exploring it by reminding myself of thedangers, but I want a look inside so badly I’m convincing myself it’s goingto be okay. I reason that it’s every aspiring writer’s dream: a real story. I just have to take a peek in, and this strange, new girl is my 17
  18. 18. opportunity. I’m scared at the prospect but excited too, and I think ofOscar Wilde who once said, “The only thing I can’t resist is temptation.” 18
  19. 19. JewelI n no time at all, Alise and I become such good friends that she teaches me a secret knock. One day I pop over, use the secret knock, and she ushers me in with hand signals because, as usual,she’s talking on her phone, moving around the room, petting Meow-Meow. She’s wearing sweat pants with the seat worn out and a t-shirtwith “Baby” written across the front. Her apartment is a small single. She has one oversized chairwhere Meow-Meow often sits. Her walls are plastered with posters from1950’s pin ups: Betty Page, Marilyn Monroe, and Mamie VanDoren. Hersmall kitchen has a breakfast bar, and I often sit on one of her two barstools while she makes tea. When we sit in the living space, it’s on thefloor. Today she looks rather frumpier than usual. She looks more like abag lady than a sexy dancer. She wears her hair pulled back, whichmakes her receding chin and prominent nose more obvious. Alise chatters on the phone, so I prepare our usual afternoon tea,and as I spin around, I come face to face with a completely nude woman.I jump and she laughs. She has long, thick blonde hair, big blue eyes,pink pouty lips, large, and round natural breasts. She’s stunning. She says, “You must be M. the writer.” I respond, “And you must be Jewel, Alise told me about you.” 19
  20. 20. She laughs, “Now that we have the niceties out of the way, youwanna fuck?” Alise hangs up the phone and informs me, “M I just wanted you toknow that I talked to Jewel, I see you met, and that was Crystal on thephone and everything’s cool. I told them about your book, and they saidit’s groovy with them if you promise to never bust who we are or any ofour customers, even if you become a big time millionaire, best sellerchick.” Jewel ads, “We might be a little weird, but we don’t want the wholeworld to know it. We may actually get a life one day, you never know.” She sits on the sofa and holds her legs out admiring her shoes.She seems very comfortable being nude and makes no indication thatshe has any plans of dressing. There’s something intimidating about abeautiful naked woman standing in front of you. I can’t help but notice her pubic area; it’s shaved into a small thinline. She catches me looking, and asks in a coy little voice with hereyebrow perched, “Would you like a closer view?” I stammer a little, “It’s just that I’ve never seen…” She laughs and says, “It’s a nineties model, dear,” she stands likeVanna White using hand jesters to model her pubic region, “It’s thin andtrim for close up viewing, far more refined than some big hairy muff,don’t you think?” 20
  21. 21. I change the subject and go back to our issue of privacy andconfidentiality. I assure them both, “Under no circumstances whatsoeverwill I ever reveal my sources or give any information that might leadsomeone to you or one of your customers. I will never confirm nor denyanyone or anything in the story as being accurate or true.” Jewel struts around the room in her high-heels and looks me overthen sits very close to me and gently brushes my hair back from my faceand shoulders. She holds my face and turns it from side to side,examining me so closely I can feel her hot breath on my cheek. She liftsmy hands, and I stand with her as she slowly turns me around and looksme up and down. She glides her hands gently over my butt. She says,“Bubble butt – a good seller. Your tits are average, but you’re so tiny,they look big on you.” She squeezes them. “Ahh. They’re real. Wow.Added bonus. Cute face, shiny hair.” She runs her hand gently downmy arm then across my shoulders. “Silky skin. Thin and firm. You’resexy, M. You could actually work in the business if you wanted.” “I’m in my forties.” I inform her. She asks, “Are you bi?” “Ahhhhh, no.” I stammer out. She and Alise giggle, and I feel intimidated and plead, “What’re youlaughing at?” Jewel says, “You hesitated, baby.” 21
  22. 22. Right about that time, her cell phone rings. She walks out of theroom to take her call. In a few moments she re-enters and says, “Gottago. I’m off to meet a French movie star. Wanna join me, M.? Get an upclose and personal look at how’s it’s done? I’m sure he won’t mind twowomen instead of one. I could lick your pussy, and you could act likeyou enjoy it.” I try to stammer out a response but can’t find one. She says, “Youhesitated.” Alise says, “Don’t let her get to you, M. She has that affect oneveryone.” Jewel slips on her dress and heads to the door, “Oh, M. The onlyreason I say those things is because I mean them.” She leaves. 22
  23. 23. CrystalA fter Jewel leaves, we go to my apartment and have our tea then Crystal arrives. She has long, jet black hair, big blue eyes, porcelain white skin, and big pink lips that are natural -not collagen filled. She looks like Angelina Jolie when she was in hergothic stage. Her clothes are a cross between a belly dancer and a hippie. Shewears lots of bracelets like Madonna in the 80’s, has a belly button ringthat has a dainty chain that wraps around her thin hips, and a rubynose ring. A chain tattoo decorates the top part of her left arm. She hasan ethereal fluid-like movement to her, and her voice is baby soft. She’seasy to talk to and she tells me that she’s into mythology, yoga, and thatin erotica, she mostly gives massages – she’s a licensed massagetechnician skilled in deep tissue, sports, reflexology, accupressure, andreiki. At one point in the conversation Alise looks at me and says, “Youcould totally do appointments in here, girlfriend. You have a niceapartment. I love the way you have the whole tropical jungle thing goingwith the water falls, leopard print, bamboo, and plants. You got a hotlittle bod too. I know guys dig you. You could make your entire tuitionin just a couple of appointments here.” 23
  24. 24. I sit up eager to learn, “Tell all about it. I want to learn everything.What’s the best way for me to learn? Ask questions reporter style?Pretend I’m your student? How about a crash course in Erotica 101?” Crystal says, “You should really become one of us.” I’m absolutely firm in my mind about my boundaries, so I say, “Icould not possibly…” She cuts me off, “You don’t have to do appointments. Just hangout with us, you’ll pick stuff up.” I ask, “It’s okay for me to ask questions?” They both nod yes, and Icontinue, “Okay. What do you mean when you use the term erotica?What is erotica?” Crystal says, “Erotica means sexual stuff. Maybe a girl will do thisor maybe that.” Crystal says, “Think of erotica as a big department store where yougo to shop for fulfillment of your sexual needs.” I ask, “What are some of the needs?” Alise says, “Intercourse, oral sex, a hand job. Some want tomasturbate while the girl watches. Some like dirty talk or phone sex.Some like sex games like S&M, B&D, role playing, dress-up,Daddy/Baby, dominant/submissive. I could go on and on. Men needevery kind of sex known and then some. We don’t do all those things.Just because a dude needs it – that doesn’t mean we’ll give it. The kindof sex given in a session depends on what the chick will or won’t do.” 24
