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The WAY WE live OUR RELATIONSHIP

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Every Relationship, Every Connection with others has its ups and downs

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The WAY WE live OUR RELATIONSHIP

  1. 1. Jean Noel Macaque
  2. 2. Every Relationship Every Connection with others has its ups and downs
  3. 3. Changes in our relationship will impact what we want and need from the relationship Change is inevitable in life
  4. 4. Disagreements in a relationship are not only normal It brings fear, anxiety, sadness, tension, anger , irritation, fight, violence Emotional Impact brings Depression and Trauma
  5. 5. Relationship trauma is the kind of emotional and psychological trauma that occurs within the context of relationships
  6. 6. Relationships tend also to be where the effects of relationship trauma reemerge Ways in which they reemerge are in being easily triggered, bringing old patterns into new relationships (reenactment patterns) Transferences in the family onto partners and children Transferences onto friends
  7. 7. We have many difficulties in our relationship to regulate strong feelings such as fear, hostility, anger, rage, anxiety, sadness
  8. 8. When we feel we can’t do nothing to change the situation we’re in We form a pattern of helplessness, weakness, defenselessness We give up
  9. 9. When our relationships became unreliable We experience a loss of trust and faith in relationships and in life’s ability to repair and renew itself
  10. 10. When we are hyper vigilant we carry a level of Anxiety We scan our environment and relationships for signs of potential danger We became easily triggered and hyper-reactive with others
  11. 11. The limbic system regulates mood When we are deregulated in our emotional system we may have trouble regulating feelings such as anger, sadness and fear, all of which may contribute to depression
  12. 12. When our family unit is spinning out of control, we will tell ourselves whatever is necessary to allow ourselves to stay connected This kind of reasoning can be immature and distorted It also produces core beliefs about life and relationships upon which we build more distorted reasoning and that we live out throughout our lives
  13. 13. The freezing response of our emotional restriction leads us to a loss of ability to take in caring and support from others Additionally, as mistrust grows, so does our willingness to accept love and support
  14. 14. We engaged in chronic high risk behaviors by trying to do a couple of things, to stimulating a rush of feel good and to alter the mood Some examples of high risk behaviors Speeding, sexual acting out, spending, fighting, drugging…..
  15. 15. When we have an unhealthy family system We can experience a survivor’s guilt
  16. 16. When we are consistently being wounded emotionally and are not able to address it openly and honestly, we develop mechanical defenses to manage our fear and pain Dissociation, denial, splitting, repression, minimization, intellectualization, projection are some examples
  17. 17. Traumatic bonds in relationship between parent and child, couples, friends may be left to care for each other To love each other
  18. 18. Addictions A sort of self-administered medication Drugs and alcohol, for the trauma survivor, can provide a way to quiet the mind and the body, to control a turbulent, troubled inner world
  19. 19. The reenactment dynamic is one of the core features of how trauma from one generation gets passed down through subsequent generations We tend to recreate those circumstances in our lives that feel unresolved and unconscious
  20. 20. Relationship involve ongoing effort and compromise

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