Is it Time for a Wholeness Day?


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It is amazing to me how we can put our work out there and get so many people telling us how we inspired them, but it only takes one message of criticism to wound our heart and stop us in our tracks.

The truth is, the opinions of those that aren’t in the arena, don’t matter. Dr. Brown talks beautifully about this...

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Is it Time for a Wholeness Day?

  1. 1. 24 MAR 2014 TweetTweet 1 1 StumbleUpon Is it Time For A Wholeness Day? categories: Mindful Monday A Day of Wholeness for Wholehearted Living I became a fan of Dr. Brown’s work a few years ago when I read The Gifts of Imperfection. I even mentioned a quote from that book in my own little book, 5 Gifts to Give Yourself. I’m going to be honest with you here and say that I still struggle with vulnerability. Feeling like I gotta keep my own stuff wrapped inside a neat little package. I’ve worked on it and I have certainly made some improvements, but vulnerability takes a lot of courage. The price of being invulnerable, however, is very high. We lose out on real connection. I can look at my own life and see how I have let loves and relationships go rather than being vulnerable enough for the “real” talk that was needed. Who lost out? I did and maybe others, as well. Shame:1 ~ Hil:0Shame:1 ~ Hil:0 If you are finding yourself in a similar place, this is not about a guilt trip. In fact, that is what this post is about; criticism and the guilt that can ensue or worse the downward spiral of shame… It is amazing to me how we can put our work out there and get so many people telling us how we inspired them, but it only takes one message of criticism to wound our heart and stop us in our tracks. The truth is, the opinions of those that aren’t in the arena, don’t matter. Dr. Brown talks beautifully about this and I wrote a previous post on it here: Writer’s Let Your Vulnerability Show Through Anyways, I had an experience like that last week. I put something vulnerable out into the world. It came YA KNOW YA WANNA FOLLOW! SIGNUP FOR CONTENT ONLY SHARED WITH SUBSCRIBERS! Email address:Email address: Your email address Sign up SHARING BLOG LOVE Search Search 1Like ShareShare 1 HOME ABOUT BUSINESS RESOURCES PERSONAL RESOURCES BOOKS WE LOVE CONTACT ME
  2. 2. from a heartfelt place of wanting to help others, when one criticizing message left me feeling hurt and shameful. I begin to doubt that even though I was sharing something that had helped me greatly, maybe it was wrong or not the perfect method. I would certainly not want to lead someone down a wrong path. I am telling you all this as a set up to share where I was coming from, but it is really beside the point. What truly mattered is how much it bothered me and how I just could not seem to shake it. When this happens, it is a sign to me that I am in need of what I call a “Wholeness Day.” A day set aside to evaluate any relevance to criticism and to turn inward. What is my heart saying? If my heart is truly feeling uneasy, is it because I am wrong and need to change something? Or am I upset and fearful about the vulnerability, criticism, and judgement? Sometimes, I’m honestly not sure. But, I do know that when you love and care it often hurts and it often hurts deep. As Dr. Brown explains, authenticity is a practice and it’s a practice you must choose every day. To get started with the practice: Let go of what people think Cultivate self-compassion I watched a Tony Robbins training this weekend where he talked a man out of suicide. It was very moving, but he also said something that really hit home with me, “You can’t stop caring because it is now difficult. And, you can’t stop caring because you made mistakes. And, you can’t stop caring because someone is hurt. You gotta care more, and caring more has to start with you. Because if you don’t care for you, there will be no resource called ‘you’ to care for her, or her, or him, or them, or all of those…” If you are in a shame story, you’re not caring for yourself and you certainly can’t care for anyone else. I have learned over the years to focus on the good things, because my heart just cannot take all the bad. Maybe, your way of caring or doing what you thought was right at the moment, wasn’t perfect. That doesn’t mean stop caring. That’s where a Wholeness Day comes in… A Wholeness day allows me to reconnect to the part of me that wants to help others live better lives. The part of me that knows I have to be able to receive and be filled in order to give. The part of me