  25. 25. Crystal says, “Most of our customers are sex junkies and need aconstant sexual thrill – even if it’s just looking at a pretty girl whenshopping with his wife. Just the thought of sex, makes a man feelmasculine, powerful, and alive.” “I see.” I continue prying, “According to the research I dug upthere are approximately 2,200 women in erotica just in LA. Commontheory is that most women who get into it were molested as children.” Alise says, “Dude. We’re all statistics of something.” Crystal says, “Alise was one of the lucky ones. She wasn’t done inby daddy.” Alise says, “I gotta take a leak,” and leaves. Crystal continues, “Jewel and I both have tragedies in our past.”She lowers her voice, “Alise isn’t actually in it for the money or the powereither. She does it for the ego boost. She has the ugly girl complex. Shefears she’s not pretty enough, and she’s not. Not by today’s standards,not in the regular world. But in erotica… it’s her body and herwillingness to show it that makes her a star – not her face.” “Why do you do it?” I ask. “It’s all very complex,” she responds. “Jewel and I both believe thatwe do it as a need to control what happens to us, or to our bodies, andby making men pay us, we have that control. Jewel says that in thebusiness world, it’s called a win, win situation. We get to work out oursexual fears and make money.” 25
  26. 26. Alise reenters, “Hey, M. You got online service, don’t you?” “I do.” I tell her and then turn on my computer. She takes us tothe website that houses Jewel’s ad, and we click on it. You can’t see herface, but her body looks beautiful. In the pose she stands stretched outshowing her firm, svelte body. She’s tastefully nude and shadows coverwhere needed and highlights make her glow with sensuality. Her headline reads, Generous Gentlemen Only followed by a phonenumber. Alise pulls my speaker phone off my desk and onto the floorand dials. A recording begins. It’s Jewels voice, only deeper and breathier. She sounds like asexy advertisement for a 900 number. In the recording she says, “Hi,this is Jewel. I’m sure you’re calling about my ad. I offer a sexy danceand a full-body sensual massage. I’m a natural 36C-26-35. I’m 28, and Ihave long blonde hair, and I look like Nicole Kidman. I only seegentlemen of class and distinction, so, sorry, no bargain-hunters. Myrate is $250.00 an hour, and I don’t do anything illegal or unsafe, but ifyou have a special fantasy, we can discuss it. If you would like toschedule an appointment, leave me a message, and I’ll call you back.” Just as I hang up the phone, it rings and startles us. It’s Jeweltelling us to come over to her place. Before she hangs up, she asks, “M.Are you having sexual fantasies about me, yet?” I stammer and stumble over my words, and she says, “Youhesitated!” 26
  27. 27. Parlez-vous Francais?A lise stays behind, so Crystal and I arrive at Jewel’s, and she greets us nude, as always. We enter to flickering candlelight, and her apartment is beautiful - very lavishly decorated. The place is a large two bedroom, and everything looks veryexpensive and plush - gold pillows, vases, sculptures, and beautyeverywhere. She has a deep purple velvet sofa with matching drapery.The sofa seems to loop around her entire room. She gives me a tour. Her bedroom is also lavish, and she has a big bed with fourwooden posters that have see-through drapery hanging down the sides.She has a beautiful antique vanity table with a three-panel mirror. Acute little brass chair sits in the middle of it. Perfumes, lotions, andpotions are everywhere. Her colors of deep purple and gold are here, aswell. She shows me her “session” room, and it’s equipped with a smallfuton in the middle of the room, nearby is a basket of hand towels, abasket of lotions, and candles and incense are everywhere. Her stereo isvery high-tech. A ceiling fan blows a calming breeze. And a waterfalltinkles in the corner of the room. The kitchen is big with a breakfast bar separating it from thedining room where she has a large marble table with six plush purplevelvet chairs trimmed with gold. 27
  28. 28. Back in the living room, Crystal sits curled in a corner of the sofawith Killer in her lap. She gently strokes him, and with every movementof her arm, her bracelets jingle. Killer is hypnotized by the sound andhe’s in doggie heaven. Jewel pours wine for everyone, hands them around, and says, “Youguys ready to hear about this incredibly hot-ass session I just had? Thisguy is every woman’s fantasy.” Crystal says, “Tall, dark, and handsome?” Jewel continues, “You know him?” Crystal says, “Ha-ha.” Jewel continues, “He’s a French movie star. Thick, dark, long,wavy hair. He has to swing it around. He has a long, thin mustache,and big, wild brown eyes with dark, long eyelashes. When I say he’sFrench, I mean he’s the epitome of French. Pepe Lepure French.” “A real life Don Juan.” Crystal says, Jewel responds, “Abso-fucking-lootely.” Jewel curls up near usand says, “When he arrives, I have on this little pink foo foo see-throughnightie, and as soon as he lays eyes on me, he scoops me up, gives me adeep, passionate hug, and twirls me around. Very Anthony Quinn inZorba the Greek.” Crystal says, “The proud peacock who sucks up all the oxygen?”Jewel agrees, and Crystal asks, “How did you handle him?” 28
  29. 29. Jewel continues, “I don’t want to encourage touchy behavior, so Isay in my best French (Jewel speaks fluent French) - ‘Since you’reFrench, you probably don’t know that you can’t touch in a session.” I’m stunned, “You speak French!”Jewel takes out a cigarette and lights up. “Apparently. What’s the matterM? Erotica women aren’t supposed to have a brain?” I stumble over mywords trying to recover. Crystal says, “Jewel lived in Paris as a kid.” To Jewel she says,“Come on, tell us more about the Frenchman.” Jewel says, “Ooh La La! I tell my little cupcake not to touch, so hethrows himself down at my feet and flings his head into my lap like alittle boy in trouble and grabs me around the hips and starts apologizingto me profusely, kissing my stomach all the while. It really tickles andfeels good, too. He kisses my hand; he rubs my legs; he calls meMademoiselle; he’s all over me. His energy was so sweet.” She shiftsand continues. “After his rather long apology, he goes to his bag and pulls out abottle of wine and tells me his family made it from where he grew up inthe Bordeaux region. Then he tells me all about himself. He’s here towork on a film with a big-time director and a big-time actor… um…, wewon’t say who for obvious reasons.” Crystal acts like a little child and sings, “I know who it is.” 29
  30. 30. Jewel continues, “He told me about the film’s story line then actedit out. Apparently he’s well known in France, but this was his firstAmerican film and one of his biggest roles. I pull out two glasses andpour our wine and I say, ‘Would you like for me to give you a sexy showwhile we sip our wine?’ He says, ‘Mes petite, le sucre, mais oui!’ Crystal says, “Ahhhh, a lovely voice and a pleasant accent is sopleasing to the ear. Sounds reverberate and resonate in your soul, youknow.” Jewel continues, “I know. He was purring and cooing, and he hasthis sexy, deep, husky voice like that divinely delicious Clint Eastwood.Umm. When I hand him his wine, he lifts his glass high, just like Zorba,and makes a robust toast to love then gulps down half his glass and letsout this big ‘ahhhh.’ I slink over to the stereo and put on my best Frenchmusic – my Nina Simone CD, and he flips out and throws himself downat my feet and kisses my knees and rubs my legs. His eyes tear upbecause he is so appreciative.” She takes a deep breath then lets out alaugh and continues. “It’s so romantic. I just go with it. I hold out my hand to him, andhe takes it. We dance, and he gazes into my eyes as if we’re on ourhoneymoon. I unbutton his shirt and open it and run my hands up anddown his chest, and he closes his eyes and inhales as he swings his headfrom side to side. I take his shirt off then I unzip his pants. I completely 30
