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A View of The Other Side
I want to talk a little about mental health. It is a vast subject, and modern science, despite it...
natural enthusiasm. Such people may even give up entirely, deep down, because they know how
difficult it is being in a rel...
mind and the challenges of everyday life! Those who have found true love, though, speak
differently about it. They use wor...
mates meet. All you have to do is trust, keep it real, and take one courageous step at a time.
In my experience, the more ...
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A View of The Other Side - I want to talk a little about mental health. It is a vast subject, and modern science, despite its tremendous leaps forward in technology, is still somewhat in the dark.

Mental ill health is a disability, make no mistake. Its effects are far reaching, not least for those in search of love. It erodes confidence, self-trust, spontaneity, trust, positive expectation and natural enthusiasm.

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A View of The Other Side - I want to talk a little about mental health. It is a vast subject, and modern science, despite its tremendous leaps forward in technology, is still somewhat in the dark.

  1. 1. A View of The Other Side I want to talk a little about mental health. It is a vast subject, and modern science, despite its tremendous leaps forward in technology, is still somewhat in the dark, when it comes to the human mind. We simply do not know enough about it. It is like the Universe, we have travelled a little way, but it is so vast, there is little hope of ever being able to say we have seen it all. I don’t believe anyone, no matter how many letters they have after their name, can call themselves an expert on mental health. Those who have experienced mental ill health, and all of us have at one time or another, in varying degrees (depression is an example)...those people, they know more, from experience. You see my friends; it is one of the most disempowering and frightening feelings to suffer from mental ill health. Unlike an open wound, inner wounds in the psyche are, to everyone else, hidden. I suffered from mental ill health following the birth of my second child. I was diagnosed with post natal depression, and I go along with that diagnosis. However, there was a pelvic injury during the birth, and problems with my spine, which , I now know, was the beginning of Fibromyalgia. I share this to illustrate how closely connected our mental health is, to our physical health. Those who have lost a limb can testify how deep this goes, they tell me that they can still feel tingling in their toes, when there aren’t any. They occasionally experience the most terrible phantom pains, in the limb that they have lost, and no pain killer works effectively, because so little is understood, still, about the power of the mind. The mind still believes a limb exists, on some level, whilst consciously accepting the loss of that limb. Remarkable really, frightening for those who have experienced these phantom pains. It is a very human trait that we try to escape those things that frighten us, or at least make us feel uncomfortable. I remember, some years ago, judging someone who suffered from Fibromyalgia, I have a different opinion now that I’m wearing the same shoes! I didn’t overtly judge, but deep down inside I thought it was all a little melodramatic, with a tendency to focus on the negative....it was there, judgment. We all do it, if we are honest...and those souls diagnosed with mental illness, like Bi Polar, for example, suffer not only the condition itself, but the frustrating blindness and judgment of those who simply cannot relate on an experiential level. As the Native American proverb states, " Never judge a man until you have walked a mile in his moccasins"....(This proverb seems to be in quite a few traditions, different words, meaning the same...Truth is Universal). We can never truly know another’s' pain unless we have experienced something similar, ourselves. Mental ill health is a disability, make no mistake. Its effects are far reaching, not least for those in search of love. It erodes confidence, self-trust, spontaneity, trust, positive expectation and
  2. 2. natural enthusiasm. Such people may even give up entirely, deep down, because they know how difficult it is being in a relationship with themselves, let alone anyone else. We want to show the way forward. Everyone is entitled to be loved, whatever the disability, the illness, the trauma, the physical condition of the body. Everyone. It is our Divine right to experience love. We are meant to, that’s why we are here. Not just to learn and grow on this beautiful planet, but to experience the Divine, through love. God created us in his Image, in as much as we would be able to experience supreme joy, here on earth, whilst in physical bodies. Our medium for this, is from love. There are many forms of love....The love of a parent for a child, the love of the animals who we care for, the love of creative interests; whatever stimulates our creative spirit...all is driven by love. We don’t question it; we just do it...However we do begin to question when it comes down to receiving love from another within an intimate relationship. Again in varying degrees, depending on childhood conditioning, health and personality etcetera. After the initial excitement of falling in love wears off, and the euphoria subsides, then the questions begin to surface. Is there a future with this person? Do they love me as much as I love them? Are they the right person for me? Can they love me, warts and all? If they really knew me, deep down, would they still love me? Alongside the questions are those little uncertainties and fears....Am I good enough? True love encompasses, embraces all of the above. Ego based love (love based on whatever we think we want to achieve from love) runs for the hills. Love simply cannot exist in an ego fuelled environment. My eldest son once told me, when I asked him what he thought love is, "Love is whatever you want from a person"... I believe on one level, that this is true...if we love the quality of honesty and our partner has this quality in abundance, we love them for it. However it’s a delicate balance to view relationships in this way...it’s like walking a tightrope across the ravine of Ego...very easy to slip and fall. Love is a feeling. We feel it. On an emotional level. We need it in order to grow and thrive, in any way we can find it. So we search for it. We crave it. We know its energy is life enhancing. We know it is the source. We yearn for it. So we should. It is a worthy cause to search for a partner whom we can love truly, and who loves us in return. If only it were that simple, given the human
