Paul Oneal June 30, 2014 Life/relationship problems, Three Faces of Sex.
Child molestations, belly buttons, golliwogs and monkey-
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“Many teachers have passed through my life but
never one like you Stella. You are so genuine,
honest and loving, it brings tears of gratitude to
my eyes whenever I think of you.”
As the list of suspected celebrity child molesters grows, we’ve been thrown into such confusion as to whether and
‘who dun it,’ our minds have become scrabbled messes.
I mean – since when did a little girl showing off her belly button warrant being struck off Instagram for not being
PC? Come on – it’s pathetic isn’t it!
I wanted to use a picture of a little girl sitting on her potty as part of a marketing campaign for one of my books…the
idea behind it was that she’s so engrossed reading about the adventures of Omzak (a cat from space), she just has
to keep reading whatever she’s doing. My marketing girl had a fit. ‘You can’t show a child sitting on a potty. People
will throw you to the wolves!’
I followed her advice but I’m fed up to my teeth. I have to write under two names and have two websites because
parents might take offence that I write lovemaking manuals as well as writing for children. Well, OK, I can understand
that parents might not want their young ones learning about sex until they are of suitable age – but at least in my
hands they’d be safe – and what is a suitable age –And how come most molested children don’t report the fact to
one of their parents?
When I was 8, my uncle Harry tried to poke his fingers in my knickers when he was giving me a piggy back. As soon
as I could I told my Mum. We made sure uncle Harry had no close contact with me after that, and when many years
later, my Mum took my daughter (aged 6) to visit aunt Annie and uncle Harry, I gave my daughter an in depth talk
about the birds, bees, men to avoid and why.
Good communication is surely the key to decrease the number of child molestations? And all I can say about
mothers who protect sick minded fathers is that both should be thrown in jail. A child growing up with such parents is
better off elsewhere.
But forget the confusion surrounding the above, I’m still trying to fathom why I can’t say ‘fat’ when writing for
children. My publisher said ‘It’s not PC. Describe fat in another way.’
I don’t get it. If I can say, stick-thin, pig nosed or bum like a rhinoceros why can’t I say… Oh forget that too – I’m still
trying to work out why smiling black-faced golliwogs stopped being PC!! Who keeps forcing these ridiculous
decisions on us???
And what of the latest thing that’s got right up my nose – Central Park in New York is taking down the monkey bars
because they’re worried about the number of parents filing lawsuits. Who are these vile parents? When even our
own children are being used as an excuse to money grab, is there any lower we can sink? Why doesn’t Central Park
put up a notice saying ‘We assume accompanied and unaccompanied children have parental consent to play on
the monkey bars. We will not be held responsible for accidents.’ I fell off monkey bars loads of times when I was a
kid, but I had more accidents on my bicycle, skates and jumping off walls so what’s happened to letting kids be kids?
And to the safety department who decided that the monkey bars in a primary school in Oxfordshire were a danger
hazard and took them down– why didn’t they send out a survey to the kids themselves? Surely a child who is made
important enough to debate such matters is far more likely to speak up if molested?
I have so many questions with no answers to suit so I take my leave with this frustrated…
- and boy am I glad I grew up in the era I did!!!!!!!!
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Andrea Robinson July 20, 2014 at 7:45 pm
If kids can’t play on the monkey bars, what can they do? Are we to follow them around with pillows
trying to make sure they never get an owie?
Central Park and the school in Oxfordshire could have put in that foamy stuff that most playgrounds
have nowadays. If the kid falls, it’s no big deal. But even if they fall on sand, it’s probably no big deal
either. What did they have there before? Concrete?
I love the idea of having the kids debate the issue — after all, it affects them. And learning to
articulate what they want and what they don’t want can only help them in life. It saves so many
lawsuits, so many hurt feelings, so many bad decisions….
When I was raised, I was told, “Children should speak only when spoken to.” This ensured that I
never told my parents anything, even if I had a medical condition. Also, I remember standing in the
living room at the age of 16 watching my parents converse with guests and thinking, “Aren’t they
even going to let me practice a little before I hit 18?”
At the age of 18, I promptly split the country and didn’t see much of family until age 40.
I think that children have a natural sense of what they can and can’t do. I had a friend who was a
teacher, and he let the children themselves decide when and how far to climb up the monkey bars.
Despite the protests from other anxiety-ridden adults, it played out that the children would only climb
so high and attempt so many things. When they got to a place where they didn’t feel safe anymore,
they stopped. The play gym was on sand.
We assume that children are our blank slates and that they don’t know anything. I wonder what
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