that works from love not fear of what others think. So, if you are struggling against criticism and fear, against putting your work out into the world, take time for a Wholeness Day. Here are some things you can do on your Wholeness DayWholeness Day: Read- the poems, the scriptures, the stories and passages that inspire you Watch some videos like Dr. Brown’s TED Talks Do some writing and contemplating. Why are you feeling vulnerable? What makes it scary and Time Catholicpeoplemeet Com Time ME Catalog Time Life Our Time Time ME Chitika | Opt out? THANK YOU FOR THE RAVE REVIEWS! "Lorihil was awesome!!!" "Thank you so much! Huge fan of your work." "Rock star writing!" "Lorihil is great. She writes well, has a great 'voice' and is easy to work with." "Lori writes from the heart and had me looking into my life with a renewed thankfulness and true gratitude." On Fiverr: On Amazon: CHECK OUT OUR VIDEO CHANNEL FOR TIPS & TUTORIALS!
  3. 3. what could be the immense reward? Spend some time in silence and listen to your heart. It can be scary, I know. But, you could also receive some amazing love and insight. Read your “friendship love notes.” These are messages of love encouragement that you have saved up for such a times as this. Be Gentle with Yourself. Maybe you cannot take a whole day to do this, but I encourage you to set some time aside. When you are in a place that being quite by yourself seems scary, that’s probably when you need it the most. Don’t be afraid to seek out help if you are still feeling unsettled. Dr. Brown talks about how shame dissipates when we share our story. But, also be careful with whom you share it. “You share with people that have earned the right to hear your shame story.” A person worthy of your shame story: Loves you because of your vulnerability, rather than in spite of it And Shows up ready to wade through the deep Friends like that are rare, but I hope you have at least one and show them your gratitude. I also hope the next time a friend needs me to share in their shame story, I can be there with true empathy. It won’t be perfect and that’s ok. To live and love with my whole heart, the ultimate goal! I certainly haven’t arrived yet,To live and love with my whole heart, the ultimate goal! I certainly haven’t arrived yet, but it’s daily practice with one small act of courage at a time.but it’s daily practice with one small act of courage at a time. XOXO, Hil <3XOXO, Hil <3 SEARCH POSTS Search Search CATEGORIES Mindful Monday Writer's Wednesdays Fanship Friday Lori's Unconventional Advice Social Media Management Be A Goal Setting Rock Star Cheers to Health & Wellness Fabulous Friday Just Because The Month of Love RECENT POSTS Is it Time For A Wholeness Day? Dear Friday, I love YOU! Transitions: Your Work From Home Sanity via Writer’s Wednesday MY BLOGROLL Online Traffic
  4. 4. « Dear Friday, I love YOU! Brene Brown, guilt, inspiration, Mindful Monday, quotes, shame, vulnerability, wholehearted living, wholeness 0 comment Leave me a comment and let me know how you are living a “wholehearted life!” For More:For More: Another one of my “Keep Daring Greatly” posts You can visit Dr. Brown’s site at: If you haven’t seen “Vulnerability TED’s” follow up TED talk full of humor, sincerity, and authenticity, here ya go: Recommended by Share and Enjoy NetworkedBlogs Blog: Immensely Social Topics: Social Media, Work From Home, Working Online, Freelancing, Blogging, Writing Follow my blog You might like: The Month of Love: Unique Budget Friendly Gifts for Valentine's Valentines Day Survival Guide for Singles Fabulous Friday: Favorites of the Week! Step With Me into the…Twilight Zone: Freedom from a Rut
  5. 5. Writers Wednesday: Stock Photos Magic 1 comment • 3 months ago Lori Hil — PicJumbo is another free source for stock photography I found recently. If you have a source to share, … Transitions: Your Work From Home Sanity via Writer’s Wednesday 2 comments • 5 days ago Lori Hil — Thanks so much for your feedback Jen St Germain Leeman! I have learned a ton working from home, I … A Fabulous 2014 to YOU! 2 comments • 3 months ago Lori Hil — Sure Jenni! Thank you for creating them. I have found them useful and love to pass on content I enjoy. If … Spring Cleaning The Mac Edition via Mindful Monday 16 comments • 15 days ago Lori Hil — Happy Spring Cleaning! Thanks for stopping by! ALSO ON IMMENSELY SOCIAL 0 Comments Immensely Social Lori Hil Sort by Best Share Start the discussion… Be the first to comment. WHAT'S THIS? Subscribe Add Disqus to your site Favorite Powered by Dailymotion © Copyright Immensely Social 2014. Powered by WordPress.