  31. 31. undress him and gently push him into a big comfortable chair. He sitsin the chair, legs spread wide apart, arms spread out wide. I walk back afew feet to start my show.” She jumps up and acts the scene giving us alittle show of our own. She continues, “As I dance, and my French pirate reaches down,grabs his doodle and starts going to work. He’s really giving it a mightyforce. His passions begin to increase, and he’s releasing all this hot,sexual energy into the air. His voice becomes almost guttural. He’smumbling French to me all the while he’s whacking it.” She looks at meand says, “When a customer masturbates, it doesn’t usually affect meenough that I want to respond to it, but with him….” Crystal adds, “It’s natural to have an elevation in hormones whilegiving a session.” Jewel says, “Well, I think he’s going to blow his you know what,and a new song comes on, and I get pretty raw and do floor work – youknow, spread my pussy lips apart and move like he’s fucking me for mybig crescendo, you know, the come portion of the session, but he doesn’tcome. A third song begins, and I look at the clock, and I say to him,“Monsieur, our time is almost up.” She gulps then continues, “He grabs me by the waist and burieshis head in my stomach, and his breath is hitting my skin, and it feels sohot; I get these little electric thrills running up and down my spine. Hescoots on his knees to his pants, grabs them to dig more money out of 31
  32. 32. his wallet, and puts down enough to pay for more time. He scoots backover to me and grabs me, wrapping one arm around my waist, and withthe other, he goes back to whack, whack, whacking himself. He runs hisface across my stomach breathing in deeply.” She takes a deep breath as if reliving the event, “And with his thickFrench beautiful accent he growls, ‘Oh, my petite, sweet. You smell likeflowers in the morning dew. I want to lick your sweetness, my dear,please, my sweet darling, let me have one moment with you. Let me havethe nectar meant for the gods. Let me steal a sip, please, my dear, just asip. I will live forever.’” Jewel looks at Crystal, “What do you think I did?” Crystal says, “I have a pretty good idea.” Jewel says, “When opportunity knocks.” She looks at me. “ I tellhim, ‘No penetration,’ and he shakes his head no as if the idea isdistasteful, and it never occurred to him. By this time, I am so freakinhot! I walk over to the sofa, lie down, and ever so slowly spread my legsapart.” She looks at me again and says, “M. just so you know, as ageneral rule, I never let a customer touch me, much less eat my pussy,but, you know, it does happen sometimes. It wasn’t the money at thispoint. I wanted to feel good, so I just decided to let myself go and simplyenjoy the physical aspect of it.” Crystal asks, “How was it?” 32
  33. 33. Jewel continues, “He swoops down on me, kissing me all over,mumbling in French, his voice so deep that it vibrates throughout myentire body. He licks my nipples, digs his tongue into my belly button,licks under my arms, and breathes deeply as if he’s inhaling me. Thewhole time he’s whacking himself. He takes so much time with me,kissing me from head to toe, sucking my toes, licking the bottom of myfeet. He was incredible. My whole body was vibrating. I did my Tantrabreathing like you showed me, Crystal, and it really made everythingmore intense. He was pouring wave, after wave, after wave of pleasureover me. By the time he got to my pussy, girlfriend… hello… I was readyto explode. I had the most intense orgasm. It was so fabulous.” Crystal asks, “Isn’t it great to be with a man who knows how to dothings properly.” Jewel continues, “He is one proper guy. His tongue was so gentleand soft. He didn’t bite me, or do it too hard, or flick my clit like mostsexual retards. This guy made me all juicy and sweet. I was gushing.My orgasm was very, very deep and seemed to last an eternity, and heknew it. He made it really intense. When I came, he squeezed mynipples, ran his hands up and down my back, and put all his attentioninto what was happening to me. Even after my orgasm stopped, he keptrubbing my stomach and kissing it. He was fabulous.” She stands up and takes a deep breath, after I came back to earth,he stood up like the peacock again. He was really proud of his 33
  34. 34. masculinity. His face was all shinny from my pussy, and he licked andsmelled his fingers smiling at me all the while.” Crystal asks, “What about his orgasm?” Jewel says, “He didn’t have one. He was impotent.” Crystal says, “Wow. His root charka is totally blocked.” Jewel says, “He found a way to cope. He needed for me to comebecause he couldn’t. My orgasm made him fee like a man.” I ask, “What did it make you feel like?” Jewel laughs, “It made me feel like going on a shopping spree withthe four hundred bills he gave me.” Crystal laughs, “She’s not as shallow as she tries to pretend.” Jewel asks Crystal, “He was a Love Junkie, don’t you think Cris?” Crystal smiles sweetly and says, “Yeah. Definitely.” I ask, “What’s a love junkie?” Crystal says, “Love Junkies are hit a few too many times byCupid’s arrows. When he believes he’s found the woman of his dreams,the seduction begins, and he’s better at it than Don Juan.” Jewel says, “He got my panties off.” Crystal says, “Love Junkies look at their women through adoringeyes, and every move she makes is a work of art waiting to be painted.” Jewel ads, “Vampires – sexual predators, that’s what they are.Wolves in sheep’s clothing” 34
  35. 35. Crystal says, “Count Dracula kills for need, the love junkie lovesout of need. That’s what makes him feel like a man – to have a womanlove him. He has to be a skillful wolf because he needs a lot from awoman to survive. To a love junkie, his woman is his sustenance. He’lldo whatever is necessary to have the love he wants. He’ll worship her,adore her, lavish her with gifts, and her every movement praise. He’s soromantic that he’ll make a woman believe she’s Cinderella, and he’sPrince Charming. She’ll be overcome by the euphoria of the moment andthe thrill of his skill. He’s so hot his passion is contagious. Sex with himis like gorging at a Thanksgiving Day feast after a five-day fast.” Jewel says, “Yeah. That sounds like my French man alright.” Crystal continues, “No woman can resist a man like that. He’sworth it because when you’re with him, you’re a goddess. A woman willget high from his constant attention and affection. You have to becareful though because with a guy like that, a woman won’t know upfrom down, right from left, or right from wrong. She’ll believe lies,discounts the truth, she’s unable to think for herself when she’s underthat kind of influence. The woman’s senses are so stimulated that allability to reason is lost. She’ll make ridiculous promises and even sellher house if he needs the money. His intensity will brainwash her intobelieving his mind instead of hers.” Jewel says to me, “You better listen to this stuff, M. Crystal knowsher shit. She teaches this stuff in her Tantra class.” 35
