1. flickr: SOCIALisBETTER
How to Write
Thank-You
Emails That
Inspire
@
Your guide to
e-gratitude glory.
___________
Network for Good Webinar
March 21, 2012

2. Your Network for Good Webinar Speaker Today:
Lisa Sargent,
Donor Communications Specialist
Lisa Sargent Communications
www.lisasargent.com

3. How to Write Thank-You Emails That Inspire:
What We‟ll Cover Today
I. The proof, the theory (groan!), the mantra
• The thinking behind the thanking: short, sweet, surprising
II. The process: 10 steps to write your way to e-gratitude glory
① Who‟s knocking on my Inbox? Write proper sender & subject lines.
② What‟s in a name? Make it personal.
③ These two lines matter most: Aim for engaging openers.
④ Bring on the good stuff! Describe how I‟m helping/will help.
⑤ Where can I turn? Provide the right kind of contact info. flickr: Chelsea McNamara
⑥ Don‟t leave me hanging... Say when you‟ll be in touch next.
⑦ The voice at the top: Choose the right signatories and signatures.
⑧ Now what? Harness e-gratitude‟s biggest secret powers.
⑨ Postscript power: Use a P.S., how and why.
⑩ Love at first sight? Attend to format, images and alt-tags.
III. The reality: E-mail samples, mundane and magnificent!
• A guided tour through real-world email thank-yous
Up next  Theory and proof
How to write thank-you emails that inspire, Network for Good Webinar 3/21/12: Lisa Sargent Communications

4. The thinking behind the thanking: theory and proof
Why bother?
So, why bother sending an email thank you at all?
4 things we know:
① Online donor retention rates are in the pits. Only 11 out of every 100 donors
acquired online in 2007 were still giving in 2010.
Source: 2011 donorCentrics™ Internet and Multichannel Giving Benchmarking Report
② Thank-yous are tops for donor retention: Professor Adrian Sargeant, et. al. say
thank-yous “provide a promising means of fostering donor relationships and
retaining donors.” Source: “Don’t forget to say ‘thank you’: The effect of an acknowledgment on donor relationships”, Sargeant, et. al.
Up next  3. & 4.
How to write thank-you emails that inspire, Network for Good Webinar 3/21/12: Lisa Sargent Communications

5. The thinking behind the thanking: theory and proof
So, why bother sending an email thank you at all?
4 things we know, cont’d:
③ Thank-yous make donors feel good: again, from Prof. Sargeant, saying thank you
“enhances positive emotions and alleviates negative emotions.” (Think: old brain!)
④ Thanking makes people more likely to help (read as: give) again. Harvard said so!
Source: “Why ‘thank you’ matters,” Harvard Program on Negotiation
Up next  Your new gratitude mantra
How to write thank-you emails that inspire, Network for Good Webinar 3/21/12: Lisa Sargent Communications

6. The thinking behind the ♬ ♫ ♬ “I feel good... I
knew that I would, now...I
thanking: mantra! feeeeeeel good... ♬ ♫ ♬
You say:
“OK, OK, Lisa. Enough proof. Enough
theory! What I want to know is: what kind
of thank-yous should I write?”
Here‟s my answer, in the form of
your new gratitude mantra:
“I will write
thank-you emails
that make
my donors
FEEL GOOD!”
flickr: cliff1066™
How to write thank-you emails that inspire, Network for Good Webinar 3/21/12: speaker, Lisa Sargent

7. flickr: Foxtongue
Repeat:
I will write thank-you emails that
make my donors feel good!*
* Reason why: Feeling good taps into the
egocentric amygdala (a.k.a. reptilian
brain, ‘old brain,’ ‘lizard brain’).
Besides, it’s the right thing to do. Saying
thank you is good customer service AND
just plain good manners.
Up next  Now let‟s get writing!
How to write thank-you emails that inspire, Network for Good Webinar 3/21/12: speaker, Lisa Sargent

8. Who’s that knocking on my Inbox door? You have 2-5 seconds to tell
me, or I click the ‘delete’ button...
Step 1. Write proper email Sender and Subject lines.
Actual examples from my Inbox:
Sender
DON’TS:
Do not use Info,
Donations,
Webmaster,
Friend, or other
generic name as
a Sender line.
Sender
Your ‘Sender’ or
DOs:
‘From’ line must Do choose the
clearly state who
you are!
bona fide
name of your
organization.
Up next  Subject Lines
How to write thank-you emails that inspire, Network for Good Webinar 3/21/12: Lisa Sargent Communications

9. Who’s that knocking on my Inbox door? You have 2-5 seconds to tell
me, or I click the ‘delete’ button...
Step 1. Write proper email Sender and Subject lines.
Here‟s how (part 2):
Subject
Line Rule:
Your subject
line must state
why you are
emailing in 45
characters or
less (including
spaces). And
frontload:
mobile devices
only display 1st
15-25
characters.
BONUS: Use
donor’s name
in the subject
line.
How to write thank-you emails that inspire, Network for Good Webinar 3/21/12: Lisa Sargent Communications

