Talking across difference like gender, race, sexual orientation, and class can raise anxiety for many people, and yet we must have the conversation in our schools and our lives in order to be more inclusive, increase cultural competence, and change the world for the better. What are the fears and common pitfalls that keep us from broaching courageous conversations? Look beyond safety toward bravery.

1. St. Margaret’s Episcopal School
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Seattle Girls’ School
From Safe to Brave: Engaging in
Courageous Conversations
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

2. About Seattle Girls’ School
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

3. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
The Jones Model of Cultural Competence
Cultural Self-
Awareness
Cultural
Intelligence
Cross-Cultural
Effectiveness
Skills
Countering
Oppression
through
Inclusion

4. Engaging in Courageous
Conversations
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

5. Fears and Anxieties that Keep Us
from Having Conversations
 Offending
 Losing Face
 Tokenism
 Social/Professional Risk
 Bursting the Bubble
 Rocking the Boat
 Conflict
 Lack of “Authority”
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

6. Pitfalls and Obstacles that Keep Us
from Conversing Again
 Outbursts
 Silence
 Denial
 The Good Talk
 Teacher vs. Facilitator
 Personal Attacks
 The Quick Fix
 Leadership Oppression
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

7. Myths that Get In the Way
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
 All or None
 Mistakes
 Apologies
 “Tonsils” Theory
 Vulnerability

8. Reflection:
What anxieties,
obstacles, or myths pose
the greatest challenges
for you in engaging
courageously in
conversations?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

9. Safety Versus Comfort
Safety: I feel that, in this space, I can ask questions without
fear of judgment. I can voice my perspective and know that
I will be validated for the fact that that is my truth. Others
may challenge my ideas, but that challenge is in the spirit of
greater shared understanding and growth.
Comfort: I feel that, in this space, my reality will be agreed
with, validated, and unchallenged. I don’t have to explain
myself to be understood, and I don’t have to justify my
perspective, as everyone shares it.
True dialogue happens in an environment where everyone is
safe but not always comfortable...
SO THAT THEY CAN LEARN AND GROW.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

10. Moving Conversations
from Safe to Brave
 Controversy with Civility
 Ownership of intent and impact
 Challenge by choice – with reflection
 Respect in all its multiplicity
 Pointed challenges, not personal attacks
 Mindfulness of the true source of emotions
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

11. Embracing Mistakes
William Taylor’s Reflective Competence Model
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

12. Reflection:
What is a competence
you have developed
through mistakes,
humble curiosity, effort,
and practice?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

13. Openly Acknowledge
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

14. Define the Opportunity
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

15. Practice Growth Mindset
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

16. Engage in Dialogue Versus Debate
Brenda J. Allen, Difference Matters: Communicating Social Identity
SUPPORTIVE DEFENSIVE
Description Evaluation
Problem-Orientation Control
Spontaneity Strategy
Empathy Neutrality
Equality Superiority
Provisionalism Certainty
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

17. Inclusive Communities
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

18. Presenter Information
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
6th Faculty and
Professional Outreach
Seattle Girls’ School
2706 S Jackson Street
Seattle WA 98144
(206) 805-6562
rlee@seattlegirlsschool.org
http://tiny.cc/rosettalee
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

19. Resources
• Anti-Defamation League
• Brené Brown
• Cross Cultural Connections
(www.CulturesConnecting.com)
• National Coalition Building Institute
• The People’s Institute
• Stirfry Seminars
• Teaching Tolerance
• The Thiagi Group
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)