  36. 36. Crystal says, “I may have a teaching gig in Australia thisChristmas for a few months.” I ask, “Tell me more about this love junkie theory.” Crystal adds, “A love junkie will listen to his woman’s every wordand compliment her on her brilliance. He holds her, comforts her, andsoothes her with loving, intimacy when she’s emotional, and he may evencry with her.” Jewel asks, “He’s the kind of man a woman can settle down with,right?” Crystal says, “Not necessarily. They don’t always have scruples.They have passion instead, and it gets them into trouble. At birth theGods gave love junkies a potent libido. When his desire is awakened, heemits a magic into the air, and it’s like an aphrodisiac. To breathe inaround him is to breathe in his pure, sensual, masculine essence.” Jewel says, “I’m getting hot again. Who’s going to get me off?” Crystal rolls her eyes and continues, “She’s highly suggestible.See. Just thinking about him and your natural body mechanisms beginto release euphoria-producing pheromones that are pumping throughoutyou’re right now. It is a chemical release. It’s like homemade X.” Jewel says, “Yeah. I do sort of feel as if I’m on X.” Crystal says, “It’s an alchemy that creates a euphoric bliss in thebody. It’s a natural high. It’s really very simple.” She pauses and saysslowly, “You two had chemistry.” 36
  37. 37. Erotica 101T ime passes, and I’m proud of my new sexy knowledge. Jewel, Alise, Crystal and I are all good friends now, and hanging out is a regular routine. My glossary of Erotica 101 terms expands. I know that “In-call”means the customer comes to the girl’s apartment. “Out-call” means thegirl goes to the customer’s home. I know that each girl makes her ownrules about what she will or won’t do, and the girls typically workindependently, placing their own ads, answering their own phones, buton occasion they work with an agency that sends them out. With anagency there’s a 60/40 split with 60 going to the girl, but she’sresponsible for tipping the driver and the bodyguard if she takes one orboth. They never use terms like trick and John. They call their timewith a man a session or an appointment, and they call a customer acustomer or a client. They don’t know anything about streetwalkers andconsider it ghetto sex and far beneath them. Tonight we’re quite a trashy bunch as we cruise around in Jewel’sBenz. They insist I dress like a tart so I’ll fit in, so I do. I apply liberalamounts of makeup and pack on pounds of lip-liner and dark lipstick. Idust off my old black leather micro-miniskirt and slip it on. On top, alose fitting tiny, t-shirt with my black bra on underneath creates a slutty 37
  38. 38. look. I stumble a little in my black spiked heels but throw on some gaudyjewelry, make my hair wild and free, and I fit right in. Alise wears extremely high Cinderella shoes and a one-piece pink,spandex dress that barely covers her butt. Jewel wears a skimpy black stretch skirt and a menacing lookingbra-top with silver buckles and leather straps adorned with studs. Hershoes are black spiked heels with lace up black straps. As we cruise, I ask, “So tell me about what you guys did lastnight.” Alise says, “Oh God! “ “Miguel, misbehaving again?” Jewel asks. “Manuel,” Alise says, “For hours he stood on the railing of thebalcony, wasted, saying that the world is a cesspool, and he’s going tojump in. He wouldn’t even come down to pee. He just peed over therailing.” She addresses me, “Sorry, M. he peed on Mr. Applebee’s car. Icouldn’t stop him. I tell him… if you kill yourself in the building I couldget evicted! Finally, I had to get rough with him. I told him if he killedhimself that I would tell his whole family that his aunt used to suck hiscock when he was a little boy.” She screams then continues. “Dude, he freaked. He came inside, and he’s like all in my face andsaying, ‘You said you would never tell!’ And he’s totally freakin and likeshaking my shoulders and shit, and I’m like okay, okay I won’t sayanything to anybody. I just didn’t want you to kill yourself in my friend’s 38
  39. 39. building. And it just went on and on until he finally passed out. I’m sokicking his ass out. I don’t need his psycho-dramas. I got my own.” Jewel pulls into the valet parking area of a Gentleman’s Clubfeaturing all nude dancers. She smiles to the attendant who opens herdoor, and she addresses him by name, tips him, and we head inside. She talks to the man at the door, and he parades us in like royaltyand grabs a table in the back of the room so that we have a view of theentire club. We slink down into our booth as the music blares. There are three stages: one main stage in the middle of the roomand two small stages on opposite sides of the room – right and left. Allthe stages are lit with red lights, lots of mirrors, and a pole in the middle. Jewel points out to me the row of stalls along the side of the roomand says, “They’re for private lap dances, 40 bucks a pop and the housegets half. The guys have to put their hands behind their backs, and thegirls aren’t supposed to touch the guys, but they usually do so they’ll getbigger tips. Some of the girls even give a little quickie hand job or rubtheir butt on the guys dicks - some guys even come just from that.” Imust have a look of surprise on my face. She continues. “It’s true. One girl gets the guys to buy more dances by stickingher fingers in her pussy at the end of a dance and asking, ‘Do you wantto do another dance?’ What’s the guy gonna say? ‘No, pull your fingerout and stop?’” She laughs then continues. 39
  40. 40. “It’s a great strategy, but she’s touching germy stuff. You neverknow what the guys do in here. It’s gross. She has her handseverywhere then she sticks that germy finger in her pussy. She’s anasty, ho, M. Don’t shake hands with her.” I can’t help but laugh. Jewel continues, “The girls get extra for allthis extra stuff, of course. It’s against the rules, but so is cheating onyour taxes, and everybody does that, right?” Jewel’s distracted by abeautiful girl on stage, “I know that girl. She’s really cool. FrancescaCappucci. Sounds like an Italian fart, doesn’t it?” Jewel giggles andslinks back to watch, and I do the same. The club is abuzz with life and energy and movement. There arescantily clad beautiful women everywhere. The waitress, a perky younggirl, approaches us with a tray, and she and Jewel immediately recognizeeach other and embrace and talk warmly. Jewel strokes her hair lovinglyand the young girl giggles like a five year old. They laugh together oversomething. I can’t hear because the music is so loud. Alise yells to me, “Idon’t like these clubs because I could never work here.” I ask, “Moral issue?” She laughs, “No, dude. I’m a total exhibitionist. I love for people tolook at me. I wouldn’t work here because I’m fuckin flat, man. Thesedudes would like laugh me off the stage or something.” “Do you really think they would be that cruel?” I ask. 40
  41. 41. She responds, “Look around. How many flat-chested girls do yousee here?” I look around and after a lot of searching I spot a girl andpoint her out to Alise who rolls her eyes and says, “Okay, but check outthe rest. She’s got that whole exotic thing going, thick black waist lengthhair. She’s real curvy. She looks like a Hawaiian Princess. I couldn’t getthat look with surgery.” Jewel interrupts “Alise, it’s the bouncing man I told you about.”We look at the lap dance booth she’s talking about, and I see a girl who’sstanding, bouncing up and down, jiggling her tits. We sit back andwatch. Jewel continues, “Major tit fetish.” As I look out at the boisterous crowd, it’s one big erotic festival.Girls slithering, grinding, swaying, sashaying, tempting, teasing, flirtingwith every conceivable look and gesture. The music is an eclectic blend:Zeppelin, Metallica, Madonna, Prince, Rap and the strippers are just ascolorful as the music. Most of the girls are white, a few Hispanics, andonly one black girl. They are a smorgasbord of beauty: blonds,brunettes, red-heads, long hair, short hair, sexy, perky, sultry, slinkyand certainly alluring. They tease and taunt the men with everyshimmy, shake, turn, and twist. And the money flows. They make me dizzy, and I begin feeling a little woozy, so I excusemyself and go to the bathroom, which is in the dancer’s dressing room. 41