10. What’s in a name?
Step 2. Make it personal. At a minimum, your email
salutation should use the donor‟s name, spelled
flickr: cote correctly.
My favorites: simple, warm,
no crazy punctuation.
Formal punctuation: use of colon positions this
as a ‘business’ transaction.
BONUS TIP:
Formal or casual?
Think about how you want
to address your new
donors, and the tone you
will set, and plan ahead
when setting up donation
page information fields.
Lukewarm: using first AND last name gives this an impersonal,
automated feel. Semicolon only makes it more stilted.
Up next  Openers
How to write thank-you emails that inspire, Network for Good Webinar 3/21/12: Lisa Sargent Communications

11. litmus.com/blog says, “On average, 51.1% of readers spend less than 2 seconds looking at your
email.” And many use the preview pane. What does this mean? The first two lines matter most!
So...
Step 3. Use an engaging opener.
Pop quiz: which of the leads below would YOU rather read?
Up next  One more thing about Openers
How to write thank-you emails that inspire, Network for Good Webinar 3/21/12: Lisa Sargent Communications

12. ONE MORE THING ABOUT E-THANKYOU OPENERS...
If you start with a story, you must very quickly
say thank you and include the donation amount.
(You can always jump back into the story on the next several lines.)
This slide with special thanks to Merchants Quay Ireland and their Head of Fundraising, Denisa Casement,
for sharing their 2011 e-mail thank you, above.
Up next  Step 4
How to write thank-you emails that inspire, Network for Good Webinar 3/21/12: Lisa Sargent Communications

13. Step 4. Now tell me how my recently
received donation is helping/will help
change the world.*
*Important: if I have given for a specific purpose or to a
specific campaign, name it!
More from the „mystery shopping‟ files....
Up next  Where can I turn?
How to write thank-you emails that inspire, Network for Good Webinar 3/21/12: Lisa Sargent Communications

14. Where can I turn if I need help? Providing proper contact information points me in the right
direction, gets the relationship off on the right foot, and puts a human face on your
organization.
Step 5. Provide non-generic contact information and links so I can get
in touch with your organization if I need to.
Not bad, but using a real person’s
name would be nicer.
One of mine... Up next  Tell me what‟s coming
How to write thank-you emails that inspire, Network for Good Webinar 3/21/12: Lisa Sargent Communications

15. We’ve come this far together... Now don’t drop me in mid-email!
flickr: jemasmith
Step 6. Say when you‟ll be in touch with me next, and how.
(e.g., your e-newsletter, tax receipt, direct mail welcome pack...tell me.)
Only 1 organization (out of 12!) told me.Yay, Mercy Corps!
Up next  The voice at the top
How to write thank-you emails that inspire, Network for Good Webinar 3/21/12: Lisa Sargent Communications

16. The voice at the top: Photo. ID’d. President. Nice.
Step 7. Choose your signatory (and signature) wisely.
A proper signatory can be...
• Your CEO or President (ID’d as such!)
• A staff member if for a special campaign,
e.g. someone ‘in the field’
“Oh, look! Here’s a nice
• Bonus: photo is nice. Actual signature
photo of the CEO and his
is, too. ? Who are you?
cat. What a kind face
he has...”
Real sig. ID’d. Nice.
“The team”? The
team persona is part
of c:water’s identity,
but to me, one
person is better.
Real CEO. Real animal lover. Nice.
Up next  Now what?
How to write thank-you emails that inspire, Network for Good Webinar 3/21/12: Lisa Sargent Communications

17. Now what?!
Harness e-gratitude’s secret powers!  Step 8. Harness email‟s 3 secret powers:
Interactivity, Immediacy and Instant
Gratification.
I’ve nearly finished reading your thank-you email. I’m feeling good
about giving, and I’m thinking about you and your work. Right now.
Why not keep the good feelings flowing? Send me to a video or
resource on your website... to your blog... to Twitter or Facebook...
No links 
Links 
flickr: LOLren
Up next  Openers
How to write thank-you emails that inspire, Network for Good Webinar 3/21/12: Lisa Sargent Communications

18. P.S. We love you. You. You. You!
Yes, people read postscripts. In e-mails. Yes. Yes. Yes. (And click-throughs of 2 and 4
percent are not unheard of: the P.S. is your last chance to sprinkle a little more donor-
love.)
Step 9. Use a P.S., a.k.a. postscript.
What can you put in a P.S.?
An invitation to watch a video or access a
free resource or take a tour, an update to
your story, your contact info
(see previous slides for ideas)...
And one final, fabulous thank-you,
of course!
Up next  The visuals of writing
How to write thank-you emails that inspire, Network for Good Webinar 3/21/12: Lisa Sargent Communications

