Bullying in theBullying in the
Margie Roop, LPCC-S; CEAP; SAP
Bullying in the WorkplaceBullying in the Workplace
• Just what IS it that’s going on?
• Unprecedented incidents of bullying occurring
within U.S. workplaces!
• Supervisors seem to be struggling with how to
• Violence in the workplace is often a result of on-
going bullying behaviors.
• But, what exactly IS bullying?
• Margie Roop’s
• Bullying occurs
when one sees
others: I call it: their
“fear of the mirror.”
• Bullying is an
a less threatening way
of dealing with one’s
fears that is recognized
• Most of us with insight
(who are not
threatened) are prone
to HELPING someone
who we see as scared
or weak, right?
• Dr. Phil once said that bullies are not insecure; I
vehemently disagree! I have seen too many bullies
in my office to know that they are NOT secure in
• If bullies were secure in themselves, they’d easily
recognize the “mirror of self-fear” in others; rather
than bully someone, they’d EMPATHIZE with the
person and respond appropriately.
• This takes work and thus INSIGHT!
• Men often fail to report
bullying: Our society says
that men are supposed
to “suck it up”; or “boys
will be boys” or “don’t
be a wimp.”
• Women accept WAY
too much and tend to
get caught up in gossip
and “cliques”….Just like
in junior high school!
EAP for BullyingEAP for Bullying• Employees referred to the EAP
for “bullying” are typically:
• These same employees, after
interviewing them, turn out to
actually be: the victim!
• Men are not comfortable
reporting that they are being
bullied; they fear losing face,
their masculinity, their pride.
• Instead, men respond to
bullying with defensiveness
and threats (programmed).
So, guess who gets in trouble?So, guess who gets in trouble?
The male victim! How’d I get here?
Typical responsesTypical responses
• Men: defend themselves with threatening
statements such as: I own weapons; I’ll meet you
out back after work; you better watch your back,
or, actually respond with physical violence (“I just
couldn’t take it anymore!”).
• Women: Will recoil, shrink into themselves,
acquiesce to the bully’s demands, or request
transfers away from the bully.
How to handle a bullyHow to handle a bully
“ What IS it about me that
makes YOU feel
“STOP: what you said is
out of line, it’s
inappropriate; I won’t
tolerate your behavior.”
“Help me understand
how I upset you so
Bullying based on protected class?Bullying based on protected class?
• Reporting bullying to a company’s Human Resource
(HR) or EEOC Officer is crucial!
• The bullying may be determined to be based on:
gender, age, sex, religion, disability, and/or
• HR/EEOC may have to take a different avenue as it
investigates each event, especially if the behavior
violates an employee’s civil rights.
Report BullyingReport Bullying
• Best practices: the company encourages
employees to report incidents to management.
• Management needs to keep sources of reporting
confidential as it investigates & resolves the
• Employees should document incidents of bullying &
when they are reported to management.
• Do not let behaviors go unaddressed; push for
response from management; go to upper
management if you feel incidents are being
LifeServices EAPLifeServices EAP
• Contact LifeServices to discuss bullying within your
• We can guide you in properly reporting and
responding to such behaviors at work.
• You are never alone; refuse to isolate yourself!
• Call: 800-822-4847