  42. 42. I enter and two beautiful blonde dancers talk to each other as theyprimp in the mirror. I go into the stall and overhear their conversation.One girl says she’s going to leave at midnight so that she can get home intime to bake cookies for her daughter’s parent-teacher day. The othergirl wants to make at least $500.00 for the night so that she’ll have theremainder of her son’s college tuition. I exit to leave, and the two womendon’t look anything like two moms talking about their kids. When I arrive back at the table, Jewel and Alise grab my hand anddrag me to the chairs at the main stage. I look at the long string of mengazing up at the stage waiting for their thrill. Jewel leans into me,presses her lips so close to my ear that I can feel her hot breath. Shesays, “Pussy is their God. Watch their faces.” I do, and they look likelittle boys at a toy store, fascinated with everything – they’re absolutelygiddy. Francesca struts on stage, and she and Jewel blow each otherkisses. She dancers for a while, and I feel very ill at ease when shepushes her pelvis in the man’s face who sits next to me. She pulls herprivates apart and lets the small man take a look deep inside. Boy is thisincredibly intimidating for me to sit here with this beautiful womanshowing parts of her self that only her gynecologist should see. The song ends, and in between changing dancers, the stage isempty for a moment, and the DJ entertains the crowd while heintroduces the next dancer. 42
  43. 43. Jewel leans into me, wraps her arm around my waist and slips upnext to me spooning me from behind and whispers into my ear makingmy head tingle, “Watch their faces. Look at how hungry they are rightnow waiting… waiting for their next fix. The anticipation is killing them.” I look at the men as they shift uncomfortably in their seats,nervously sip their drinks, look at their watches, tap impatiently on theirdrink glass, and gaze around the room looking to lock onto another girl. The lull seems to agitate them and make them anxious. The DJannounces a new dancer, and she appears. Jewel presses closer to meholding me tighter whispering, “Look how excited they are now.” I look in their faces as they perk up, smile, lean in. They glow withexcitement. Jewel continues, “Look at how much they’re willing to payjust to look at a woman’s pussy.” The tips pile up. “They can never getenough,” she continues, “Every time a new girl comes out, they get athrill and think ‘Oh, boy. New pussy. I get to see another pussy.’ Theybecome transfixed. You know, M. I like knowing that a man needs pussyso badly that he’s willing to degrade himself and pay just to look at it.” I watch their faces. They’re mesmerized and drowning in their ownlust. They shift and move feeling the discomfort of their need. Francesca Cappucci abruptly interrupts us and pulls Jewel off ofme and drags her away. I sit back and scan the room and the row of lap dance booths. Iwatch the girls move and sway in sensual undulations. One girl bounces 43
  44. 44. up and down, and I realize the bouncing man has found himself anothergirl. After a couple of songs, the DJ announces a special treat.Francesca and Jewel are going to give a special show. This seems tobring everyone to the stage even some of the other dancers. Alise leansinto me, “Jewel is a master on the stage.” A slow sexy song begins and Jewel and Francesca enter. Jewelwears the same menacing top, minus the skirt – no panties, no g-string,just her black studded bra-top and her spiked shoes with straps. Francesca is wrapped in a see-through black flowing cape. Theydance together and slither around each other and slide over each other’sbodies, teasing each other and teasing the crowd. Some of the men can’t see, so they stand on their chairs. Alise andI have to stand too. Francesca lies on her arched back, and Jewelsimulates slow sex with erotic catlike movements. The DJ hits the strobelight, and the light and the music move together to create a magnificentimage like something out of a Tarentino film. I notice their bodies don’t actually touch or rub against each other,so I ask Alise about it, and she informs me that it’s against the law forgirls to touch or fondle each other on stage. They move like liquid together, as they meld and mesh aroundeach other. They move like fluid ballerinas of a different nature. Thewhole scene flows like a smooth, choreographed performance. 44
  45. 45. The excitement got to me. That night I found out that the bodycan respond in direct opposition to the mind. I tried so hard to keepmyself emotionally separated from it. But it was so sexually arousing!Which confused me because I’m not gay. I reason that it’s the overall environment; it’s the high potency ofsexual stimuli. Any human body will respond to a sexually chargedenvironment. And this environment was very sexually charged. My body pulsates. 45
  46. 46. The Lingerie CustomerO ne day I sit with Jewel in her plush living room sipping an afternoon tea. Killer sits on the floor at her feet and chews on a bone. Jewel says, “Most people have the wrong idea about what we doand who we see. Yeah, we get some ugly customers, but we don’t have toservice them. And we certainly don’t have to fuck ‘em!” She lights up acigarette and Killer sneezes. She continues, “You know that Annette Benning and John Cusakmovie the Grifters? I nod yes. She continues, “Most people think we’relike Annette Benning when she has that fat, grotesque slob on top ofher.” Her doorbell rings and Killer barks. She stands up, takes a last toke on her cigarette then smashes itout. She grabs Killer and disappears from view and quickly puts him inher bedroom. She comes back into view, and I stand up and head for thekitchen saying, “I’ll leave after you take him in the session room.” She motions me to sit down. She opens the door and in walks atall well-dressed, good looking man carrying a Victoria’s Secret bag. Hehas an Antonio Banderas face with shoulder length brown wavy hair anda young Steven Segal body - tall, thin, and movements like a sleekpanther. He flashes me a smile and a rush of excitement runs up myspine. 46
  47. 47. Jewel introduces him to me, “Jarred, this is my friend M. M. thisis Jarred my new customer.” Jarred says, “Is this a two for one?” Jewel says, “It could be. What do you think, M.?” By this time, I’m somewhat used to Jewel and her set ups. I saywith great conviction, “I would love to, but you know I have that otherthing I promised.” I gather my things to leave. Jewel smirks at me playfully then looks at Jarred, “So what’s inthe bag?” He looks at me and then back at her nervously, and for a moment Ithink about every serial killer movie I ever saw. He lowers his head andspeaks slowly and softly. “I had this lingerie, and I was wondering if youmight wear it for me?” Jewel grabs it from his hand and turns to leave. Over her shouldershe says, “M. Keep Jarred company while I change.” Alone with him, I really have no idea what to say or do so I do whatmy southern belle training taught me to do – I’m hospitable. Eventhough it isn’t my place, I ask him if he wants water or tea, and he asksfor the water, so I slip into the kitchen to get it. When I return, Jewel enters in a beautiful, white, see-through fulllength gown with tiny delicate spaghetti straps. She twirls in delight.One of the straps falls seductively off her shoulder, and she giggles asshe slips it back up. She screams, “This is so beautiful!” 47