19. The visuals of writing...
Step 10. Attend to your format, images and alt-tags
for better readability. Seven tips:
1. View your e-mails with images off and images on, and create
proper alt-tags to describe images and logos.
2. Write your email in Word first. Spellcheck, proof grammar and
This is an ‘alt-tag’, or readability stats (i.e., Flesch-Kincaid).
alt-attribute: a short 3. In general, keep paragraphs and sentences short.
block of text that
describes the image to 4. In general, use action verbs. And always, more „you‟ than „we.‟
be rendered (which you 5. In general, use sans serif font online. 11 pt is good. 12 pt is better.
can see is a logo, 6. Use adjectives and adverbs sparingly.
bottom right)
7. In general, keep your message short & sweet. Below 300 words is
a good target.
Up next  Real-life samples
How to write thank-you emails that inspire, Network for Good Webinar 3/21/12: Lisa Sargent Communications

20. Real-life sample number one: Mercy Corps.
Bonus points for
P.S. ‘channel
crossing’: Mercy
followed up via
direct mail with a
thank you postcard,
tax receipt and
welcome pack.
How to write thank-you emails that inspire, Network for Good Webinar 3/21/12: Lisa Sargent Communications

21. Real-life sample number two: charity:water.
OK, so this isn’t the email.
It’s the redirect. But if you
want to see how to tell a
story in a thank-you
message, you can’t get
much better than this.
Tax receipt arrived as
promised, as did a
beautiful follow-up thank-
you email.
How to write thank-you emails that inspire, Network for Good Webinar 3/21/12: Lisa Sargent Communications

22. Real-life sample number three:
Wikimedia Foundation.
When Wikipedia went dark for a day, I gave, and received this
beautiful thank you in return. Because it was from a ‘real-live
person’, I replied to say how much I enjoyed the message.
Sadly, Wikimedia’s Sue Gardner never responded... dimming
gratitude’s warm glow.
How to write thank-you emails that inspire, Network for Good Webinar 3/21/12: Lisa Sargent Communications

23. Real-life sample number four:
NPCA
Note: a story about how I’m helping would be welcomed in this
email, as would the opportunity to click to NPCA’s beautiful
website for a video, or a resource (like a vacationer’s guide to
parks, e.g.) – which could easily go in a postscript.
How to write thank-you emails that inspire, Network for Good Webinar 3/21/12: Lisa Sargent Communications

24. Real-life sample number five:
Mr. Holland‟s Opus Foundation
MHOPUS proves you don’t have to deliver a fancy email to make donors feel loved. They also
followed up with a second thank-you email that was every bit as beautiful. And check out the
redirect... See next slide
How to write thank-you emails that inspire, Network for Good Webinar 3/21/12: Lisa Sargent Communications

25. Real-life sample number five:
Mr. Holland‟s Opus Foundation
The Mr. Holland’s Opus Foundation
proves you can deliver plenty of
donor-love on a bootstrap budget,
with its donor-centric redirect page,
warm email thank-you (see
previous slide) and follow-up thank
you email that included a
handwritten thank-you from a
budding young musician. Bravo!
Up next  homework (double groan!)
How to write thank-you emails that inspire, Network for Good Webinar 3/21/12: Lisa Sargent Communications

26. And now for your post-webinar homework assignments...
Assignment #1: Be your donor.
Make a donation from your homepage, via an Internet search. Land
there like a newbie. Use a new email account to do so. Take screen
shots to track each step of the process, while asking these questions:
1. Homepage: Can I quickly and easily find the donate button?
2. Click the donate button: How does my donate page look?
Assignment #2: 3. Fill it out: Are the fields easy to complete? Where am I redirected?
Be someone else’s Does this make sense to me?
donor. 4. Give: Am I redirected to a thank-you page? Inbox: Do I get a thank-
Go ‘mystery you email? How do the Sender and Subject fields look?
shopping’ and make 5. Open email. What do I see, images off? What do I see, images on?
donations to your 6. Read email. How does it make me feel?
competitors and to 7. Act on something. Does the email give me somewhere to click?
other nonprofit 8. Finish reading. Do I know where to go if I have a question? Does it
organizations. Go to feel like a “real person” will reply?
their homepages and 9. Ask a question. Does anyone reply?
repeat steps 1-10 at 10. Wait for something. Do I know what‟s coming next? Does it arrive
right. as promised?
Up next  The last word...
How to write thank-you emails that inspire, Network for Good Webinar 3/21/12: Lisa Sargent Communications

27. Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
(And all best wishes for your
e-thanking success!)
If you have questions or want to
get in touch with Lisa Sargent,
you can reach her:
By email:
flickr: woodleywonderworks lisa(at)lisasargent(dot)com
By phone: 860-851-9755
On Twitter: @lisasargent2
Free case studies, articles and more...
For free resources and to subscribe to The Loyalty Letter,
Lisa‟s free e-newsletter for nonprofits, visit: www.lisasargent.com.
Also visit Lisa‟s free thank you letter clinic on SOFII, with more samples, at
http://www.sofii.org/showcase?hall=274&id=68.