  3. 3. mind and the challenges of everyday life! Those who have found true love, though, speak differently about it. They use words like acceptance, trust, dependability, reliability, openness, unconditional positive regard, respect etc. They don’t speak about how wonderful their partner is, apart from the odd understated compliment, they generally speak about how it feels to be in love. And this isn’t the 'high' we all expect it to be...its grounded, its solid, it’s based on calm, 100 percent knowing...it’s very beautiful, and we all know it exists, even if we haven’t found it...which is why we search. For those who are in the search for true love, who may be labouring under some mental or physical health condition, take heart...true love looks past the surface. It doesn’t reason like the ego. It doesn’t even register the importance of such things. It loves regardless. Unlike the ego, who wants a great looking partner, one accomplished in certain areas, one who can give them all they need to find happiness, meals out, romantic overtures, the Valentine Picture Perfect Love, with true love, the romance just happens. It is a natural progression arising from wanting to care for another and show them how much we care. The ego is concerned with how it looks to others, family, friends...it is all about surface. It is transitory, and it will not last. There will only ever be a series of these types of relationships, not one longstanding one, because the ego is always seeking more, better...and it is never satisfied. I know, it took me many years of such painful relationships before I was finally ready to experience real love. So, when compiling a profile of yourself, to introduce yourself on a dating site, such as this one, stop and search your heart. What is really important deep down? Is it that you have a physical condition that everyone sees as a disability? Is it that someone has to be willing to accept this? Is it so that you can finally be happy? There are no right or wrong answers by the way, these are offers of questions...every individual has their own, personal issues and point of view, how they feel. What is important, though, is SELF honesty. What are your special gifts... regardless of upbringing, money, social standing etc? What would you like to share with another? What would you like to feel, with a partner? Secure? Safe? Trusted? Trusting? Childlike? Confident? Creative? Expansive? Free (Yes true love makes us feel totally free to be who we are!) Rather than asking what you would like a partner to look like, what kind of person do you think would complement your personality, really? Taking time with this type of personal analysis is very beneficial...it takes the emphasis away from the grasping; needy side of Ego based love, and instead points a signpost in the direction of Love, a path that leads us to where we can offer the beauty of ourselves. Trust me; there is someone out there who will absolutely adore who you are, and everything about you. Perfectly suited to you. He or she may not be 'perfect', beautiful, successful by modern, mundane society’s standards, but they are 'perfect' for you. Trust, my friends. That there are angels and spirit guides, who know more than you. They can see the whole plan. They know all about you, your strengths, your weaknesses, and they know your future partners too! I truly believe we have matchmaker angels, whose joy is in helping soul
  4. 4. mates meet. All you have to do is trust, keep it real, and take one courageous step at a time. In my experience, the more a person has suffered either mentally, emotionally or physically, the more courageous they are. They have had to fight, hard, against the odds. They have faced their own personal hell, and seen through it, to the other side. They know happiness, like love, is a feeling, that comes from gratitude. A gift that is won, for the self, through appreciating what we have, instead of what we have not. They are ready for the journey of sharing this with another soul. They are ahead of the game so to speak, and are closer to the source of love than those for whom life has always been relatively easy. They are not more or less deserving of love, but they do have special gifts that make finding true love easier. They know that they are not perfect, that no one is, so they accept that in a partner more readily. They have seen 'life' from a different viewpoint. They have a View from the other side. Our heartfelt wish, is that through the Kiss Abled website, more connections can be made. It is yet another avenue, an opening for people to widen the search for a partner to love. The wider the net is cast, the more chance there is of finding that special person who is, likewise searching for someone like you. Kiss Abled is something more though, it offers links for ongoing support, advice and encouragement. We know, finding a partner is just the beginning, a journey at its start. Sharing wisdom, insights and learning with others on their journeys is an invaluable source of support. We at Kiss Abled don’t just want you to find The One, we want you to find them, experience love in its purest form, and spend your life loving and being loved by the One, as you get to know them on deeper and deeper levels. We know it’s not always easy. But it is worth it! Article courtesy of www.kissabledblog.com

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