  48. 48. Jarred holds his chest and acts as if he’s catching his breath andsays, “Thank you for making my fantasy come true.” Jewel asks sweetly as she strokes his face, “Who’d you buy thisfor?” He looks lovingly up at her and says, “My wife.” Jewel asks, “What happened?” Jarred says, “I gave it to her, and she didn’t want to put it on, butshe did it for me anyway, and when she came out, she kind of clumpedaround and stood there like a trucker driver with her hip cocked out andher hands sort of going up and down, and she says, ‘Okay here it is.’And I could tell she was uncomfortable… so I just told her thanks, andshe changed back into her sweats, and we turned on TV and watched thenews.” Jewel asks, “What were you hoping for?” Jarred is quick to respond, “I was hoping she would do what youdid and twirl around and act girlie.” I stand up, “I have to go.” Jewel says, “Hold on.” She looks at Jarred, grabs him by the handand leads him to her room. On the ways she tells him, “Just go in andget comfortable, sweetie. We’ll have a great session. I’m just gonna saygoodbye to my girlfriend.” Once he’s out of the way she continues, “Can you believe that shit,M? A perfectly sexy, hot, fun guy who’s even creative, you know, buying 48
  49. 49. the lingerie and everything, and that’s what he gets, an uptight,inhibited, insecure, sexually retarded woman who doesn’t even know shehas a masterpiece in bed next to her every night. Alise would freakin’ killfor a guy like that. That woman doesn’t even know what she has athome. Some men want to fuck around because they’re jerks and can’tcontrol their dick, but this guy wants to fuck around with his wife, andshe’s not there for him. That really hurt him. Shame on her, baby. Nowhe’s paying me to go in and do damage repair.” I ask, “But how can he love his wife and cheat on her?” Jewel says, “Need. Besides, it doesn’t have anything to do with hislove for her. When a man says it doesn’t mean anything, he means it.Being with me doesn’t mean he doesn’t love her. It means he needs somesexual attention. It’s a strange phenomenon. Some of my customersclaim they love their wives, but they don’t feel passion for them anymore.The wife becomes more like a very beloved family member. It’s kind ofweird. I don’t understand it. Middle America is very strange to me.” 49
  50. 50. A Closet CaseI can hardly believe that spring is about to end, and I’m deciding if I will do the right thing and take a few summer classes, and tutor in the writing center, or if I’ll do the wrong thing and take the summeroff and indulge in my new exotic world. As this term ends, I prepare formy finals and focus on the complexities of Poe’s Black Cat, Milton’sParadise Lost, and Shakespeare’s Merchant of Venice. My life is fun, vacillating between my two opposite worlds, and Ilove the switching between my serious academic studies and my newplayful buddies. I love observing and processing the challenginginformation I receive from both environments. I find my new life and mynew friends deliciously exciting. It’s my childhood all over again. I arrive at Jewel’s place, and after my secret knock, the door opensto a tall, slim, transvestite wearing a short French Maid costume, blackspiked heels, and a shoulder length blonde wig. He hesitates, looking atme, as he ravenously eats from his bag of popcorn. After his moment’s hesitation, he grabs my hand and drags meinside saying, “You’re M. Hi, I’m Candy-Ass.” Just his name alone makesme want to laugh, but I don’t dare. I accept his delicate hand as wepractically run into Jewel’s session room. Almost as soon as we enterthe doorbell rings, Killer barks, and Jewel pops into the bedroom with 50
  51. 51. us, grabs a red silk robe, slips it on her nude body, and with a big smileon her face and a wink says, “Showtime!” Candy-Ass grabs me by the hand and drags me into the back ofthe closet. Standing there I ask, “What are we doing?” Candy-Ass looks at me and says excitedly, “We get to watch asession.” It hits me like a shock wave, and I feel the ripples of realityundulate in my body. Time slows down, and I move and talk as if I’m inslow motion. I open my mouth to protest, and I’m screaming, but I’m notsure if anything comes out. I know my lips are moving. I lunge towardthe closet door, open it to escape, as I tell Candy-Ass, “I can’t do….” But before I can finish my sentence, Candy-Ass becomesaggressive and wraps his delicate hand over my mouth and pulls thecloset door closed tight just as the bedroom door opens and Jewel enterswith her customer. Her whole mannerism and behavior are completely different. Evenher voice changes. She’s much more “girlie” - sort of a cross betweenMarilyn Monroe and Sharon Stone. She’s purposely sexy without beingobvious. She exudes enormous amounts of femininity. 51
  52. 52. He’s a tall black man, a Denzel Washington type, wearing anexpensive suit. She says to him, “Okay, sweetie. Put your donation in the plate bythe bed and make yourself comfortable.” The customer asks about his underwear, “Should I take these off?” Jewel responds, “It’s up to you, baby. It’s not required, but if itmakes you comfortable, I’m okay with it.” He smiles and takes them off. My heart races, and I’m horribly uncomfortable, but when thecustomer unzips, I instantly sit up to get a better look, and so doesCandy-Ass. I instantly feel surprised and ashamed about my instinctualbehavior, but I keep looking anyway. Jewel’s customer has a perfect body that’s well-sculpted andmuscular. I’ve heard all the stereotypes about the black man’s penis, andthis customer lives up to every cliché. He is huge. He lies on the bed on his back, and when Jewel sees his giganticerection, she slides one bent leg onto the bed and stands looking down atit. “My goodness. You certainly are…” She pauses searching for theright word, ”…healthy.” This comment makes the man laugh out loud.Jewel giggles with him and says in a sexy voice, “I would love for us tohave a really fun session together, and we can do that if you promise tofollow the rules.” He asks, “Which are?” 52
  53. 53. She instructs him, “I’m the only one who can do the touching. Youcan touch yourself, but you can’t touch me, no matter what. The morecomfortable I feel, the more I will open up. Do you agree to play by therules?” He nods in submissive agreement. She poses like Vanna White and holds her arms out, “And yourprize for being good to me and following the rules is a nice, long, sexy,blast of supernatural pleasure. Are you ready?” The customer breathes heavily, “I’m ready, very ready, socompletely and totally ready.” A sexy, Eric Clapton bluesy tune plays, and I nervously scramblearound in the closet not knowing what to do, trying to get out butknowing there’s no escape. I try not to look but feel compelled to, and Ifeel like a weirdo just for being in my predicament. Candy-Ass nudges me and puts his fingers to his lips indicatingthat I need to be silent. I try to whisper my displeasure to him, but hetakes a purple velvet pillow with gold trim and pushes it to my face alittle too hard and my head hits the wall and makes a noise. Candy-Ass mouths the words “I’m sorry” about a hundred timesand rubs my head. I feel trapped because I’m… stuck in a closet with atransvestite while a call-girl gives a session. It doesn’t feel healthy orlegal. Jewel flows rhythmically and the customer strokes himself, and hewatches her move her body. She’s like sex in motion. It seems as if 53
