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I wish i was a fetus


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I wish i was a fetus

  1. 1. I wish I was a fetus
  2. 2. • I wish I was a fetus • I never would be bored • Sitting in my uterus • Swinging on my cord
  3. 3. • To worry obstetricians • I’d be a proper beast • I’d change position on the hour • Transverse, oblique then breech
  4. 4. • To student midwives I’d present • A mystifying case • I’d hide myself inside the os • and leave an empty space
  5. 5. • I’d tie my cord into a knot • And wave it through the cervix • I’d give the midwives such a shock • And laugh off all my vernix
  6. 6. • And when my membranes rupture • I’d be a right old pest • Presenting large diameters • I’d transversely arrest
  7. 7. • I’d tell my pal placenta • To get himself detached • To theatre then the lot of us • Would pronto be dispached
  8. 8. • And when they start to Caesar • I’d laugh and think ‘tee hee’ • When noone else is looking • I’ll come vaginally…