What is Etiquette Etiquette = the sets of rules that give expression to manners—can vary from culture to culture Protocol = forms of etiquette for ceremony and special occasions Good Manners = customs and traditions of a society that govern how people treat one another and behave in social
SimplyEtiquette is making other people feel comfortable.
Why Manners are Good for You 1. They put people at ease. 2. They impress people. 3. They build self-esteem. 4. They are attractive. 5. They allow people to live and work together without a lot of friction. 6. Good manners can save your life. 7. Good manners are rare. 8. Good manners make you feel good. 9. Good manners make others feel good. 10. They don’t cost anything. Manners can also help you get a job; get what you want from your parents; get compliments and respect; impress the opposite sex (and their parents); get help from teachers.”
Top 20 Tips Part 1 1. Use the accepted phrases: please, thank you, may I, excuse me, I’m sorry. 2. Write thank-you notes. 3. Look people in the eyes. 4. Clean up after yourself. 5. Respect others. 6. Don’t interrupt. 7. Treat people the way you would like to be treated. 8. Use good table manners. 9. Give a firm handshake. 10. Greet others
Top 20 Tips Part II 11. Have compassion. 12. Be thoughtful about opening doors, helping, and offering your seat. 13. Listen! 14. Show special consideration to guests. 15. Say yes, rather than yeah. 16. Don’t say hurtful things. 17. Think before you speak. 18. Respect the property of others. 19. Respect the feelings of others. 20. Use good telephone manners.
RudenessThe two best ways to respond:1. Ignore it . . . knowing you possess good manners and self-control.2. 2. Be polite . . . a sign of strength but an acquired skill.
Phone Etiquette You call your friend Jessica to invite her to an event, you get her voice mail. You… A. hang up. You hate those machines. B. Say, Call me!” She will know it’s you. C. Leave a message: “This is Lucy. Jessica, its Friday 2pm and I would like to invite you to dinner at my house tonight at 6, call me when you have a chance.” You are at work, you answer the phone. A person you don’t know wants to talk to your boss. You say… A. “Ms. Lucy is not in yet, she is at home with a sick child would you like to call back later?” B. “ Ms. Lucy is not available, may I take a message or would you like her voice mail?” C. “ sure call her on her cell phone, here is the number.”
More Phone Etiquette You have a cell phone. You are at a restaurant with your friends when the cell phone rings. It is your friend Sally. You… A. Answer the phone, you really want to tell her something. B. Keep the phone in your purse or backpack, it is not polite to answer the phone when you are with your family or friends. C. Answer the phone and tell her you will call her back later
Ipods & Headphones You attend a dance recital (where your friend is performing. After a few minutes you get bored. A. You take out your Ipod and listen to a few tunes. No one will notice. B. You take a walk to the lobby and stay there. C. You take a walk, find your renewed interest and take your seat with interest in the show.
Bluetooth & Cell Calls…You use a bluetooth device to make it easier to take calls. You stop in the grocery store to buy a few things. As you reach the check out counter, you…a. Get a call, so you answer it and have a conversation while you are checking out.b. If you are on a call, you end your conversation so you can interact with the clerk who is checking you out.c. As you walk around the store you have a conversation about your troubles with your boss, boyfriend, or mom. Shopping is great time to talk on the phone.
Email: True or False? You are a creative cool person, your email is email@example.com You check your personal email and your personal Facebook posts at work. You use your work email to send gossip updates to your friends. You forward every funny email you get. You choose a professional email for business and work and never use personal email at work. Your Facebook page is about the professional you so you promote yourself as a serious professional with a human side.
Blogs, Pictures, Videos You cannot control what other people say about you or the pictures they take of you; however, YOU can control your behavior in public and private. If you write online…keep other people’s names and identities private. If you pose for pictures, pretend it will be sent to your abuela. Remember you are always On-Stage.
Dining Etiquette Table manners play an important part in making a favorable impression. They are visible signals of the state of our manners and therefore are essential to professional success. Our manners can speak volumes about us as professionals.
Napkin Use The meal begins when the host unfolds his or her napkin. This is your signal to do the same. Place your napkin on your lap, completely unfolded if it is a small luncheon napkin or in half, lengthwise, if it is a large dinner napkin. Typically, you want to put your napkin on your lap soon after sitting down at the table (but follow your hosts lead). The napkin remains on your lap throughout the entire meal and should be used to gently blot your mouth when needed. If you need to leave the table during the meal, place your napkin on your chair as a signal to your server that you will be returning. The host will signal the end of the meal by placing his or her napkin on the table. Once the meal is over, you too should place your napkin neatly on the table to the right of your dinner plate. (Do not refold your napkin, but dont wad it up, either.)