  54. 54. something is happening between them that’s unspoken, yet loud. Theyaren’t smiling any more and seem to be locked in a moment of mentalsex – gazing into each other’s eyes. Candy-Ass is compulsively eating the popcorn, popping in one afteranother - left hand following right without a broken rhythm. His eyes arehuge and fixated on the scene. I try to look away. I can’t breathe, and Isquirm and shift in my discomfort, but I can’t stop watching, so I dig intothe popcorn and compulsively eat it like Candy-Ass as the two of uswatch the show. Jewel moves closer to her customer and stands next to him besidethe bed. She places her hands on his neck then allows them to slidedown to his chest, arms, sides, thighs, and the man winces as if a waveof pleasure erupts in his body and makes him quiver. She positions herpubic area near his face, and moves her hips slowly and rhythmicallyfrom side to side. She has some kind of magic power or control. She sways to theleft; his head follows to the left; she sways to the right; his head followsto the right - back and forth, back and forth, like a tennis match butinstead of following a tennis ball, his head moves to the rhythm of herass. He moans, “God, baby, you smell like roses.” 54
  55. 55. She slides her fingers between her own legs, and when she pullsthem away, they’re glistening. She traces his lips with her wet finger andsays, “Yeah? But I taste like strawberry.” In our dark closet, I gasp, and so does Candy-Ass. When he doeshe accidentally sucks in a husk from the popcorn, and he chokes. Heneeds to cough but won’t. He holds his hand over his mouth determinednot to make a sound. I pull his hands away and pry my way into hismouth trying to stick my finger down his throat to dislodge anythingthere. His face turns red, and I panic more, so I do the Heimlich, and asI’m squeezing him from behind, he farts on me. Out of anger or an attempt to save him, I pound on his back. Butit doesn’t work. It must sound like we’re wrestling because Jewel turnsup her music. Candy-Ass buries his now blue face in the purple pillow,and I whack him on the back really hard in desperation, and he finallycoughs and gags up the husk as quietly as possible. After heaving andgasping for a while, he manages to finally clear his throat and catch hisbreath. My heart rate is out the roof, and it feels as if my body is going toexplode in spontaneous combustion. I try to calm myself down with theyoga breath Crystal taught me, but I’m confused about whether or not Ishould do the cobra breath or the breath of fire, so I do them both andget really dizzy, and I have to sit down with Candy-Ass who is heavinghuge gulps of air. 55
  56. 56. As I struggle to breathe, my eyes compulsively move to the scene,and the customer is at such a state of excitement that his bodyconvulses, and he pulls up into a tight stomach crunch. Candy-Ass and Icurl up as if in pain. The man exhales deeply like a fire-breathing dragon and stretchesstraight out. He pushes his face toward Jewel and smells her taking inextra deep sniffs of air and holding them as his stroking rhythmincreases. Jewel puts her breasts near the man’s mouth and sways her chestin front of him, and he simulates licking her, holding his tongue out andtwirling it around, but he doesn’t touch her. He keeps breathing deeplyand stroking harder, and he’s actually getting bigger. I feel myself sweating, and Candy-Ass notices too and wipes myforehead with his apron. Jewel climbs on the bed and slithers her body all over hercustomer’s brown skin, and he writhes in ecstasy, yet he doesn’t make amove to touch her and, instead, holds onto her tie-me-up, tie-me-downheadboard. She stands up at the head of the bed and puts her privates right infront of his face and opens herself. He takes a few deep breaths andstrokes faster. 56
  57. 57. He seems ready to explode. Jewel moves in between his legs,stands on her knees in front of him, and rubs his thighs as she swaysher hips simulating intercourse movements. In a deeply sexy voice she says, “Let’s imagine that your cock isburied deep in my juicy, wet pussy, and you’re fucking me so good, and Ilove it, and I’m about to have an orgasm all over your beautiful, hugecock.” She begins imitating an orgasm, and she flings her head aroundsending her hair in a swirl. “Oh, that’s so good baby. I love it. Youmake me feel so good.” Suddenly, her customer’s body draws up into acurled position and tightens. Candy-Ass and I curl up too, holding each other and holding ourbreath. The man releases his neon white fluid all over his chocolatebrown stomach. Jewel coos sexily to him and encourages his release. The manconvulses into another spasm shortly after the first and his body shakes,he spasms again, and he shakes again. This continues for a while, andJewel continues to soothe him with her voice. Eventually he relaxes and lays spent on the bed. Jewel grabs atowel from the nearby basket and wipes the fluids off his stomach. In adreamy voice the man says, “You are incredible. My, God. You’re adream come true.” He’s dresses then she leads him out the door. 57
  58. 58. Candy-Ass and I both tumble out of the hot closet and let out amuch-needed sigh of our own release. Candy-Ass sports an erection poking out of his black mini skirtand apron. I feel guilt and panic, not knowing what to think or feel about myown participation. Confusion grips me. I call to Candy-Ass, “I feel kindafunny.” He’s already happily cleaning the room, and says, “I thought it wasfunny too...” I interrupt him, “No. I mean I don’t feel well. I’m dizzy, I can’t getenough air, and my chest hurts. Maybe I’m having a heart attack orsomething.” Jewel re-enters. “You guys were so damn noisy.” She looks atCandy-Ass whose face has gone white. “You look pale.” She looks backat me, “I told you most people think we have to deal with ugly, sleazymen, and sometimes we do, what woman doesn’t?” She grabs thepopcorn and ravishes what’s left. Candy-Ass suddenly farts very loudly,and Jewel looks at him as if he’s gone mad. Candy-Ass looks stunned at his own behavior and explains, “I havea very temperamental digestive system. Stress makes my ulcers turn toacid and gas and…” Jewel snaps, “Enough already. I have a queasy stomach. What areyou stressed out about for God’s sake?” 58
  59. 59. Candy-Ass farts again and says, “M. thinks she’s having a heartattack, and if she dies here and my wife finds out about this…” He fartsagain. Jewel snaps at him, “Would you do that in the bathroom please!”She looks at me and asks, “What’s he talking about? Do you feel weird?” I lay on the floor with my face smashed into the carpet, gasping forair, and I squeak out, “Yes. Very.” Jewel jumps around in panic and the popcorn flies, “Candy-Ass! Idon’t give a shit about your wife! We’re not going to let her die!” Shewhacks him on the head with a brush. “Call 911!” she tells him. I squeak out, “Hyper… hyper… hyperventilating” Jewel screams to Candy-Ass, “She said she’s hyperventilating.What do we do for that?” I’m gasping and can’t answer. Jewel yells,“Candy-Ass, where are you?” He says, “In the bathroom.” Jewel runs to the bathroom, opens it, and screams, “Oh, my God,Candy-Ass, what have you done?” It sounds as if he’s crying when he says, “I’m sorry mistress. It’sthe diarrhea.” Jewel closes the door and talks to him, “I could use some real andserious help out here. We have a real and serious problem.” She holdsher nose and in a nasal voice says, “Spray something, burn a match, acandle, turn on the fan. That retched smell is penetrating the door.” 59
  60. 60. Jewel runs back to me and says, “Don’t worry, M. I know what todo. You have to breathe into a bag.” As I gasp I nod my head inagreement. Jewel pulls a plastic bag from Victoria’s Secret out of her closet andruns to me and puts the plastic over my entire head and holds it there asmy arms flail around trying to stop her. She says, “No. M. Don’t moveit. This will help you.” I feel I’m about to pass out when I hear the toilet flush and Candy-Ass reenters and screams. Jewel screams in response, “What’s wrong?” Candy-Ass rushes to me and pulls the plastic bag off my head, andI gasp for even more air. “It’s plastic. She’ll suffocate.” Jewel screams, “Shit!” Candy-Ass runs out of the room, and Jewel yells, “I can’t take thestress. Bring me a brandy!” I lay gasping thinking I’m going to die, and Candy-Ass reenterswith a brandy and gives it to Jewel then brings a gigantic paper bag tome and frantically places it over my mouth and instructs me, “Breathe inand out.” I do as I’m told. Jewel gulps her brandy and takes a long, deep breath afterswallowing the entire shot. She looks at me and says, “You’re sweatinglike crazy.” 60
