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Verbal Judo


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Have you ever been verbally attacked by someone? Have you ever heard something like "You always miss the deadlines!" or "Your code is a mess!"? Spend 40 minutes with me and learn how to turn such statements into your advantage!

Published in: Technology
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Verbal Judo

  1. 1. VERBAL JUDO With Darja Krizska LatCraft Rehearsal, May 19th, 2016
  2. 2. «Kick the cat»
  3. 3. What makes us angry? ■ When others unfairly distort the truth and make us feel we are worse than we are.
  5. 5. Your Magic Rules of Verbal Judo 1. YOU evaluate YOUR truth. The attacker has his/her truth. 2. Construct fogging response. Absorb the attacker’s energy. You ONLY agree with the degree YOU feel is true. *Only respond to one accusation at a time. *No apologies! 3. Negative inquiry: What else is upsetting you about me? [Repeat the process]
  6. 6. The Goal of Verbal Judo ■ Take the attacker’s negative energy away until the attacker gives up.
  7. 7. Examples Sometimes I think you aren’t attentive to your work, but I was wrong, You’re just plain stupid! - Sometimes I feel I shall be more attentive to my work. Or - Sometimes I feel I am stupid.
  8. 8. Examples Your development time is always twice as long for the same work done by your colleagues and it contains millions of bugs!
  9. 9. Work in groups 1 . Attacker 2. Responder 3. Observer
  10. 10. Checklist ■ Was it hard to formulate an answer? ■ Was it dificult to see the disctortion? ■ Was it possible to answer only to one accusation at a time? ■ Did Responder manage not to apologize? Did it feel ok? ■ Did Responder use negative inquiry when answering? ■ Other comments?
  11. 11. THANK YOU! Darja Krizska (+371) 29 - 808 - 715