“Reading” the Table Setting Simple hand reminder: B and D To the right will be placed; glassware, cup and saucer, knives, and spoons, as well as a seafood fork if the meal includes seafood. It is important to place the glassware or cup back in the same position after its use in order to maintain the visual presence of the table. To the left will be placed; bread and butter plate (including small butter knife placed horizontally across the top of the plate), salad plate, napkin, and forks. Remembering the rule of "liquids on your right" and "solids on your left" will help in allowing you to quickly become familiar with the place setting.
American Style In the American style, one cuts the food by holding the knife in the right hand and the fork in the left hand with the fork tines piercing the food to secure it on the plate. Cut a few bite-size pieces of food, then lay your knife across the top edge of your plate with the sharp edge of the blade facing in. Change your fork from your left to your right hand to eat, fork tines facing up. (If you are left- handed, keep your fork in your left hand, tines facing up.)
Continental Style Continental Style is the same as the American style in that you cut your meat by holding your knife in your right hand while securing your food with your fork in your left hand. The difference is your fork remains in your left hand, tines facing down, and the knife in your right hand. Simply eat the cut pieces of food by picking them up with your fork still in your left hand.
When You Have Finished Do not push your plate away from you when you have finished eating. Leave your plate where it is in the place setting. The common way to show that you have finished your meal is to lay your fork and knife diagonally across your plate. Place your knife and fork side by side, with the sharp side of the knife blade facing inward and the fork, tines down, to the left of the knife. The knife and fork should be placed as if they are pointing to the numbers 10 and 4 on a clock face. Once you have used a piece of silverware, never place it back on the table. Do not leave a used spoon in a cup, either; place it on the saucer. You can leave a soupspoon in a soup plate. Any unused silverware is simply left on the table.
Using Good Manners at the Table BREAKING BREAD: Usually the bread served at a formal function will be a roll or a selection of specialty breads sliced and ready to use. Remember that bread is always broken and never cut at a formal dining table. Butter and eat bite size pieces.
Using Good Manners at the Table USING YOUR FINGERS: One should never use ones fingers at any formal dining experience, (except for moving pieces of bread to your mouth). Finger Food: chicken nuggets, pizza, corn on the cob, chicken on the bone, olives, etc.
Using Good Manners at the Table LEFTOVERS: It is always inappropriate to ask the waiter for a "doggy bag" to take home the leftovers when you are a guest at either a formal function or at a good restaurant. If the waiter suggests you can take home the leftovers, decline with a polite but firm, "Thank you, but no".
SITTING: Always sit well back in the chair so that the seat back supports you. Sit up straight at the table, you will tire less easily and of course, it also makes a far better impression than it would if you were slouching. HANDS: When you are not eating, keep your hands in your lap, or resting on the table (with only your wrists on the edge of the table). An elbow placed upon the table is completely unacceptable in polite company.
Much More Passing the Salt Passing the Bread Basket Removing Inedible Items from the Mouth Finger Bowls Waste Bowls Eating Soup Serving Tea
Surrounded by People Leaders: Acknowledge everyone around them with a smile, a greeting, or a handshake. Acknowledge even those who don’t talk…don’t forget the babies and the pets. Make and keep eye contact. SMILE Keep a relaxed and yet assertive demeanor. Ooze friendliness and respect.
Beware Cultural Differences When in Rome… Listen to others, are they huggers, air kissers, or three feet personal spacers? Choose your words…in other languages AND in your own. When is “no thank you, I am not hungry”, considered rude? Know your hosting protocol.
How do you Lead? Are you a mad dog or a love cat? In the new economy your value is based on your network Don’t be a “switch” be “fireworks”
Small Talk vs. Talk vs. Big Talk There is a time for small talk and there is a time for big talk. Which is which? 1. conversing with the cashier at HEB. 2. conversing with a speaker after a speaking event. 3. you are asked to sit on a panel for your opinion on the Border Wall.
There is talking and then there is Talking. A Lucila-ism: Your personal and professional success will be based on the effectiveness of your communications skills Learn and practice to speak in public Learn and practice to speak in small groups Learn and practice to speak one-to-one Learn and practice when to STOP talking.
Talk, Then WRITE You must be able to speak well and write well… Good writing only comes with daily practice and daily READING. READ, READ, READ Stop texting and start WRITING! Leadership etiquette is about effective communicating in person, in speech and in writing.
Official Protocol Respect who you are with: elected officials, VIPs, etc. Respect the building you are in: the U.S. Capitol, a church, someone else’s home, etc. Respect the objects around you: furniture, food, private belongings. Respect the ceremonial proceedings: from the pledge of allegiance to the time you have to ask questions.
What you do speaks so loudlyI cannot hear what you say. Ralph Waldo Emerson Small Things Make a Big Difference in Leadership You are On Stage And You are the Star!
So, Break A Leg but if you need help… Ask Lucila firstname.lastname@example.org