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Staying Out of Harm's Way: When Negative Communication Rears Its Ugly Head


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Presentation at the Women's Career Network on October 18, 2012 in Vienna, Austria at the Expat Center.

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Staying Out of Harm's Way: When Negative Communication Rears Its Ugly Head

  1. 1. When Negative Communication Rears Its Ugly Head October 18, 2012 Presented by Vici Koster-Lenhardt An American, A Communicator, A Thought Leader (c) Victoria Koster-Lenhardt, 2012
  2. 2. About You  Nationalities Works for a company  Austrian  European  Global Has their own company “Individual contributors” Manages a team, department, organization (c) Victoria Koster-Lenhardt, 2012
  3. 3. About Vici  Communications Professional since 1980  The Coca-Cola Company  The Hearst Corporation  Gannett News  The New York Times Society for Technical Communication  Fellow, past member of Board of Directors, founded Central European chapter Disclaimer: I’m not a psychologist or psychiatrist (c) Victoria Koster-Lenhardt, 2012
  4. 4. Agenda & Objectives  Objective:Get an overview of the tools available to help you succeed and get the results you want __________________________________________________ Exercise: Defining what difficult means and why Exercises 1&2: When communication flows; when communication fails 7 communication guidelines from the gurus Exercise 3: What now? Resources (c) Victoria Koster-Lenhardt, 2012
  5. 5. Click here for YouTube Video by InspiringWordz(c) (c) Victoria Koster-Lenhardt, 2012
  6. 6. Click here for YouTube Video by InspiringWordz(c) (c) Victoria Koster-Lenhardt, 2012
  7. 7. • How do you feel? How does the other person feel? _________________________________________• What are the results? What worked? _________________________________________ (c) Victoria Koster-Lenhardt, 2012
  8. 8. • How do you feel? How does the other person feel? _________________________________________• What are the results? What failed? _________________________________________ (c) Victoria Koster-Lenhardt, 2012
  9. 9. Tools and guidelines to use when negative communication rears its ugly head (c) Victoria Koster-Lenhardt, 2012
  10. 10. #1 Non-Violent Communication –Marshall Rosenberg  Click here: Marshall Rosenberg on Non-Violent Communication (c) Victoria Koster-Lenhardt, 2012
  11. 11. #1 Non-Violent Communication –Marshall Rosenberg   Enjoy giving from the heart  Speak the language of life, feelings, and needs (not criticism, moral judgment, diagnosis)  Create quality of connection with other people in which everybody’s needs are met through natural giving (not through guilt, fear, shame etc.)  Learn to express what’s alive in you and what would make life wonderful; listen for the same and (hear only this) (c) Victoria Koster-Lenhardt, 2012
  12. 12. #2, The Four Agreements –Don Miguel Ruiz  Be impeccable with your word Speak with integrity Say only what you mean Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love. (c) Victoria Koster-Lenhardt, 2012
  13. 13. #3 The Power of Intention –Dr. Wayne Dyer  Choose not to be offended You don’t have to be angry What is your intention? Do you want to be right or happy? (c) Victoria Koster-Lenhardt, 2012
  14. 14. #4 & 5 Integrity –Henry Cloud & Gandhi  What kind of "wave" do you want to leave behind you? Be the change you wish to see. (c) Victoria Koster-Lenhardt, 2012
  15. 15. #6 NLP Neuro-Linguistic Programming  Are you getting the results you want? If not, change your approach. (c) Victoria Koster-Lenhardt, 2012
  16. 16. #7–Vici (not a guru)  Its always about the other person; it’s not about you (c) Victoria Koster-Lenhardt, 2012
  17. 17. (c) Victoria Koster-Lenhardt, 2012
  18. 18. What now? 1. Breathe2. Take care of your soul3. Eat well4. Exercise5. Cultivate relationships that are important to you and practice random acts of kindness6. Be thankful every day for three things7. Do something fun every day (c) Victoria Koster-Lenhardt, 2012
  19. 19. GLOW Gratitude + Love + Optimism + Wonder (c) Victoria Koster-Lenhardt, 2012
  20. 20. • Which guru spoke to you and why? How could it help you? ________________________________________ (c) Victoria Koster-Lenhardt, 2012
  21. 21. Resources Communication   The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey  The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz , Marshall Rosenberg   The Power of Intention, Wayne Dyer  Introducing NLP – Psychological Skills for Understanding and Influencing People, Joseph O’Connnor & John Seymour Meditation  Search Inside Yourself –The Unexpected Path to Achieving Success, Happiness (and World Peace), Chade-Meng Tan  The Silva Ultramind ESP System, Ed Bernd, Jr.  The High-Performance Mind, Anna Wise Leadership & Career  Integrity: The Courage to Meet the Demands of Reality, Henry Cloud  The Dip, Seth Godin Happiness  The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun, Gretchen Rubin (c) Victoria Koster-Lenhardt, 2012
  22. 22. (c) Victoria Koster-Lenhardt, 2012