  61. 61. She grabs a white towel nearby and wipes my forehead, eventhough my body is frozen in trauma, I manage to sling the bag away frommy mouth and scream, “The towel. It’s got the…the… his stuff on it.” Jewel throws the towel across the room, and all three of us scream,Ew! Jewel yells at Candy-Ass. Get a clean towel and a hot washclothand another brandy.” He scampers away. I pull the bag off my face and confess to Jewel through my gaspingbreaths, “I feel like a snoop, a deviant. I’m… dirty pervert.” She says, “Yeah. Trust me. I know how you feel. It’s one of thedrawbacks of the job. But don’t feel too bad. Lots of good people areperverted.” Candy-Ass reenters with Jewel’s brandy and a hot cloth and cleantowel for me. He cleans my forehead as I breathe in and out of mycrackling paper bag. I feel my heart rate lowering slightly, and Candy-Ass asks Jewel, “Would you like for me to run a bath for her?” Jewel snaps, “In that toxic bathroom? I don’t think so. Do me afavor and go fumigate it.” Candy-Ass leaves the room. The paper bag works, and I calm down. Jewel stretches out on thefloor so that we’re head-to-head. She announces, “I can’t take all thisdrama without my medication.” 61
  62. 62. She lights up her magic thinking stick, takes a puff, and blows theexcess smoke into my bag, and I inhale and exhale into it, thankful forany kind of relief, not really caring at this point where it comes from. Jewel tilts her head around and says, “Don’t be embarrassed thatwatching a hot, little sex scene turns you on. Lots of weird things turnme on.” Still clutching my purple pillow from the closet, I smash it over myhead so I can hide in my shame and disappear for a moment. Jewel flips over on her stomach and lifts up my pillow and sticksher head under it with me. “It’s going to be so much fun, M. You cancome over and do this all the time. Talk about authentic research!” I snatch the bag off my mouth ready to protest, ready to tell her Icould never do it again, but she blows more magic smoke into the bagand sticks it to my lips and says, “You can thank me later.” I inhaledeeply. 62
  63. 63. Part TwoSummer 63
  64. 64. The Bachelor Party S izzling summer arrive and I opt to hang out with my new wild friends rather than take summer classes. I reason that I can take an extra class or two in the fall to makeup for the classes missed over the summer. Tonight is one of those warm southern California nights we all livefor. We’re in a beautiful home in the Marina, and Jewel and Alise are toperform at this small bachelor party for three young guys. On fun nights like this, it seems as if this type of work is not thatbad after all. The girls will make several hundred dollars each. Andthey’ll probably slip me a few twenties which they usually do when I helpthem out. I’m not tempted to do work in erotica myself, but it does seem lessfrightening than it did when I first met the girls. As usual, my thoughtsare interrupted by the demands of their needs. In the bedroom/dressing-room, I help the girls with their hair,make-up, and costume changes. Jewel says, “These little fuckers. Theymay be young, but they start cheating before they even get married.” I ask, “Why do you think men cheat?” Alise states flatly, “Because they have dicks.” 64
  65. 65. Jewel laughs, “It’s simple but true. The penis is a dominator. Askany man. He’ll tell you it’s true. They suffer because of their desires.They have to deal with the greedy, hungry penis monster and be torturedby it every single day of their lives. It’s awful for men.” She shifts around, “You see every time a man sees a hot babe, hegets a boner because his eyes send a signal to his hormones whichbecome activated, and he feels a sexual urgency, a need, a desire, and,voila, lust sets in. And here we are. That’s a man’s sexual reality.” Alise adds, “Most people are fucked up over their sexuality. I knewthis girl in high school, and she blew every guy on campus and theirdads, and when she got married, she was so proud of herself becauseshe was a ‘virgin.’ Now you tell me M. You’re the college student. Doesthat sound like logical reasoning?” One of the guys taps on the door and asks, “How’s it goin’?” Jewel yells out, “We’ll be there in a minute.” Alise’s hair is so unruly, she wears a fall, but she never keeps itattached properly, and it often shifts and looks…obvious. She digs inher purse looking for a hair clip, and a pile of unpaid parking tickets fallout and land on the floor. Jewel picks them up, waves them in her face and says, “Lese!You’re going to end up in the pokey, if you don’t pay these.” Alise complains, “Dude, they’ll get paid.” She slips on a triplepadded, black bikini top with fringe trim and matching bottoms, and her 65
  66. 66. usual tall shoes. It looks fantastic next to Jewel’s flashing, red-hotsequined bikini with her “Dorothy” red, sequined stilettos. I try to put afew more bobby pins in Alise’s fall before she runs out, but I don’t makeit. While they perform, I linger in the background and do my usualvoyeur routine. It’s not what I imagined a bachelor party to be. Iexpected loud, rambunctious men screaming and behaving badly, butnothing could be more opposite. These three guys are in their early twenties and very polite. Theone getting married is about 100 pounds overweight, and the other twoare average white guys. The guys hang out in the large outside patio that’s well lit withcandles. The summer air is perfect and the mood is light. The soundsystem is soft and not loud enough to bother the neighbors. The girls make their grand entrance which creates an electricspark in the air. They flirt with the guys getting them in the mood,asking if they have their “tip” money ready because the show is about tobegin. The guys laugh and act shy, but they pull out rolls of money.Jewel’s “working” personality is active, and she’s all allure andtemptress. After seeing the money, she decides it’s time to get down tobusiness, so she instructs the guys to play her music. 66
  67. 67. Alise and Jewel begin their dance and act like playful kittens.They prance and preen and do all the moves: hips swaying, sexy turnsand bends, sultry looks, playful smiles. When the light is just right,Alise’s strong features are softened, and she looks very pretty. At one point, she becomes very dramatic in her moves, and shestoops down on her knees then swiftly raises up to sling her head aroundso that her hair will spin, but her wig flies off and lands in the goldfishpond. Everyone gasps at the same time, and the room falls dead silent,and we’re frozen. For a moment, Alise stands there completely exposed with her flathair smashed under a stocking cap that makes her look bald, and thisbaldness makes her harsh features pop out. It’s like a cruel, hideoustransformation, and the beautiful swan goes back to being the uglyduckling. But the comedic absurdity is far more powerful than the harshrealities, and we all hold in our need to burst out laughing. Alise is the first to come out of the freeze by using the footballhand signal for time out. She says, “Uh, dudes, we’re having a littletechnical difficulty here, and we, uh, need to take five.” She walks to the pond, scoops out her sopping wet wig, and pulls aflopping goldfish out of it. Still in shock, Jewel and I silently follow her to 67