ANGER: Who’s Most at Risk?
By Margie Roop, LPCC-S; CEAP; SAP
Anger is a normal emotion just like sadness, happiness, frustration, fear, worry, etc…We are all capable
of a full range of emotions, including anger. But, what is it about someone who just doesn’t seem to get
angry about much of anything? How is it that they are able to “roll with the punches” and not get too
bothered about stuff that may infuriate the next person?
Perception: It is all about how I see a situation. We all know someone in our lives who is able to allow
things to just roll off their backs. We also know someone who over-reacts to almost everything. What
makes them so different?
Most persons who are slow to anger seem to have certain key strengths which allow them to not
perceive fear, threats, doom and gloom, or some other untoward thing that might befall them! They
are: confident, centered (balanced), positive outlook, self-assured, peaceful, understanding, empathic,
see the glass as half-full.
Persons who are quick to anger (or over-react) tend to be: uptight, fearful, nervous, insecure, hypersensitive, stressed, irritable, negative outlook, moody, suspicious, demanding, hard on themselves,
hyper-vigilant, see the glass as half-empty.
Also, how one expresses the emotion of anger, varies from person to person. It doesn’t mean someone
is NOT angry just because they don’t LOOK angry. One can feel anger and even express anger in a very
normal tone of voice all the while looking relaxed! But, how do they do that; how are they able to not
only feel the emotion of anger, but express it in a relaxed manner while getting their point across?
Self-Care: If I am taking steps to take care of myself, adopt a healthy lifestyle, surround myself with
healthy people, and/or STRIVE for a positive outcome as it relates to my relationships with people, then
less will upset me. Thus, if I need to express my feeling of anger towards someone, I‘ll probably be able
to do so calmly and in a way that gets my message across!
If I do not take care of myself in my life, and instead, adopt an unhealthy lifestyle, surround myself with
unhealthy people, and/or CANNOT possibly envision a positive outcome, then a.) I’ll feel angry much
more often, and b.) When I DO express my anger, it will NOT be done appropriately and my true
message will not get across (won’t be received). Which option do YOU want? What changes do YOU
need to make?
“Our Deepest Fear”
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us……”
Call LifeServices EAP for further consultation for YOUR workforce!