3. THE PROBLEM WITH MY SON
Lazy
Stubborn
Unappreciative
Wasting his life
Stupid
Gets what he deserves
4. There is a problem here
I am blaming my son for many things
Am I solving the problem – NO
I must justify my actions.
ANALYSIS
5. THE PROBLEM WITH MY SON
HOW I VIEWED MYSELF
Good Dad
Supported the family
Wanted the best
Fair
Knew what was best
Had to be strict to be firm
6. An act contrary to what I feel I should do
for another is called an act of self-
betrayal
When you betray yourself. you begin to
see the world in a way that justifies your
self-betrayal
When you see a self -justifying world, your
view of reality becomes distorted.
When you betray yourself, you enter the
BOX
Self
Betrayal
Self
Deception
7. How I view myself
Good Dad
Supported the family
Wanted the best
Fair
Knew what was best
Had to be strict to be
firm
How I perceive my
son
Lazy
stubborn
Unappreciative
Wasting his life
Stupid
Gets what he
deserves
BEHAVIOUR
Provide the help and support to my son
CHOICE
Betray it
(self deception)
Honour it
8. She saw others as
people
Behaviour
Sitting next to empty seat
Observing other passengers
Reading the paper
I saw myself and others in
a distorted way
I viewed others as objects
OUT of the BOXIN the BOX
9. Over time, certain boxes become characteristic
and you carry then with you
By being in the BOX, you provoke others to be in
their own BOXES
PERSISTENCE OF BOXES
10. A GOOD COMPANY IS ONE THAT
RUNS LIKE A WELL OILED MACHINE
11. • Mechanical parts are independent;
• Mechanical parts are
interchangeable;
• Created for a specific purpose;
• Inanimate ( no learning);
• Changes need to be imposed from
outside;
• Reactive not proactive.
PROBLEMS WITH MECHANICAL
METAPHOR
13. • Are adaptable to different purposes;
• Animate (can definitely learn);
• Changes can come from within;
• Proactive not reactive.
ADVANTAGES FOR THE
SYSTEMS METAPHOR
14. COMPANIES ARE
LIVING ORGANISMS
Germs destroy health and are very
infectious
For a company to be healthy we
must control the germs
Identify at source and prevent.
15. How I view myself
Victim
Hardworking
Important
Fair
Sensitive
Good Manager
Good Worker
How I perceive
workers
Lazy
Inconsiderate
Unappreciative
Insensitive
Stupid
Bad Workers
BEHAVIOUR
Provide support to the workers
CHOICE
Betray it
(self deception)
Honour it
17. How I view myself
Victim
Hardworking
Important
Fair
Sensitive
Good Manager
Good Worker
Lack of commitment
How I perceive
workers
Lazy
Inconsiderate
Unappreciative
Insensitive
Stupid
Bad Workers
Consequences
Lack of Engagement
Lack of Motivation
Troublemaking
Stress
Poor Teamwork
Bad Attitude
Lack of Trust
CommunicationProblems
Misalignment
BEHAVIOUR
Provide support to the workers
CHOICE
Betray it
(self deception)
Honour it
18. There is a germ infecting the company
which is spreading and stopping it operate
efficiently.
The germ is “self deception”
Self – deception is when you cannot
blame your self so you out your self in a
box which insulates you from responsibility.
This box can look like this
A MAJOR CONTRIBUTION TO
MANAGEMENT FAILURE IS YOU –
THE MANAGERS
19. What is the purpose of management – to get results
You can’t focus on results when you are focussing
on yourself (in the Box)
When you blame, you blame because of Yourself
not of others
Recognise when others are in a Box WITHOUT
blaming them
People choose to follow leaders who are outside
the Box
SUMMARY OF THE PROBLEM
20. HOW DOES ONE GET OUT OF THE BOX?
Changing your behaviour
Trying to change others
Trying to ”cope with others”
Communication
Implementing new skills and
techniques
Leaving the problem
NO
Recognising that it exists
You get out of the BOX as soon
as you stop resisting other
PEOPLE
Stop blaming other people to
hide your own failings
Look to help other people
Recognising that the other box
contains people not objects
YES
21. 1. Don’t try and be perfect – try to be BETTER
2. Don’t use words such as the BOX with people who don’t already know –
Use the principles in your own life
3. Don’t look for other people’s BOXES – look for your own
4. Don’t accuse others of being in a BOX. Try and stay out of your own
5. Don’t give up when you discover you are in a BOX – keep trying
6. Don’t deny when you have been in a BOX. Apologise and move on
7. Don’t focus on what others are doing wrong. Focus on what you can do
right to help
8. Don’t worry whether others are helping you. Worry whether you are
helping others
EIGHT DON’TS FOR A GOOD MANAGER
22. CONCLUSION
I have shown that it is easy to fall into the
trap of Self-deception
This can have bad consequences for
yourself and for the company.
Boxes spread quickly through a company
causing breakdown in trust
It is easy to escape your box
TREAT PEOPLE AS PEOPLE.